Disclaimer: I don't own KnM, blah blah blah yadda yadda yadda...
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Chapter 10
"You're a member of the Himemiya family?"
Orihime winced and almost shook her head, but resisted the urge since she sat quite comfortably between Tsuki's legs, letting the dark-haired woman run her fingers through her unbound hair. As of yet Tsuki hadn't attempted to return to her wolf form, and Orihime treasured the time she spent as a human. She didn't know how long Tsuki had before she had to return to the forest, and she wanted every second she could get.
"Depends on what you mean by member," she said at last, closing her eyes and resting her cheek against Tsuki's knee. "The blood of the Himemiya family runs through my veins, yes, but I haven't actually mingled with them until about two years ago." She hesitated for a moment, then plunged on. "When my brother—his name is Isamu—and I were young, about five or so, my parents divorced. Isamu went with Father, and Mama took me. She eventually remarried when I was seven, and I became a Kannazuki by marriage. The man she married also had a child from a previous marriage…" She opened her eyes, tilting her head quickly to the side; following her gaze, Tsuki saw Sakura grooming the horses.
"Ah." The disguised black wolf nodded quietly. "I see." She ran her fingers through Orihime's hair again, quietly absorbing her scent. "So I take it Isamu is your twin?"
"Yes, but we don't look much alike, and sadly we aren't very close." Orihime closed her eyes again, soothed by Tsuki's touch. "We're working on it, though, which is better than nothing." Her lips curved. "His wife is pregnant. It's their first."
"Congratulations."
Silence fell after this, and Orihime slowly opened one eye to survey Tsuki quietly. The pink shell pendant the dark-haired woman wore around her neck gleamed faintly in the sunlight; Orihime had never seen her take it off, even when she was bathing. From what she recalled of their first meeting, the other woman had told her it was all she had left of her mother. But Tsuki was half wolf…
"Um… Tsuki-chan, may I ask… about your family?"
She felt it then; Tsuki's fingers stiffened and stilled in her hair, and a small tremor rippled through her body. After a moment, the half wolf regained control and blew out a long, ragged breath, but her hand stayed still. "Of course," she murmured, but her voice was shaking slightly.
Orihime opened both eyes, lifting one hand to rest it over Tsuki's. "If it's too hard…"
"No. It's been a few years." Tsuki cleared her throat. "And the only other person I've ever talked to about it was Rakuen, and that was only once. It probably won't hurt so much if I talk about it."
Orihime gave Tsuki's hand a gentle squeeze; Tsuki gazed over her head, focusing at some random tree, and began to speak, her voice soft.
"My father was a wolf, which is really… really stupid to bring up, since I figure you know I'm half wolf already."
"Your eyes and size give it away."
"Yeah. Yeah, I've been told." Tsuki gritted her teeth. God, this was hard. "I never met my mother—my birth mother—but I can assume she was either a dog or a human… probably a dog, most likely, since my father never liked humans." She shuddered briefly. "Half breeds aren't held especially high in the pack social ladder, and my father, from what I've been told, was a respected, powerful alpha who really didn't need to bear the burden of one of his own pups being half and half. I've never known what he did to my mother, but I do know that he abandoned me somewhere in the forest, probably hoping I'd eventually die of hunger or be killed by something larger and stronger than me. I was only a few weeks old, I think."
It was becoming harder and harder for Orihime to remain silent; despite her past as a hunter, she knew for a fact that wolves were fiercely devoted to their pups and would easily sacrifice their own lives to save them. The fact that a wolf had gone against something she'd always assumed to be instinct, and willingly, filled her with anger she had never felt before. "How… how could he…?"
"My father was never a normal wolf, by pack standards." Tsuki sighed. "To be fair to him, his life was shaped by blood and death from his puppy days, and even a wolf can only take so much trauma before they start going a little loopy. And as I said before, half breeds aren't considered very valuable, at least not until recently."
Tsuki trailed off for a moment, as though contemplating this; Orihime tilted her head back slightly to look up at her, frowning a little. "Tsuki-chan?"
"Sorry. Just thinking." Touched by Orihime's small show of concern, Tsuki lowered her head and gently brushed her lips against the light-haired woman's in a chaste kiss. "Trying to put everything in order in my head, I guess."
"Take your time."
"It's kind of simple after that, though." Tsuki closed her eyes, resting her forehead against Orihime's. "I was found by a human woman and her daughter; she was only a year older than me at the time. I was still young, not even old enough to really know I was a wolf, so I went through something of a reverse discovery. Because I was being raised by humans, I instinctively took on a human form and held it most of my life; so technically I grew up human, blissfully unaware of my wolf heritage."
"Did you know you were adopted?"
"My mother was very open to me from the very beginning, so I knew it, yes… but looking at me no one would have known. My form adapted to look like Mom and my sister, so I looked related to them though I wasn't, except for my hair… and my sister and I were technically only a year apart, so we were as close as any blood siblings. I could have lived like that forever."
Orihime reached up with one hand, gently touching Tsuki's cheek as she heard the wistfulness in the other woman's voice; Tsuki smiled but didn't open her eyes, content to stay in her current position. "So your mother gave you the pendant?" she asked softly.
"I actually found it on the beach as a kid… and she made it a necklace for me. I don't think I've ever taken it off."
Tsuki laughed softly, trailing off here. It was obvious that despite the pain, she still had some joy in her memories of her old life, before everything had gone to hell and a dark gray wolf had ripped everything apart. Orihime bit her lip. "Tsuki-chan?"
"Hmm?"
"What… what happened to your family?"
A moment of silence; then:
"You remember that dark gray wolf we saw earlier? Really big, long teeth, angry golden eyes?"
"Yes, clearly."
"That was my… that was my brother. His name is Tsume. You could probably tell, but he's pure wolf. We share the same father. He takes more after our father than I do. And he…"
"He what?"
"He… he killed my mother." A tremor entered the dark-haired woman's voice, and her eyes stung. "He killed my mom."
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The first thing Chikane drowsily became aware of as she began to wake was that her alarm had failed to go off; an odd event on its own, considering that she remembered setting it before going to bed the night before. She blinked groggily and frowned a little in confusion.
The second thing she became aware of was that she was… extremely warm. Not so much that it was uncomfortable, but a bit more so than she could remember being in the past when she'd woken up. Indeed, this new and unusual warmth seemed nestled quite comfortably in her arms, more accurately against her chest and neck, for some odd reason that her foggy mind couldn't yet comprehend, still held in the mists of sleep.
The third thing she realized was the scent hanging around her; the scent of grass and the faded night air, the scent of the trees and the dirt, the very scent of the stars and the moon themselves, if they had a scent at all. It smelled wild, almost untamable, and finally she blinked and shifted her head slightly to get a clear look of its source.
She found it a moment later.
Himeko slept peacefully in her arms, her head tucked trustingly beneath Chikane's chin and her breathing deep and even, blowing warmly against Chikane's neck and occasionally stirring dark strands of hair.
Well, hello, Chikane thought, blinking a bit and slowly shifting so she was resting on her elbows, gently cradling Himeko and shifting so the other girl wasn't stirred; even despite this, Himeko still murmured unintelligently in her sleep and snuggled closer to Chikane, as though instinctively seeking her warmth.
Okay then. Chikane blew out a long breath and tried to ignore the heat rushing into her face, turning her cheeks bright red. I won't move if you don't want me to.
A soft cough made the blue-haired girl look up, and she froze. "Mom."
"Good morning." Kazumi's eyes gleamed with good humor. "You didn't spend the night alone, I see."
Chikane turned, her mother deemed, about fifty different shades of red, several of which had no name. "I swear we didn't do anything. She, uh…" She snuck out of the house so I followed her, and we saw some wolves dancing. It was incredible. Then we danced, too. "She had a nightmare."
The younger girl gave quiet thanks for her lying skills, though it still made her guilty to lie to her mother; despite it she managed to keep a perfectly straight face as Kazumi's lips twitched. "A nightmare," the older woman repeated.
"Yeah."
"And she sought you out."
"Yeah." Something like that.
The unspoken words hung thickly in the air; Kazumi smiled, leaning against the doorframe. "You two seem very close."
Chikane raised a brow, trying to ignore the way Himeko had managed to nuzzle closer—and only partially succeeding. "Does that bother you?"
"No." The smile never faded, not even an inch. "I think it's kind of cute, actually." First love usually is, she mused. "But Chikane…"
"Yes?"
"You need to remember." This time, the smile faded. "Sooner or later, she'll have to go home."
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The tears slipped out before Tsuki was even aware of them; growling softly under her breath she sat up sharply, scrubbing at her eyes with the back of her hand. "Damn," she murmured. "I'm sorry. I thought after all this time I could—"
"Don't apologize." Orihime gently rested her hand against the back of Tsuki's neck and pulled her back down so their foreheads were touching again, brushing the half wolf's tears away with her thumb. "You've done nothing wrong. If you want to stop…"
"She died in a fire." Tsuki's voice was abrupt and ragged. "By chance, a patrol of wolves had glimpsed me while I was out with Kaz—my sister, I used to call her that all the time, she hated it—on my sixteenth birthday. Technically I was the firstborn, and therefore the rightful heir to my father's pack; something my brother knew and despised."
She trailed off, blowing out a long breath and nuzzling quietly into Orihime's hair for a moment, drawing in the light-haired woman's scent. It was comforting, and kept her grounded, at least partially so.
"He divided his pack into two teams; he sent one group after Kaz and I, and he led the other that killed Mom. That… that was when I realized I was a wolf." Her voice softened to almost a whisper. "When they attacked, they immediately went for Kaz because she was human; she would be easier for them to kill. I panicked. I had to protect her. I lost control… and I became a wolf. And I killed them." Her tears began to fall again, the horror of her first kill sweeping through her. "I killed them before they killed Kaz."
"Did she…?"
"She was shocked. I was covered in blood and fur. I was a wolf. She was shocked. And she grabbed me and hugged me." Tsuki smiled through her tears. "I was a wolf, I had black fur and I was completely covered in blood, and she grabbed me and hugged me so tightly I thought she'd crush me. We were still sisters." She closed her eyes. "Even to the bitter end, we were still sisters."
By the look of her now, at least as a human, Orihime guessed Tsuki was by now at least twenty for a human; which meant that the events she spoke of now had only passed about four years ago. Once again she brushed away Tsuki's tears, not minding their wetness. "Tsuki-chan," she whispered.
"It didn't take us long to figure out that if we'd been attacked, then Mom was probably next. I was small—my form was only that of a two year old at the time, barely past a year—but I was fast, and I led Kaz back to our house. When we found it… it was completely encased in flames."
Even now, Tsuki could recall the moment with crystal clarity; the scent of smoke and burning wood, the faint stench of scorched flesh, the heat of the flames, the bright oranges and reds. She remembered the sound of Kaz's scream. She remembered how the fire had teased at her fur, had burned her paws and legs as she tore through the ruins of their home, heedless of it all, howling for her mother.
"They'd already killed her," she murmured. "I found her body, and they'd already killed her. Tore her throat out. They'd burned the house, everything in it, to show the power they had over me. She'd still been alive when they'd set it; they'd torn her throat out as the fire took shape and left her there to burn." Rage and hatred filled her voice. "They could take on a human form, after all, and what better way to leave their mark?" She laughed coldly, bitterly, narrowing her eyes.
"I was young, and stupid, but Tsume made the ultimate mistake. He shaped my time as a wolf with fire, and blood, and death. Right off the bat, that was all I knew. And it was enough to make me hate him. It was enough to make me leave Kaz behind, to pursue him into the forest and face him." She smirked. "Of course, being that I had only just discovered my wolf heritage, I knew next to nothing about it."
"What happened?"
"He and his group ripped me apart." Tsuki said it casually, as though it had been expected all along. "I was foolish, and he was skilled and strong. The irony of it was, at the end of the night, we were actually the same age as wolves. I was older than him by fourteen years, but my wolf body was two years old—just as his was." She shrugged, feeling calmer now. "His group had their fun with me, left me bloody and bruised, and probably figured I'd die in the rain with their plan working perfectly."
"But you're alive and successful, four years later." Orihime grinned up at her.
"Indeed." Tsuki smiled back, being the one this time around to bring their lips together for a chaste kiss. "Because my brother, for all his calculating and plotting, didn't figure on one lone gentle giant passing through the area that night."
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Considering that her mother had actually taken pity on her and was allowing her to stay home from school ("Just for today, though… I doubt Kurusugawa -san would let you go, anyway.") and that she had no intentions of moving until Himeko woke, Chikane simply lay there beside the other girl and let her mind wander.
And as it was, all her thoughts kept circling back to the sleeping girl beside her.
Now that she thought about it, Chikane realized she knew next to nothing about Himeko's home or the people in it. The only time the light-haired girl had ever mentioned such a place had been when she'd said Makoto's name, and even then Chikane still didn't exactly know the nature of her relationship with the other girl.
Himeko's unwillingness to speak of her home was probably natural, considering her circumstances, but it still nagged at Chikane like a fly buzzing around her head. Never once had she mentioned her parents, any uncles or aunts or cousins, siblings or friends.
And the fact was, sooner or later she'd have to return to that. To something she never spoke of, something Chikane knew nothing about.
Maybe she doesn't have a family…
The thought flitted briefly through the dark-haired girl's mind before quietly fading away like a passing shadow, almost as though she'd never thought of it at all. She sighed, quietly running a hand through Himeko's hair and delighted when the girl didn't pull away from her touch.
She knew nothing about Himeko. Nothing at all. Getting her feeling involved in the whole matter would just make things messy and very, very painful when the time came for Himeko to return home.
Chikane bit back a groan, just lowered her head and gently touched her forehead to Himeko's, sighing.
"Too late for that," she murmured.
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Orihime smiled slightly. "I take it that's another name for your Rakuen?"
"Much to his everlasting annoyance, but it suits him perfectly."
Fondness had seeped into Tsuki's voice at the thought of the large golden wolf who had taken her in and guided her through her first days as a wolf; even now he was just as important to her as he'd been at the beginning.
"He was a lone wolf at the time, just passing through the area; he's two years older than me by wolf years, so he was about four back then. He stumbled on me not long after my brother fled with his pack. Even now I don't know why he took me in… he carried me to a cave and nursed me back to health. I was a stranger to him, but he still took me in." Tsuki rubbed the back of her neck, baffled even now. "He basically taught me everything I know; where to hunt, how to fight, so on and so forth. When I decided to try and establish the Heads system of leading, I chose him as the First Head of my pack. He's never doubted me."
"You must really love each other."
"He's been everything to me these last four years. My father, my brother, my best friend. He's always been there for me, and never once did he complain." Tsuki closed her eyes. "I've never paid him back for any of it. Never."
Orihime hesitated, then lifted her hand to gently stroke Tsuki's cheek.
"Maybe…" She hesitated, then plunged on. "Maybe, by being who you are today, maybe that's enough for him. Knowing that he helped you become that way. I think… I think he's satisfied with that."
Tsuki didn't reply, but the small smile she gave Orihime was enough.
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Himeko stirred, making Chikane blink and quickly pull away, establishing some distance between the pair; she wasn't sure how the other girl would react to such closeness. She didn't have to wait long, as Himeko slowly opened her eyes; they were still a little cloudy from sleep, and she took a moment to rub at them with the back of her hand before smiling sleepily at Chikane. "Morning, Chikane-chan," she murmured.
Chikane couldn't fight the smile even if she tried. "Good morning, Himeko."
"Shouldn't you be at school?" Himeko frowned a little in confusion, propping up on her elbows.
"Mom gave me the day off. I told her you snuck in because of a nightmare. I figured the truth would be a bit of a problem."
The golden-haired girl winced accordingly to that, closing her eyes; and then, much to Chikane's shock and delight, leaned in and rested her cheek trustingly against the crook of the dark-haired girl's neck. "Sorry," she murmured, her voice slightly muffled. "You probably didn't like lying to her. I'm really sorry, Chikane-chan."
"It, ah…" Chikane's mouth had gone notably dry. "It's okay. She didn't ask for anything else, so… it wasn't so hard." She swallowed gamely and prayed Himeko wouldn't notice the heat radiating from her face. She tried a shot in the dark. "I mean, you probably lie to your parents every now and then, right?"
There was a long moment of silence; then:
"My parents are dead."
Chikane blinked, shifting slightly to look down, but Himeko didn't pull away despite her soft confession. Her eyes softened slightly. "I… hey, I'm sorry," she murmured. "I didn't know—"
"It's not your fault, Chikane-chan. I've never really told you about them, so… you wouldn't know. I mean, they died when I was young, anyway…"
But it still hurts, Chikane thought wordlessly, noting the tremor that had come into Himeko's voice at the mention of her parents. "Are you alone, then?"
"Well… no… I have Mako…" There was a pause, then Himeko added, "She's my cousin."
"Oh." Thank you, God.
"Yeah. I mean… she's my best friend, you know? But that's about it. My big sister. She always calls me her little sister, though we're cousins. We're just family."
"A small one."
"That's just if you count by blood, Chikane-chan."
There was a moment of silence as Chikane mulled this over; she sighed, turning her head so her own cheek was nestled against the top of Himeko's head. "You're doing it again," she murmured.
"Doing what?"
"Talking like a wolf." The blue-haired girl blew out a long breath. "My father says that wolves consider all members of their pack their family, though they might not be related by blood."
Himeko processed this quietly, never bothering to pull away from Chikane; due to their position Chikane couldn't see the other girl's face, but she felt rather than saw Himeko close her eyes, felt her warm breath against her neck as she sighed softly. "Himeko?" she asked timidly, not sure what was going through the girl's head.
"What makes wolves so different from humans?"
"Excuse me?"
"What makes wolves so different from humans?" Himeko repeated softly. "They're both the same. They both love their families. They both play and frolic around. They love each other, are devoted to each other. So why do they treat each other like they're different?"
"Because… well, they are different. Wolves… wolves are dangerous. They're huge, with teeth and claws and golden eyes. They can shift from their own forms to that of a human in the blink of an eye. Wolves kill people." Chikane's voice softened. "Wolves killed my aunts. Both of them."
"Both?"
"A wolf killed my father's sister… and also killed my mother's family."
Himeko pulled away at this, and for a moment Chikane wondered if she had angered the light-haired young woman; but her eyes, when they looked at each other, were sad and appeared much, much older than they truly were.
"Wolves do kill," she said softly, "and sometimes they kill ruthlessly. But very few are like the one who killed your aunts and your grandparents."
"Just a grandmother."
"My point is, wolves rarely kill for the hell of it." Her eyes darkened. "When a wolf kills, they kill with the intent of protecting their own family. Just as humans do."
"Himeko…"
"So I ask again: what makes wolves so different from humans?"
They gazed at each other for a moment, neither sure of exactly what to say, knowing that something had shifted in their relationship; after a moment Chikane lowered her head and rested it on Himeko's shoulder, turning her face into the other girl's throat as Himeko closed her eyes and rested her cheek against her dark hair.
"Himeko." Chikane's voice shook slightly. "Where are you planning to go?"
Himeko bit her lip as tears stung her eyes. "A place you can't follow."
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They traveled on horseback that afternoon, and it was the only time Tsuki ever took on her wolf form again. Wolf legs kept pace easily, and she loped beside Orihime's horse without any apparent effort. It was she who picked up the scent of blood as they rode, and it was she who tugged Orihime's pant sleeve gently to make her stop. "What is it, Tsuki-chan?" she asked, reining her horse in.
"I smell blood up ahead."
"Wolves?" Sakura narrowed her eyes, trotting her horse up to Tsuki's other side.
"Most likely, yes." Tsuki woofed softly. "I need to pick up the scents to be sure of who, but yes, we're probably walking in on bloodshed after battle."
Orihime nodded, reining her horse in to let Tsuki race on ahead; when there was a suitable distance, she signaled briefly to Sakura before following the black half wolf.
Tsuki was already sniffing at streaks of blood in the grass when Orihime pulled her horse to a stop; Sakura trotted to the black wolf's side, noting the way her fur bristled faintly. "Recognize 'em, Blackie-chan?"
"Tsuki." The black wolf flicked her ear briefly as Sakura grinned "And I do, unfortunately. Tsume's scent… probably his wolves. About four or five of them, enough for a hunting party."
"Were they chasing prey?" Orihime rode closer, frowning.
"It's possible, but this is weird… by the scent, Tsume was here, too." Tsuki furrowed her brow in confusion. "It isn't like him. My brother doesn't usually bother with things like leading a hunt. So what exactly were they hunting that would catch my brother's interest like this?"
Shaking her head, Tsuki walked away from the streaks of blood and headed for the other spill in the area; a large puddle of blood, dark and already beginning to dry on the grass. The blood streaks had come from this area, indicating that the prey had been bleeding prior to being caught and dragged down by Tsume's wolves.
And it had still fought, Orihime thought in awe, seeing how the blood was spread out and the grass was crushed. More blood covered the grass around the large puddle, indicating that the prey had managed to make its pursuers bleed, at least a little bit. "My God," she whispered as Tsuki lowered her head to catch a scent of the blood, "what were they hunting?"
"Whatever it was," Sakura muttered, eyeing the fighting area with narrow eyes, "it definitely gave them one hell of a fight, blood loss or no blood loss."
Tsuki gave no reply, still sniffing the blood intently as though trying to catch the scent of whatever it was her brother and his wolves had hunted. She froze; her eyes widened slightly and the fur along her back and neck began to bristle again. "No," she whispered weakly.
"Tsuki-chan?"
Then, to Orihime's shock, the black wolf shot off, running as fast as her paws would allow; Orihime glanced worriedly at Sakura before urging her horse after the black half wolf, heart pounding.
The horses were fast, but Tsuki was urged on by terror and shock, urged on by fear and denial and a desperate, sick hope that she was wrong; the two hunters soon lost sight of their black-furred companion, but the horses had her scent and followed it easily, obviously knowing where she was going.
"NO!!"
Tsuki's anguished howl tore through Orihime's head like a bullet, and for a moment the light-haired woman flinched in pain, narrowing her eyes as pain exploded in her head. Hissing through clenched teeth she swung off her horse and ran, hearing Sakura follow her. "Tsuki-chan!" she called. "Tsuki-chan, what's wrong?!"
The black half wolf had followed the blood to a large tree in the forest, but Orihime could see that at this point Tsuki had assumed her human form. Tears streamed freely down her cheeks, and when she looked at Orihime her blue eyes were stricken.
In her arms she cradled a large golden wolf, his fur bloody and numerous wounds slashing along his shoulders, neck, sides, and belly. Orihime felt her heart drop into her stomach as Sakura stumbled to her side.
"Rakuen," Tsuki whispered numbly, lowering her head and speaking softly into the motionless wolf's ear. "Rakuen, big guy, come on." More tears began to fall. "You're still alive. I know you are. Rakuen. Rakuen!!"
Orihime gently pushed Tsuki away from the golden male, lowering her head to his muzzle; she felt the weak puff of his breath against her ear, and when she pressed her hand to his chest his fur still felt warm, and his heartbeat was still steady, and she swallowed when she pulled her hand back and found it slick and warm with fresh blood.
"He's bleeding to death." Orihime forced her voice not to shake and looked at Tsuki. "He's lost a lot of blood, and he's still losing it. He's still alive, but not by much. We need to get him somewhere, get his wounds cleaned up."
"And he'll be okay?" Tsuki's voice shook, her eyes pleading.
"I don't know." Orihime bit her lip as Tsuki gathered the golden wolf into her arms again, burying her face into his fur with a soft sob. "I'm sorry, Tsuki-chan. I just don't know."
Tsuki didn't reply, and her body shook as she wept openly into Rakuen's bloody fur.
"Rakuen, please…"
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Yeah, more focused on Orihime/Tsuki this time around... for a reason. Their story is nearing its end, with Chikane and Himeko caught in the aftermath.
Quick note, "Kaz" is not actually the name of Tsuki's adopted sister. It is, as she mentioned earlier, a nickname. Have fun figuring it out, and once again Tsuki was not related to her family by blood...
Read and review, please!