Chapter 22 – Alan Squared

*NOTE – It's here at last, ladies and gentlemen! An entire year of amazement, adventure and Alan, and here we are with the anniversary chapter. We've been through countless escapades and numerous triumphs and failures, but now we're ready for Alan's biggest challenge yet. Read on and enjoy. It's 'Oddworld: Al's Oddysee!' THANK YOU!*

*WARNING: This chapter contains lethal doses of puzzling stuff. Reading may result in severe confusion. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!*

PROLOGUE

The sun shone down with insurmountable intensity yet again. The air was filled with the gentle tweeting of birds and the occasional squeaking of Fuzzles. I lay in the warmth of the morning light and relaxed myself. Perhaps we could set off a little later today. Then an arm shook me awake. Perhaps not. I got up and looked around at our little campsite. The Mongo River flowed quickly by and the odd fish popped its head up from beneath the shallow water. Dave was already prepared for the day's journey. I went over to him and we had a quick breakfast. Just after we'd finished, he went for a quick wash in the cool river, so I took the opportunity to get myself ready for the long day of walking we were about to endure.

"Alan," a voice came as I gathered up what little possessions I had with me. But it didn't sound like Dave. I glanced around and saw… another Slig.

"Alan Grike?" The Slig said again. I was slightly bewildered by the unexpected arrival.

"Yes," I told the other Slig, "I'm Alan Grike."

"Well, Alan…" he replied, reaching a hand out to shake my own, "Pleased to meet me." I was puzzled by this last statement.

"Don't you mean 'Pleased to meet you'?" I asked.

"Not exactly," The Slig said, and what he said next would be the weirdest thing I'd ever heard. "I'm Alan Grike, too."

CHAPTER 22

It was impossible. It simply couldn't be. He wasn't me; it was some kind of practical joke. Surely.

"I know what you're thinking," said 'Alan'. "You're thinking it's impossible. It simply can't be. I'm not you; it's some kind of practical joke. Surely." It was almost as if he'd read my mind.

"Yes…" I said slowly. "But how did you know?"

"I know because I thought the same thing when I was me. Meeting myself, this bizarre character who ranted on about the time he met himself and how he felt the same as I felt when he'd met himself and… Anyway, it's true. I really am you, Alan." I wasn't sure what to think. Was this kind of technology possible on Oddworld? Because it certainly wasn't back on Earth. How had he gotten here? "Why?"

"Why?" The mysterious other Alan replied. "Because you need help."

"Help?" I inquired. "With what?"

"With getting to Vykkers Labs." He said.

A moment later, I heard the sound of Dave returning from his little wash. He walked up and saw me and… well, me. A puzzled look appeared on his face.

"Hey… Alan." He said slowly. "Ready to go?"

"Yes" We said at the same time.

"So who's this?" He finally asked.

"Hi," I said. Well, I didn't, but… well I suppose I did, but… It was the other Alan, OK?

"Hello," Dave said, reaching out with one hand. "I'm Dave."

"Oh, don't worry. I know who you are, Dave." The other Alan said. "I'm Alan." He took a step towards me and put an arm over my shoulder. Dave squinted, probably comparing our appearances. He suddenly took a step back. He pointed towards us, gibbering non-coherently. Then he passed out.

A half hour later, Alan and I were walking along the Mongo River, with Dave close behind. He was still completely speechless at the thought of two of me, but I was quite enjoying the conversation I was having with myself. I'd discovered that I had actually returned from the future, although I wouldn't tell myself where from. Apparently I didn't want myself to know. I did tell myself that I'd come to help myself get to Vykkers Labs, because we had to be in 'the right place at the right time' to get aboard. Apart from that, I chatted about all sorts of things. The river, the scenery. My adventure from the very day I shot Abe. But the conversation eventually grew weak. Me and Alan fell back a little to talk to Dave, but he wasn't in the mood after fainting that morning. Lunchtime finally came and we sat down to eat.

"So, Alan." I asked myself. "Where about is Vykkers Labs?"

"Well," I replied, "That depends."

"On what?" I asked.

"Never mind." I said. "After lunch, we head right, away from the river. We'll be there in two, three hours tops." Then I leaned back on the ground, so I decided to relax a little as well. Dave remained quiet, and did so until after lunch. When he did speak again, he did so with a cautious tone.

"So…" He asked when the other Alan had walked ahead a little. "You're Alan. And that's Alan."

"That's right." I told him.

"But why?" He said in a whispered voice "Why have you come back from the future to meet us? And where am I? Why didn't you bring me back?"

"How should I know?" I whispered, but with a slight anger in my voice. "Why don't you ask me?"

"I just have." Dave replied. "You said you didn't know!"

"Then ask the other me." The words seemed odd when I said them. Dave nodded, then walked ahead to catch up with me. I couldn't quite hear what he said to me, but a few word were exchanged before I heard myself say, "I don't want to talk about it." Then I walked away from Dave with a look of sorrow on my face. I took the opportunity to catch back up with him and ask him what he'd said.

"Well?" I asked. "Why didn't I bring you back with me?"

"He said he didn't want to talk about it." Dave replied. "You don't think…"

About an hour after that, we were far from the Mongo River. Nobody had spoken since Dave had suggested… what he had. But now, we were close to the foot of an enormous hill. The sides sloped very gently, but the summit was almost above the clouds.

"Well," I said. "Here we are.

"Where?" I asked. It just seemed like an ordinary hill to me. Dave looked equally puzzled. But there was no time for thinking. I had already started walking up the side of the hill.

"There must be something up there." I told Dave. "Otherwise I wouldn't be taking us up there." And with that, I followed myself up the hillside. It may have been a very gentle slope, but the face soon became jagged with rocks and the occasional boulder. I lost my footing and slipped a couple of times, as did me and Dave. But we soon reached the top of the hill.

"Now then," I said. "Why have you brought us up here?" I didn't reply. The other Alan looked out into the distance for a while. The view was beautiful, a sight to behold. Rolling green hill, the intricate meanders of the Mongo River. Nestled into the furthest mountains was the ominous Sekto Springs Dam. And on the horizon was a ship. Then it all clicked. It was Vykkers Labs.

The mighty sky fortress rolled towards the hill where Dave, Alan and I stood. As it got closer, I could see that there was no kind of identification number or anything on the hull of the eponymous craft. A low bar hung from the lowest part of the base, and the whole thing spun slowly as it hovered through the air.

"You guys ready?" I asked. Me and Dave looked at each other in confusion. Suddenly, a biting wind began to sweep across the hill. As the airship slid closer to us, the breeze emanating from it intensified. The other Alan had leaned down and emptied out all of his belongings, then picked them all back up, as if he was checking he'd not lost anything. Then he stood back up and I said to myself, "We've gotta jump."

"Jump?!" I said, yelling now above the wind and the roar of the engines. "Onto what?" I pointed to the low-hanging bar on the ship's base.

"Just try to grab that!" I yelled to Dave and myself. The ship had now moved so close that nothing at all could be heard over its engines. I saw myself step back, then run and jump straight towards the ship. I followed suit, doing the same run and jump. I gripped the bar firmly with both hands, then me and I shouted to Dave to do the same. He stood motionlessly on the hill, and the ship dwarfed him completely. As I continued to yell, the ship hovered right over his head. Silently, he reached up with both arms and the bar slid itself between his hands. I felt slightly embarrassed by the fact that I didn't really have to jump at all, but when I looked back at myself, I didn't seem to mind. Then, over the excruciatingly loud noise of the engines came a scraping sound. I looked up and saw that a small hatch above us was slowly opening. Of course, it was the Poop Chute.

I saw myself reach up and grab one of the doors as it swung open. Dave did the same, and then I did as well. When we had all let go of the bar under the ship, an immeasurable amount of rubbish cam pouring out of the Poop Chute above. Discarded crisp packets, fruit peelings, you name it. Then the doors began to close again, and we all dragged ourselves up until our entire bodies were pressed against their rigid surfaces. I looked down and caught a final glimpse of the ground below, before the doors slammed with a thunderous crash. Then everything went dark.

A soft, red light began to flash slowly as I fumbled around for something to grab. I found the wall, and used it to drag myself up. The other Alan pulled out a torch and flicked it on. Dave soon found the handle of a door, and pulled it open. He glanced out, then quietly closed it again, a look of fear on his face. He turned back to me and myself.

"There are Vykkers out there. Lots of Vykkers." I went up to the door and looked out quickly, in the same way Dave just had. The laboratory was filled with Vykkers, walking around with caged Fuzzles, syringes and meat cleavers. There were a couple of Interns, too. I spotted a fire alarm at the far side of the room. If we could press that, the workers would evacuate and we could head in. But how could we get to that side of the room?

I turned back to Dave. "Can't you possess one of them?" I asked. He shook his head.

"Not when there's a door between us and them. And I can hardly sneak out there, can I?"

"He's right." I told myself. I walked over and patted myself on the back. I leaned in and said to myself. "You'd have to be invisible to get in there." Then it all made sense.

"Dave," I said in a hurry. "Can you chant so that I turn invisible, without possessing me?"

"I could try." He replied. "But where did you get invisibility from?"

"Long story." The other Alan replied for me. "But you can do it, Dave. I know you can because you did it for me when I was here. I know I'm here now, but I mean I was… I was here, but I wasn't me… I mean, I was me…" I sighed. "Just do it." Dave obeyed, and began to chant. The light of the blue particles around him were twice as bright as my torch. I held a hand up to my face, and saw it disappear before me. It had worked. I was invisible. But I knew that it wouldn't last long. I had to get a move on.

I pried the door open and ran across the laboratory. Vykkers tripped and Interns slipped as I sprinted past them. I almost collided with the opposite wall before I skidded to a halt. I pressed the fire alarm, then turned and ran back. Sirens began to blare and Vykkers and Interns alike left the lab through a pair of double doors at one side. I regrouped with myself and Dave, and we waited until the entire room was completely empty.

Dave was the first to step out. He wandered around, observing the technology around the room. I was next, followed by myself. We all took a minute or two to look around.

"So, this is it?" I finally asked. "Vykkers Labs 25?"

"Well…" I replied. "No." Dave and I turned to face him.

"No?" Dave said. "Then where are we?"

"This is Vykkers Labs 13." I told us. Dave turned red with anger.

"Well why did you bring us here?" He spoke calmly, but he seemed incredibly tense.

"I can't say anything." I said. "You aren't allowed to know. You have to find out for yourself. I pulled out a shiny remote controller and pressed a button on its surface. "Here," I assured myself. "Take this." I handed me a note with a few words scribbled on it. "Don't read it until… Well, you'll know." The other Alan began to fade, just like I had when I'd become invisible. Dave looked at the floor in deep thought. I was teleporting.

I continued to fade out of existence, until only my face was still visible. Dave stood by my side and yelled at me.

"Hey, wait a minute!" He shouted. "You can't just leave! You haven't told us enough. Where are you from? Why did you come here!"

"I've already told you too much." I said, now only my visor visible as the rest of my body shifted out of existence. "You'll understand soon."

"But…" I yelled to myself. "What happened to Dave? Why didn't you bring him with you?" So many questions buzzed in my head.

"He…" I replied, with a somber tone in my voice. "He…" And then I was gone.

Neither Dave nor I spoke for long after that. We weren't sure what we were going to do next. We had no idea why I'd come back from the future, or where from. But one thing was certain. And it was killing us both.

"I know." Dave finally said, sitting down on the hard laboratory floor. "So do you, don't you?"

"Yes." I replied. "But it can't be. Dave, it can't happen." Since the moment I'd met him, Dave had been a kind, gentle Mudokon who looked out for everyone just as he did himself. I couldn't let it happen.

"No." Dave said, in a dignified voice. "You can't stop it. It's a fixed point in time, right? It's already going to happen, whatever you do." Tears began to well in the Mudokon's eyes. I found myself doing the same.
"Alan?" Dave asked. "Can you promise me one thing?"

"What is it?" I asked. Dave stood and wiped the tears from his face. He stood proudly. He smiled at me and chuckled slightly. Then he said one last thing.

"Make it good, Alan." He said. "Make my death good."

*NOTE – So, how about that? You thought things were Odd in the first place? Well, they just got a whole lot worse. New questions need to be asked now, people. What happens to Dave? Why did Alan come back? Will Abe ever be saved? This has been the anniversary chapter, and I hope that you have all enjoyed reading it. But the story is not over. Come back next time, folks. There'll be more 'Oddworld: Al's Oddysee'! THANK YOU!*