I don't own SnK

"This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something."

― Elizabeth Gilbert

~Chapter Twenty-Two: Lies and Betrayal~

There was something weirdly wrong about the current situation and Hanji knew that the moment she heard Levi's cracking voice over the phone. It happened three days ago, she was on the way home after she stayed up late at the college hospital again and Levi, who only called her like once a month, suddenly showed interest in having a conversation with her. It was either the situation was gravely serious, which she assumed was something along the lines of murder or an accident (like the time the Short-stack sent a panic voice call the moment he found his goldfish dead and Hanji laughed so hard because the mid-twenty-year-old sounded genuinely shocked), or the earth and the moon had stopped spinning altogether. Which one was worse, she didn't know.

"H-Hey, Glasses." His voice sounded hoarse and since Hanji didn't have a filter in her mouth, she spewed out the first thought that came to mind.

"Have you been crying?" she asked, not even trying to omit the very surprised tone in her voice. She parked her car outside her apartment and carried the books from the backseat, feeling grateful that she didn't manage to chuck away the only Bluetooth device that she had.

There was silence on the end of the line and Hanji was about to get her phone out to check if Levi indeed had already hung up on her, but a whisper of words had prevented her from doing so.

"Are you up for drinking tonight?" he asked. The redhead was already throwing away her stuff in the living room before jogging back towards her car.

"You know I'm always up for any hangouts, Pipsqueak," she said, not being able to refuse herself the chance to call Levi names right now. The lack of retort made her grin falter and the distinguishable sound of Levi ending the phone had wiped off any mirth on her face.

Something was terribly wrong, and she had a feeling that she had to be there by her friend's side right now or she might regret it later.

It turned out that Levi was already on his umpteenth glass of vodka and Hanji gasped dramatically at the strewn clothes in the living room, because that was just not Levi. That short temper of his was something not to mess with and Hanji had learned over the years not to tap that angry state of mind, because one of the things that Levi hated was being disorganized and messy. But here she was, standing in a less-than-meticulous surrounding, something that Levi shouldn't be comfortable with since the guy was obviously a clean freak. And one more thing that her mind grasped was the fact that the raven was having shots, which he deemed less elegant than wine. Levi never drunk himself to stupor before, much least even thought about it, so it really made Hanji flabbergasted.

"Oh… Glasses." Levi appeared from the mini-kitchen and Hanji swallowed the bile down her throat. The Short-stack was disheveled and she could bet right now that he wasn't even aware that his clothes were damped. It was raining a while ago—but it had already stopped! What could've happened that Levi didn't even bother to change his clothes?

"Levi, do you want to get sick?" she asked in a motherly tone. If there was something that she was good at, it was being multiple persons at a time; she could be someone's best friend, worst enemy, a consultant, or a mother when she was needed to be one. She wanted to understand people and her friends, but for the first time she didn't know what to do with this Levi.

"Oh," Levi simply remarked as if he had never noticed that his clothes were slightly wet until now. Hanji made a beeline to the kitchen and purposely slapped her hand on her friend's forehead, maybe to snap him out of his trance, to check his temperature. It didn't seem like he had a fever but he could very well be sending himself to the hospital if he remained acting like this.

"What the hell happened, Levi?" she asked, voice was rising a bit higher because she was now fully concerned about what was going on. It was rare to see Levi like this, and now that she thought about it, this might be the first time that she'd seen him like a wreck he was now. She couldn't even comprehend that such situation could even apply to this meticulous, intimidating man.

"I…," he started and stopped to let out a hiccup. His eyes were downcast and the shadows under them looked more bluish-black than anything she'd ever seen before. His face looked pale, which she assumed was because he stayed out in the rain earlier, and his shoulders were slumped. Gone with the Levi who stood tall and proud. What the hell was this human being who was staggering like a train wreck right now?

"I don't even—hic—know what happened," he finished and Hanji could've sworn that she saw some glistening shit in his eyes and that terrified her. It was Levi who was supposed to be strong and determined and set on what he always did—and yet, those silver eyes were empty, as if the life had been taken away from them. It made her remember of that conversation she had with him months ago.

"What's your favorite thing about Eren Jaeger?"

Levi was slow in responding but when he looked up to her, those gray eyes were shining and Hanji felt a tight squeezing in her heart because she was happy for him and she knew—she knew that those eyes held so much adoration and love even before Levi uttered those words to her.

"His whole presence that lights up my world."

"Hey," she called out slowly, dragging the word out and forcing her lips to tug upward. She wished that it was just a joke and before she knew it, she let go of the question that had been plaguing her on the way here. "Don't tell me you and Eren broke up."

Crash.

The sound of the glass breaking made her flinch but along that sound came with the realization that she probably stabbed Levi's heart with the broken shards when she voiced out his name. Oh, no.

She couldn't help it; she wrapped her arms around this short man whose pride was as big as the fucking sun. But the same man was now sobbing uncontrollably in her arms. She ought to check if he got hurt when the shot glass was dropped but she knew that what Levi needed right now was someone who would listen to him.

"I didn't know what I did wrong." "He was and he still is my everything." "Have I wronged him?" "Am I not good enough?"

It broke her heart to hear him utter those questions and she couldn't help but wail with him and continue crying even after Levi had already calmed down, even when he went stiff in her arms. To hear him doubt himself like that was something that she just couldn't take and it made her cry harder. She remembered how much of a grumpyass he was the day they met at the police station. Erwin was the one who introduced them to each other and they grew to be comfortable with each other's presence, and Hanji truly appreciated that Levi was the one with the crude humor that could go well with her eccentricity—or so what she heard what others said about her personality in the university. They did everything together and they were almost inseparable but Hanji knew that Farlan and Isabel had roles much closer to Levi's heart. He told them about his story the second year they knew each other, and Hanji was fascinated at how could such a well-cultured man have an interesting background like that. She appreciated that Levi was strong enough to overcome the challenges presented in his life in the past; otherwise, she wouldn't have met this small man with a big heart.

Hanji just wished that Levi could also overcome this obstacle, maybe not right now, but surely later. However, there was also that silent part of her heart that didn't believe that Eren Jaeger, the innocent kid who managed to break Levi's barriers down like they were merely pieces of paper in a short amount of time, could do that to the man that he loved so much. She could tell that Eren had more substance than that; he wasn't the type of a person to give up because of trivial reasons. The moment she saw that look of determination on his face when he was gazing at his artwork, Hanji knew that the kid had the most fight inside him than anyone else, no matter what the situation was. And there was that fact that the kid was very much in love with Levi; she could see the same shine in his eyes whenever he talked about his lover.

But she also didn't want to give Levi false hope.

That was why she stayed with his best friend as they talked about life and love and pain on the couch. All the while, the muted TV was providing light to them, letting Hanji become aware of the stains of tears on Levi's face.

She didn't know what time it was when the silence just stretched for a while. She might have fallen asleep, she didn't know, but the sight of Levi's closed eyes greeted her and the slow light filtering through the glass windows was the first indication that it would be close to morning now. Wow, she needed to sleep for an entire day to function later on.

"Did you see Erwin?" Levi suddenly asked and she jumped out of shock for she thought that the raven was already sleeping.

"What the hell, Levi?! You're awake the entire time?" There was no reply to that so she continued, "You didn't hear about Erwin?"

"What about him?" Levi's voice was neutral but Hanji didn't miss the slight indication of non-nonchalance there. She was certain that Levi cared more than that, especially because Erwin was one of his very close friends here.

But that was odd.

Hanji looked at him seriously, pushing back her glasses to the bridge of her nose. She was trying to figure out if Levi was really lying or not because there was no way that such news didn't go through him.

"Erwin is in the hospital," she told him carefully, scrutinizing any action of her friend as if she was afraid that Levi would fly away any moment now. "It was rough because his work got entangled with a messy bunch of people. You seriously didn't know about this?"

Levi's eyes seemed to have a bit of a life now, but it was only surprise, which confirmed that he really didn't have any knowledge of this incident. Hanji scrunched up her eyebrows when Levi muttered a "what".

It happened for a flitting moment. There was an absolute surprise on the raven's face before it changed to a look of concentration, bringing out more color to his face and some lightness in his eyes, and the sharp anger and panic cut through his previous expression. It made Hanji panic a bit too, but it was more of fearsome and thrilling to watch because it was rare for Levi to show emotions like this. However, there was that ominous feeling pressing down her back that made her think of Eren. Something was going on, and at the same time when her memory of the 'bakery incident' came back to her, Levi suddenly had a burst out.

"We need to see Erwin. Is he okay? Is he alive?"

"I-I'm pretty sure he is," Hanji answered, a bit startled because she was shaken out of her thoughts.

"How did he get injured again?" Levi asked, eyes were narrowed as if he was ready to force out the information out of her. It made her raise an eyebrow to him.

"A bullet wound in his arm. I heard that it was pretty bad but he'll live," she told him. The light in the room spread and Levi's ferocious look suddenly made everything seem scary. Why was he giving off that look now? Did he somehow come across something she hadn't deciphered yet?

Hanji wouldn't find out until later.

She ought to be impressed really. How could a silent and very scary man communicate with another intimidating and short-tempered one without causing sparks to fly in the room? Instead, it looked like Erwin and Levi was having one whole conversation for the two of them alone and Hanji wasn't following until she heard Eren's name.

"Erwin, several months ago, I caught you talking to Eren alone. Somewhere around that time, Mr. Zackly told me to drop the Reiss case. Do any of these ring any bell to you?" She heard Levi ask but it was more like a statement for he sounded so sure about what he was saying and she could have sworn that the blonde's already pale face went whiter than a ghost. Erwin then coughed as if to clear his throat and for the first time, the redhead finally spoke.

"Don't tell me… Eren's involved in your work, Erwin."

Those cerulean blue eyes snapped towards her like an eagle ready to snatch its prey from the river. When she first met him in her university, she was a bit intimidated by the man but she was more interested in getting to know him because she could tell from a mile away that his scary aura was something like a mechanism to drive people away. Then a month later, she found out that he liked wearing speedo when he was swimming and she thought that this guy would probably shove my ass out of the window if I shave his eyebrows. But the same man who she made fun of all the time had a troubled look on his face now and God knew how she wished that she wasn't right on the bull's eye all the time.

"I met Mike. Mike Zacharius and he's Eren's boss at the bakery. There was that one time when I saw him leave Eren's apartment and he was injured," Levi went on. Hanji looked away from them, shifting on her seat next to the hospital bed and drifting her eyes towards the window. It was too bright and too nice out for this conversation.

"Levi," Erwin spoke for the first time and Hanji bit her lower lip to prevent herself from spouting some nonsense because she didn't think that some humor would be appreciated right now. "I'm assuming that… that kid did something stupid again?" The blonde sounded as if he was a father and it made her wonder just how close had Erwin and Eren become for him to sound protective and endearing right now.

"Oi, oi. Don't tell me you adopted Eren while he was out of Levi's sight," she couldn't help but joke.

Erwin gave her a wistful smile before all seriousness took place on those blue eyes. "Eren is strong. He's willing to sacrifice everything to protect those who are important to him. That's why—"

"He left me."

It felt like those words had sucked all air in the room and Hanji felt suffocated. She bent her head downwards and clasped her hands in front of her. No matter how many times had Levi cried and poured his feelings out, the betrayal, the loss, and the pain were still there present in his voice and in those silver eyes. She just wished that Eren would come right now and erase the doubt and self-hatred from Levi because the one thing that she wanted the most was for everyone to be happy, for Levi and Eren to be happy.

"Levi—"

"That little shit has been doing something dangerous behind my back, right?" Levi asked, tone was suddenly rising and just in time when Hanji lifted her head, her mouth opened and her eyes widened when she saw Levi grabbing Erwin's collar tightly.

"LEVI!" She shouted and attempted to pull the raven away, but Erwin's big hand grasped her wrist and put it down. She looked at him but he was looking at Levi with so much regret in his eyes.

"You…! You knew how much Eren meant to me and yet, you let him put his life in danger! What is he dealing with right now, Erwin?! Tell me!" Levi yelled out, bringing his closed fist in the air as if he was ready to strike Erwin and Hanji wanted to stop any more bloodshed from happening. The sight of her friends fighting like this was too much; it felt too real.

"Stop it, both of you! Levi, don't you dare hit Erwin and Erwin, don't provoke Levi!" She screamed at them and she briefly wondered if the nurses would come into the room any moment now because they were obviously not quiet at all. However, she couldn't bring herself to care right now at all.

Suddenly, Erwin grasped Levi's wrists as if the latter wasn't struggling to punch the blonde in the face a second ago. Hanji halted, too, because there was no mistaking it now. There were tears threatening to spill from those blue eyes as they concentrated on Levi almost accusingly.

"I've been trying to help Eren for five years now, Levi! Mike and I have been protecting him! You don't know anything (Levi flinched visibly at that). That kid has been fighting a long and bloody fight on his own and we're keeping him alive," Erwin stopped on that note with a calmer voice than how he initially burst out.

"What…" Levi muttered, eyes were going wide in shock and lips were opening like a fish. Hanji couldn't believe that Levi was really losing his composure now after years of knowing him. "What do you mean?"

Erwin closed his eyes and pulled back his good arm, the one with no blue sling. Levi was rigid as a rod and Hanji couldn't imagine what turmoil must he be going through right now. The atmosphere was too thick and she could feel her sweat sticking to her forehead. Erwin then opened his mouth and words spilled to their ears.

"Eren is trying to find out who murdered his mother."

"What…"

"HUH?!"

There was a collective gasp from both Hanji and Levi and their eyes went big like saucers, which she would've found comical, given a different circumstance.

"What the hell do you mean?" Levi beat her to that question, something that was becoming a trend now.

Erwin looked at them solemnly and simply told them, "Ask Eren yourself. I shouldn't be saying this, really. I broke my promise to that kid now."

"Promise…?" Levi asked incredulously. He fixated a glare on Erwin who didn't even budge for he was most likely immune to Levi's prick of a personality. "You promised Eren that you would cover him? You promised him that you wouldn't tell me anything?!" he shouted his last question and the blonde merely looked at him as if the answer was obvious.

"I promised that I would protect you. Mike and I swore that we would help him protect you and his friends," Erwin told him in an exasperated tone.

See? Hanji wanted to cry. Eren would never hurt Levi like that without a good reason. And that's some reason to break up with him. How could that kid even think about other people when he's the one who's probably struggling the most right now?

"Why would you—"

"Because he loves you, Levi." There was a painful breath being let out, rattling like fragile china. "He's willing to sacrifice his past in order to be with you. If you believed even for a second that you didn't mean anything to Eren, then I would gladly beat you to pulp right now so I could put some sense into that head of yours."

It was the first time that Hanji heard Erwin talk like a brute and she smiled because she knew that it was his way of showing that he cared.

"I'll help you do that," she offered Erwin and smirked at Levi. "I think you really should be going right now, Pipsqueak."

Levi lifted his head slightly that indicated that he was listening to them. He had his hands clenched on his sides and Hanji knew that he needed one more push.

"He'll be gone again before you knew it, you know. I thought he's your everything?" she prodded. Those silver eyes met hers and the scowl that was so familiar was finally back on that crude mouth.

"Don't call me Pipsqueak, you goddamned four-eyes," Levi retorted and he turned his sharp gaze on Erwin. Hanji noticed that the light in those gray eyes had finally returned and it made her smile grow bigger. "You better be thankful that you're injured right now or I'll be the one to pummel your ass."

"Whatever you say, Ackerman," Erwin said back, a smile dangling on his lips.

Hanji almost missed it but she knew that she heard it right.

"Well, t-thanks, you guys," Levi said so softly, his cheeks were tinted pink as he turned from them.

"Hell yeah!" Hanji laughed boisterously and she helped herself in saying, "After you sort out everything, you better give Eren a mind-blowing make-up sex!"

A smirk was sent to them and Levi was gone. Being a dark knight in a shining armor must be a taxing job, but he would get his prince in the end, ay?

Levi ignored it. He ignored the painful throb in his chest and the way that his eyes stung—what Erwin told him was resounding in his head like a broken stereo. He didn't know how to react or how to feel anymore; there was only a mix of rampaging emotions inside his ribcage right now that was threatening to be let out. He ought to feel hopeful and loved because Eren didn't really leave him, but he felt a little betrayed. Eren had been lying about this important matter for months now (Levi gripped the steering wheel even tighter at the thought of the bakery incident), and he felt like Eren never actually let him into his life at all. He felt disappointed and hurt—because Eren didn't trust him enough.

His mother was murdered? How? When? Why would he be hiding this from me?

Those questions ran inside his head only to be countered with a dead-end wall because he got nothing. He could only think damn Erwin for not telling me everything. He knew that he could only get some answers from a certain person and he was willing to go through anything to reach his destination.

Levi pushed the door open, finding that there was a line of people in front of the counter. It was already getting dark and he figured that he really should get onto his business in this bakery before it could get really late to look for Eren. His heart gave a squeeze at the thought of the green-eyed brat.

"Eh, is that Shortie?" He heard someone say and before he could pinpoint whose voice did it belong to, a sight of the familiar freckled-faced woman greeted him. She was already in her casual clothes and the raven figured that she was just about to get out.

"Where's Mike?" he asked her.

She raised an eyebrow and remarked, "Why would you be looking for Mike instead of Eren? Don't tell me you got bored of him?"

That sparked something in his nerves but he realized that this woman was as blunt as someone could get. Before he could think of lashing out to Eren's friend, a short blonde woman came into his field of vision.

"Ymir!" Her voice sounded scolding and she turned to Levi with an apologetic expression on her face while the woman named Ymir merely scratched her nose. "I'm sorry if she's being rude (Levi had to bite his tongue from following a retort), she's just always like that but she doesn't mean harm."

He tapped his foot impatiently; he didn't really have time to stand around like this when he should be going to that messy brunet of his right now. He repeated his question to the nicer girl, "Do you know where is the owner of the bakery right now?"

Her face lit up, probably thinking that Levi had already forgiven the rudeness of that Ymir, and she answered, "Mike is out today but he'll come back tomorrow. Right, Ymir?"

The dark-skinned woman sighed and looked at Levi. "Yeah. He said that he has some business to take care of."

He narrowed his eyes at that, already formulating a guess of what could the baker be doing behind the scenes at that moment. He briefly heard the girls bid goodbye to 'Hitch,' the cashier.

"Aren't you supposed to be going home now, Krista?" He heard Ymir ask.

The blonde smiled sheepishly and said, "I really would rather stay out right now."

Ymir laughed at that and put an arm around Krista's shoulders as they walked away from Levi. "Then, let's go to an arcade!"

There was that sting again. He couldn't help but think that that should be him and Eren right now.

That brat better be ready for me.

He did plan to look for Eren after he spent time in trying to find Mike but that ended up in vain. He phoned Erwin and the damn blonde didn't tell him anything because of some procedure that they needed to follow—some FBI shit. Levi wanted to curse Erwin because secrecy was something he really needed right now. Not. He was already done with all the lies and with all these secrets, but most of all he was tired of thinking of how could he possibly find Eren in the middle of the night in the fucking city.

This day couldn't get worse.

Oh, how wrong he was.

He hit his brake when he spotted a familiar mop of brunet coming out from an area between the buildings. There were honks from behind him and he merely cursed, "Fuck you if you think I'm letting that brat go." He was about to drive around to chase after Eren but the sight of another man coming out from the alley made his eyes widen. His adrenaline kicked in, as if this was a life-or-death situation and it probably was—if something were to happen to his Eren, he didn't know if he would be able to forgive himself. He finally drove and he silently prayed that there would be no cars around the block because getting stuck in traffic would be bad. As in bad, like he would totally leave his car in the middle of the road and run after Eren.

It looked like his prayer was answered because he was able to maneuver around with speed that was allowed on this kind of road. He knew that this would be the place where Eren would come to, based on where he was running earlier. Levi remembered that he purposely put a baseball bat inside his trunk in case of emergency, so that was what he got out when he left the car. What he didn't expect was for a certain face to come in sight, too. Ah, am I seeing things or the horseface is with Eren?

He saw Eren halted in his track and Levi's eyes fell upon those green ones. The throbbing in his chest was gone, but there was that loud beating like drums being struck really hard and it was making him weak on his knees. He gripped the bat in his hand and Eren's eyes never stray away from his, it was as if the brat couldn't believe that Levi had manifested right in front of him. Levi knew because he was feeling that way too. It had been already three days since the last time he saw Eren, and that was when he pulled away from Levi—when Eren left him in the beach, in the rain. He wasn't asking for sympathy but the way he saw the brat's eyes water, he knew that the brunet was thinking of the same thing. Of how painful it was. If Levi knew that it would ache this much, then he would've prepared himself more. But that would be a lie now, wouldn't it? After he found out that Eren was the one who needed him the most right now, there was already no thoughts of turning back from this—from this love that sprouted from one strange encounter. He thought that Fate had plans for them the moment they met each other, and Levi couldn't believe that he fell in love with this… college student who did amazing art, who had a habit of running in the morning when he couldn't fall back asleep, who liked getting coffee from the same shop that Levi always went to, who cared about his friends a lot—the one who loved Levi with all his heart.

And suddenly, he knew, he realized, that there was no way that he would get out of this even if he was given the choice to. He already fell this deep and hard for Eren damn Jaeger and the first thing that he would do would be to knock some sense to him, like what Erwin and Hanji did for him. He would tell him—

How could you think that I'm not strong enough to stand next to you?

And then Levi would definitely protect Eren with all he got.

But first thing first: he needed to get rid of that horseface standing too close to his Eren. Scratch that, the man with the bowler hat behind them first.

"Fucking duck, horseface," he yelled out before swinging the bat from behind him and taking aim. Damn, those lessons on handling a gun could really be useful right now. Though, the difference was that a bat could crack one head open.

Yeah, he really could use some aim right now, and probably make Eren fall in love with him all over again.

Because there's no way I'm letting you go, brat.

A/N: LOL how dare I cut the chapter there XD I hope that it alleviated some of your spirits, knowing that Levi is finally 'there' ya know XD saving his reckless selfless brat ;) stay tuned for the next one~ I promise you that there's DEFINITELY going to be a major Ereri moment!
-CrimsonHazelEyes/Snowberry