It's not often that I'm inspired by artwork, but while I was working on the guys' conversation I couldn't help but think of this comic page written and illustrated by KBJones, found on her deviantart account: art/Megamind-Fights-Back-264271036. With her kind permission, I've used her version of the keep-away game, remembered so nostalgically by Metro Man, and rather less fondly by Megamind.

Amahl and Tyra, the Pakistani couple who owned the cafe, brightened when they saw Metro Man, but their faces sobered at the sight of Megamind, standing there with pained dignity, covered in blood and the hero's cape. For the Defender of the city, they were willing to close the cafe and let Megamind clean up in the restroom.

It took two dozen paper towels for Megamind to get the blood sponged off. One forearm was swollen to almost twice its size, compliments of a well-thrown half brick that had sent the de-gun spinning out of his grip.

That was when they'd nearly overwhelmed him. Somehow, by vicious use of elbow and fist (the one arm being temporarily numb and useless), knees, feet, and, he was fairly certain, his teeth at one point, he'd managed to break free, dash over to a startled shopkeeper, and tear the broom from his hands.

Then had come the running portion of the program. He jinked and dodged through the alleys, but when he realized he was about to be trapped in a dead end, he'd paused long enough to brace the broom against a wall and break it in half with his heel. Shoving the now-tingling arm through the handle of a garbage can lid, he was ready for the onslaught. It didn't take long before he was forced to start clubbing...

Bile rose in the back of his throat and he held onto the sink until the wave of dizziness and the horror of the memory passed.

The phrase 'Beating them off with a stick' would never have innocent connotations again.

Metro Man's voice sounded very far away. "You all right?"

"Mind your own business," Megamind muttered, but without heat. Taking a semi-deep breath, he examined the swollen arm, carefully opening and closing his fingers. The hand was functional, so the bones weren't broken, but it hurt like hell.

Watering down another paper towel he dabbed gingerly at the gash above his eyebrow. He cast an irritated glance at the hero leaning in the doorway with his arms crossed.

"Do you have to watch me every second?" Megamind said. The gash stung and he winced. "How about a little privacy?"

"I'm not leaving you alone in here. You probably thought of ten different ways to escape."

Megamind tossed the bloodied towels into the trash can. "Only three. Feeling rather poorly at the moment."

He studied his reflection. The swellings and lumps and bruises made a mess of his astonishing good looks. The eyebrow gash was already beginning to close, thanks to his advanced healing abilities. It was a good thing he didn't scar easily.

There wasn't so much blood on his torso, mainly bruising. He straightened his shoulders and groaned at the sharp twinges that ran through his abdomen. At least his uncontrollable shaking had stopped, but he put the stupid white cape on again anyway because most of his shirt had been ripped off.

Amahl pushed a broom across the floor while Tyra wiped off the counter. They eyed him warily. The 'Closed' sign hung in the window.

By mutual silent agreement, Megamind and Metro Man sat in the back, well away from the windows. Tyra put a tray with two cups down and retreated. Megamind hunched over the table and listlessly stirred a spoon into the marshmallows on the hot chocolate.

Metro Man took a sip of coffee. "So what happened to Minion? I'm kinda surprised he wasn't there to help you out."

Megamind straightened his arms and pushed back from the table. "I knew it," he growled. So this was the reason Metro Mahn was being so friendly. "Is this your 'good cop' routine? You think I'm in a vulnerable state of mind, is that it? Prying into my secrets, buddying up to me, and I'll be oh-so-grateful that I'll..."

Metro Man held up his hand. "Whoa, whoa! I didn't ask where he was hiding. I just wondered. You usually got about fifty brainbots hovering around, too. I didn't see any of them either."

Megamind's lip curled. "Trying to find out the patrol schedules of my brainbots? Nice try, hero, I'm on to your little game." He pointed an accusing finger. "You'll have to do better than that to get me to spill the beans."

Metro Man shrugged. "Okay, Mr. Paranoid."

"Better leave the name-calling to the experts."

For a time there was only the sound of drinks being sipped and the clink of silverware getting shelved in the kitchen.

Megamind tapped a boot against the floor, and lifted and lowered the spoon into the melting marshmallow sludge. "Minion was most likely unaware of my predicament," he finally said. "No cameras nearby, no brainbots to inform him of trouble. And clearly no report of it over the police radio," he added with a growl, thinking of those two cops who'd seen what was happening but done nothing.

It was no secret that he and Minion tapped into the police broadband regularly, so he had no qualms about mentioning it to Metro Jerk. "Minion had orders...well, it's none of your business what orders."

With capture inevitable, he'd ordered Minion to flee the area. It was so much easier busting out of prison with Minion on the outside.

Besides that, he worried excessively whenever Minion was captured, for fear that some bonehead official would order his loyal henchfish to be put to sleep. Many people still did not accept him as a sentient being, or at least were willing to ignore the fact long enough to put him down.

All of the brainbots on the zeppelin had been either damaged or destroyed, and there simply hadn't been any others within audial range. He knew the patrols of all of his brainbots throughout the city and had known that there weren't any in his immediate area, but he shouted for them anyway as the mob closed in, on the off-chance that a lone brainbot or two might have been around. Sometimes a few brainbots would wander away from their squads, if they spotted something that he'd specifically ordered them to look out for. And they had healthy levels of curiosity, so they even sometimes wandered off on their own.

Even one brainbot could have made all the difference back there. He could have flown away with it, or it could have covered his retreat.

"Aren't you going to finish that?" Metro Man asked, watching Megamind poking at his cup.

"Don't feel like it," he grumbled.

"Aw, it's over now. Cheer up."

"Easy for you to say. The most that you ever have to worry about from a crazed mob is getting your perfect hair messed up."

"Hey, I can't help it if I'm invulnerable. Maybe you shouldn't have set that flag on fire."

"I'm within my rights to protest in any way I wish," Megamind said indignantly.

"Setting a giant flag on fire by shooting rockets at it? Yelling, 'How's this for rockets' red glare!'? What kind of political statement is that? You defending your right to be obnoxious?"

"It's not like there's anything illegal about it," he said with a sniff. "No law against it."

"It's the Fourth of July, Megamind. Didn't you think that maybe people might get a little extra worked up?"

Megamind picked up the cup and blew on it before taking a sip. "It's not my flag. I'm probably not even a citizen."

"Don't you even know?" Metro Man said incredulously.

Megamind pressed his lips together. That had slipped out. "Oh, I suppose the warden has some sort of paper which clarifies my exact status in this great nation of ours," he said carelessly. "But I'm fairly sure that I'm not, technically, an American citizen."

"But you have to be at least aware that a lot of people put a lot of store in the flag as a symbol. They respect it, and they want everyone to respect it."

Metro Man slurped noisily. "You know why I was so late coming to get you?"

"Distracted by a row of mirrors?"

"Because I was untangling Roxanne from that sticky net. You know. The net that kept her from falling into your death trap."

Megamind crushed the remaining marshmallow sludge with the spoon, studiously avoiding Metro Man's gaze. "Oh, so that's what saved her. That net," he said, thinking fast, "that net is vital to the operation of the Claws of Death. To prevent her from getting away. Though I'm sure the construction of my brilliant device is beyond your understanding," he added.

"What's really weird," the hero continued, as if he hadn't heard a word Megamind said, "is that the net's invisible. That must be pretty important too, huh? So the machine would work? Kinda hard to see how, though. But it sure made those mechanical claws look a lot more dangerous than they really were. Made me think."

"So it's a first for you, then," Megamind muttered. He took another careful sip of the hot chocolate, though it made his mouth sting. The inside of one cheek was raw from where he'd bitten himself.

"Thinking about those other death traps."

"Careful, you'll hurt yourself with all that thinking."

"The scythes," Metro Man said, so loudly the table shook. "The pits with the spikes, the lasers. That giant hammer." Megamind winced as Metro Man's booming voice made the bones in his skull grate together.

"Ah, yes, my Ham-her," Megamind said with an ee-vil smile. His head throbbed. Hopefully he managed to turn the grimace of pain into a smile of ee-vil.

"Yeah, that was nasty, what if she got crushed? But I remember looking at it after, and there was this big titanium rod, right in the middle of the thing that... you know, in the tower thingy." He moved his hands up and down.

"The scaffolding."

"Yeah, that, anyway, that rod would have kept the hammer from falling all the way down. I think Roxanne might've bumped her head if she stood up too quick, but other than that, well..." He shrugged his shoulders. "It seemed kinda funny at the time, but I didn't remember it until today, when I saw Roxanne in that safety net."

"Clearly part of the structure collapsed when you attacked, causing one of the connective rods to fall in the Ham-her's path."

Metro Man gave him a shrewd look, the corner of his mouth turning up into a faint smirk. Megamind glared back.

What the hell was Captain Wonderpants looking at him like that for? With that stupid smug all-knowing smile. So he finally noticed the failsafes that Megamind installed to protect Roxanne from injury, big deal.

Imbecile. It was painful watching the muscle-bound hero try to be clever. He thinks he's figured something out. Well, he hasn't.

It was so easy to be some ham-fisted run-of-the-mill mass murderer. There was no style to it. Certainly not Megamind's style. No one ever thought about how hard it was not to kill. Metro Man had no idea how difficult it was to coordinate a really good bombing incident so that the immediate populace would have time to vacate the area. Sometimes Megamind practically had to put up blinking neon signs saying "Run This Way."

Of course he put failsafes in all his death traps. He had no quarrel with Roxanne. Indeed, he quite enjoyed quarreling with her.

I've got news for you, my super-powered compadre. My only target is you, and you alone. And once you are dead, nothing will stop me from everything I desire. Roxanne's not the target. I wouldn't harm a hair on her head.

Metro Man was the first to break eye contact, but Megamind's sense of victory was short-lived. "You know the great thing about Roxanne?"

Alarm jolted briefly through Megamind's veins. Okay, now, he knew for a fact that Metro Mahn wasn't psychic. He scolded himself for jumping, leaning back in the chair again to cover the movement. "Oh just kill me now," he muttered, putting a hand over his eyes. Now he'll start telling me about how she's the best thing that ever happened to him, or she gives meaning to his life, or his heart skips a beat at the sight of her, or how he longs to be in her presence even if she spits in his face...oh wait...

"It's that she really cares. And she stands up against injustice. A lot of people don't really do that, you know. Even me. There've been times when I've been kinda lazy, and didn't do something she thought I should have, and she really let me have it! She's told me, 'Wayne, what's the point of having these powers if you don't use them to help others?' She's got this knack for seeing through baloney, and in spite of everything, she sees the good in everybody. She understands people, but it irritates her when they take the easy way out. Especially powerful people. She's made me a better man. I sometimes think I can see the good in others, too."

"That is so heart-warming, I may throw up." Megamind scowled. The smug, knowing smile on Metro Man's face didn't waver. "What?" he snapped.

"Eh, it's nothing," Metro Man said with a shrug. He waved at Amahl. "Say, could I get a refill? Thanks."

As Amahl refilled Metro Man's cup he gave Megamind the wary, nervous smile of a man who has remembered that a certain super-villain always escapes and might find time to return to a cafe to have words with a rude owner. "Would you like another?" he asked, nodding at Megamind's cooling drink.

Megamind flicked a hand, dismissing him. Amahl bustled back to the kitchen.

"Wouldn't have killed you to be polite, you know," said Metro Man, adding creamer to the cup. "How about, no thanks, I'm good."

Megamind snorted. "I am never 'good.' The citizenry knows how the boot fits," he said, nodding towards the kitchen where the owners pretended to be busy. "They know upon which side their bread is buttered. You may think you protect the city, but night always falls, hero, and then I rule."

"Why do you always have to put on this evil act? Why can't you be nice to folks for a change?"

"I resent the fact that you describe it as an act," Megamind snapped. "I have a reputation to maintain. I can't go around being nice to people."

"I never thought it would come to this."

"Come to what?"

"This! All of this." Metro Man waved his white-gloved hands out. "This feud. The battle robots, the mechanical sharks, the laser-guided homing pigeons, magnetized boulders... I mean, sure, you were kind of hyper in school, but sheesh. I never guessed one of my old playmates would grow up to be Metro City's biggest threat. We had some fun times, didn't we?"

Megamind cocked his head. "Playmates. Fun times. Are we talking about the same shool, here? The Lil' Red Shoolhouse, hotbed of torment and affliction?"

Metro Man chuckled. "What are you talkin' about? Don't you remember dodge ball?"

Megamind felt his lip twitch. "Vividly."

A nostalgic look passed over Metro Man's face. "And that time we played keep-away?"

Megamind's brows slowly knotted together. He searched the hero's face for signs of malice or mockery, or possibly even regret, but found only a sort of friendly indignation. "Are you...talking about the time you stole Minion from me and threw him around like a hacky-sack?"

"I only borrowed him a minute. It was just a game." Metro Man looked surprised at the accusation. "You remember."

A slow burn of anger started somewhere in his midsection. Blood pounded in his ears. "I'm fairly certain that Minion remembers that one even better than I do."

"Well, I sure remember how it ended," Metro Man said, giving him a scolding grin. He shook his finger. "You threw mud on me, and I ended up having to go home early to wash up."

"Yes. And Minion and I ended up in the corner. Again."

Metro Man chuckled and lifted his coffee cup. "Man, you were a rascal."

"A rascal. A rascal?" Megamind's voice echoed off the ceiling as he stood up. The chair scraped against the floor as he got to his feet.

Or started to. A sharp stab of pain in his lower ribs doubled him over and he fell back into the chair with a grunt.

Metro Man stared at him intently for a moment. "Got some bad bruises there. I don't think anything's broken, though. 'Course, you'll probably want to get a real x-ray."

"Stop...doing that," Megamind wheezed. When he raised his head again Metro Man was still looking at him with concern.

"Believe it or not, Wayne, you never cease to amaze me," he said hoarsely.

"Well, thanks, little buddy, I guess there's hope for..."

"That wasn't a compliment. Has any impromptu bout of 'keep-away' ever been just a friendly game? Or merely a cruel exercise instigated for the sole purpose of creating frustration and an insurmountable feeling of helplessness? As in, making the other person feel lower than dirt?"

"Hey, I think you're getting a little too upset there," Metro Man said, glancing toward the kitchen where the cafe owners were looking out. He raised his hands in a calming gesture. "Why don't you take a minute to..."

"Don't you know you could have hurt him? Even killed him? Flinging him around like that! You're not supposed to shake fish. Throwing mud at your fat head was the only way to get you to stop. Because even then it was obvious your hair was precious to you beyond measure. I think we've uncovered a new super-power here, Metro Mahn. Self-hypnosis! The ability to overlay your own reality over the past so thoroughly that you actually believe it. You go ahead and remember the good old days on your own, Metro Mahn. I'd rather face that mob again rather than relive even one minute of it."

Which was not entirely true, as he fervently hoped to never wind up on the wrong end of a mob again, but it sounded good. In any case he was done listening to Metro Mahn's drivel. Lurching to his feet again, but more carefully, he pulled the heavy cape off his shoulders and flung it into another chair. "I'm done. Take me to jail."

"Calm down, little buddy." Wayne held up his hands, palm out. "I'm not sure you're remembering things right. You got it all wrong."

Even seated Wayne was almost eye to eye, but Megamind was still able to look down his nose at him. "I said I'm finished."

Metro Man half rose to his feet. "I think if we sit down we can talk about..."

Megamind knocked over his cup. Hot chocolate spattered onto the cape. "Oh no. Look at that. Ruined. Tsk, tsk. Don't billionaires know about stain-guard?"

Metro Man's heroic brows furrowed and his massive hands clenched into fists. "That was pathetic. You know I'm just going to get another one."

Megamind gave him a cold look. "No act of ee-vil is too petty. Well, if you're not going to do your duty, I guess I can take my leave." With that he strode toward the back door.

A heavy hand fell on his shoulder. "Hold it right there, villain."

"Finally, he remembers his line," Megamind said, sneering. "And that's super-villain to you, fool."

He refused to say another word on the way back to the prison.

Seething, Metro Man flew back to his hideout.

Boy, you try to be nice to Megamind, all you get is craziness. There was just no reasoning with a guy like that.

Metro Man shook his head. He thought that if he reminded Megamind of happier times, back when they were kids, that would help him, somehow. Help him turn over a new leaf, or at least sort of prod him in that direction. Get him thinking that he didn't have to be evil.

Flying into the Lil' Red Schoolhouse, he paused, gazing fondly around the little desks, chairs, and the old artwork tacked to the walls. He breathed in the scent of ancient crayons. This school held some of his happiest memories, back before he understood what it meant to be a hero with all the responsibilities that went with the job, which is why he'd chosen it to hide his fortress. Megamind wasn't the only one who needed a lair.

He flew down the tunnel. After he'd shut the door to his home, he flicked on the lights. White and gold gleamed from every corner, from the paintings and display cases. Getting out one of his acoustic guitars he floated onto the sofa and strummed for a while, running through the familiar chords of Elvis's "You Ain't Nothin' But a Hound Dog" to warm up.

Megamind had it all wrong. He obviously had some kind of mental issue, if that's how he remembered what happened at school. Probably twisted things up in his head until they fit his preconceived reality, that was it. Which is exactly what he accused me of doing!

Guess it was hopeless, trying to get through to Megamind. If he'd rather believe he was misunderstood and picked on as a kid, well, there was nothing Wayne could do about it.

He'd seen Minion get into all kinds of scrapes and fights over the years! Minion couldn't have gotten hurt getting tossed around a little.

You're not supposed to shake fish.

Of course...there was a difference between doing something yourself, like, say, jumping out of a fishbowl, and getting grabbed and shaken around uncontrollably...

Another memory surfaced, as unwelcome as a bubble of swamp gas. Teacher, the freak threw mud at me!

Metro Man winced. Did I really say that?

Feeling restless, he put the guitar aside and went over to one of spacious closets, and dug through a few layers of awards, trophies, and diplomas (he had several honorary diplomas from various colleges) until he found the scrapbooks his mom had lovingly pieced together over the years.

Full of magazine articles and newspaper clippings, he dug deeper until he found one with scuffed edges and crackling pages.

It was here somewhere, in the old photos. He flipped through it until he found the class photo from first grade.

There he was, surrounded by a pack of classmates, his arms around a couple of his best friends. Funny, he didn't remember their names anymore. One of them was...Greg or something. He glanced at the back but only the year was written there.

Off to the side was Blue. So far off to the side he was almost out of the picture, a faint worried smile on his face. And his eyes wide, his forehead slightly wrinkled, as if he wasn't sure he was even supposed to be there.

"Crab nuggets," he muttered. "I was a jerk."

Wayne's got some pretty big blinders. And yet...for all his obtuseness, here's something that a few other fans have pointed out: Metro Man was the first to recognize Megamind's potential as a hero, even before Roxanne does. How did that happen? I suspect that Roxanne had an influence on him, and Metro Man began to have his doubts about the whole hero/villain business even before the Death Ray encounter (though he did have some time to really think about his own place in the world while he was in his superspeed state during aforesaid Death Ray encounter). I imagine it was several episodes of introspection that led to his conclusion, and this was one of them.

This might be the end of this story...unless I think of a decent epilogue.