Disclaimer: I don't own KnM, but I do have a lot of story ideas for it. Oh boy.

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Chapter 17

"And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am."

-Goo Goo Dolls

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The first thing Tsubasa was aware of as his brain hummed into consciousness was that fact that he was… very warm. He was warm, the kind of warmth he often associated with sleeping with Miyako and Jin, and his head rested on something soft, gentle fingers running through his hair and occasionally tracing the lines of his face.

That was the second thing; he was most definitely human, and not wolf. When had he taken on his human form? He couldn't remember summoning it.

"Tsubasa? Are you awake?"

He jolted a little at the soft voice even as he recognized it. Frowning a little in confusion he slowly opened his eye, wincing as pain pounded dully throughout his whole body. Why was he in pain? He hadn't…

Oh.

The amnesia of waking from a deep sleep evaporated as he recalled the events of the last few hours, and he groaned. "Easy," Miyako murmured, leaning over to press a hand to his chest and keep him from moving. "I just bandaged your wounds, so you'll start bleeding again if you move so soon. Plus, you'll wake Jin." Her eyes gleamed; feeling his heart jolt at the mention of his son, Tsubasa cautiously tilted his head—he was resting on his back, he realized, his head on Miyako's lap—to see the small boy curled up next to him, asleep. "He's okay," he rasped.

"Yes; a little shaken up, but one can expect that. I'm quite proud of him, actually… he's been holding his form for awhile now and so far he's been able to ignore the side effects."

"I see." Tsubasa looked back up at his mate. "Where are we, Miyako?"

"Remember that little cabin Kazuki insisted on buying a few years ago? We came here when the fighting got bad and we had no choice but to run. Everyone's in human form…"

"Who…?"

"Corona's here, and a pup named Shirayuki. Yukihito and Makoto." She paused. "Himeko, too."

She waited, gauging her mate's reaction to the golden wolf's name; Tsubasa slowly closed his eye and sighed heavily, a deep gust of air. "I see," he said at last.

"Kazuki, Souma, and Reiko chose to stay behind." He opened his eye as Miyako continued. "Some hunters were coming after us, and they… they wanted to stay, give us some time. We haven't…" Her voice faltered, trembled. "We haven't heard anything yet, but we're keeping an ear out. Corona especially." She forced the laugh. "I think she feels a little lost without Reiko at her side."

Miyako was trying desperately to be optimistic about the fates of their pack mates, trying to fight the unavoidable guilt that chewed at her for leaving them; but Tsubasa could feel the tension in her body and knew she didn't really believe what she said. Letting her words die, she quietly traced Tsubasa's scar with a finger, and paused when he lifted his hand and covered her own. "Tsubasa?"

"I'm…" His lips twitched, almost curved into some shadow of a sad smile. "I'm a hypocrite, aren't I?"

"Well, I wasn't going to say anything, but you know…"

"It's true, though, isn't it?" He sighed and cursed softly, mindful of Jin sleeping beside him. "I rip Himeko apart for falling in love with a human, when the truth is I'm no different. I fell in love with a human, too." He chuckled tiredly. "Hell, I'm still in love with a human."

"I love you too, honey."

The gentle humor in Miyako's voice reminded the white wolf sharply of what had attracted him to her back when they had first met, when she had still been a wolf hunter too kind for her own good and he'd been a young wolf with revenge on his mind; that eternal optimism that always bubbled inside her, even when everything seemed to be at its darkest. He chuckled despite himself, and she smiled tiredly.

"… Tsubasa?"

"Yes?"

"Why…" Her voice softened slightly. "Why didn't you kill me back there? You could've. I wouldn't have fought you."

There was a long moment of silence as they gazed at each other; groaning again, a bit louder this time, Tsubasa slowly closed his eye. "Why didn't I kill you years ago like I intended?" he muttered. "I just… I couldn't do it, Miyako. Then, or now. Because I looked at you and I realized… you're the last person I'd ever want to kill."

He didn't say it outright; he had never been romantic even in his youth, and Miyako hadn't expected him to start now. But she understood what he was saying, what he'd left unsaid. And because she understood she lowered her head, gently touching her lips to his as tears dripped down her face, and she felt his hand against her cheek, warm and strong.

Beside Tsubasa, Jin slowly opened one eye, watching his parents. After a moment he closed his eye again, and there was no mistaking the small, relieved smile that curved his lips.

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In the trees, there was no light; just shadows and darkness. The light of the moon overhead was blocked out by clouds, making the blackness even more absolute. The figure stumbled through the trees guided by instinct and scent alone; eyesight did no good now. At least it wasn't raining anymore; it probably wouldn't have made any difference, but the added cold and wetness that rain usually brought wasn't something that could be dealt with right now.

Blood stained the grass, dripped from her wounds with every step she took; despite that and the pain, the weakness, Reiko plunged on, gritting her teeth and sagging against a tree for a moment as her vision blurred. She thumped her head against the tree a few times to clear her eyes and blew out a long breath, wincing as her side throbbed and blood spilled.

Shit…

Her legs trembled and nearly gave on her, but stubborn willpower made her release the tree and stand upright even as the movement sent a brilliant jolt of agony throughout her body. For a moment she saw nothing but a flash of white and cursed as a headache flared, pounding against her skull.

Dammit, dammit, come on! You've come this far, there's no use quitting now.

Reiko smirked, forcing herself to walk again.

And you're the only one left.

The revelation made her freeze; she felt as though a large, unseen hand had suddenly gripped her heart and was squeezing it tightly. The pain was staggering and nearly brought the disguised wolf to her knees as it finally hit her, as her brain, numbed by blood loss and darkness, comprehended what she'd known all along but had tried so desperately to ignore.

You're the only one.

Reiko's face crumbled, and sobs tore from her throat as she sagged into the grass.

You left them both behind to die.

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"Miserable bastards, aren't they?"

It was the hint of humor in the voice that made Oota Corona open her eyes and look up; the stranger before her wiped at her mouth with the back of her hand before kneeling down, retrieving the two bracelets the thugs had tried to make off with. They gleamed silver, clinking quietly together as the dark-skinned woman made her way over to the young pop idol. "I think these are yours," she said, holding them out. "They must mean a lot to you, if you put up a fight for them."

"They are." Hesitantly, Corona took the bracelets, slid them back on and tried to ignore the throbbing of her cheek where one of the jerks had backhanded her. "My parents gave them to me."

"Ah… question. Did you… BITE one of those men?"

She said the words with absolutely no emotion or emphasis whatsoever, but the raised eyebrow said it all. Feeling the heat rush into her face Corona snapped, "He was trying to take my bracelets! What was I supposed to do to get him to let go of me?"

"… Guess that gives 'bite me' a whole new definition…"

Corona scowled at the woman, then blinked when she offered her hand. She really had nothing to lose, so she took it and let her pull her up. "Hey, you're Oota Corona, aren't you? That new pop idol?"

"Um… yes… and you're Kinjo Miayko, if I remember correctly."

"You know about wolf hunters?"

"A bit, yeah."

Obviously surprised by this, Miyako looked at her; Corona shrugged and rubbed the back of her neck, suddenly feeling a little self conscious. She'd researched wolf hunters a little to get a feel of them for a song she was thinking of writing, but she hadn't expected Miyako to be surprised. She cleared her throat. "Well, uh… thank you for helping me, Kinjo-san."

"Do you live by here?"

"Yeah, actually, I do."

"Mind if I walk you there?"

"Eh?"

Miyako shrugged, the surprise fading from her eyes and looking as though she was back in her element. "Well, I just figure, it's still dark out and you look battered up, so someone might try and take advantage of that again. If I'm there, at the very least I can pull my gun or something."

"… You have a gun?"

"Hey. Wolf hunter. Comes with the job."

Corona wasn't touching that one with a ten foot pole.

"I guess some company would be nice." She smiled timidly.

"Okay then."

They walked together, side by side. Neither of them knew how far they would go in the years to come, but for now they had the tentative start of a friendship, and it was enough for both of them.

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"Corona."

The brown-haired young woman winced and slowly drifted from sleep, not even aware of the fact that she'd dozed off in the first place; she blinked groggily and rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand, pausing when she saw Shirayuki curled up in her arms, nestled comfortably against her, her head against the older wolf's heart. Corona had finally managed to convince the shy light gray wolf pup to take on her human form, so now a silver-haired, golden-eyed girl slept in her arms.

The scent of hot chocolate hit her, and she looked up to see Miyako standing over her, holding two cups in each hand. Despite everything, her eyes lit up. "Gimme."

"Figured you'd say that." With a soft laugh Miyako leaned down, and Corona carefully shifted Shirayuki so she could grab the cup and bring it to her lips, drinking deeply. The chocolate was warm and tasted sweet against her tongue.

Miyako sat down next to her easily, blowing a loose strand of purple hair out of her eyes; lowering her cup, Corona took a moment to observe her old friend's choice of clothing in her human form. "Fitting," she murmured, noticing the large black letters on her gray sweatshirt that boldly declared "BLOODBATH". The Second Head shrugged, taking a sip from her cup. "It fit my mood," she said simply.

"I bet. How's the White Terror?"

The Second Head chuckled at the use of her mate's old nickname. "Sore, but he'll live. The only thing he really bruised is his pride. He's asleep right now with Jin." She glanced down at Shirayuki. "What about your little friend?"

"Asleep, as you can see." Corona ran her hand through the silver strands. "She hasn't said a word yet, but… I think she's gotten attached to me and Reiko."

"Not surprising, all things considered…"

The former pop idol winced and nodded quietly, knowing that Miyako was talking about how Reiko and her mate had come to the pup's aid during the battle. She quietly took another sip of hot chocolate, one ear tuned for Reiko's howl. Seeing the subtle gesture, Miyako resisted the urge to wince. With every minute that passed, the chances of Reiko (and Souma and Kazuki, for that matter) returning alive slowly but surely faded.

"Miyako? Corona?"

The soft, hesitant voice made both Heads look up. Himeko and Makoto stood in the doorway; both had been bandaged after the fight, though it was hard to really tell because of the night clothes they wore. It was obvious that Himeko was the one who wanted to speak to the pair; Makoto hovered uneasily at her side, obviously uncomfortable with the situation but willing to support her cousin. Miyako and Corona exchanged quiet looks, knowing what was to come; it was the Second Head who spoke. "Yes, Himeko?"

"You were human once."

Miyako blinked, swallowing a mouthful of hot chocolate before setting the cup down, surveying Himeko with quiet gold eyes. She felt Corona's shoulder brush her own as the other woman shifted slightly. The dark-skinned woman chuckled softly, running a hand through her hair. "Jeez, nothing gets past you, does it?" She sighed and held up both hands as though in defeat. "Yes, I was human once."

"Same here." Corona's voice was soft, but slightly defiant. Miyako gently touched her shoulder to soothe her.

"I knew about Miyako…" Himeko's voice faltered, regained its strength. "I found out while I was with Chikane-chan."

"I figured as much."

Corona shifted subtly, in a way that her body was positioned between Himeko and Miyako; the Second Head immediately noticed and laid a hand on the former pop idol's shoulder. "Easy there, Trigger," she soothed. "Calm down. Look before you leap. And remember the sleeping girl in your lap."

At that moment, Shirayuki shifted against Corona, murmuring sleepily; grumbling a little the disguised dark brown wolf backed down, mindful of the pup she cradled in her arms. Content that her old (if slightly overprotective) friend had settled down, Miyako turned her eyes to Himeko and Makoto. "I figured as much," she repeated. "You've always been a sharp pup, Himeko, and I've never tried to hide my past." She shrugged. "The only reason Corona's name was never mentioned in any of the hunting records is because I never brought her up. If anyone asked, I just said I had a friend who sheltered wolves for me."

"And is that…" Himeko glanced nervously at Corona. "Is that how you met Reiko?"

Corona's voice was soft. "Yeah, pretty much."

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"So this is your latest rescue, eh?"

Corona knelt before the cage, propping her hand up in the palm of her hand and letting the other dangle as she gazed at the slim rust-colored wolf that lay in the cage. The wolf rested easily on her side, watching the pair of humans with narrow gold eyes. "She's a little small," the pop idol observed, eliciting a soft growl of protest.

"She's young." Miyako glanced briefly at the wolf. "Probably only a yearling, or just recently turned two, by the look of her, so she's still got that puppy build."

"Ah…"

Intrigued by the silent female, Corona gently put her fingers through the bars and stroked the wolf's muzzle; a small shiver rippled through the wolf's body and she closed her eyes, sighing softly and shifting a little. As she shifted, Corona saw her leg was bandaged. "So what's her story?"

"Judging by her behavior, I think she was separated from her pack. She's something of a loner to begin with, but even lone wolves need companionship, and she's young, never been on her own before." The dark-skinned hunter sighed, feeling a flash of pity. "She was wandering through the woods and was drawn to a house with a couple German Shepherds; most likely they reminded her of her own pack, so she started hanging out there."

"And her leg?"

"The son of a bitch who owned the dogs figured he could set a cheap trap to catch her. Problem is, once she got caught, he didn't check the trap soon enough and she got cut up pretty bad trying to struggle free before he finally gave me a call."

"Bastard." Corona felt a flash of heated anger. "So you bandaged her up?"

"It was the only way to get her to walk, and even then she was limping pretty badly when I coaxed her into the cage…"

Saying nothing, the pop idol leaned forward a bit so she could scratch the young wolf behind the ears. The wolf shifted again and, to Corona's shock and delight, tilted her head so she was leaning more into her touch.

"Anyway…" The change of tone made Corona look up at her friend. "I was wondering if you could keep her for awhile. She's pretty quiet and doesn't seem bothered by humans, so I doubt she'd give you much trouble."

"Hey, always willing to lend a hand. How long is she crashing at my place?"

"Awhile, unfortunately." Miyako grimaced. "I wanted to get her relocated quickly, but her leg needs time to heal and I have a new case that I can't put off."

Curious, Corona held out her free hand; knowing what she wanted, Miyako reached into her pocket and retrieved a photo, handing it to the pop idol. The younger girl gave a low whistle as she studied the white wolf captured on film. There was a dangerous gleam in his golden eyes, and his large body was pure muscle. "What a monster," she murmured, handing the photo back to Miyako. "He's your latest?"

"Yes. He's called the White Terror. He's attacked several humans so far, and my job is to shoot him down before he kills someone."

"Have fun with that, then."

"Oh, I will. You sure you don't mind keeping an eye on this one?"

"Nah." Corona smiled, rubbing the wolf's head. "We're already friends."

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"Um, question." Makoto's voice was timid, but she was urged on by Himeko's presence. "Just wondering… if you were both human, how did you become wolves? I mean, that's a pretty radical change, isn't it?"

Miyako gave a crooked smile. "Depends on who you talk to. You're familiar with half breeds, aren't you?"

"Yes, but what does that—"

"Wolves and humans are compatible."

Dead silence hung between the two pairs of wolves; Miyako sighed and ran a hand through her hair, shaking her head and looking sheepishly at Corona before turning her attention to Makoto and Himeko. "You're surprised?" she asked quietly. "Wolves can take on and maintain human forms; they can even become human, really, if they successfully hold their forms for seven days and seven nights. So, it's only natural that they're compatible, that they can produce offspring between them, provided the wolf is in human form."

"So then… you're…"

"Yes." Miyako's eyes softened slightly. "My mother was a wolf and she fell in love with my father, who was a human. My brother Girochi and I have always possessed the ability to become wolves, if we ever wished it."

Himeko glanced at Corona, who had said nothing during this time, quietly running her fingers through the still sleeping Shirayuki's hair. "So then, are you half wolf, too?" she asked softly.

"Sorry." Corona shook her head. "Hate to disappoint you, but I'm one hundred percent pure human." She paused, shrugged. "Or I used to be. Whatever."

"Then how did—"

"What separates humans and wolves, Himeko?"

There was a moment of silence as the golden wolf mulled this over; her eyes widened, and realization lit her face. "Freedom. Pride."

"Exactly. Basically, when you come down to it, what really makes humans and wolves so different from each other is a single instinct." Corona glanced briefly at Miyako, seeking assurance, before plunging on. "Call it freedom, call it pride, but it's instinct. When a human accepts this instinct, embraces it, they can become a wolf. In contrast, when a wolf denies this instinct or pushes it away, they can become a human."

"But… then that means that…"

"Yes." Miyako spoke then, her voice soft, subdued. "As much as we hate to admit it, humans and wolves aren't so different from each other… you could say they're practically the same."

A choked whimper escaped Himeko as she heard the words that she had so desperately craved since meeting Chikane; tears spilled down her cheeks and Makoto pulled her close, hugging her tightly with one arm as she wept. Corona lowered her eyes, biting her lip, as Miyako sighed softly.

And then a lone howl pierced the night sky, making all of them stiffen; Shirayuki opened her eyes, blinking groggily, as Tsubasa limped from his room, Jin at his side and Yukihito stumbled down the hall. Tensely, they listened, straining their ears for that sound.

The howl came again, closer than before; but it was alone, with no other howls following it or echoing it. Three wolves had been left behind, and from the sound of it, only one had returned.

Souma, Kazuki, and Reiko had been left behind to fight off the humans.

And the only one calling to them now was Reiko.

A low, anguished sob tore from Makoto's throat and she sank to her knees with a thud as she crumbled, bowing her head as tears fell and ragged sobs ripped through her whole body. Himeko wrapped her arms tightly around her cousin, feeling her own tears fall, and closed her eyes.

They both knew Souma was gone.

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They ran outside regardless, and Corona had pulled Reiko into her arms and held her now as though she never wanted to let the other woman go again. The normally stoic woman had nuzzled her face into Corona's throat, unable to look any of her pack mates in the eyes, covered in blood and exhausted, stricken by grief and guilt.

Dimly, Himeko couldn't help but wonder why the rain had chosen now to stop falling.

They stood that way for a moment, quietly huddled together, a small, broken group of the once large pack they'd all known and loved. After a moment, his arm tight around Miyako and his son between them, Tsubasa spoke, his voice rough.

"There is no reason for any of us to remain wolves anymore." They all looked at him silently as he continued. "We have nothing to return to, and nothing to rebuild. A quiet life as humans… that would suit us now."

Quiet murmurs of agreement and small nods were his only real response; Himeko still held Makoto close, whispering softly into her cousin's ear. Sniffling a little, Makoto lifted her head and held out a hand, beckoning Yukihito; the lone male took her hand and let her pull him into their small group, biting his lip to keep his tears for his father at bay.

"Tomorrow, we become humans," Tsubasa rasped. "But one last time, let us become wolves. Let us honor our loved ones who gave their lives… and can't be here with us now."

Silently, one by one, they each dropped their human forms, even the pups, Jin who huddled between his parents and Shirayuki who rested between Corona's front paws. And one by one, still in silence, they tilted their heads back, opened their mouths, and howled.

They howled together as one, letting the wind take their voices away into the night sky. And though the distance was great, the humans heard the mournful howls of the wolves.

And it broke their hearts.

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"Mako?"

No response from her cousin, huddled up on her bed with her back to Himeko; frowning, slowly sitting up, the golden-haired girl swung her feet out and stood, crossing the room. She saw the way Makoto's body trembled, and her heart ached. "Oh, Mako," she whispered hoarsely, leaning down and gently lifting the auburn-haired girl up, wrapping her arms around her. Makoto just whimpered, sobbing weakly as she nuzzled into the crook of Himeko's neck, seeking comfort.

Not even bothering to speak Himeko just tightened her hold on Makoto and closed her eyes, resting her cheek against her hair and feeling her tears fall again.

Down the hall in another room, Reiko winced as Corona carefully bandaged one of her numerous wounds. "Sorry," the brown-haired girl murmured as her mate looked away, at the ground. "I'm really sorry. Am I hurting you?"

"It's nothing."

Reiko's voice was rough, her eyes still on the ground and her whole body trembling. Concerned, Corona sat down on the bed in front of her mate. "Hey," she said softly, touching Reiko's cheek, and blinked when she felt wetness. "Reiko?"

"They…" Reiko's voice shook, broke. "They… told me…"

"What?"

"Souma… and Kazuki… they told me to…"

For a moment Corona gazed at the other woman, puzzled; the next instant her eyes widened as she understood exactly what Reiko was trying to say. "Shit, Reiko…"

"They told me to leave them!"

Reiko lifted her eyes, tears streaming down her face as her body shook with the force of the grief she no longer tried to fight. "They told me to leave them behind," she whispered hoarsely, gripping Corona's shoulders. "They were hurt and bleeding and they told me to leave them, and I listened to them!" A sob escaped her. "Why?! Why did I listen to them?!!"

"Reiko." Corona swallowed, sliding one arm around Reiko's waist. "If you'd stayed, you would have all been killed. You know that."

"But… DAMMIT!"

With a high, keening wail of grief and anguish, Reiko buried her face into Corona's neck, sobbing raggedly. "Why?" she repeated weakly as her tears scorched her mate's skin. "Why did I listen to them?"

Wordlessly, Corona turned her head and hugged Reiko close, knowing words would do nothing to heal the wounds on her mate's heart. She closed her eyes, feeling tears burn.'

"Reiko…"

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As Chikane stirred from darkness, she realized she was back in her own bed. She blinked groggily, wincing as her head ached, and slowly sat up, her eyes widening slightly. "Mom?" she said weakly when she saw her mother at her bedside. "What… what are you doing here?"

"You're awake." In a single fluid motion Kazumi pulled her daughter into her arms, blowing out a ragged breath. "Thank God, you're awake."

"Of course I am." The blue-haired girl pulled back, forcing a weak smile. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Kazumi laughed, though it was weak and forced, and released her daughter. Chikane winced a bit as her body ached and her vision dimmed. "Where's Father?"

"He's with… well… what remains of our hunting party." Kazumi closed her eyes. "We lost a lot of people out there tonight… we almost thought we lost you…"

"Mom." Chikane touched her mother's hand. "I'm fine, see? I'm okay. I just…"

She trailed off, frowning in confusion as she felt something prick the skin of her hand; puzzled, she lifted her hand and slowly uncurled her fingers, staring at the small, pale pink shell pendant in her palm. Her eyes widened. "What…?"

"You had that when we found you." Kazumi gazed quietly at her daughter. "You never let go of it. You held on to it as if your life depended on it."

For a moment Chikane said nothing, timidly stroking the pendant with her fingers. The shell felt smooth and cool against her fingertips, and she could still see faint trails of blood on the patterns. She bit her lip and shook her head, lowering her hand as she felt tears sting her eyes at the pain in her chest. She looked up at her mother, exhaling shakily even as she felt tears slip down her cheeks.

"Chikane." Kazumi's voice was gentle, soft.

That did it; with a sob Chikane crumbled, letting her tears fall and feeling no guilt as Kazumi sat next to her, drawing her daughter into her arms and holding her tightly, trying to comfort her. "Himeko, Himeko…"

Hearing her say the name raggedly only confirmed Kazumi's suspicions; her heart aching for her daughter, she closed her eyes and gently stroked the teenager's back, feeling memories of her past rise, of playing with a small, blue-haired girl and finding the body of a dead black half wolf when Isamu had led a search party to find his sister Orihime.

She's just like you after all, Tsuki, she mused silently to herself. She's just like you to the very end.

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This was a difficult chapter for me to write. I wanted it to be conveyed that in the end no one really won, but... eh. Dunno how well that came across.

Next chapter's the last one, folks. Just a warning.

Read and review, please!