Oh my lord I am so sorry, I haven't updated in what seems to feel like forever! I really am very sorry! It's been so hectic lately, like literally non-stop problems or errors! I have sat really important exams, been quite sick, got better and then sick again! And while, yes I am still quite sick, but decided I had abandoned this story long enough! I really didn't think it had been this long, time has just slipped away from me! I guess, I mean I don't even know if anyone is still reading this fanfic, I couldn't blame you if you aren't, but if you are thank you so much it means a lot to me! So here's chapter eight, at long last I know!
Chapter 8.
Jax paced the hospital corridor, varying between having his hands clasped behind his back tightly, or placing his hands in front of him and squeezing them together so tightly his knuckles would go white. Gemma sat, staring at the ground distractedly as Bobby made strange noises and matching faces at Abel, who he was holding. Tig was leaning against the wall, for once not making a comment. It's totally silent, the only noise in the waiting room is the hustle of the hospital outside. Clay stands up, his hands behind his head. "It's my fucking fault" he groans, and Gemma shakes her head.
"A real man takes being fired with a bit of fucking pride. He acted like an insolent child. It's his fault. That prick" she spits out the words like they tasted bitter, her face twisted.
"Ah guys come on. Doc, she's a fighter. She's not going to let a little piece of bullet sized metal keep her down" Tig says reassuringly, and Lyla sniffles while everyone nods in agreement, an air of momentary assurance being wrecked by Jax.
"And the baby?" he asks, his voice dangerously low but remains steady. Nobody answers the question, but he continues his sentence regardless. "Is that baby a fighter huh? HUH?! That baby, who has had barely even two months in her stomach, is our baby a fucking fighter huh?!" he demands, his stature rigid. The silence following his outburst lasts mere seconds, before Tig answers. "Of course the baby's is gonna be a fighter! I mean with you and Doc as it's parents, fuck, I'd be surprised if it didn't come out on a Harley demanding its first tattoo" he exclaims, and Jax seems to relax, nodding to himself. A comforting silence ensues, as everyone settles down, again lost in their own thoughts.
Jax finds himself thinking about when his dad died. He had been young, he had been about 15, and the thought returning to school that week filled him with a bitter rage. He made it two minutes, before the sympathetic stares and continuous whispering got to him, and he stormed back out. He went to the sports field, it was always fucking empty anyway, and he sat cross legged, head cradled in his hands, as tears just poured down his face. He heard footsteps approach, and a tentative familiar voice call out "You okay?". He looked up to meet Tara's eyes, and just stared. He knew his eyes were ringed in red from his crying, and he probably looked terrible but he couldn't find himself caring as he looked up at her. At this stage in there lives they were not close, not even friends.
"What are you doing here?" he croaks, and her eyes drift around the empty field, before landing solely back upon him.
"You were sad, and I saw you storm out so had to follow and make sure you didn't do something stupid to get yourself hurt" she explains, and he's slightly surprised to say the least, he thought she hated him.
"But you hate me" he states blankly, and she shakes her head.
"No I really don't. Also nobody should go through what you are. Trust me, I know" she smiles, albeit a slight bit sadly and he is about to snap back at her, before he remembers, her mom died years before.
"Thanks" is all he replies, and she takes it as her cue to sit down beside him.
"You're sad" she states. He nods.
"You need to stop being sad" she continues, and he again nods, now confused on where this was going.
"I have pot" she concludes, and that's all that needs to be said, for the two teens sat getting high together that day. The day of their first kiss, remembers Jax, as she has leaned in and planted one on him, barely giving him any time to respond before pulling away. He had smiled and asked what was that for, and she told him "It was to make sure you would really stop being sad for a few minutes" and it had worked.
On the other side of the room, as Jax wandered down memory lane, Lyla sat rigid, staring intently at the door the doctor was going to walk through. Unmoving, and unflinching, she sat silent, unable to process the fact there was a high chance Tara would not be okay. She has to be her mind screams, and she focuses on Tig's words as like a mantra. "She's a fighter. She's a fighter. She's a fighter" over and over in her head, not noticing Opie's hand clutching her own tightly, or perhaps simply beyond the point of caring. She remembers that Tara ate the last pint of Ben and Jerry's and the first thing they need to do when Tara comes out of surgery, is go get some more. No she'll go get it now and surprise her. No, she'll wait, she couldn't risk not being here when Tara came out. Because she was coming out. In one piece, and she'd be fine and so would the baby. Lyla stays silent, too wrapped up in her head and consumed in her thoughts to notice anything else happening.
"Family of Tara Knowles?" a doctor asks, as he walks into the room. "YES! I mean yes that's us" Jax stands up and approaches him with haste, standing far too close for it to be called appropriate, but the doctor made no move to move away, no matter how intimidated he was by the hulking bikers present in the room, who looked like they could murder him if he dare be the bearer of bad news. "Well, she has pulled through very well, and baby is doing fine. She can go home in a few hours, she's already arguing with the interns about going home immediately" he smiles and everyone laughs, and then hug, Abel being passed over to Jax as he asks. "Can we go to see her?" he begs, and the doctor nods, his pale face regaining some of it's colour as he lead the way towards her room. "Oh shit, how's Wendy?" he asks.
"Good to know I am an afterthought asshole" a voice jokingly calls out from behind him.
He turns to meet Wendy's eye, and hers immediately drift to Abel. She smiles at the baby, and the fact he seems completely unharmed. "Tara's in there" she gestures to the room beside her, and he smiles at her, noticing the doctor had seemingly disappeared. He shrugs, indifferent as he focuses on walking to the room.
The first thing he hears as he walks into the room is Tara trying to convince a terrified young looking guy to let her leave. "I mean I am fine, so is there really a point to keep me in for a few hours, when some really sick individual could have the bed?!" she says sweetly, and the dude looks to the doorway, noticing Jax standing in the doorway, watching the scene. "Well Ms Knowles, you have a visitor so I am just going to leave, and I'll be back in a few hours to check on you" he almost sags in relief as he runs out the door, as Tara's head snaps up to meet Jax's eyes. She notices Abel, and focuses on him instead.
"You want to hold him?" he offers, tentatively walking towards her. She nods wordlessly, holding out her arms, and as the baby is placed in them, she immediately lovingly cradles him, kissing his forehead and cooing at him. Abel burgles with happiness upon being near her, and Jax smiles as he takes in the scene in front of him.
"I'm happy you got him back" she whispers, and he frowns when he realises she's still acting like she's not his mother.
"Well, I had to. Our son needs us" he answers, and her eyes drift up towards him tiredly.
"Jax" she sighs, and he shakes his head.
"No. You will not claim you aren't his mother, you are as much his mother as you are to the one in your stomach" he insists, and she nods, just agreeing with him for once.
"He's getting big" she notices, after a moment of hesitant silence."
"Yeah, he eats like a horse too" he smiles, as he thinks about how healthy Abel is, and how you would never guess by looking at him the shaky start he got in life.
And then Lyla and Gemma come bursting in, followed by a stream of he guys all holding balloons and teddy bears. "Hey Doc!" Tig greets her and she smiles, still holding onto Abel, and Happy speaks up. "Great show you put on at the club. That bitch is still bleeding!" he crows proudly, and Tara blushes.
"I really am not violent I swear" she insists and Clay smirks as he approaches her. "Sure, but are we forgetting the Prom incident?" he chuckles, as Jax, Gemma and a few members of the club start laughing. "That was.. I was drunk!" she defends, and Lyla speaks up. "What is this prom incident?" she asks, and Opie goes to speak before Tara cuts him off. "A thing that nobody shall ever speak of again" she growls as she glares at him and Opie chuckles, raising his palms in surrender. "Whatever you say Knowles" he winks and she chuckles as she mock glares at him.
About five hours later, Tara's on the way home, in a car with Lyla being driven by Jax. When the car stops outside her house, Lyla gets out and Tara goes to but Jax stops her. "No goodnight kiss?" he asks, eyebrows raised. "Oh yeah you're right" leaning across, and then swerving into the back seat to kiss Abel's cheek. He chuckles as he nods, although he's slightly wounded that she wouldn't kiss him. "Night baby" she whispers to Abel. She turns to Jax. "Night Jax" she smiles slightly and he can't help it. He leans forward and clasps her head gently in his hands, and pulls her slightly forward, making their mouths to collide. He leans into it and for a moment she does to, but then slowly starts to pull away from him.
"That shouldn't have happened" she whispers and opens the door of the car. "Goodnight Jax" she say, with a tone of finality Jax immediately hated. He doesn't have time to answer before the door is shut and she disappears for his line of vision, and all he can think is "that has to happen again".
End chapter!
Hello dear reader! You have made it to end of yet another chapter! I apologise it took so long to update! I really do! So if you enjoyed this I am very happy, but if you didn't that is totally fine. It's your opinion honey! Anyhoo, I had probably better be going as I am scheduled to hav a very busy day today (meaning the popcorn's ready and "Girl, interrupted" is starting, for I am watching it for the twenty fourth time), so I best be off! I love you all so much, especially you sweetie! Yes you! Bye darlings!