"Ah-hahahaha! Seriously? You're kidding."

Chekov frowned, nose scrunching adorably in consternation. "You promised not to laugh, Nyota!"

"Ah- ah-ha... Sorry, Pasha, sorry, I just... Sulu?"

"Zhere is nozhing vrong vith Lieutenant Sulu!" Chekov splayed back on Uhuras bed, pout already forming on the young Ensigns face. Uhura held her hands up in the human gesture of surrender.

"I never said there was anything wrong with Sulu. I just... are you sure?"

"I vant to marry him." Chekov said it with such conviction it made Uhura melt a little. Of course, he ruined it immediately. "Or at least get in his pants."

"Ew."

"Shut up."

"Why not just tell him?"

Chekov propped himself up on his elbows, looking aghast. "Nyota! I vork vith zhe man!"

"You work with me, too."

"Da, but I vork vith Sulu, I vork adjacent to you. Sulu is less zhan a metre avay ewery day, for eight hours. Ve literally rely on constant, smooth communication to keep zhe ship mowing."

"Moving, Pasha. Moving. Mowing means something else."

Chekov waved her off. "Vhatewer."

"Still, your big dumb crush can't help."

"I don't hawe a crush!" Chekov, if possible, looked even more scandalized. "I am an adult. I don't get crushes."

"Pasha, you're twenty-one."

"Tventy-two!"

"Fine, fine. Tell him all about your infatuation."

"Zhat is so much vorse."

"If you won't tell him, I will."

"Nyet, nyet, nyet!" Chekov shot up into a seated position, shaking his head vigorously. "Please, do not."

"Hmph. Then I guess you'd better hurry."

"I hate you."

"I know."

Chekov flashed her his puppy eyes. Uhura was familiar with the look. It hardly ever affected her anymore. "Please, Nyota. I vill get on my knees and beg. Please do not tell him."

"You have two solar weeks."

"Two veeks?! But zhat isn't fair!"

"One week."

Chekov huffed and crossed his arms, looking for all the universe like a pouty teenager. "Vhen did you get so mean? You vere so nice yesterday."

Uhura smiled, patting his knee. "Sorry, Pasha. Want me to paint your nails?"

Chekov made a face, considering. "Fine. But nozhing crazy."

"Aw, you're no fun." Uhura got up and rifled through her bedside drawer. "White?"

"Vhite," Chekov confirmed, spreading his hands on the bed.

"So, why Sulu?" Uhura shook up the bottle. "I mean, he's pretty, I suppose, and smart enough. But why Sulu?"

"He's brilliant. He's teaching me how to fence-"

"That way lie destruction," Nyota quipped, unscrewing the brush from the bottle.

"Shut up. And last night, I had the longest conwersation about astrophysics I've ever had vith anyvon. And unlike some people-" He glared pointedly "-he doesn't criticise my accent."

Uhura shrugged, applying the polish to Chekovs hands with smooth, even strokes. "I'm just trying to help. Hey, he gives you plants a lot, right?"

"In zhe two years ve hawe served togezher, he has giwen me a fern and a man-eating tentacle plant."

"Oh."

"Da." Chekov watched her paint his nails silently for a moment. "Do you zink Sulu vill like zem?"

"I'm sure he'll love them, Pasha." Uhura smiled reassuringly.

Chekov twisted his head to shake some of the fringe from his eyes. "Zhank you, Nyota."

"No problem, Pasha." She squeezed his arm, applying te last stroke of nail polish. "Don't touch anything until that dries." It was a frivolous precation, as the polish dried within seconds, but she said it anyways.

"Of course." Chekov chuckled lowly. "I came here for adwice, and you're sending me off vith nail warnish and and a deadline."

"You love me."

"God help me." Pavel kissed her cheek. "I hawe to get some sleep. Alpha shift tomorrow."

"Same. See you in the morning, Ensign."

"Night, Lieutenant." He paused by the door, hand hovering over the control pad. "Von veek? Really?"

Uhura threw a pillow at him.