DAY ONE: 5:00 P.M.
The introductions had ended, and now all of the guests were seatd in the living room. It was a particularly odd room. For one thing, there were no lanterns or candles lighting it, instead there were little balls of what looked to be captured lightning hang in little globes on the ceiling. In the corner, sat on a desk, was something like a big plastic box, and in front of it was a board with keys of numbers and letters, that were all out of order. Ponder seemed eager to get to it, but they'd all been instructed to take a seat and wait patiently. They had all been seated in front of what looked to be a much larger version of the box in the corner, only this one didn't have a board with keys. It was powered by a magic wand with numbers on it, wich they had been told not to touch, just yet.
After about ten minues of an awkward silence, the housemates either glaring at one another or staring confusedly at the blank screen of the box, it suddenly flashed on to reveal an image of MiMi, their overenthusiastic hostess. She was, of course, smiling.
"Good afternoon, houseguests!!" she said, "Welcome to the Ankh-Morpork Survivor's Mansion!!"
"We ain't deaf, ya know," this was the voice of Granny Weatherewax, "Ya don't need to be shoutin'"
"'Ere, what is this thing?" said Nobby, poking at the box.
"Nobby, knock that off," said Angua.
"Yes, Nobby, please," said MiMI, before continuing on, "Anyway, you'll see that there are things in this house that are different than the things you're used to. For your convienence, all of these things have been labeled with their proper names" She pointed above her head to the label on the box which read: Tea-Vea. "You are permitted to use these things at anytime during your stay. And always be prepared for a surprise Task, because remember, any task you fail to complete will result in a punishment. Now, you're first task is to do this: pick a room!!" As one, all the houseguests grabbed their luggage, and all ran off in different directions, except for Vetinari, who simply got up and walked away, and Vimes who was still sitting and glaring at the Tea-Vee screen.
"What's the point of this whole ridiculous game?" he said suspiciously. The image of MiMi smiled.
"Don't you worry your pretty little head about that, commander. And be careful of what you say and do, because remember that anyone paying to watch this show sees it all," she said, "Now, you go and select a bedroom, or you'll get stuck with whatever's left!!" with that, the sreen blinked off, and Vimes was left alone in the room. Grumbling to himself, he picked up his luggage and walked off to find somewhere to stay.
Not really caring, he picked a bedroom at random and opened the door. Inside revealed Vetinari standing at a desk, and unpacking his luggage.
"Hello, commander," he said. Vimes instantly shut the door and hurried off. The next room he came to was at the other side of the mansion, (for some reason, the whole thing was just one story high, why they were calling it a mansion was beyond him), he opened the door only to end up with a pillow instantly thrown in his face, forcing him out.
"Ay, dont' ya know yer supposed to knock before entering the ladies' room?" came the voice of Nanny Ogg.
From the hallway, he could hear Angua laughing at him. He automatically assumed that Granny Weatherwax was in there with them. Rubbing his face where the throw pillow had hit him, (what? you didn't know those things were actually meant for throwing?), Vimes stormed down the hall to the next room. He opened the door to reveal that this one had three beds, as well. These, unfortuneately, were already occupied by the wizards. Ponder was trying to get comfortable in his hammock, Rincewind looked as if he was trying no to let the fold-out bed suck him in, and Ridcully already seemed to be fast asleep on his, apparently normal, bed. Before he could let anyone explain anything, Vimes shut the door, and continued on to the last room. He opened the door to reveal a room with twin beds. One was thankfully empty. The other was occupied by Captain Carrot, who was cheerfully unpacking his bag. He looked up at the sound of the door opening.
"Oh, good afternoon, sir," he said, smiling. At that moment, something fell from the ceiling and onto the empty bed.
"Ha! Told ya I could jump from the fan without killin' myself," said Nobby. Vimes rolled his eyes and shout the door. Sometimes it was better not to ask questions. Pinching the bridge of his nose, Vimes dragged his luggage back down the hall.
"Hello, again, commander." Vimes ignored Vetinari as he walked into the room and shut the door behind himself. Walking over to the bunkbeds, he put his luggage onto the bottom bunk, because it was really no question who was going to sleep on top.