Chapter Twelve

Now

I find myself standing in front of the Neo Shinra Building at nine o'clock in the morning. It's a cold day, of course, but for once this doesn't get me down. What is getting me down, is that for the last three days my nerve has failed me completely the second I get here, paralysing fear stopping me from getting within three feet of the entrance. Today has to be different, or else I can see myself getting on the next plane back to Junon and never coming back, living by myself, bitter and lonely forever.

I draw up every ounce of strength I have within me, most of it coming from an image of Reno that is never far from my consciousness. I am amazed at the changes within myself since I spoke to Tifa. Though I haven't yet been able to face returning to Shinra, I am aware that I am more confident, happier... I even feel healthier, crazy though it seems. I can also picture Tseng, Rude, Reno, even Rufus, without feeling as though I am going to be sick. The sound of a child laughing no longer conjures up images of death and misery, but of hope- what I did, what we did, was terrible, and we can never truly make up for it. But we can try and try and try, and maybe someday it'll be, well, not enough. But close enough.

And if I walk through these doors today, I can see Reno again.

I feel sick as I press my hands to the glass, pushing forward. But I take a deep breath.

Don't be so weak Elena. You're a Turk.

I go to the desk. The woman behind it is unfamiliar, clearly not someone who was employed by the original Shinra. She looks about eighteen years old, skinny and tall, thick black hair framing a heart shaped face. I feel a stab of dislike for this young woman, wondering if Reno's ever made a move on her. She looks like his type- sharp features, long limbs. She's all angles, not a hint of softness to her. Reno always claimed not to like softness in women, which always made me wonder why he'd slept with me, why he always seemed to have an attraction to me.

I glare at her. 'I need to see Reno,' I tell her, brash and authoritative.

She raises a slim eyebrow, then shrugs. 'You got clearance?' Her accent is thick- Costan I think.

'No,' I admit. 'He'll wanna see me.'

'If you haven't got clearance, there's nothing I can do,' she shrugs, turning back to her computer screen.

'Tell him Elena's here,' I demand.

She looks up at me, clearly bored. 'I can make you an appointment with...' She flicks through a book. 'Gabriel. He's the public liaison officer for the Turks.'

Public liaison officer? Jesus. I start to wonder if I really do want to come back this world. One of the things that attracted me to being a Turk was the lack of contact with the public. Rufus is serious about keeping up a good image, I realise.

She's growing impatient, I can tell. I shake my head. 'No. I need to see Reno.'

She looks at me pityingly. 'Honey, if he hasn't called you back, he's not gonna. Take the hint and go home, mmkay?'

My eyes narrow, not just at her suggestion, but at the fact that Reno is clearly still a notorious womaniser. 'Listen, you jumped up little bitch...'

I am cut off by a familiar voice, calling my name from behind me. I spin round, finding myself face to face with Reeve.

'Elena. I never expected to see you again.' His voice is not warm, but he doesn't sound angry to see me.

'Reeve.' I nod at him. 'I... I need to see Reno.'

He stares at me for a minute, then nods. 'Of course.' He goes to the desk. 'Raffia, can you get a visitors pass for Elena, please?' He doesn't want me back, that much is clear, but I don't give a shit what he thinks. I need to see Reno...

Raffia rolls her eyes but nods. 'Of course, Mr Tuesti,' she said, her voice dripping honey. I hate her.

He comes back to me a second later, hands me a lanyard with VISITOR stamped on it, then starts to walk to the elevators. I realise I am meant to follow.

These elevators are not glass, and as the doors smack shut, I feel a sudden wave of claustrophobia. I remember what Reno had said about Reeve wanting to put me on trial- everyone knows how Shinra trials end. The defendant is found guilty, then is never heard of again, the world forgetting about them as their corpse rots in the laboratories. I am nervous, stuck in this tiny space with him, but I remind myself that I am a good bit younger than him, maybe not stronger, but quicker and certainly more devious. I was a Turk, after all.

I am a Turk.

We are quiet for ten or so floors, then he turns to me. 'Why are you back, Elena?'

I shrug. 'It felt like the right time to be here again.'

'I could have had you killed, you know,' says Reeve smoothly. Involuntarily, I shiver.

'Why didn't you?'

'Because Reno would have killed me.'

I smile. It's true, he would have.

'Tseng and Rude also threatened to quit if I did.' There is a pause. 'I envy you you know, Elena.'

I look at him, surprised. 'You... envy me?'

He doesn't reply for a moment. When he does, his voice is flat, as though he's trying to keep the emotion out. 'I never fit in at Shinra. I didn't care about money, just about the people. I know,' he smiles slightly. 'Sounds like bullshit, doesn't it? But it's true.' He sighs. 'When I made Cait... when I entered AVALANCHE... I found something I'd never known before. People who shared my beliefs, my desires, nearly exactly. It was perfect, but,' he sighs again. I shift uncomfortably. 'I never belonged there, not really. ' He looks at me, just for a second. 'I used to see the camaraderie you had, so similar to AVALANCHE, something I never had, something I'll probably never have.' He shrugs. 'Even after you left, Elena, they still would risk everything for you.'

I look at the ground. 'I know,' I say, softly.

We reach the floor on which the Turks are situated, and step out of the elevator. There is an awkward silence. Reeve shrugs. 'I assume they're in their office,' he says.

We have nothing else to say to each other, but I feel as though I should say something.

'Thank you.'

He smiles, very slightly. 'It's nothing.'

He goes back into the elevator with a nod. Then the doors shut, and I'm alone in this corridor. I stand for a second, just breathing, and I can't believe how familiar this seems. Just the way the place smells- like coffee, and gunpowder and cologne. I can also smell the perfume Rosalind always wears, the one that the biggest star of Loveless made, that I usually hate, but right now I feel as though I love it.

I walk towards the office. I can hear Tseng's voice, and I stop and listen to it. He's lost most of the Wutain: Midgarian is such a harsh accent that it'll cover nearly any other tone, but his voice still lilts somewhat, and there are certain words that he says that are unmistakably foreign. Rude is like that, to a certain extent. He grew up in Mideel, and mostly kept his accent, but he's spent so much time with Reno that he's picked up a fair amount of Midgar slang. As for Reno... well. He's Midgar, through and through: slang ridden, poor grammar, weird intonation. His voice is like a drawl, but it's surprisingly comforting. I could listen to him speak all day...

I can hear Tseng and Rude, and my sister as well, but I cannot hear Reno. Though Reeve said nothing when we were in the lift, a sudden panic hits me that Reno is not here, that I won't get to see him, that, that...

The door opens, and Rosalind squeals. 'Elena!'

Weird, she actually sounds happy to see me. I try and smile at her. 'Hey Rosalind.'

Tseng and Rude appear in the doorway and a genuine smile spreads across my face. They haven't changed at all, and I am so glad for this fact.

'Hey,' I say, softly.

I embrace all three in turn. When Tseng releases me, he instantly asks 'Elena, what are you doing here?'

'I...' I don't know how to explain it to them, so I don't even try. 'Where's Reno?' is all I can choke out.

A knowing look passes over Tseng's face. 'He's on the fire escape at the end of the corridor, sulking,' he tells me, smiling.

I nod. 'Okay.' I bite my lip, square my shoulders. 'Okay,' I repeat, firmer this time.

Rude is watching me. I feel self conscious. 'Are you back?' he asks.

I take a deep breath. 'I'm back.'

xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

He doesn't look up when the door opens, but he growls 'Rosalind, I swear to god, I actually hate you. Can't you give me five minutes peace?'

I smile. 'And why would I do that?'

His head jerks up, and he stares at me in disbelief. 'E,Elena?'

I look at him, drinking in his face. He looks thin, the scars on his face starkly evident. He never would tell me where he got them. I wonder if I'll ever be able to wheedle it out of him.

He scratches the side of his neck, anxiously. 'Elena...'

I love how he says my name. I nod at him.

'You came back?' His voice is filled with wonder.

'I... In the tunnel, the last time we saw AVALANCHE, you said to me "Elena, if we can save our lives..."' I swallowed hard. 'I hated you for that.'

His eyes widen in shock. 'Why?' He sounds stunned.

'I thought you were giving up,' I tell him. 'You didn't wanna fight, you didn't care about revenge... You said if. 'If we can save our lives.' And...' I shivered slightly. 'You didn't know why I stayed.'

Confusion shows in his eyes. 'Why you... Oh. You mean in Kalm?'

I nod. 'Why do you think I stayed, Reno?'

'I, I don't know. Loyalty?'

'To who?' I press, gently.

He opens his mouth to speak, then sighs, slumping slightly. 'I don't know,' he admits.

I smile at him. 'You, Reno. It was always you.'

'Elena...'

'If we can save our lives, maybe we'll finally get our chance.' I finish his sentence for him, and by the way he smiles, I know I've said it right. And it's funny, we've been apart for two years, there's so much we should be saying to each other, and yet we're just standing here, grinning like idiots. And then I realise- we have all the time we need, later. Because I'm sure as hell not going anywhere.

I virtually fling myself at Reno, kissing him as those my life will end if our lips aren't together. My arms are around his neck, and he's clinging to my waist and oh god, I'm such an idiot, because I could have had two years of this.

I pull away, to tell him I love him, or to beg him never to leave me, or something, I don't even know. I open my mouth. 'Reno...'

'Elena.' He's grinning, and he looks so adorable that I have to stroke his cheek, wondering at the fact that he's mine.

'I-'

He cuts me off. 'Elena, you talk too much!'

And then he pulls me to him, kissing me with such love, and it's a good thing he's holding me so tight, because I think my legs have stopped working. There are tears running down my cheeks, but I don't care, because I'm here. I'm really, really here.

The End

A/N- Yay for Reno/Elena love lol. Well there it is, all finished ) It was a little fluffy in the finish, but I think they deserved it lol. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, read or favorited 3 Big hugs to you all! One last review maybe? XD