I hope you all liked the last chapter; this one has even more funness in it. :)

Disclaimer: Me no own Twilight, the song mentioned, or the drawings that inspired this story.

Hit Me Baby One More Time!

Felix's little sugar high still had yet to wind down, and it was taking its toll on the rest of the guard. Demitri had nearly lost it with the poor man, and Jane and Alec were busy redoing the room that Felix had set on fire.

Of course, nothing else was wrong.

Other than the fact that Heidi was still out with Demitri's car, and the three head vampires were trying to over see the festivities in the courtyards below, nothing else was wrong.

'Course Felix had determined otherwise.

"Felix, come on. Put that down." Demitri groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose as Felix began to play catch with the couch.

"Oh come ooooonnnnn!!! You're no fuuuuuun!" Looking almost teary eyed, Felix threw the couch to the floor, cracking it in half.

"Felix…" Demitri started, trying to calm the vamp down.

"No! It's always 'Felix this', or 'Felix that'! WHY CAN'T YOU PEOPLE ACCEPT ME FOR WHO I AM?!" Again, Demitri groaned, sitting down on the one couch Felix had yet to destroy. A few minutes of Felix whimpering and Demitri trying not to kill him passed by before Felix spoke up again.

"You don't love me do you?" Demitri pinched the bridge of his nose again, glaring at Felix.

"No, we simply adore you Felix." At this Felix smiled, clapping his hands together.

"Goodie goodie gum drop!" Demitri slammed his head back against the back of the couch, staring at the ceiling.

"Why me?" Felix began sprinting around the room, getting a strange look from Gianna as she shuffled through her papers, just staring at him.

"Erm, Felix?" At the sound of his name, he stopped and turned to her. He grinned at her with half closed eyes.

"'Ello………baaaaaaybee." He said, slurring his words as he walked slowly over to a shocked Gianna.

"Um, er, ahem…Felix…" He slapped a hand over her mouth, silencing her. She stared at him wide eyed as he knelt before her. "Ahem." She tried to say, suffocating under his hand covering both her mouth and nose.

"Oh baby baby, oh baby baby…" He started to sing, causing Gianna to scream silently. Unable to breath –and beginning to turn blue- Gianna grabbed at his hand, trying to pull it away from her. Gasping for air she shot a quick glance at Demitri, only getting an odd look from him.

Demitri, still confused, shot up when Gianna face took on a purple like color. "FELIX!"

"Whaaaaat?! YOU ARE INTERRUPTING MY BOOTY-FULL SINGING!!!" Felix whined, keeping his hand on Gianna's purple face.

"Felix you're suffocating her!" Demitri yelled, quickly lunging at Felix and ripping his hand away from the poor girl' face. Finally able to breath again, Gianna collapsed against the chair behind her desk. Felix fixed Demitri with a pout, crossing his arms over his chest.

"You meanie! I was singing!" He whined at him like a young kid.

"Yeah well, we can all do without your singing for awhile." Looking offended, Felix did the only thing he could think of at the moment. He blew a raspberry at the guard. In turn, Demitri did the only thing he could think of.

He slapped Felix on the back of the head.

"OWIE! YOU FAT HEAD!" Demitri, looking offended, slapped Felix again. Felix, enraged, stood up and glared at Demitri. Then he slapped him.

Demitri slapped him back.

Felix merely slapped him back.

Demitri slapped Felix again.

Felix slapped Demitri.

Gianna stood up and ran like heck out of the room as the two continued slapping each other. Felix, noticing Gianna was gone, yelled after her.

"NOOOO! Come back mio caro! J'adore toi! J'ADORE TOI!!!" Demitri blinked at him, shaking his head.

"Felix, stick with one language."

"Te odio, te meanie grande!" Felix yelled at him, stomping over to the only not destroyed couch. Demitri just blinked again, trying to figure out if Felix had just sworn at him of not.

"Where'd you learn Spanish and French?"

"……"

"Felix?" He asked again, turning to face the head guard's glare.

"…"

"Felix?"

"………Your mom!" Demitri gaped at him before narrowing his eyes and attacking him.

"YOU LEAVE HER OUT OF THIS!" Felix stuck his tongue out at Demitri, and ran to the other side of the room, screaming like a banshee that had been set on fire.

"Demitri!" Marcus yelled, sticking his head into the room to find Demitri kneeling on the floor and covering his ears with his hands.

"DEMITRI!" He over Felix's cries again, making them both jump. Felix giggled and ran to the window, 'hiding' behind to two foot long curtain.

"You can't see me!! YOU CAN'T SEE ME!" He shouted, giggling again. Demitri just stood up and ran toward the Volturi leader…er.

"What is it?" He whispered to Marcus, shooting a nervous glance at the still giggling sugar high Felix everyone once in awhile.

"You need to come with me. Now." Marcus half growled, half screamed at the guard member who just nodded.

"Okay. Felix," He called to the vampire who was now sticking his head out from behind to curtain.

"Yeees?" He said, trying to sound like that guy that always says 'Yeeeeees?' from The Simpsons.

"Can you just stay there behind that curtain until I come back?" He asked, treating Felix as if he were a two year old.

"Maaaayybee…"

"Felix."

"Yes mommy." He said, giving an annoyed Demitri puppy eyes. Demitri opened his mouth to retort, but was cut off when Marcus grabbed his arm, dragging him behind the large wooden doors.

"Demitri," Marcus started, giving the vampire a worried glance. "Have you seen a white box with a red ribbon on it?" Demitri, who had been expecting something way more important-like a town on fire, an estranged rouge vampire, or even another sugar high crazy person-, narrowed his eyes at Marcus.

"You're kidding right?"

"No, no I'm not. You see, that box was sent to us from Forks for Caius's birthday, and well…" Marcus trailed off, his gaze wandering around the room nervously.

"Well what?"

"……We kind of lost it." Demitri just glared at Marcus again.

"Are you serious? You lost a box?"

"Yes well, it's just important that Felix doesn't go anywhere near it." Marcus said matter-of-factly.

"Why? Is it plans to another nuclear war head from Emmett? Or an Emo Elmo from Jasper?" Marcus now glared at Demitri.

"That's was April Fool's Day, and no that's not what was in the box. It was a box of candies." Demitri frowned, rolling his eyes.

"Candy? CANDY?! What vampire in their right mind gives another vampire candy for their birthday?!" Marcus shrugged, shooting another worried glance around the room.

"It's the thought that counts, and Felix can't be allowed near it given current……circumstances."

"….Do I want to know?" Marcus bit his lip, nodding slightly.

"They're loaded with sugar, just don't let him touch them." Demitri shrugged as both he and Marcus turned back to the door, ready to go out into the lobby like room, trying to ignore the loud Brittany Spears music pounded from the festival on the streets below.

Marcus gasped as they opened the door, and Demitri just shook his head, appalled. Felix had disappeared, and in his place was an empty white candy box. With a red ribbon sitting on the floor next to it.

Demitri, still shaking his head, began to say "Oh……My…" when they both ran to the window, just in time to find Felix standing on a stage singing,

"Hit me baby one more time!"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

See, originally the sugar was wearing off, until Felix came up a white box with a red ribbon sitting on it. Curious and still hyper, Felix devoured every single one of the sugary pieces.

As for the French, Italian, and Spanish used in the story, I figured you might want a translation.

"Mio caro": my dear

"J'adore toi": I love you

"Te odio, te meanie grande!": I hate you, you big meanie

When do they get arrested you ask? You'll just have to find out.

Next Chapter: 'Shakira Shakira!'

Another big thank you to Ame Warashi for letting me write this. :)

--Kate