A/N: Sorry for the lack of updates its just school has started up again for me. I hope to be able to update more real soon! Reviews always welcome! To my faithful reviewers your the best!

Learning to let go

He stood there silently. "So just like that it's over" He said with a sigh. "He loved you Pacey you know that" She told him. He nodded. "There's just a lot of stuff we didn't get to talk about and" he couldn't finish he was breaking. She put her arm on his back.

"Hey I know its hard now. But you know eventually you'll find peace you just have to start slowly" She said. He looked at her. "Your not going to tell me like everyone else that I'll get over it "He said.

"No because unlike those people I know that's pure crap. He's your father Pacey and unfortunately you won't get over this it'll stay with you forever. Just like it did when I lost my mother but eventually you have to let yourself grieve in order to heal. This is not something you just get over it takes time" she said.

He nodded. "Yeah, Thanks Joey" He said. "Come here" She said hugging him. "I'm glad you're here" He said softly. "Me too" She said with a smile. "Are you ready to go?" She said looking at him.

"Yeah" He said slowly starting to walk away she was walking next to him and he grabbed her hand. She smiled and kept going.

They all went back to Pacey's old house. Gretchen was with their mom. Doug was off in a corner taking some of the condolscences and Julie was standing there staring at Marissa who was interacting with a kid she didn't recognize.

She seemed happy. "His name's Ryan" Pacey said sneaking up next to her. "It looks like she's happy" She assumed judging from the site of her daughter. He looked at her grinning at Ryan. "That's because she is" He said.

"You know I didn't mean to screw up like that. I do love her" Julie said. He looked at her. "I know you do but she doesn't. It just takes time Jules" He said leaving her by herself.

She looked at Marissa again. Marissa met her eyes and she saw the look. The same scared alone look she saw that night that she sent her off to live with Pacey. She had to fix this.

Joey walked up to Pacey. "Can I get you anything?" She said. He smiled. "Yeah could you try and keep Julie from causing a scene" Pacey said kidding. "I think that's in your area of expertise" She said. "She said she loves Marissa" He said.

"So what did you say?" Joey said. "That she's telling the wrong person" He said. She smiled. "Let's hope she doesn't do enough damage to get you in another fist fight" She said. "Well Jimmy isn't here so that's a plus" Pacey said.

She laughed. He looked at her and thought about that night and smiled. She noticed him staring. "What?" She said. He continued to smile. "Nothing" He said. She looked at him. "I'm going to go find Dawson" She said. He nodded.

Ryan and Marissa were outside. "So when do you have to leave?" She said. "The flights for tomorrow afternoon but you know you'll be home soon" He said trying to cheer her up pulling on his tie that hung loosely around his neck.

"Yeah and then we can get back to life" She said kidding. "You okay?" He said. "I think for the first time in a long time I'm gonna be okay" She said with a smile. She kissed him. "Good" He said with a smile. She laughed.

"Marissa" Julie said breaking their moment. She turned and acknowledged her. It was a little uneasy. "Hi you must be Ryan" She said sticking out her hand. "Nice to meet you Mrs. Cooper" He said shaking her hand without a second thought.

"I heard a lot about you" Julie said seeming genuine to Ryan. "Really when the time that you didn't call me?" She said angry. Ryan looked at her. "Marissa" he said. "No don't protect her" Marissa said staring at him. "Ryan could you excuse us?" Julie said. He looked at Marissa to get a response. She nodded letting him know it was okay to go so he walked away.

"What do you want mom?" She said. "I want to talk to you. I want to see how you're doing? I want to know what's been going on in your life?" Julie said. She laughed insulted. "Really well you sure have a funny way of showing it" Marissa said with her arms crossed.

"Marissa I know I've done some things and I know I've hurt you but I do want to know what's going on with you? I do love you. I mean to be honest that's why I sent you to live with Pacey" she said.

"Yeah so you can get rid of me" Marissa said. "No. So you could have a better life one that you deserve and one that I couldn't give you" Julie said. Marissa looked at her. "I'm truly sorry Marissa. I just want you to talk to me" She said crying a little. Marissa was crying.

"You know what it's just not going to be that easy for you" Marissa said walking away. Julie grabbed her head. This was going to be harder then she thought watching Marissa walk away.

Ryan found her by the dock. "She has some nerve coming here and just expecting me to forgive her. It doesn't work that way" she said yelling feeling nothing but anger towards Julie. "I'm sorry" She said. "No don't be" He said.

She wiped the tears from her face. "I just want to move on and forget about all of it" She said.

"Then you know what you have to do in order to move on" He said looking at her. She nodded. "Yeah" She said quietly and hugged him. He kissed the top of her forehead and she smiled at him.

Pacey was checking in on his mom. She went upstairs to rest. He knocked. "Ma? Your awake" He said coming in and closing the door. "Yeah I was just going through some of your father's things" she said. "Pop was a bit of a junk collector wasn't he" He said laughing a little sitting next to her.

She smiled. "Yeah he was. Everything was important to him" She said. He nodded. "Even telling you how he feels" She said. He looked at her oddly. She got up and went over to the top drawer and pulled out an envelope and sat back down next to him.

"I found it last night with some of his things" She said handing it to him. He took it and looked at it. His name was scrolled across the front in scribbly handwriting that resembled his which could only mean his father wrote it.

That was the one thing they had in common their handwriting was so similar. "You're a good boy and you should be proud of the person that you are. I know I love you for it" She said. He smiled. "I love you too ma" He said hugging her.

"Now go on Joey's probably looking for you" She said. He smiled. "Joey huh?" Pacey said. "She's a wonderful woman Pacey I hope it works out for you" She said. He nodded. "Thanks ma" He said. "Now go on" She said. "I'll be back to check on you later" He said leaving.

After the guests had gone she looked for him. She figured he was upstairs. "Hey you disappeared" Joey said coming in. She noticed an envelope in his hands. He looked at her. She sat next to him.

"What's that?" She said. "Another surprise from my father" He said looking at her sadly. She nodded. "You going to read it?" She said. "I was debating whether or not too open it. He said. "What did you come up with?" She said.

He changed the subject. "My mother said she hopes it works out for us" He said. She looked at him. "You mean you and me" She said understanding him. "Yeah" he said looking at her. She looked down. "I should have called I know I should have I just he interrupted "I love you" He said looking into her eyes.

She was shocked she didn't expect that not like this. She smiled sadly. "Even after everything I did to you?" She said. "And everything you've done for me" He said nodding. She started to cry a little.

"I made a mistake I should have never left you behind" She said. "Mistakes can be fixed" He said. She looked at him he was being serious he leaned in and kissed her.

She rested her forehead on his and smiled. "I love you too" She said. He smiled. "Well you know I kind of figured you did" He said teasing. She laughed.

"Come on lets see what he had to say" She said grabbing his hand. "Here it goes" He said tearing open the envelope.

She found Julie on the porch later that night. "Sweetie" She said acknowledging Marissa. "Look I want to get over this and I want to put this all behind me. I don't want to live like this anymore" she said. Julie looked at her.

"Marissa you have to know that I never wanted you to be hurt" She said. "But that's just it I am. And you can't undo it with an apology. What happened to me I wouldn't wish on anyone and I didn't deserve it mom" Marissa said.

"I know" She said looking at her. "Do you? Do you know? Do you know how hard it's been for me? Did you know that it took months after I moved with Pacey for me to even talk about it with anyone else? No you didn't know any of it because you never tried to know" Marissa said.

"I know that Marissa" She said. "Okay so you're sorry and you never wanted me to get hurt. Is there anything else? Is there anything left for you to say to me?" She said looking her in the eye. "I love you and if you can't see past your hurt then it's my fault I guess" Julie said this time walking away from Marissa.

Marissa closed her eyes. She was alone. Summer came out. "Coop? You okay?" She said sitting next to her. "Yeah it's just stuff with my mother" Marissa said. "Didn't go so well?" Summer said, "Not really" She said.

"Hey you have me you know that right?" Summer said. She smiled. "Thanks Sum" Marissa said. "Sorry to break this up but Jen offered to give us a ride back to the house" Seth said. "That's okay" She said. "You gonna come Coop?" Summer said.

"No I think I'm gonna stay here tonight but you go ahead you have a flight in the afternoon and you probably want to get some rest" Marissa said. "You sure?" Seth said.

"Positive, you guys thanks for coming here your great friends" Marissa said. "Well Coop promise me that we'll see you tomorrow before we take off" She said.

"Of course we'll spend the morning together and of course I'm coming to drive you to the airport" Marissa said hugging her. "Okay night" Summer said. "Night Sum, Cohen" Marissa said. He waved good-bye. She watched them go and she went in the house.

Pacey was coming down the stairs. She looked at him. He looked like he had recently been crying. "So thank you" Pacey said. "For what?" Marissa said. "For giving pop the insight to write me that letter" He said.

She remembered and smiled. "Well if a person says such nice things they should hear it don't you think?" Marissa said. "Yeah so he compared you to me?" He said.

"Yeah but don't get a big head or anything. I know it's tough to follow my act" She said joking. He laughed. "I love you Marissa" He said. "I love you too" She said. He smiled.

"She does to you know" He said looking towards Julie sitting alone on the couch. She looked that way. "I know and if I want to get over this I'm going to have to make this right aren't I?" Marissa said.

"Afraid so kiddo?" He said. "Okay so here it goes" Marissa said walking towards her. He smiled and walked away. "I'm sorry about before." Marissa said. Julie nodded.

"I love you and I want what's best for you" She said. "I know that" Marissa said. "Ryan looks like a good kid" Julie said. She looked at her. "He's been great to me" Marissa said.

"Well you deserve that kind of love" She said. "I know it's not gonna be easy but we can try okay?" Marissa said. She smiled sadly. "Okay Marissa" She said hugging her. "I love you too mom" She whispered.