A/N- there's some not so nice stuff in this chapter

Chapter Nine

Now/Then

Elena slept on the flight to Edge, thanks to the Valium she'd stolen from the hospital in Junon. It took about three hours to get there, so she'd gone business class, not wanting to be crammed into an economy seat for any extended length of time. With a wry smile, she remembered travelling with Shinra- always the best of the best for the Turks. The newest choppers, the comfiest planes, the fastest cars. Rude and Tseng were both gadget freaks and Elena could remember hours of listening to them discuss suspension and velocity, and other fascinating things that she never would be interested in. When it got particularly boring, she would sleep on Reno's bony shoulder, always waking with a sore cheek. She sighed. She never slept better than when Reno was there...

She had just one bag with her. Unlike most women, Elena travelled light, and all she'd bought with her was a change of clothes. If the worst came to the worst, she could borrow things off her older sister. They were about the same size, though Elena was rather taller than Rosalind. Elena had other things on her mind, anyway.

It was cold in Edge. Much colder than Midgar had ever been, but then Midgar was permanently filled with smog and pollution. No, here it was cool, and always slightly dim, as though the sun didn't want to come near anymore. Elena stepped out of the airport, ignoring the honking taxis who all waned to take this obviously affluent women somewhere. Where she wanted to be was not far, certainly within walking distance. She could see it from here as she stood on the street, the imposing glass domes, and granite posts, the sign, not much different from the old days, only it was simpler now. The Shinra Electric Power Company was now just Neo-Shinra, it's logo Meteor being burnt up by the Lifestream, a symbol that distanced them from the Shinra of old. Neo Shinra made a lot of it's ties to AVALANCHE, the fact that one of Shinra's main officials had fought alongside them in the final battle against Sephiroth. Elena felt a shiver run down her spine. New Shinra, sure... but what we did...

xoxoxoxoxo

The children didn't scream when Reno and Elena came in. Perhaps they were too tired? Or maybe they thought if they were well behaved, quiet, then they would be spared

They wouldn't be. Elena knew that. Reno did too. They had guns in their pockets, enough bullets for every little face in the room. 'A humanitarian act,' that was what Rufus was calling it. These were the people injured in Meteorfall, the ones for whom there wasn't enough supplies, the ones who were suffering, who had been using up the funds of the city for the last two years and who weren't geting any better. 'It's not fair on them,' Rufus had told the two, gently. 'They can't recover. This is the only way for them to find peace...'

The men had been disposed of by Rude. There were less of them; it only took forty minutes to get rid of them all. Rude had been stone faced as ever when he'd emerged, never letting on the pain it must have caused him. It had to have hurt him, right? thought Elena, desperately. Because if it hadn't hurt him, then...

Tseng had killed the women, the biggest group. It had taken hours, and the screams had filled the building, echoing around. It sounded like hell. Tseng had come out, and been instantly, violently sick, and then gone straight back to normal, because he was a good employee and because, Elena feared, he didn't have a heart. This was the man who had shrugged, looked bored, even laughed as the Sector Seven Plate fell, killing god only knew how many, after all. Elena felt ill when she looked at him, but then he'd caught her eye, and she'd seen it in him. He had a heart all right- one that was being shattered ever more violently, each day he stayed at Shinra. Why doesn't he leave? Elena wondered. The same reason she didn't. These people were her family, sick and twisted though they were.

She stared around the room, then at Reno. Her eyes pleaded with him, but she knew there was no use. Reno didn't go against orders, did he? And to the guy who dropped the Sector Seven Plate, this was small potatoes. She swallowed hard as he ordered the children into lines, facing the walls. She watched him, his jaw set, hands not even shaking, as he lifted the gun and shot the first victim, a little girl with a broken leg. The other children became to scream and cry. Reno licked his lips, braced his shoulders, shot again. He's been inside me, though Elena, gazing at Reno. He's seen every part of me, touched every part of me, done things to me that make me blush to think of them...

'Lena! Go to the other end,' he snapped. There was a fleck of blood on his cheek.

And I don't know him at all...

Elena lifted her gun, trying to detach herself from the situation, even as her bullet ripped through the kid's skull. They were trained killers. The children would feel no pain. But Reno and Elena themselves would never recover. Elena knew that she would fall asleep to the anguished cries, the heartbroken sobs. They would be as much a part of her as her blonde hair, or her brown eyes, or the star shaped birthmark on the inside of her thigh, that Reno had discovered for her. Even if no-one ever knew what happened to these people, that it was her that had killed them, she would know.

But she would never have to do it again.

The following day she left Edge, she thought for good. She didn't say goodbye to anyone, as much as it hurt her. Reno, Tseng, Rude, Rosalind, Shinra... She swore she would never look back, that she would do everything she possibly could, so that one day she could think of herself as Elena again, and not The Woman Who Helped in The Purges. Even if it meant never seeing her friends again.

She didn't let herself cry, not even when she was alone in a crappy hotel room in Junon that only had one pillow, and no bulbs in the lamps. She didn't deserve tears, the cathartic effect they had. She didn't even cry when she realised she felt worse about never seeing Reno again than she did about killing the children.

xoxoxoxoxox

She couldn't do it. She couldn't go back. Looking at the streets, children screaming and laughing, playing and being young and alive... She couldn't do it.

She went straight into the first bar she came across, ordering a double vodka, neat.

'Elena?'

She looked at the barmaid, eyes widening in shock. 'T,Tifa?'

The brunette woman smiled at her, looking surprised too. 'It's been a while, huh?'

Elena nodded, swallowing her drink quickly. 'You want me to go, I take it?'

Tifa laughed slightly. ' "As long as you're payin', I've no problem with you stayin.'" That's my motto with the other Turks.'

'You and Rude...'

She giggled. 'You've stayed up to date with the gossip, I see.'

'I'm surprised you've stayed together so long,' remarked Elena.

Tifa poured them both a shot. 'It's been hard,' she said, candidly. 'He's very honest with me.'

Elena raised an eyebrow. 'Oh?'

'He told me... what you all did.'

'Oh.' Her voice was very small. 'Yeah, I guess that would be a pretty big thing to keep from someone.'

The barmaid nodded. 'Yeah,' she said drily. 'It would be.'

'You forgave him though?'

'It took a while. A long while. But...' Tifa shrugged. 'What you all did was terrible. Disgusting. Despicable. But... to not forgive people their weaknesses... well. It's not much better, is it?'

Elena stared at Tifa. 'You... you mean that?'

Tifa nodded. 'With all my heart. People are weak, Elena. You're weak, I'm weak, Cloud, Rude and Tseng are weak. But we learn. And when we learn, we get stronger.' She shruged, smiling slightly. 'I love Rude,' she said, blushing. She watched Elena, carefully. 'Like you love Reno... and he loves you.'

Elena looked at her, shocked. 'How'd you know?'

She grinned. 'Rude tells me things. Plus, it was pretty obvious. The way you looked at him... What he said to you in the tunnel that time... It was kinda sweet.'

'In the tunnel...' Elena frowned. 'He said... 'If we can save our lives...''

Tifa smiled. 'Yeah.. that always kinda stuck with me, however much you guys annoyed us,' she said, teasingly.

'Tifa... what do you think he meant by that?'

She blinked. 'Well, that if the two of you could survive, then you could finally be together, right? I mean, Rude told me how tough it was for you, after Tseng and Rufus got injured. I always figured he meant you'd finally get your chance.'

Elena nodded slowly. 'You're... right,' she whispered, voice filled with wonder. 'He... wanted to be with me...' She laughed suddenly, then clapped her hand to her mouth, because the sound was so foreign to her. She threw some gil down on the counter. 'I'll see you later, okay?'

Tifa laughed. 'It's good to see you again, Elena.'

The streets were quieter when she went outside. It was getting dark. The children were going home, their moms were cooking them dinner, their dads were getting home from work. She stood for a moment, Tifa's words running through her head. Forgiveness, weaknesschance

Not everyone was like Tifa, she knew that. In fact, most people weren't like her. She possesed an unusually kind, loving heart, and in retrospect, Elena wasn't that surprised that she'd forgiven them. It didn't mean that everyone would feel the same, in fact she was pretty sure they wouldn't. Elena had thought she'd never be able to forgive herself, or her friends either, but if even just one person could look her in the eye, knowing what she'd done...

And Reno... Oh, Reno. The weakest of them all, she knew that. In the tunnel, he'd said to her 'You were a great Turk, Elena.' And she'd been so angry at him, because it sounded like he was giving up, being weak again... But for once, he was being strong! 'If we can save our lives...'

I can be strong too, thought Elena. I can... forgive Reno.

A/N- a bit fluffy at the end lol, but of course, it's never that easy lol. The next two chappies are both flashbacks, and then the one after that is the last one! Dun dun dun... Anywho, in the next chapter, the Turks head to Wutai, and Tseng gets skewered by Sephiroth. After that, Meteor presses down on Midgar... what were the Turks thinking when it seemed as though the world would end? Please review XD