We're getting... so, so, so close to the end. I'm both glad to be done and already missing writing this, if that makes sense.
To 17: I think you're my longest-lasting reviewer. At least, you're the most consistent! You've been here since at least chapter 17! I'd like to give you something for sticking with me for so long. If you would like, please let me know if there's a DP story idea (or an idea from some other fandom I've written for before) you would really like to see written, and I will do my best! :3
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Chapter 316: What's Next? No More Love Triangles, Hopefully…
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"That's… everything?" asked Alicia.
"More or less," said Danny. "I mean, the reality of it all is more complicated than what you can fit in over a King Burger and a Royal Shake." He stole a fry off of Tucker's plate.
"Hey," said Tucker, lazily swiping at Danny. "I'll curse you with sand."
Danny snorted. "With sand?"
"Yeah, I can do that, now," said Tucker. "Once I realized that it was all just silicon, it made a lot more sense."
"Is it all just silicon?"
"It's like… fifty percent, I think? It's mostly quartz, anyway."
"Even here?"
"Look, Danny, I figured out a way to make magic work for me, okay? Don't mess me up."
Danny shrugged, then looked back at Alicia. "Anyway, yeah. That's pretty much it."
"You're much calmer about it than I thought you'd be."
"Well," said Danny, shrugging uncomfortably. "It's… you're family. You kind of deserve to know. For closure. Is closure the right term?" he asked Jazz.
"It's close enough," said Jazz. "I think we're going to have to invent a whole new set of terminology for… all of this."
Danny grinned. "And you're looking forward to it, aren't you?"
"It'd be a good thesis if I wasn't already working on my Ghost Envy paper. Which will probably get a lot more data soon…"
Danny nodded. Honestly, the Ghost Envy stuff had always low-key disturbed him, because at the end it was about… really wanting to be a ghost… and… yeah. Yep. Not great things, overall. But Jazz was very enthusiastic about it. The research, that was.
Yeah.
Speaking of discomfort, Alicia looked pretty uncomfortable, too.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"I should be asking you that," said Alicia. "But… Have you got bathrooms up around here?"
"Pretty sure, yeah." He pointed in the general direction he thought they should be in, and the half of the booth past Aunt Alicia started the laborious process of scooting over to let her out of the booth. Some inconveniences, even death couldn't erase – flying up out of the booth would be rude. No one liked it when you dangled your feet over their food, no matter that it wouldn't kill them.
But Aunt Alicia didn't go to where Danny had pointed. Instead, she walked up to the counter.
"Hey," she said, "do y'all have bathrooms?"
Vlad irritably stabbed his finger in the same direction Danny had pointed. Maddie shot Alicia a warning glare over Vlad's shoulder. Danny leaned forward, interested in where all this would go.
"Huh? What? I can't hear you over all that boilin' grease."
Vlad hadn't said anything, so that was a bit of a non-sequitur. Danny was beginning to see Alicia's plan.
"They're over there," said Vlad, enunciating his words very carefully.
"What?"
"Over there!"
"You're going to have to come closer."
Vlad looked deeper into the kitchen, presumably at Jack or the Dairy King. He must have gotten some kind of encouragement from them because he came out from the back to talk to Alicia.
She punched Vlad right across the face.
"You know what that's for," she said, before heading in the direction of the bathrooms for real.
"No, I don't!" said Vlad.
"That's just 'cause there's so many things to choose from," mumbled Tucker, stealing French fries from his mom, as Danny had stolen the last of his.
"Would starting a slow clap be considered gauche?" asked Pamela.
Ida started applauding.
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"So, what's next?" asked Sam.
"Finishing the Solstice preparations," said Danny.
"There's not actually all that much left to do," said Nephthys, sipping at her… drink. Potion. Crime against good taste. Sam suppressed her instinctive grimace, but it was hard. She'd seen what Nephthys had put in that cup, and it wasn't pretty. "Everything is in place."
"It would be troubling if they weren't," said Clockwork. "After all, the Solstice is tomorrow."
"Shortest day of the year," said Ida. "You know, I've been wondering about that. Why do ghosts care about something like that?"
"Remember," said Nephthys, pointing her straw at Ida, "it's not just the shortest, it's also the longest. There's symmetry." She stuck the straw in her mouth and pulled the lid off her cup before starting to crunch on the ice. "There's transformation. We're big on that." Crunch. "Well, I am, in any case."
"But it's not here, is it? It's there, back on Earth."
"What, do you think here and there are separate? Souls have to get across. Beliefs get across. Sun and shadow. Fire and frost. Buuuuut so do weather conditions. And other things. Bits of reality, of substance."
"That's just about as vague as that one protest organizer I knew in Boston.
"A bad thing, I take it?"
"Almost got us all arrested."
"Mom."
"Oh, pooh, Jeremy, no one here is going to be scandalized. I'm sure they've all done much worse. Honestly, who here hasn't been arrested at least once?"
Jazz, Nephthys, and all the clones except for David raised their hands. Sam leaned across the table.
"What did you do?" she asked.
"It was a misunderstanding?" they suggested.
"I'm more interested in how Aunt Nephthys didn't get arrested," said Danny.
"Really?" asked Nephthys. "Who's going to arrest me? The Ancient Master of Death?"
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"We're still getting reports of this—this tractor grim reaper character chasing people down?" asked the Washington DC chief of police.
"Uh," said his second in command. "Yes."
"You don't think it could be one of those ghosts?"
"Anything's possible, but why would they do anything like that? They're working on a treaty, aren't they?"
"Why do ghosts do anything?" asked the chief. "Anyway, on the off chance that they are human, I want to get a warrant out for their arrest."
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"Anyway," said David, "it's time for me to go."
"Huh? What?" said Nocturne, jostling from his sleep. "You're going?"
"Yeah," said David, briefly switching into human form, revealing a suit with long, dress-like tails. "I've got a date in Amity Park. With Paulina, remember?"
"Oh, gosh," said Sam, "I keep forgetting that's a thing." She covered her face with one hand. "Wow."
"Hey," said David, "she's great. She's cool."
"She is cool," agreed Danny.
"She's just—" said Sam, "She's—" She threw her hands up. "I can't even argue! She's better than she was, anyway." She rubbed her eyes. "She's downright reliable, now… I'm relying on her… What is the world coming to?"
"It's, uh," said Danny, "becoming a better place?" He shrugged.
"Ughhhhhh."
"It's better, right?"
"Yeah, I can't really see us all being friends again, either," said Tucker, "but it is better."
"Well, forever is a long time," said Danny.
"Yeah, yeah," said David, waving their hands and returning to ghost form. "But I need to go. Let me out, let me out."
They repeated the squeezing out of the booth act, and let David go. David then spent a several minutes fluffing their hair, much to the heckling of all his siblings. However, David chose Danny to stick their tongue out at. Danny stuck his tongue out right back.
David rolled their eyes. "Are you guys coming later or am I going to represent the whole royal family at this ball?"
"Is it a ball, though?" asked Damien, resting his chin on his fist. "I got the impression that it wasn't nearly that fancy."
"Close enough," said David. "It'll be my human world debut. And if I'm there, it's fanciness increases by an order of magnitude."
"Yes?" said Nocturne, somewhat slyly. "And what if the rest of us come?"
"Well, my awesomeness can only do so much. Bye-bye, don't let your lack of cool keep you from coming."
"Hey, where're they going?" asked Aunt Alicia.
"Hot date," said Nephthys.
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So. The American ambassador and his party were getting a tour of the city. Only the best parts. The parts that had been improved instead of destroyed over the last few months. But the president hadn't come into Amity, which was lame of him. He'd totally wimped out of a major historical event. What a loser.
On the other hand, Paulina had a date tonight.
A great date.
(She hoped.)
She was waiting for them to show up. And if they were the second political figure to wimp out of a major historical event, she was going to commit a murder. Somehow. It'd be justified.
But they wouldn't do that to her. They were coming to pick her up. Any minute now.
"Ugh," she said, draping herself over her couch (carefully, so she wouldn't mess up her hair). "Why are they so late?"
"It's over half an hour early, dear," said Paulina's father, who was busy sharpening his knives. And his machete. And his sword. "I'm sure he'll get here soon." The last was said at almost a growl.
"Uh huh," said Paulina. "Does my makeup still look right?"
"You look wonderful, dear."
"Uh huh."
There was a knock on the door. Paulina bounced off the couch, but her father got to the door first.
"You David?"
"Yes. Uh, wow, you are really tall."
"You'll get Paulina home by eleven."
"Oh, is that one of those curfew things?"
"Eleven."
"Uh, yes, sir," said David. "Can I see Paulina now?"
"Don't you mean may you see—"
"Daddy," said Paulina, tapping her father so he would move. "I've got to go. And you need to put away your knives. You're supposed to be coming, too."
"Mph," said her father, stepping to the side. "Eleven."
"We know, Daddy," said Paulina. "So, where are we going first?"
"I was thinking we could take a flight," said David, "and then—"
Her father whirled around. "Absolutely not."
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Sarah, Mia, Mikey, and Star waited in front of the mall. It was still a bit early, but they didn't want to miss the movie. The 'real' party, the one the whole city had been invited to, wouldn't start for a few more hours and they were killing time by having a proper date. Not a double date. A triple date.
"Do you see them, yet?" asked Mia.
"No," said Mikey, who was nervously tapping his foot on the ground behind him. This was his first date with Star, their test to see if they were better as just friends or more than friends, and he was nervous.
"Are your glasses not working for you?" asked Sarah. "Those are an older pair, aren't they?"
"Yeah, but they should be the same prescription…" She took them off and cleaned them on her shirt. "They're good enough, but they're kind of scratched up, so sometimes stuff looks weird." She shrugged. "That's why I like contacts, but we're not exactly getting them anymore."
"Maybe we will, after this," said Star. "If we're a protectorate, now, we should still have open trade, right?"
The other three shrugged. Just about everyone in town had at least tried to read the treaty that made Amity Park a co-protectorate, but it was long and full of legal jargon that few people were equipped to understand.
"Well, maybe we can get some stuff from the ghosts. Contacts have been around for, like, forever, right?"
"Leonardo da Vinci is the first person to propose the concept," said Mikey, "but I don't think any were actually made until eighteen eighty-seven."
"How do you just know things like that?" asked Sarah.
Mikey shrugged. "When I first got glasses I looked into them," he said, "but it turns out putting something in your eye is… um… of course, you do it all the time, Mia, but, uh."
"It's not for everyone," said Mia. She put her glasses back on. "That's not much better…"
"Hey," said Star, "what's that?"
"Where?" asked Mikey.
"Up in the sky."
"A bird?" suggested Mia.
"A ghost," said Sarah. "Oh my gosh, I think it's them."
Indeed, a minute or two later, Paulina and David had landed in front of the mall.
"You didn't tell us you'd be flying," said Star.
"For a moment, I didn't think we would be," said David, brushing some hair away from their face. "Paulina, does your father know how to use those knives?"
"I mean, yeah? Why would he have them if he didn't? Knives are expensive, but Daddy loves to cook."
"For fighting, I mean."
"Oh, sure. He stabbed a couple of Guys in White, you know?"
"Ah," said David.
"Don't worry," said Star. "Pauli's dad is always vaguely homicidal towards her boyfriends. Friends. Dates. Anyway, are you ready for the movie? I'm prepared to cheer every time Magneto kills someone from the government." The new X-Men movie had come out in May, but between everything (everything including the mall getting trashed several times over the summer) none of them had seen it yet.
"Isn't that rather politically incorrect? We did just sign a treaty, yes?"
"Don't care. Obviously, Magneto was right."
"He was going to commit reverse genocide, though," Sarah pointed out.
"That's true," said Mikey, backing up Star, "but from his perspective—"
Paulina cleared her throat. "Let's go get the tickets, okay?"
Like everywhere else in town, much of the mall had been reclaimed, repurposed, and redistributed. In the early days of isolation from the rest of the Earth, people had needed the things in the mall, so most of the stock had been claimed by the fledgling government and handed out on a must-have basis. After the ghost merchants had started coming, they'd needed a place to set up and, well. The mall was there. Humans had come in, too, the steadfast organizers and booth-holders of the Amity Park Swap Meet and the farmer's market. Now, the inside of the mall looked like a strange combination of its old self and a bazaar from a fantasy movie.
But the movie theater had stayed mostly the same, even if some of the concessions had gotten really weird and they had new employees. People had to have entertainment.
"Hey, guys no longer in white," said Mia in greeting.
"Oh, uh," said former agent K, who was indeed no longer wearing white. Or sunglasses. Or an earpiece. "Hi. And… Hi, Phantom."
"I'm not Danny," said David, cheerfully failing to clear anything up. "We'd like six tickets to X-Men, please."
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"Hm," said Star, afterward. "That ending was… Hm."
"Are there really two others of these?" asked David.
"The others are much better," Mikey reassured him.
"I always forget how much emphasis they put on the stupid love triangle. I hate those kinds of love triangles," said Mia, slurping at her soda. "You are married to someone else."
"Like, Cyclops was dead at the time," said Sarah, suppressing laughter.
"I don't care," mumbled Mia.