If heaven's grief brings hell's rain
Then I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday
Oh, I want to teach you a lesson in the worst kind of way
Still I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday
Edward Cullen had made a mistake. There was no avoiding that now, especially while he was staring at the daunting manila folder on his desk. How stupid could one person be? Well, they say that love makes people do stupid things, but how could that be true, when the woman who held his heart was not the one he was married to?
He chuckled bitterly to himself. He had decided a long time ago, that he was an idiot; a terrible, ridiculous, ignorant fool. How many times had he told her that he would follow her to the moon and back? And in the end, he couldn't even find it in himself to follow her to New York City. A moron, he'd decided, that was what he was.
Once again, he looked down; he watched the folder that was his freedom, with fear. Could he really do it? Could he destroy his family, and become the son his parents were ashamed of? The ex that no one wanted to talk about?
God, he was pathetic. What was he doing to himself?
Before he could begin to bathe in self loathing over his mistakes, as he did a lot recently, his receptionist, Jessica's voice could be heard over his desk phone. Her nasally voice informed him of his wife's presence in the office. He sighed, but told Jessica to let her in anyway, as he was afraid of what she would do if she got angry.
Suddenly, Tanya was there, all fake breasts, and clown like make up. She couldn't see the file that was now covertly hidden under some complicated medical documents. He was sure that even if he put it right on top, she still wouldn't notice, after all, she'd have to really strain her neck to see over her giant plastic boobs.
Of course she tried to make a move on him, as that was the only reason she ever came to his place of work. She only came when she was bored at home, and their daughter, Elizabeth, was asleep. When she got close enough, she moved his rolling chair away from his desk, and moved to straddle him.
She was breathing heavily, the ugly pastel pink cardigan strained against her chest. She leaned in, her breasts pushed up against Edward's chest. Her overly plump lips, of which Edward was certain that they too, were fake, pressed against his neck. He'd have to wash the lip gloss off once she left.
"Tanya," he started, realizing that he had run out of time. This had to happen here and now, he had to end it. If not now, then when? When his daughter was in the room? "Tanya stop," When she didn't listen to him, he pushed her off of his lap, and straightened his shirt. He had no idea how she was able to undo the first six buttons so quickly.
His wife looked down at him dejectedly, with lust clouded eyes. She couldn't understand how Edward could possibly turn her down. It didn't make any sense at all. It wasn't as if she had made up their fairytale marriage. They were perfect together; they had the perfect life, and the most beautiful daughter. Elizabeth was the best of both of them. She had Tanya's clear blue eyes and high cheek bones. She had Edward's strangely unique bronze hair, his mouth and chin.
What was it that they could possibly be missing? Yes, their sex life had been a little off lately, but, they could fix that, right? They never fought, neither of them had ever thought of cheating, and with Edward's successful job as the head surgeon at the children's hospital, they didn't want for much. Their life was perfect. What was the problem?
"Tanya," Edward repeated, sighing. "This isn't," he started, running his hand through his hair nervously. He was about to ruin what most would call a pretty decent life, and he knew it. "This isn't working out."
Tanya froze, completely floored. This wasn't how the fairytales end! The prince never told Snow White to take a hike! Cinderella never got her glass high heal thrown back at her! What was happening to her life? This wasn't right.
"Four years," She muttered. "We've been married for four years, and you spring this on me now?" The broken, quiet sound of her voice made Edward flinch.
"It's not like that. I do care for you," he paused briefly when Tanya shot him an angry look. "But there's been something that I've been wanting, missing, that just doesn't exist with us. I want to find that again. And, I really, really want you to find that too."
Tanya couldn't take this anymore. Before she knew it, she exploded in a fit of emotion. "What if I already did?! What if this was my fairytale? How could you just decide that you don't want this anymore?"
"Because I realized that I-" He broke off for a moment, to collect his thoughts, and try to form a coherent sentence. "I realized that what I haven't been able to find with you, is the spark." He told her honestly.
"The spark?" She asked, unsure of what he meant. To her, everything felt like it belonged in a movie. She was married to the perfect guy, and had the perfect child. Each time they kissed was like they couldn't get enough of each other. The spark was definitely not missing.
"I found that once; I need to find that again."
"So what," she fumed, "You're leaving me, leaving our child, for someone else?"
"I'll always care about you, Tan," he started, more sure of himself. "And I'll always be there for Liz," he paused, standing up, and resting his hands on her waist. "I can't just stop being her father; just like I can't cut you out of my life. Yeah, maybe I am being a selfish bastard, but I can't pretend that I don't feel this way."
She stood there, watching him for a moment. It was as if the floor beneath her feet had opened up. It was that weightless feeling you get at the top of a rollercoaster, just as your stomach rolled, and then dropped to your toes. She knew that she was about to fall into that hole, and with each passing second, it was looking harder and harder to climb out of.
"I can't believe this," she muttered to herself. Before Edward could even attempt to console her, she looked up at him, her eyes connecting with his, took one long, deep breath, and slapped him across the face. "You're an asshole, Edward Cullen! I hope you- you never find that spark! I hope you die alone!" That should have hurt him, and he was positive that if he didn't know that it was over, if he didn't have that ominous folder on his desk, then her words would surely have crushed him.
As the sting faded from his cheek, Tanya yanked off her engagement ring and wedding band, the ones he had ordered from Tiffany's, not the ones his grandmother wore, those were meant for another. He flinched at the thought, as Tanya threw her diamonds to the floor. She was shouting about how he wasn't worth it anyways. Briefly, Edward wondered how quickly she would get over this.
When she was done with her screaming, she headed for the door. She didn't care if it was one in the afternoon, she wanted to get drunk. She wanted to get so drunk that she couldn't tell up from down, and maybe even went home with some strangers. Of course she realized a second later that her plans were impossible. Her bastard of a husband still had to work, and her baby was asleep at home. She hadn't meant to stay out long, and staying with Liz was the most important thing right now, especially if her father wouldn't be.
"Tanya," Edward started when she reached the door to his office. He might as well get it over with now. He reached over to his desk for the folder that wasn't nearly as scary now, and held it out for her. "I'd really appreciate if you could look these over, and sign them soon." He asked it like a question, his eyes pleading with her.
"Divorce papers?" she guessed angrily. Her icy blue eyes grew fiery once again. "How long have you had those exactly?"
Edward was unsure of what to say, but he figured that the truth would be better at this point. If Tanya ever caught him in a lie, married or not, he would be in trouble. "A few weeks," he muttered, afraid to meet her eyes again.
She snatched them up furiously, and stormed from the room.
And that was it. For all intents and purposes, Edward Cullen was a free and single man. He chuckled to himself humorlessly. He never actually thought he'd make it this far. In fact, he hadn't even wondered what he'd do with it yet. It was like the whole world was at his finger tips now and all he had to do was pick something.