Only a Dad, But the Best of Men
A.N.
Chapter title from Edgar Guest's poem, "Only a Dad."
WARNING: This chapter also deals with stillbirth.
You know how I promised some more fluff? Yeah, I lied.
It's also worth noting that I don't have the faintest clue when it comes to child development. I'm not really a kid person.
When she was told of her third pregnancy, she felt her stomach drop.
Eva was a little over a year old now, and healthy. Peggy thanked God for that fact every evening.
At the same time, Peggy had managed to convince herself that along with being her second chance, Eva would be the only chance offered.
Yet, Dr. Paulson was standing in front of Peggy saying congratulations. Peggy gave the old doctor her thanks, and a smile that wasn't nearly as strong as she was hoping it would be.
Peggy lightly closed the door to Eva's room behind her. It was nearly two in the morning, but for some reason sleep was evading the mother.
Turning to tiptoe to the bedroom she shared with Daniel, Peggy couldn't help but let out a quiet gasp. Her husband was leaning against the door frame of their room, his eyes far more awake than Peggy was expecting.
"What's wrong, Peg?" Daniel murmured, not moving from where he was holding himself against the door.
"Nothing's wrong, Daniel," Peggy quietly chuckled, stepping towards her husband. "How long have you been awake?"
"Since you left," Daniel replied dismissively. "You know," he quickly continued, "sometimes I wonder how you ever managed to fool me during the Stark situation; I can read you like a book."
Peggy paused, before taking the final step towards her husband. "Lets go to bed, Daniel - I'll tell you in the morning." She reached for her husband's hand, lightly leading him to their bed.
"Please, Peg... Tell me what's wrong," Daniel whispered as Peggy reached his side of the bed.
Peggy replied without looking backwards. "At least lay back down in bed, Daniel."
Climbing in from her husband's side, Peggy quickly moved to the center of the bed, turning onto her other side once she reached her destination. She watched in silence as Daniel got back into their bed and moved to meet her in the middle.
Neither said anything for several minutes. Instead, they looked into each other's eyes, trying to suss out what the other was thinking.
Daniel's hand unconsciously moved into his wife's curls, gently pulling her head against his shoulder. Peggy was surprised to feel the shoulder of his nightshirt dampen.
"What's wrong, Peggy... What's got you so worked up?" Daniel murmured into her curls.
"We're... We're having another baby," Peggy said, her words muffled by his shoulder.
Peggy felt Daniel's chest jerk with a gasp. "That's wonderful, Peggy! Lord, that's... wonderful!" He was obviously incredibly happy, and Peggy wished she didn't have to be the bearer of bad news. "Why are you crying, Peggy? You've mentioned wanting another..."
"I know, and I do. But... I can't help but think of little Theresa... What if we lose this one, too?"
Daniel paused, before turning his gaze to his wife. He hadn't expected that response - after all, they had Eva now. He had hoped that Peggy's fears would have been chased away with Eva. Of course, now that he and Peg were having another, he realized how foolish that had been. He could feel the familiar fluttering of fear in his chest.
Focusing instead on his wife, Daniel pulled her closer. "We'll do the same as we did last time: fight tooth and nail to prevent it from happening."
"Hush little baby..." Daniel sang, pacing across one of the large living room of Stark's mansion with Eva cradled against his shoulder with one arm. Hearing the doorknob turn, he watched as Peggy stepped in.
"Hello, Daniel," she whispered, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "And hello Eva," she continued, pressing a kiss to her daughter's curls.
"How are you feeling?" Daniel asked, trying not to let his worry be to obvious. Peggy was nearing the third month, and so far she had been far more easily worn out than she had been with Theresa or Eva.
"Quiet alright, Daniel. I just needed to get away from Stark and his ego."
Daniel could tell Peggy was lying; her eyes were drooping and she was swaying lightly on her feet.
"Let's get you to a chair..." he murmured, trying to maneuver his wife, his daughter, and himself to the sofa. It took nearly a minute, but he managed to bring the three of them to the destination.
"I hate this," Peggy said quietly, all but collapsing onto the couch, bring her stockinged feet to rest on the leather.
"What?" Daniel asked, levering himself onto the couch with Eva still in his arm.
"All of this... Being so exhausted, so often... Not being able to hold Eva because it 'might strain me'... Watching you struggle with both a toddler and an invalid wife... Take your pick."
"Well, if you want to know what I hate, it's seeing you so rundown. I don't mind taking care of both you and Eva, Peg. I'm just... terrified that something might happen to you or the baby."
"I am, too," Peggy murmured, resting her head on her husband's shoulder and closing her eyes.
"Try to get some rest, Peggy," Daniel murmured, placing Eva on his other side and setting a pillow on the edge, creating a barrier between her and the floor.
"I really aught to go rejoin the other's... Edwin has probably strangled Howard by now. Hell, Anna probably helped..."
"Don't worry about Stark. I think that self-importance of his acts as a shield."
Peggy gave a tired smile, moving her head to Daniel's lap - he was glad she was on the left and didn't have to deal with the prosthetic. Daniel let his left hand start carding through his wife's curls while his right rested gently on Eva's chest.
When Anna had called to say that Peggy had gone into labor with Theresa, Daniel had been terrified.
This time, it was worse.
He'd been at the office for all of an hour when he got the call. He hadn't wanted to go to work, but something had happened that required more than the Colonel and Thompson. When he'd left the apartment, Angie had been waving Eva's hand in goodbye while Peggy continued to sleep in their bedroom. Daniel had gotten to the office, heard what Thompson and the Colonel knew, and felt himself wishing his wife hadn't made him second in command. He'd just settled at his desk to start making calls when a pale faced Thompson opened his door.
"Sousa, Angie called... She's at the hospital..."
And that was how Daniel found himself sitting by a hospital bed occupied by his wife. He was incredibly thankful for Angie; the actress had taken one look at Daniel before saying she would take Eva home with her to Elliot. Daniel had simply given a manic nod before asking for Peggy's room number.
Daniel didn't pray very often; he'd been so furious with the man after the War that he'd all but refused. He'd eventually accepted God back into his heart, but he still didn't pray nearly as often as his mother would have liked.
Daniel prayed now.
He prayed all of the things he should have prayed before. He thanked God for his wife, his daughter, his life. He prayed to God not to take his wife - Peggy had so much left to do here. He prayed that whatever it was that was affecting her was curable - the thought of watching as his bright and vibrant wife faded away terrified him. He prayed that Eva wouldn't have to grow up without a parent - he knew how hard that was. He prayed that his baby would be safe - that whatever was wearing away at Peggy wasn't hurting their child.
"Daniel...?" A familiar voice rasped. Daniel's head shot up, seeing that his wife was awake.
"Oh, graças a Deus..." Daniel whispered, pressing his lips against his wife's. He could feel tears welling in his eyes, but he couldn't bring himself to care. "Assustou-me... Você me apavorava, amada..." He continued against her lips. "Por favor, não me deixe."
"As beautiful as the language sounds," Peggy said, her voice still breathy, "not understanding what you are saying is far from enjoyable..."
Daniel chuckled, pulling himself away from Peggy. "It was nothing important..."
"You say that, but you tend to save your native language for when you're upset..." Peggy paused, glancing around the room. "Why am I in the hospital?"
Peggy was sent home a few days later. Dr. Paulson had said she was to stay off her feet; that she would most likely be put on bed rest nearer the birth.
"Good lord, four months of sitting around, reading..." Peggy muttered, settling onto the couch. "This is akin to hell."
"Don't worry," Daniel said, pulling his book of poems off the shelf. "This will have to do for now, but I'll see if I can't sneak home some of the good stuff."
Peggy smiled fondly at the book in his hands; she still could remember reading to him years ago, when they were in Europe and the world at war. "Well... I suppose I can suffer through a few poems." They both paused, smiling at the other and reminiscing.
A knock on the door brought Daniel's attention back to the present. Moving to the door, he smiled as he opened it to see Elliot, Angie, and his Eva.
"Boneca..." Daniel murmured, reaching for his daughter and smiling at her. Eva reached towards her father, making grabbing motions with her hands. "How have you been?"
"Fine for the first few hours," Angie said, her own eyes speaking volumes as she passed the toddler to her father. "Started bawling after that, obviously wondering where you two were. Thank God Elliot got home then; I swear, the man's a baby whisperer. I don't mind it now when we're just babysitting, but knowing my luck he's gonna start begging for one of his own." Angie turned to Peggy, masking her mouth with her hand and whispering loudly. "I'll probably just buy him dog; I need to keep my figure!"
Peggy chuckled at her friends antics, but quickly turned her focus back to her daughter. "How are you, Eva?" She asked, a slight look of pain in her eyes. She gestured for Daniel to join her on the couch, and watched with anticipation as he complied to her wish. Angie moved to the armchair while her husband grabbed the desk chair, moving it towards the coffee table and straddling it.
As soon as Daniel had sat down next to his wife, Eva tried to launch herself at her mother. Daniel only just managed to hold onto her, but that only managed to upset Eva.
"Hush," Peggy soothed, taking her daughters hand. "It's alright, Eva..."
Peggy watched helplessly as her daughter's face turned red. The doctor had told her to avoid lifting her daughter as that might be too strenuous.
"Mama..." Eva muttered, her brow furrowing.
"Daniel..." Peggy said, her eyes flicking to her husbands. She imagined that her face held a similar expression of shock to what she saw on his.
Daniel's face was the first to break into a smile, while his free hand moved to grasp Peggy's. He felt as if his face might split, but he truly didn't care.
"I can't believe it..." Angie whispered, her eyes misting over. She had never imagined that she would be present when Eva spoke her first words. Looking away from the toddler and towards her husband, she gave him a watery grin. "Alright, maybe one..." She murmured.
Daniel brushed his wife's hair behind her ear gently, his face holding an expression of tenderness.
The nurses had just let Daniel into Peggy's room, smiling at him as she rolled a blue bundle out of the room. She'd even given Daniel a few moments with his new son, before explaining she needed to take him to the nursery. Daniel had watched as the nurse moved back down the hallway.
"Did you have a chance to meet our little Harvey," Peggy asked, her voice a faint whisper.
"I did, and Peg... He's perfect."
"Good... Good..." Peggy was fighting to stay awake.
"Go to sleep, amada…" Daniel murmured, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Go to sleep…"
A.N.
Translations - please correct me if I'm wrong, I don't mind. I most likely am.
Graças a Deus = Thank God
Assustou-me... Você me apavorava. = Scared me... You terrified me.
Amada = Sweetheart
Por favor, não me deixe. = Please, don't leave me.
Boneca = Doll or Poppet
I want to take a moment to give a special shout-out to fellow Peggysous fan, gremlin44. She was instrumental in much of the writing in this; she's a mother and was helpful with... Well, all the mother-y stuff. I have very little maternal instinct, so having a fellow shipper I could bounce ideas off of was very nice. I tend to drive my own mother nuts with the constant character talk...
Not only is gremlin44 a wealth of information, she's also a writer. Since you've reached the end of this fic, I'd like to suggest you check out hers!