DAY TWO: 7:00 A.M.

Vimes woke up, but he kept his eyes closed. It was just one of those mornings where, all else set aside, you just felt like staying in bed. As he lay there, he experienced those first few moments of the morning where the subject has little to memory of the previous night. He breathed deeply as he enjoyed the blissfulness of it all...

BRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...and then it all came flooding back...

The situation following the alarm could be described in one word: Chaos

The houseguests were running all around the house, panicking at the thought of there being a fire in a house with doors locked on the inside. Except for Vimes, who knew better, Vetinari, who was just like that, Granny, likewise, and Rincewind, who was repeatedly running into the wall because his hat was still covering his eyes from wehen he went to bed.

Vimes flopped down onto the sofa and watched as the chaos ensued. The mayhem still continued for about five minutes after the deafening ring stopped, which was followed by everyone standing around, and generally looking confused. After a few moments, a voice seemed to come from some hidden device in the ceiling.

"Good morning, houseguests!!" There was only one voice they all knew who could somehow manage to smile via audio. "I hope you enjoyed your wake up call!!

"Ya nearly blew me eardrums out," said Nanny, now digging in her ear.

"Why the hell did you blast a bloody alarm at us?!" shouted Vimes.

"Couldn't you have simply yelled for us to wake up?" inquired Carrot.

"That would have deafened all of Ankh-Morpork," mummbled Angua. There seemed to be a pause on the other end of the line.

"...This was more fun?" came the voice of MiMi innocently. "Anyway, listen up, 'cause it's time for your first task!!"

"What? Now?" said Nobby.

"We just got here yesterday," said Ponder.

"You're lucky I let you go this long," said MiMi, "You think the good people of Ankh-Morpork are paying just to watch you people sit around all day?" At this, everyone in the room immediately tried to find something about anyone in Ankh-Morpork that could fit around the word 'good.' Except for Carrot who, of course, believed every word of it. Even from MiMi's side, there seemed to be a doubtful silence.

"...Indeed," said Vetinari.

"Anyway," she continued on, "Here is your task:" at this, she cleared her throat and began to talk as if she were a first-grader reciting something for the class.

"It's nearly Hogswatch, and to celebrate this joyous time, until Hogswatch day, you must all speak in rhyme!!" The silence that hit was harder than a brick.

"What?!"

"You heard me, Vimesy, and don't think too little of it, 'cause whoever breaks the chain earns themselves a punishment!!" The line went silent, and after a few moments, the houseguests decided that it must have been turned off. Ridcully was the first to speak up.

"Cheer up, lads," he said, "It might be fun to sound like a Hogswatch card"

"Ridcully,"

"Yes, Vimes?"

"You're such a bastard"

DAY TWO: 9:00 A.M.

'Twas a week before Hogswatch, and as things settled back-'

"What the bloody hell was that?" 'To Vimes, the sound was shrill and full of slander'

"I believe we've acquired a narrator, commander" 'Vimes glared at the patrician, who he thought was truly stuck up, but he didn't realize was -"

"Would you shut the hell up!" 'Deepest apologies to Commander Vimes, but it was MiMi's orders to narrate from time to time'

"I'd rather eat muck, so you can just tell her to stuff it, because I don't give a fu-"

"DUCK!" 'Suddenly, a rogue tomato burst out of the kitchen and flew through the room, where it hit the other wall, and exploded with a BOOM!!'

"Breakfast is ready!" 'came Nanny's call, it appeared that Vimes would get his wish, afterall' "Now, get in here, and don't be givin' me any cheek" 'Vimes sighed as everyone filed past and into the rioom. It was going to be a long week...'

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That's it for now, I'm afraid I had to cut this chapter a but short. I'll be posting a few more chapters before the holidays, before I take a break.

Also, I was debating whether or not to incorporate a narrator, but I couldn't think of any other way to make the task work