I don't own SnK

"Anger is just a cowardly extension of sadness. It's a lot easier to be angry at someone than it is to tell them you're hurt."

–Tom Gates

~Chapter Twenty-One: Operation~

Jean stared at Eren in shock.

He gaped with an incredulous look presented in his eyes from across where the brunette was sitting. After Eren had called him at such an ungodly hour, he was concerned as to how his friend was doing because he sounded so…broken over the phone. He might have been already over with his romantic feelings for him, but as someone who had known Eren Jaeger in years, he knew that he had every right to barge into his apartment at three in the morning without so much of a warning except from the "I'm coming" statement from him that ended the phone call effectively. And what he hadn't expected was for a bloodshot-eyed Eren to come out from his room, or the fact that he practically fell on Jean upon opening his damn door. He didn't know what was going on until the green-eyed man told him everything. Every. Single. Thing. And Jean didn't know what to do but stare at the man he once fell in love with, an upsetting feeling settling on his stomach.

No wonder he looks so broken.

As if by instinct, he shifted on his seat but halted completely as a passing thought came into his mind. Eren probably wouldn't appreciate to be held by another man—not when he sacrificed everything for Levi, not when he was probably aching with the need to go after the man that he loved so much and erase every lie he had to tell him. As much as that stung, Jean understood Eren's point of view. If he was in Eren's shoes and he was the one that he needed to protect with everything he had, Jean wouldn't hesitate to do it.

He was consumed with sadness as he realized how much painful it must have been for Eren. And he remembered his pathetic excuse of breaking up with this fascinating young man before him.

"I'm sorry," he started. He looked at Eren whose head was downcast and he couldn't help but feel useless, face contorting in pain.

"Why are you saying sorry?" the brunette asked him, voice was cracking, after that stretch of silence.

"Because I feel really pathetic right now."

Eren looked at him and Jean was glad that he wasn't crying anymore. At this state of his friend, Jean was reminded of the day that he found Eren in his old house. He was in the area where flashes of cop lights blinded the entire street when he was on the way home, and somehow he knew that the checkmarks of absences of a certain student in his class was related to the incident. He ran to Eren's usual hangouts until an idea clicked into his mind and he figured—he just somehow had a feeling—that Eren would be where his sanctuary was. And Jean indeed found him sitting in a room with an open window, blood pooling on the floor of the old house. That was the start of their friendship and the day he learned that he was simply incapable of leaving Eren Jaeger alone.

"I was a complete asshole to you, and the fact that you came to me for help really wounds me, Eren. I feel really pathetic," he repeated with bitterness seeping through his voice, meeting that dead gaze that Eren was directing to him. "I broke up with you because of a dare, because of my pride, but that's only half of the truth."

"…What do you mean?"

He exhaled loudly and looked at the hands lying limply on his thighs. "I loved you, Eren, and you know that. Which is probably why I was so scared to look at you that time. Law school had been a bitchass pain in the neck and I felt like we were moving farther away from each other, and this pressure had led to one thing and another."

The atmosphere was so tense that Jean was almost afraid that it would be a never-ending stillness, and there was that sensation that Eren was probably staring at him now, all-ears just for him. And his heart silently throbbed. He should've talked to him about this a long time ago, then maybe—just, maybe—he would've still held Eren in his arms.

"I was on the verge of becoming dependent on drugs." There was a silent gasp that echoed in the room and he didn't have to turn around to know that it was the brunet who was staring at him in shock now. "And my wake-up call was your absence."

His eyes became filled with sorrow. He really thought that maybe the time he had without Eren in his side would've already erased all the pain, but he guessed that that was not the case at all. In fact, it merely spurred on the heartache and his self-diminution.

"Tell me about it," Eren suddenly spoke that it startled him out of his thoughts, making him look at those ocean eyes that he really loved so much. The thought of this short-tempered brunet giving him all the attention that he would've wanted before long almost made him cry and he had to look down again so that the tears that managed to escape was tucked away from Eren's sight. He didn't want to look even more pitiful in front of this young man. But the concerned tone in Eren's voice made his words flow from his mouth, and he once again regretted that he didn't open up to him before this.

Jean told him everything; how his parents and school had been hard on him to the point that he decided to relieve some stress by going to one house party, something that he didn't tell Eren about. He was introduced to something that relieved his stress, his worries, and everything, and before he knew what was happening, he was going from small to a high dose of it and all the while jumping from one gathering to another. Weeks before he broke up with Eren, he was trying to get himself away from the 'influence' and one irritated moment was all it took for him to blurt out the stupidest thing to Eren, which led to one thing and another (like his parents almost kicking him out after he told them about the drugs, but they helped him out in the end), and he became single. But more than that, he realized how it felt like to be alone—to feel empty without Eren and without the normal interactions with his friends.

"And that's how I promised to get back on my feet. I want to become…myself again because I saw how wrecked I became and that I was spiraling downwards and I just wanna fix everything and I think it's really working," he concluded in a rush. He could feel his blood going to his face, ashamed of what he had done. He might have already done the confessing part to some doctor for them to help him but it didn't make it sound any better. He made a mistake, but now he was truly trying his hardest to heal his wounds and become whole again.

The sound of the chair scraping the wood made him look up and he watched as Eren approached him and put his hand on his shoulder, giving it a squeeze that brought warm comfort to his chest, filling him the essence that he probably needed for some time now. He realized that this was new, for Eren was more of an impulsive type, saying his thoughts out loud without thinking about it twice, and he was never the one to be calm about it. The corner of his eyes wrinkled as Jean smiled, accidentally letting out a chuckle. The touch on his shoulder became feathery light and he knew that Eren must be looking at him confusedly now.

"That Shortie must have done a great deal to tone your angry-button down quite a notch," he remarked. It successfully lightened the atmosphere around them and he didn't miss the shake of the head that Eren directed to him.

"You have no idea." There was humor in that and Jean wanted to keep that up but Eren became solemn as if something just clicked in his head. He would rather prefer some comical relief over a stress-inducing topic right now, but he knew that he needed to delve further to this situation that this brunet got into.

"You didn't call and tell me all that for nothing, eh?" he initiated, and a foreboding air erased all the mirth in that room. He didn't like where this was going and knowing Eren Jaeger, he had every right to assume that there was something big—dangerous and probably something worse than any finals—that was playing in that artist's mind. His hands unconsciously clenched on their own and he felt like he was waiting for his life sentence because he knew that he wouldn't be able to do it—he wouldn't be able to refuse Eren. And the words that the brunet uttered afterwards made his eyes go big and drew a sharp intake of breath from his lungs.

"I want to break into Reiss Corporation and expose those dirty hands that Rod Reiss is hiding behind his back."

Well, there goes my hope of living a peaceful life.

"Go home," Eren commanded him in a tired voice, but all Jean could do was splutter some incoherent sentence that should really be "That's fucking dangerous and you're not going alone."

"Who says I'm going alone?" So Eren did understand him. He refrained himself from shoving the man because he knew that would clearly do nothing except that Eren would probably punch him in return.

"What do you mean?" Jean asked, a little freaked out because there they were, on the road and on the way to some arcade because Eren decided that it was a good idea to actually go somewhere after their confession moment just ten minutes ago. Oh, and he might or might not have mentioned that he wanted to take down one of the well-known business tycoons in the country. And did Jean also mention that he was the one who was forced to drive because he didn't want anything to happen to this almost six-feet bundle of joy?

"I have connections…and might have gotten involved in some FBI shit." That statement almost made him hit the brakes but thank God because he was not some stupid little shit who wanted to break into a fucking corporation. Oh, wait; he was currently sitting next to one.

"This is beyond ridiculous," he squeaked and he couldn't stop his face from going red because wow, that sounds sooo cool.

"I told you to go home and just drop me off some train station," Eren insisted, letting some annoyance flow in his voice, and Jean really wanted to whack him in the head because this Jaeger obviously doesn't know how much he means to people like me, and God forbid that Mikasa finds out about this; she's gonna fucking break our legs. He visibly shuddered, willing himself not to think about a certain black-haired woman who would go to the other end of the world for Eren.

"We're here," he announced and he turned back to the reckless young man sitting there, looking a bit impatient as evidenced with the tapping of his foot. "And don't think for a second that I'll let you go alone."

"You know why I told you everything, right?" Eren asked; the question bounced off the interior of the car.

"My dad can help you with the court cases and filing one once we get the evidence that we need. I can help with the digging, and my dad will most likely say yes to this because he's the most passionate one with justice and all that. I'm assuming that I got that all right?" There was really no particular tone in his voice as he said all of that but he watched as Eren shrunk away from his gaze and his face contorted with some guilt.

"Don't feel sorry; I know what you're thinking right now. But I promise you that I'm helping you because of my genuine concern of your entire being, which, by the way, I had found beaten and bloody and battered in more than one occasion. I'd rather not see…" he trailed off. He really didn't want to envision such a horrible image in his mind so he quickly switched gears, "By helping you, I'm also gaining what is there to gain for becoming a lawyer, you know."

Eren was silent for a while but he knew that the artist was seriously thinking about what he said; if there was something that Eren knew about Jean, it was the fact that he couldn't be completely selfless. And he was glad that he was that person, because seeing his friend like this would have made him think about sacrificing everything for him.

He realized then that Eren was just as selfless as he was afraid himself to become. He did everything for Levi—endured the pain that was caused by such tragic fate that tied them together in a form of love that ended in less than twenty-four hours. The pain was raw and unbearable, Jean knew that, and how could Eren stand up even after all that was something he couldn't fathom.

He's strong.

And he had been strong ever since he lost his parents. Ever since he became alone.

The FBI department upstairs of an arcade was the last thing would come in mind unless you played too much video games, but here he was, in front of a desk of someone named Mike Zacharius. Yes, Eren's boss.

"You're the owner of the bakery," Jean uttered dumbly, staring at the blonde with wide eyes. At the corner of his eye, Eren sagged on the chair situated in front of the agent.

"Please, have a seat," Mike asked him politely with a small smile on his face. It dissipated a second after as his eyes swept towards Eren who looked even more exhausted. Jean made himself as comfortable as he could be on the chair opposite from his friend.

"What happened?"

Eren looked at the older man with eyes that glinted dangerously—and possibly murderously, but Jean chose to ignore that—before he began pocketing something from his jeans. He then took out something small and black that Jean's eyes followed until it was pressed on the palm of the agent.

"My dad's…last message," he said, pausing a bit.

It's the flash drive.

"What is its content?" Mike asked, all serious now and the intimidating aura around him made Jean glad that he was not sitting that close to the man. He would've already been swallowed whole if that was the case, because he was really all nerves right now.

"Material to expose Rod Reiss," Eren answered. Before the man could open his mouth to question him any further, those blue-green eyes hastily scanned the area and Jean caught the twitch in Mike's eyes. "Where's Erwin?"

Erwin? Who—Oh, right. Levi's friend.

"It's…"

"Don't lie to me, Mike," Eren growled out of the blue that it made Jean flinched.

Mike's shoulders slumped forward and he clasped his fingers to rest his chin over it. Jean felt bad because the agent looked thoroughly spent like he had been under the gutter for weeks.

"In the hospital."

Eren abruptly stood up and began pacing, which was something that told Jean now would be the perfect time to leave before all hells break loose, but that would be cruel and would be downright wrong because he volunteered to do this. But what am I really getting myself into? And he found out the answer to that unspoken question when Eren made his outburst.

"YOU TOLD ME THAT EVERYTHING WAS ALRIGHT!" The brunet screamed but Mike looked unfazed as if he was expecting it. Eren stopped short in front of the older man and he slammed his hands on the desk with his eyes glaring accusingly to the agent. "You told me that I could have the OK to go to France and that the attacks have stopped after that incident at the bakery. You told me that there was nothing to worry about. I shouldn't have believed you—"

"I wasn't lying." Mike stared at the younger male with intensity that even Jean wanted to back away from. "They ceased their activities, not until a week ago."

Jean looked at Eren as the color drained from his face.

"What were you protecting me from?" he whispered and Jean almost didn't catch it.

Mike looked away and leaned his mouth away from his hands and Jean almost couldn't catch on until he spoke once again, "I had to make sure that they didn't know you were alive this whole time."

Eren shook and Jean would've already whisked him away if not for the fact that this matter was really none of his concern. He didn't know what the details were but based from what Mike said, it looked like this whole ordeal was even more complicated that he thought it was. No, this was terrifyingly dangerous and he had to shake away the thoughts that someone might not make it alive in one of these days. Was this the battle that Eren had been fighting against all this time?

"They don't know that I'm alive? No. They did not know."

Mike's gaze flickered back to the brunet and he stated, "I pulled some strings and erased your records of relation with your parents in most systems they could get information out of. It was shown that you died in the car accident. But they probably found out about that, and about you."

Eren went back to his seat; eyes were going wild with the information that was obviously not well-received. Eren told Jean earlier that Mike was protecting him from the people who caused his mom's death and possibly his dad's, too, and all this time whatthe brunet thought he knew was that those people already knew about him. But this revelation truly made this whole thing even more fucked-up.

This means that all this time Mike and Erwin were protecting Eren's identity while shouldering the attention to themselves because they knew that these FBI agents are onto them and it's a reason to attack. And now that they probably know about Eren, they know who the real threat is now. He's the son of the doctor that knew about their business and Eren remembers who killed his mother. He's the key to everything. Ah, shit. What the hell is gonna happen now?

As Jean mulled about the quagmire that was currently presented before him—such dilemma that he knew he wouldn't be able to get out unscathed—Eren filled in the silence with voice that cracked as he tried to stop his trembling.

"Cap, please do something for me," Eren pleaded and Jean stared at him. "Protect them for me."

There was a beat of stillness before Mike responded, "Already did that."

He truly is selfless. How could he actually think about Levi, Mikasa, Armin and his other friends and family when it was his life that was truly in danger here? Jean looked away and closed his eyes. He already made his resolve.

And it was the next statement that Eren let go from his mouth that sent the finality of it.

"I want to catch them all."

Jean would never think that in his life, he would actually work with the FBI this soon. Yes, he knew that he would work alongside with the police and the other figures of justice because he wanted to be a lawyer, but that didn't mean that he expected himself a part of an operation to take down one of the biggest corporations in the country. Now that he thought about it, wouldn't that be bad for the economy? Oh, how much he hated thinking.

"Did you get to talk to your art professor?" he asked Eren, who was practically bouncing on adrenaline. Jean was high-strung too because these days, he felt like someone would gun him whenever he stopped by a street, which wasn't really that far-off from reality considering that their enemies were probably watching them. The thought made him shiver.

"Yeah, and he gave his approval. He never thought that I would find out about this thing so soon," Eren told him.

"This soon? Are you kidding? That's five years," Jean couldn't help but say.

"I know. I interpreted it as his saying that he never really wanted me to find out about this, which made me think that he was probably thinking of making a move before I did."

"How old is Pixis again?" Jean asked, his voice raising a pitch higher.

"I don't know," the brunet frowned. "In his 50's? 60's?"

"And he expects to take them down?"

"I guess," Eren shrugged.

Wow. This world must be crazier than Jean thought it was.

"Eren, about Armin—"

"No," the response was immediate and Jean almost felt sorry that he brought the blonde up but he knew that he had to.

"He could help us hack their system, Eren. Hell, he'll hack the screens of Times Square if he wants to. All I'm saying is that—"

"It's too dangerous!" Eren yelled, which earned a couple of conspicuous stares from the other tables.

"Armin isn't as weak as you think he is. Everyone that you're trying to protect is stronger than you think they are," He whispered more harshly than he intended to. Jean knew that he was touching a sensitive topic but he knew how to break Eren's seams and he already thought about this. With Armin's little genius mind, this operation would have a higher chance of success. He wanted for everything to work out, now that they were at this point where there was no turning back.

He sighed. It was tiring and being in this operation-take-down-Rod-Reiss had probably already taken away ten years of his life, but there was something that kept him grateful that he was in this position right now. It was horrifying, but Jean now knew that this world was cruel and that not everything was solely focused on one individual; an event could turn into a chain that could drag everything and everyone to drown in sorrow and anger and anguish. He knew that there were even more appalling events and awful human beings out there, but the fact that someone he knew was going through this knocked him off his feet. Acknowledging it was one thing, but seeing it was another thing. Was this why he wanted to become a lawyer? Was it because he wanted to become the shield of the weak and the victimized? Was it because he wanted to see the world for what it really was?

But other than the things that got him thinking about his career, Jean felt useful. He was needed. He was necessary. And the thought that he could help someone through his own effort made him thankful that he was alive.

He now wanted to see the world for what it really was.

"Sorry, I know you're trying to help and you do have a point but let me think about it." Jean had to bite his tongue to prevent the but we might not even have that much time left leave his mouth. "Thank you."

He didn't need to glance at Eren to know that he was giving him a small smile. He merely stared at the singer performing on the platform with the people giving her a round of applause.

"You're welcome, but I really want you to know that you probably shortened my lifespan," he said with a playful smirk.

He heard a light chuckle, which made him turn to his friend and his eyes shifted behind Eren and caught someone whose face was shielded away by a black bowler hat. Jean's blood ran cold and somehow, he knew that he was one of them. He harshly pulled Eren's arm, almost knocking the cup of iced latte on the table, and he heard him hiss.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

Eren looked like he caught on because his eyes widened and a flitting look of panic crossed his face. He attempted to turn to see who it was but Jean gripped Eren's arm more tightly and whispered between his teeth, "Don't."

It took some tense silence before his brain finally stopped its temporary brain-freeze and finally worked its wonder, and Jean couldn't hear the singer anymore or the clamor of people chatting or clapping hands. He swiped his eyes around the coffee shop and saw a backdoor, and the performer was stepping down from the platform—now would be the perfect chance.

"Let's go," Jean muttered and they stood up as a group of people from the adjacent table began to head for the front door. He took that moment to mow down the other people in the way as they busied themselves in giving the singer compliments and whatnot. They were almost there, but Jean felt Eren go rigid that he halted on his tracks.

"What the fuck are you doing, Jaeger?"

Eren spoke as if he didn't hear him, "That's the same man I saw at the gallery show."

Everything clicked then. Of course, Eren fucking Jaeger just had to be famous enough to get spotted by one of Reiss's men. That was how it all blew up. They probably investigated him and found out that those records from years ago were all false.

"The more reason we have to hurry." Jean wanted to shove Eren in the front but his eyes widened as the said man with the hat stared at him. It made him falter for half a second but now that he knew what he was living for, Jean wouldn't just get rooted on the ground. He was needed, and yeah, they really needed to do something too.

Like—

"Shit. Run."

And that was what they did.

Jean didn't need to look back to know that the surprised shrieks of some customers and some glass breaking was because of a person who could probably be chasing someone. Yeah, someone or some people—namely Jean and Eren. He was thankful that the backdoor was working because being stuck between a closed door and a damn hitman or something would have been the worst situation of all times. He was certainly thankful for those hours of working out because his lungs weren't giving out as adrenaline rushed into his veins, spurred on by a combination of fear, panic, and determination.

They made it out of the back alley and the smell of rat piss, Chinese food take-outs and whatever disgusting things lying around hit their nostrils that made Jean gag a bit. The lack of response from Eren's part made him look at his companion and the look of utter constipation on the brunet's face almost made him laugh. But that wasn't really the proper time for it, not when there could be someone running behind them with a gun. Jean remembered thinking how cool it was to see an assassin when he was a kid because they were pretty badass but now that this situation had him involved as that assassin's target, he couldn't help but curse the existence of them. Oh, how he loved to be innocent once again.

They continued running and even if it was already late at night, there were still many people who were hanging around. Like c'mon, it was 'the city that never sleeps'. They kept bumping to people and the resounding curses and yells some yards away from them were the clues that there was someone who was indeed hot on their heels. Jean couldn't help but think that a single man couldn't possibly take them out, which means that Mr. Assassin must have had some friends situated on certain positions. Going to the subway stations would be bad and so would be going to some shop; they might even involve some innocent civilians and Jean didn't want that.

Eren abruptly stopped and Jean was afraid that he tripped or something, like that on those dramatic action movies (he really hated seeing those parts because it was just simply cliché as fuck). However, the loud gasp that came from his companion made him follow where he was currently staring. And there he was, with his silver Maserati and his permanently molded of a grumpyass face… Oh, wait. Uh-Oh. Shortie looks real pissed right now.

It made Jean think that he'd rather deal with Mr. Assassin behind them than with Levi… who was, by the way, shooting off looks that could make a grown man cry. And no doubt, it was directed to Jean.

Then, he heard him yell out, "Fucking duck, horseface."

He would've laughed if not for the fact that a baseball bat was flying towards him.

Well, shit.

A/N: I could imagine what I did last chapter ,_, *my reaction whenever I read a fic and that happens. This chapter - well yeah, they haven't gotten back together yet but...maybe in a couple of chapters? or the next one? Mhmm :P Okay okay, you're going to be able to take a peek on Levi's perspective in the next one ~v~ Stay tuned!
-CrimsonHazelEyes/Snowberry