DAY ELEVEN: 10:00 A.M.
It was the mother of hangovers. That's all that need be said. It was all that could be said 'cause anything said above half a decibel was like a sonic boom to the ears of most of the houseguests. They were all still in bed, that, of course, was about to be fixed...
"WILL ALL HOUSEGUESTS PLEASE REPORT TO THE LIVING ROOM!!"
The first to respond was Rincewind, who's reaction was running into the room and banging his head several times on the wall. The others half stumbled, half fell in and more or less collapsed on the furniture.
"Rincewind, take the hat off of your eyes," said Vimes, who had actually gotten a good night's sleep and seemed to be the livliest person in the room. Certainly not the livliest voice in the room, because an airhorn couldn't top MiMi's voice.
"It's not his hat," muttered Ridcully, "It's the hangover."
"He's going to kill himself doing that"
"I believe that's his main intention."
"Ah." Ponder, who was in a hungover state where he wasn't about to take anything from anybody, grabbed Rincewind by the collar of his robe, and pushed the unresisting wizzard in the general direction of the cushionless couch.
"Someone please get him an ice pack, or something," he said. Something hit the wizzard square in the face and kncoked him out onto the floor. "Thank you, Nanny."
"Is everyone here?!" came the voice of MiMi, this was followed by a general groan of agreement as they tried to sort their migrains from everyone else's, except for Vetinari, who seemed to be asleep with his eyes open. "Well, then I guess it's time to announce the surprise!!"
"Oh, joy, something more to brighten our morning!" said Nobby, from somewhere on the floor.
"I know!!" said MiMi, who if she had caught the intense sarcasm, was doing a good job of ignoring it. "Then in that case, I am happy to say that it is time for..." Here there was actually a drumroll caused by someone in the background, "The first elimination!!"ss This caught Vimes's full attention.
"Elimination?"
"Yes! All this week, the viewers will vote off one person who they think should be booted form the Amkh-Morpork Survivor house!! If any of you want, you can go to the diary room and explain to the viewing public why you feel you should be allowed to stay in the house!!" Vimes's dash out of the room was lined with quicksilver.
"...Ooookay," said MiMi, "Ahem, well anyway, onto some more news!!"
"Oh, get on with it!" shouted Angua, who was clenching her head in case it fell off.
"Calm down, calm down, I'm just annoucing the winner of the drinking contest, since most of you were already too drunk and on the floor to remember half of what happened." There was annoyed cough from Granny Weatherwax's general direction. There was almost a worried silence from MiMi's end of the line. "...Oooor had chosen to abstain from the contest altogether...Anyhoo, I'm glad to announce that the winner of the contest was..Lord Vetinari!!" This didn't seem to surprise anyone 'cause Vetinari didn't seem like the kind of guy who'd pass out. This was not the response MiMi had been expecting.
"...He won by drinking the most beers, not being the last to go out" All of the eyes in the room turned to Vetinari. There it was.
DAY ELEVEN 11:45 A.M.
"And I'm completely and utterly boring!! No one in their right mind would want to see me in this house, I'd be a complete bore!! I'm not at all an interesting person!! I might look it on the streets, but that's when I'm doing my job!! I'm actually immensly dull on my days off!!"
"Vimes?" came the voice on the other end.
"And I am completely unable to-"
"VIMES!!"
"What?"
"The appeals to the viewers are only going to be a couple of minutes long, we cut you off forty-three minutes ago. And you're supposed to be saying why you should stay in the house..."
"Why'd anyone want to do that?"
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Writer's block is a cruel nuissansce...ANYWAY, IT'S TIME FOR THEW FIRST ELIMINATION!! IT'S TIME FOR YOU, THE READERS TO CHOOSE WHO YOU WANT BOOTED OUT OF THE HOUSE!! PLEASE CAST YOUR VOTE IN A REVIEW!! VOTE NOW!!