Chapter Seven:
Slade was sitting at one of the desks at the Foundry looking at the blank computer screen. He was thinking of who he was going to convince to rejoin Oliver next, when Roy sat in the seat next to him.
"What are you doing?" Roy asked curiously. Slade looked at him and decided to share his thoughts.
"Thinking of who to convince to join us next. Thea and Malcolm or Lance. Thea would be easiest, and I can just beat Malcolm to a bloody pulp and drag him here afterwards. But I killed her mother. Not that I can really remember it. The Mirakiru messed with so many of my memories, but the cure. It's left holes. And killing Moira is one of them. I don't regret the majority of the deaths I've caused, but hers I do, and I can't even remember it. Can't remember what I was thinking, how I felt, the look on her face as she took her final breath. And that makes it so much harder; to mourn someone you only have a handful of memories of. I was never much for caring before the Mirakiru either; the kid was the only one I really openly cared for. Shado I loved, but I never showed it." He finished in barely a whisper.
"The Mirakiru messed me up too. I killed a cop. Couldn't remember it for months after I was cured. Then I started dreaming about killing someone. Couldn't see who for weeks, and then my dreams showed me killing Sara. I confessed to the team and everything. It was just so vivid, like a memory. And that was when they told me how I killed him. And I can sort of remember it with him there. But the dream of me killing Sara, it seems so much more real than the memory of me killing the cop. Everything from when I was affected by the Mirakiru just doesn't seem real. The rage for one, I have memories of it, but I just can't imagine ever being that angry. It was like every single bit of me was enraged. I was only affected for months, I can't even imagine what it would have been like to be under its effect for years."
Slade gave a nod and sighed, running his hands through his hair. He had forgotten the kid had been injected. He had been so busy trying to make things right with Oliver and Felicity, and fixing Oliver's team for him that he had forgotten that his actions had lead to making this kids life hell too. He had made the kid a murderer.
"It's not your fault you know." Roy said casually. "I have first hand knowledge of how much the Mirakiru controls a person. I'm probably the only one on the Team that understood and was happy when Oliver rang and said he was bringing you here, and you were joining the team. Even when you were evil, I liked you better than Malcolm." He finished with a cheeky grin. That quickly vanished when Slade clenched his hands into fists at the mention of Malcolm.
"I would gladly kill him. I was watching when the storm hit. I had seen the boat sail past and thought it was connected to Fyers. So I stayed in the cave on the highest part of Lian Yu and watched it. And I watched when it exploded. All the time I had spent in the Navy and Special Forces allows me to recognize explosives, and that boat was packed to the brim with them. It was a wonder anyone survived. But I saw the life boat. It was too far away for me to do anything though. But I waited in that cave. Waited for rescue parties to arrive. Whether it be from Fyers if the boat was connected to him or from the outside world if it was just an innocent recreation boat. Nothing came. The kid made it to the Island eventually and met up with Yao Fei, but I still kept watch, with a flare hoping for a way home. It never came. The kid and I met, and every opportunity he had he would look at this photo of Laurel, his last connection with his past. He eventually learnt to climb onto the top of the Fuselage so he could see the ocean. He was convinced for a long time that they were simply searching other parts of the ocean and would make it here soon. He even accused Fyers once of keeping the search parties away from Lian Yu, away from finding him. But I saw Fyers face as he laughed. He had nothing to do with it. Then the kid tells me everything the other day. Malcolm and his mother sabotaged the boat. They put the explosives on it. They were the ones content to declare them dead and not search for survivors. Every single bad thing that has happened to the kid, and frankly to me since that boat exploded is entirely in their hands. It is probably why I can't bring myself to regret killing Moira, and having the urge to kill Malcolm. He is responsible for so many bad things, he is the type of person I would have been sent on a mission to get rid of, yet here the kid is saying that for Thea's sake we need to keep him alive."
Slade shook his head then, making a frustrated sound. To him, Malcolm was as much of an evil as Ra's was; yet Oliver didn't treat him as such. Felicity hated Malcolm's gut; he knew that and agreed with everything he thought about the man too.
"I'll help you talk to Thea. She knows about me having the Mirakiru and maybe if I explain it to her she will understand easier. And if you so happen to feel the need to punch Malcolm a few times, I can provide an alibi. Only if you give me one too." Roy said with a small grin. He stood and offered his hand to Slade to help him stand. Slade took it and they left the Foundry together to go to the loft and talk to Thea.