Hey sorry it took so long to update, been super busy with sports and haven't had time to write. Hope you enjoy it, sorry if there are errors I overlooked in it, didn't quite have time to reread and edit it a whole bunch so it might be kind of rough. Thank you so much for all of your suggestions and kind words! It makes my day! Anyways, here it goes...
(oh and I don't own anything criminal minds so please don't sue me)
Reid looked up from beneath the covers as a white coated, older man walked down the hallway, standing in front of his bed. "Yes?" He asked, wondering what the doctor had to say.
"We have been looking through your charts and have come upon a conclusion." the doctor paused. "I am sorry to say you will not be able to walk again."
Reids heart plummeted. Although he assumed this would be the case, hearing from the doctor made it all the more real. "Is there anything you can do?" He asked in a small voice, his mind still racing at the news he just received.
"There are some experimental treatments that have helped regain some mobility in a few patients in the past-" the doctor paused, "but with the severity of your injury it would most likely result in less mobility than you already. The procedure itself is very risky even with your young age and good health, if there were to be complications you would probably die. I highly recommend you do not go through with it, frankly, I am not even allowed to recommend it unless asked specifically."
"I want you to try, please." Reid choked out, the words coming out before even processing. What are you crazy? He said it could lead to losing more function than you already have, not to mention death if something were to go wrong! Yeah, but what would I do if I can't walk, be stuck behind a desk all day? I would rather die trying than give in to this future. Reid battled with himself in his head and by the time he snapped out of it the doctor had left. Good job genius boy, you couldn't even wait for his response before drifting off in your own little world.
Reid laid back on the pillows propped up, wishing he had a book to read to distract himself. He instead tried to distract himself by trying to move his legs. His brow furrowed and he bit his lip, no matter how hard Reid concentrated he couldn't even move them an inch. He slammed his head back onto the pillow and yelled out in frustration, not loud enough to disturb anyone, but still filled with angst. His eyelids scrunched together and bitter tears streamed out from between them. He pulled the covers over his head, wishing he hadn't taken his vest off, wishing he listen to his gut... wishing the bullet killed him.
ooo
"This is your fault!" Morgan yelled, pinning Hotch against the neutral colored wall. "It's your fault this happened, if we didn't have to take the unsub in alive Reid would be ok. This is all because of you." He pulsed with fury, the blame had to put on someone and after blaming himself, he pinned it on the closest person, Hotch.
"Morgan let it go, this is nobody's fault." Emily told him in a steady yet harsh tone. "Just let it go." Morgan's grip on Hotch's collar tightened then loosened slightly.
"And did you bring the unsub in alive?" Hotch asked Morgan, jaw clenched. Without waiting for an answer he continued. "No you didn't, you shot him. And now his partner is still out there, probably plotting some sort of revenge. So Agent Morgan, you are saying I didn't do my job well enough, would about you?" Hotch's voice was calm yet provoking, Morgan pushed him up against the wall tighter while he was talking and suddenly let go, storming out of the room.
Morgan walked through the hallway seething with an uncontainable anger. "Fuck this!" he yelled, leaning his head against the wall and punching it with his fist. Fuck all of this.
He did the only thing he knew would calm him down, Morgan took his phone out and called Garcia who was sitting in the waiting room he stormed out of.
She answered on the third ring. "What is it honey bunches of oats?" She asked sounding concerned with a touch of anger from his outburst.
"Can you meet me in the hall?" He asked, skipping the sweet nickname and feeling awkwardly vulnerable.
"Of course babe, I'll be right there."
Morgan watched as she walked down the hallway to where he was standing. Before she could say anything he blurted out, "Is this my fault? Did I not do my job well enough?"
"No, of course its not honey. This is nobody's fault." She soothed, oddly calm considering the situation. She pulled him into a hug. Morgan resisted at first but then gave into her embrace finding it comforting. "No go be a man and apologize to Hotch." She whispered into his ear, pulling away.
"Ok sweetness." He replied with a wink, trying to regain his masculinity. He walked in the waiting room to see Hotch watching him with cold eye. "Hotch, I'm sorry. I overreacted, I shouldn't have pinned you against the wall."
"I could have gotten out of it." Hotch defended in monotone, yet matter of fact way.
"Oh I bet you could have," Morgan replied with a chuckle.
ooo
Hotch rolled his eyes, accepting the agent's apology. "I'm going to go ask if we can see Reid yet." He walked over to front desk, he looked the secretary in the eyes and asked, "Can we see him now."
She silently groaned in frustration, they were not going to leave her alone until she let them see their co worker or whatever he was. "Let me see." She gave in. She tapped on the phone and quietly talked to the doctor on the other end of the line. "The doctor said he's stable and you guys can see him, just don't startle him or anything. He's had a rough night." She clicked on the computer a few times, "He's in room 308 now."
Hotch shook his head. Rough night was a complete understatement. It made him chuckle a little as he walked over to the team to tell them the news.
As he strode over, Gideon stood up. Hotch motioned with his hand and a slight head tilt for them to follow him. Penelope quickly stood up and clutched her colorful purse, following the boss.
Hotch, looked back at Emily. She was still sitting, her face was tensed up and it seemed she was torn on whether she was ready to see Reid. "You coming?" He asked.
"Yeah. Just give me a second." She slowly stood up and trailed behind the rest of the team on the way to the elevator.
They stood and waited for the metal doors to open, Derek pushed the button repeatedly as if it would speed up the arrival of the elevator. Penelope grabbed his forearm, silently hinting that it wouldn't make a difference. Out of all the team, Gideon seemed the calmest and most collected. He stood patiently with a neutral expression on his face as if this was nothing more than sitting on a park bench in the afternoon sun. His calming presence soothed the rest of the team as they walked in the elevator and ascended upwards towards the third floor.
*Ding* The elevators doors opened, Hotch walked out first, a few paces behind followed Morgan. Gideon held the door open with his arm politely, JJ smiled a little and slowly walked out of the elevator. Emily took her time and stepped out a few seconds after JJ, Gideon nodded at her and lurked behind the group.
They stood outside the open door of room 308 as if waiting for a signal to go in. Morgan stood rigidly as if he was about to kick down the door of a serial killer's residence. The team just stood in silence, awkward tension filling the spaces of air between them. Morgan finally took in a deep breath and stepped into the clean looking hospital room. The rest of the team waited outside, not wanting to startle Spencer if he were to wake up abruptly.
The walls were painted white, not a off white or homely cream color but the kind of white found on printer paper. In the middle of the room was a grey framed hospital bed where Spencer was asleep. He looked so small and frail, his thin body in the middle of the mussed up covers. He took a seat in the plastic covered chair by the bed and sat forward, examining the fellow agent. All the tubes and lines and the heart moniter caught him off guard. He was expecting him to be asleep, to somehow be more pale than usual, but he wasn't expecting for Spencer to be poked and prodded at like a voodoo doll. Spencer started to stir a little. He opened his eyes, blinking a few times.
ooo
"Glad you could join us." Morgan chuckled goodnaturedly, trying to put the other man at ease.
"Oh, hey." Spencer groggily replied, "Why are you in here?"
"I came to see you pretty boy, the rest of the team is out in the hall, didn't wanna to startle you."
"They can come in." Spencer tried to sit up a little and become a little more host-like so he wouldn't be impolite. He secretly wanted to avoid the rest of the team seeing him like this, especially the girls. He was not used to being taken care of or showing vulnerability and it made him feel uncomfortable. He rubbed at his eyes to somehow get rid of some of the fatigue clouding his mind.
"Heya! How are you doing?" Penelope asked as she walked in, plastering a wide smile to her face. Spencer saw through it, she looked exhausted. He felt a little guilty when he saw the dark circles under all of their eyes but he decided to play along.
"I'm alright, how are you?" He quietly responded.
"Sweetie how are you really doing?" She asked again, this time her voice lacking the cheerful mask. Before he could answer, the rest of the team came in.
"Hey Spence. How are you?" JJ asked sympathetically, grabbing his hand. Why is everyone asking me how I am doing? He thought. I'm fine, they should get some sleep, it's not like I'll leave. He spaced out, thinking of books he read featuring hospital escapees, unaware of his surroundings while in his mind.
A low voice snapped him out of his fantasy. "You still there kid?" Gideon asked. Spencer looked around confused, Gideon was now the only one in the room.
"Where did everyone go?" He asked, concerned something happened.
"You spaced out for a while kid, the doctors came in and said only one person could be in here at a time."
"Oh, ok." Spencer whispered, relieved it would be less overwhelming the next time he had visitors, big groups made him nervous, especially when he was in this condition.
"There's something I have to tell you. No matter how bad it feels, how hard it seems, you will get through this. Do you understand?" Gideon said firmly.
"Yeah." Spencer said quietly. He didn't quite grasp the subject of him being ok after this though. Nothing felt like it would go back to normal, he didn't even know how he would get in his apartment when he got out of the hospital. Stairs were out of the question and there was no elevator because it was such an old building. Spencer kept his mouth closed about these thoughts, he didn't want a lecture about not letting things stop him at the moment. Instead he just said, "I'm tired, do you mind if I go to sleep?"
"No of course not kiddo, sleep well."
Spencer didn't fall asleep right away, he laid in the hospital bed with his eyes closed asking questions he did not have the answers to.