Well here it is ladies and gents!
My side project that involves my (maybe) loving fans (pfft... what fans?)
Enjoy!
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January 20th 2015
Starswirl the Bearded's Royal Academy for the Intellectually Advance.
"Cause that names not going to scare students as they walk in" I think sarcastically to myself as the bus passes under the medieval gates, the title of the school engraved into the gold framework.
All of the students on the bus gasp in wonder as they see the massive academy for the first time; I simply sigh and turn up the music on my headphones. You see this school once and you've seen it a hundred times, take it from me; having been practically bought up here.
Oh, quick introductions, where are my manners?
My name is Timeswirl the Powerful, what a name right? Well, a little fact about me is I am actually the descendant of the late Starswirl the Bearded, I also happen to be an Alicorn, but I pretend to be a Unicorn to keep unwanted attention away from my family and I.
My family just recently moved to Neigh York City from Canterlot and we were happy there, but once I had finished intermediate, I was sent back to Canterlot to attend Starswirls Academy because it was tradition for a Swirl to attend the school made in my Great- Great- Great grandfather's honor.
I was currently sitting alone at the back of the bus, it had come and picked me up from the hotel I was staying at early this morning and we had been on the road for at least four hours. The last sign of civilization was a small village about an hour back.
"Would all students please prepare to disembark, we will be arriving momentarily" the loud monotone voice cut above the sound of my headphones and I reluctantly pulled my shoes back on and quickly checked the time on my phone; "8:46, I woke up way to early"
I am a terrible morning person, always grumpy and snappy. Can you blame me though? The day is just so boring! Night is when life starts to get interesting.
"Can all students please disembark and proceed through the entrance and converge at the bottom of the steps" the voice rang out again and I winced in pain as one of the speakers was right next to me.
We all shuffle forward and make our way slowly out the bus and despite being told where to go; most students looked lost and I simply shoved my way through the crowd and towards where we were supposed to go.
The others look at me with confusion but decide to follow anyway. I breathe in the smell and familiarity of my surroundings; it hasn't changed at all since last I was here. It feels good to be back, and this time as student, not as a child.
I come to a stop as we reach the bottom of the stairs, and stand off to the side of the group of eager students.
"Welcome privileged few to the Starswirl Royal Academy" the voice radiated power and all the students (save for myself) instantly looked for the source of the noise.
"You are all very lucky to be standing here right now, you have all proven yourselves to be the top in each of your schools from the city, town or Kingdom you hail from" another voice had joined the original one, the voices seemed to come out of thin air.
"What's going on?" whispered someone next to me.
"Where are those voice's coming from?" asked another.
I smirked and pulled my headphones on; I whipped out my phone and began to scroll through my usual playlist.
Two figures materialized at the top of the stairs and the crowd of students fell silent and you could almost feel the power and authority radiating off them.
"I am headmaster Mare, and to my left is Vice- Headmaster Discord" says the familiar gray haired woman before us.
However, I almost choke with surprise as I see the old history teacher: Discord; it seems he has really moved his way up since the last time I saw him.
"You have all been briefed on the rules and guidelines, your dorms will be inspected every two weeks on a Saturday. Now; we realize that you are at a time in your lives where your minds may wander into some… less than appropriate areas, and we accept that, all rooms are sound proof and there are vending machines with protection all around the school. Keep it to your own rooms and that is all, there is to be no PDA on campus, the holding of hands is accepted and we do not discriminate against same sex couples, is that understood?" she said this whilst simultaneously glaring at everyone in the crowd, I was trying to stifle a laugh as I watched everyone's faces: trying to see if she was joking or not.
"Now that that is out of the way, it is tradition for every new student to come forth, introduce them self and take a key from this bowl. Pick carefully as it will be your dorm for the next four years… and yes, it is possible for a lady and a gent to be together. So please come forward, speak your name, where you are from and what race you are" explained Discord.
Knowing that everyone would be too scared to go up first, I take my headphones off and walk through, some people gasp in surprise and others nod in approval.
Mare and Discord look surprised, but pleasantly so as I turn and face the mass of students.
"Timeswirl, Canterlot, Unicorn" I say simply before dipping my hand in and pulling out a single key, I quickly fist bump with Discord as I walk past him and stand just over to the side.
"It's as easy as that students" said headmaster Mare, gesturing to me as I put my headphones back on but didn't play any music, I wanted to know who I should avoid.
A tall girl with beautiful flowing pure pink hair came forward; she was very good looking and every male in the crowd thought so, and even some of the girls. I on the other hand was instantly suspicious of her, she was beautiful, even I couldn't deny that; but she was brilliant. I could tell by the way she walked, and by looking at her face. She only blinked once every ten seconds, just long enough to keep her eyes moist but she was maximizing her view of the world at all times, allowing her to see the most at any one time: utterly fantastic, and exactly what I do.
"My name is Celestia, I am from Canterlot and I am one of five Alicorns" her voice was like butter, it gave so much promise and hope. I hated it already: avoid at all costs, lest I go deaf.
She picked her key and gave me a quick wink before standing almost directly beside me. I could smell bubblegum perfume, I almost passed out.
A couple of random's come forward, they were very uninteresting and mainly of earth descent, I had to give Celestia some credit: she knows almost every other Alicorn in existence, except for me of course. I have managed to get a quick glance at this year's registry: the other four alicorns will be attending this year. What an interesting development.
"Sup guys, name's Vinyl, from Neigh York and I'm a unicorn and proud of it!" cheered a neon blue haired girl, she bounced over to the bowl and picked a key before strutting over towards us.
"Hi! My name is… ahh… Derpy. And I'm from Cloudsdale, and I'm a Pegasus!"
"I'm Lyra Heartstrings! And I'm a unicorn from Ponyville!"
"Salutations fellow students. My name is Green Blade and I am a unicorn from Manehatten.
"Greetings; my name is Octavia Melody, I hail from Vanhoover and I am an earth pony"
"I'm… ah… *hic* Merlot! I mean… *hic* Pinot Noir from Ponyville and all that good jazz, earth pony!"
"Xana Virus, Unicorn and I'm from… ahh… Fillydelphia"
"Umm… Hi, my name is sweeti… I mean, my name is Bon Bon and I'm from Ponyville. Oh! And I'm an earth pony"
"Sunset Shimmer, Canterlot and a unicorn"
"Hello darlings! I am Rarity from Austrneighlia and I am a unicorn"
"Bonjour, Je m'appelle Fleur De Lis… Oh sorry, I come from… Prance and I am… unicorn?"
The original group had now been being filed down to roughly ten others, I recognized four of them as the remaining alicorns but I couldn't quite remember their names.
"Hello, I'm Twilight Sparkles and I'm originally from Canterlot but I was raised in Ponyville and I'm an Alicorn"
"Hey everybody! Silver Wing, Pegasus and I'm from Cloudsdale!"
"Greeting's everyone, I am Mi Amora Cadenza but please call me Cadence, I am from the crystal empire and I am an Alicorn.
"Attention! My name is Golden Eagle and I am a Pegasus from Cloudsdale! And I will be treated with the respect I deserve and will treat others with the amount they have earned!"
"Greetings thy fellow classmates! We art Luna of Canterlot, sister to Celestia and we be a powerful Alicorn just like her!" Everyone was almost blown away from the sheer volume this girl emitted.
"Azkaban Fury, Unicorn, Everfree forest"
"Hi there, I'm Chrissy from the bug kingdom and I'm an Alicorn also"
So Celestia, Luna, Mi Amora Cadenza, Twilight and Chrissy? What an interesting bunch of Alicorns.
"Now that that is sorted, could you please follow… just a moment" begun the headmaster before a ring came from her phone; she opened it and listened before a look of worry crossed her face. Once the call ended she simply gave Discord a look and he nodded in understanding.
"I am sorry students but a situation has arisen that demands our attention at this current moment, however…" I heard Discord trail off and felt his yellow and red eyes fall on me. You had better not you lord of chaos!
"Of course! Timeswirl!" said the headmistress in realization.
"You want me to lead the tour?" I say with a sigh.
They both nod enthusiastically and I facepalm.
"Very well, but don't blame me if half the student body leaves because they don't like the tour!" I say with a flourish of my hands. I snap my fingers and materialize numerous copies of a map of the school grounds. My time piece cutie mark glows neon blue as I distribute them to the others.
"Everyone, this is Timeswirl the powerful, descendant of the great Starswirl the Bearded, he grew up in this school before moving to Neigh York a year ago, he will be giving you a tour of campus and providing numerous other helpful tips, won't you Time?" said Mare with a glare.
"Right… Tip number one! The headmaster's left eye is glass, which stops her from seeing you on the left; so since she is a substitute when other teachers are sick, whenever she gives a class, sit on the right side as you walk in. Since she likes to stand in the center facing towards the seats, thus stopping her from seeing you asleep" I say with a sly grin and Discord snorts with laughter, everyone else in the student body jots this down on a spare piece of paper.
"Don't write that down!" yells Mare furiously.
"Tip number two, the headmaster is angered very easily over the most trivial of things, however if she ever calls you to the office for a 'talk' you are most utterly screwed" this earns another general laugh and Mare looks like she is on fire with rage, "But in all honesty, she is the very best to talk to if you have a problem of any kind; save for the school counselor of course"
Mare looked surprised by the sincerity in my voice and I give her a (very) rare smile, she nods and Discord follows her as they leave me with the group.
"So… This is the main courtyard and entrance to the school; but you all probably knew that, so let's move along to what you all want to see: the cafeteria and your dorms" I say and everyone nods in agreement.
Being a teenager I know exactly what to show them and what they will find out by themselves, so this tour will be interesting and quick… maybe.
"So when was this school built?"
I roll my eyes as Twilight walks alongside me and begins to jot down notes already, if I have to share a dorm with her… I'm going to be expelled for murder!
"This school was built in 1602 by my great- great grandfather Shadowswirl the Cunning in honor of his grandfather Starswirl" I direct the answer to the entire group and they all nod with interest.
"I thought it was built in 1603?" said Twilight with confusion.
"It was, however you seem to be the only one who noticed despite it being ENGRAVED ON THE DAMN GATE!" I yell loudly and the group simply chuckles sheepishly.
"So handsome: wanna share a room with me?" I have to mentally restrain myself from breaking Celestia's wrist as she loops her right arm through my left.
"That is not how it works your majesty; dorms are selected through a very random process called: pick a key from the bowl; don't like it? Deal with it!" I say and yank my arm from hers.
She gives a small pout and fades back into the crowd.
"So this is the cafeteria, a few tips for everyone: One; Mondays are the only days that have good hot chips, Two; eat the pasta salad if you have a death wish and three; don't piss off the lunch ladies because they remember your face and will spit in your next lunch"
The sound of pens and pencils against paper is heard as my fellow students quickly write this down.
"Is there anything gluten free?" asks the one called Octavia.
"Well… no" I say sharply and she simply nods sadly.
"Timeswirl! You're back! You had better eat everything this year…" I shudder in horror as I hear the raspy voice of the head lunch lady echo across the café.
"Granny Smith, how lovely to see you again… How is Mac?" I ask with the best smile I can force.
"Never mind him, you'd better watch yourself mister; that goes for all of ya… Back in my day we ate all that we were given…" Granny Smith kept talking but I drowned her out and motioned for everyone to silently follow me.
Once we were outside again I gave a sigh of relief.
"Dude, is she always like that?" asked Vinyl as she blew a neon blue bang out of her eye.
"Pretty much, rule number… whatever; avoid all eye contact and never ask Granny Smith what you want for lunch; simply point to it" I instruct; more scribbling noises follow.
I lead them around for roughly ten more minutes, showing them the medical bay, gym and library. I had to drag Twilight away from there… let me tell you.
"And this is the science block, it is not uncommon for something to be set on fire every once in a while or for you to hear explosions" I explain, I then very quietly knock on one of the doors and wait for a reply.
"Come in!" came the rough answer and I enter softly.
"I heard there was an inmate that had escaped from a local mental asylum, you wouldn't happen to have seen him would you?" I say with a chuckle as I see the science teacher.
"Timeswirl! Holy timberwolf on a joke plant! It's good to see you again!" he says as he crushes my hand in his infamous handshake.
"Good to see you too Whooves, everybody; this is Dr Whooves, he teaches physics, chemistry and math and is the only one man who can make a bomb out of anything you care to mention" I say with a wide smile as he takes a small bow.
"Can thou really maketh an explosive from anything?" asked Luna in her very unique way of speaking.
"Pick something in this room my dear" he said with a wild grin and I hit the crystal shield generator button as Luna pointed at a stack of sticky notes.
The shield pulsed gold for a second and then became completely clear, with almost no indication of it even existing.
"Well, first you take the sticky substance from the back of them all and spread it over a scrunched up ball of the notes, lick, stick…" and with that Whooves threw the ball at the far wall and we both took cover behind his desk as the makeshift bomb exploded.
"And that's that" I say sarcastically as the smoke clears and the shield is lowered.
"That was awesome!" cheered a rainbowed haired girl whose name must have escaped me.
"I am glad you think so! Now who wants to see me make a small nuclear explosion?" he cheered but I quickly stepped in before he gave everyone present a severe does of cancer.
"I think you can save that for class perhaps Doctor?" I say as I hurriedly lead the group away from the slightly mad scientist.
I once again sigh with relief as I do a quick head count and find everyone accounted for as we exit the science block.
"Wow, that was amazing!" stated the one who called herself Chrissy.
"Hmm… say that when half your face is blown off in a napalm explosion" I say with a grim expression.
"So… how long have you known this school?" asked Cadence.
"Ever since I was born, I have been raised in and around this school. It has been my home and place of education for most of my life up until last year that is" I say with a look of remembrance, "So when I say something like sign up early for the sport team you want or you will be stuck with ballet, I kinda know what I'm saying"
Everyone quickly scribbles this down and I lead them towards our final destination: the dorms.
"Now since I have an almost encyclopedic knowledge of this place and how it works… I have managed to memorize which room belongs to which key based on their design. The usual process is that you all walk around for an hour and try every door until you find the right one, but since I'm sick of leading you guys around I will tell you which is yours" I say with laugh as I walk over to a random student.
"Hold on; me first!" orders Celestia as she shoves everyone out of the way and presents her key to me, I give her a thin smile.
"You are in room 52 your majesty" I say as I give her a bow and point down the hall.
"Thank you, I hope to see you again" she says with a wink and skips down the hallway in a far too merry way for my liking.
"You my dear sir are in room 34, 10, 24, 8…" this went on for roughly two minutes until I had finally sent the final student to their proper rooms.
As I walked down the hall I was greeted with the familiar sounds of excitement, disappointment, annoyance, disgust and most importantly: hope. Hope for the start of their new lives.
I arrive at my door and mentally prepare myself for whoever is behind it, please not Twilight! Please not Twilight! I pray as I push the door gently open since it is already unlocked. I take a few steps in and notice that the room is empty save for a large, plain white suitcase which must have been delivered by dragon flame post. There are two large king single beds and the suitcase sits on top of one so I simply flip onto the other, I could hear someone banging around in the bathroom so they must be having a shower before the big welcome feast in the cafeteria.
"I'll be out in a second, I'm just getting changed" the voice sounded familiar but I couldn't quite place it since it was muffled by the door and mostly likely their clothes.
The door cracked opened a crack but the figure didn't come through just yet…
"Sorry for making you wait, I'm…."
Other Dorms
"Octavia Melody… pleasure to meet you"
"Hey… you're that girl from Vanhoover! I'm Vinyl Scratch but you probably remember that! This is gonna be a fun four years!"
Another Dorm
"Eeepp… did you just pat my butt?"
"I saw a cute mare and decided she needed some attention! Names Silver Wing by the way, and who are you?"
"I'm Fluttershy"
"Right on! It's nice to meet you Flutters!"
Some other Dorm
"Greetings Miss. Sparkles, I do hope we can have a peaceful and interesting four years together?"
"I think we can Mr. Eagle, I think we can indeed!"
Another Dorm
"Oh, hi Miss. Shimmer! Which bed do you want?"
"Oh my sun! You're so cute, I love your eyes!"
"Re…really? Everyone just makes fun of them…"
"I would never do such a thing! Come here"
And another
"Greetings fellow Alicorn! You art thy one thy called Chrissy?"
"Yes, that's me. Could you please lower your voice just a little please?"
Un autre dortoir
"Bonjour, you are… Miss. Noir?"
"Sure am sweet cheeks! You're that nice looking Prence girl aren't ya?"
"Oh Merde…"
Whatever one this is
"Oh hi there! Names Green blade, you want left or right?"
"I don't mind, you can pick Mr. Blade"
"Why thank you very much Miss?"
"Oh, my apologies! I am Rarity"
Some other dorm
"Oh hey! You're that really nervous girl! Well, don't worry your pretty little self about anything! Stick with old Lyra here and everything will be alright!"
"Thank you Lyra, my real name is actually Sweetie Drops, but could you call me Bon Bon?"
"Sure thing!"
How many are there?
"So, you look like one of those dudes who don't speak a lot?"
"…"
"Nothing? Well, the name's Spitfire and my father is head of the wonderbolts military rescue and extraction team"
"That is fascinating… I do believe that your father has my respect. Whether or not it extends to you has yet to be seen"
"Oh really? Well can you at least give me the courtesy of introducing yourself to the person you will be spending the next four years with!"
"My name is Azkaban Fury like I explained earlier"
I think this is the last one? But there are probably more!
"Oh sorry, I kinda already set things up here… I can move my computer though!"
"Oh that's no problem… Xana was it? Pleasure to meet you! I'm Mi Amora Cadenza, but please call me Cadence"
"No problem... Your highness"
"Oh none of that!"
Back at Timeswirls dorm
"Oh come on! Really? Really!?" I say loudly with despair as my 'roomie' emerged from the bathroom.
"Umm… Hi Timeswirl. Guess we are going to be roommates… funny how these things turn out?" she said nervously.
"It's goddamn hilarious Celestia!" I grumble loudly.
"Well… we can ask to switch?" she suggested.
"That's not going to happen; Mare and Dizzy will personally see to it that no one changes dorm partners!" I mutter to myself.
"Mare and Dizzy?" asks Celestia with a confused look.
I turn to explain my childhood nicknames to her but stop as I see her and actually take in what I am looking at.
"You need glasses?" I ask with confusion.
Her hands instantly fly up and she withdraws them faster than I can blink.
"You can't tell anyone I wear them! It would ruin my perfect image!" she begs with desperation.
"Hey, it's fine. I'm not the kind of person to do that… at least I know you have flaws. That's what makes a perfect person" I say reassuringly.
"Really? Thank you Timeswirl… And please call me Tia when we're alone" she offers and I nod slightly.
"And you can call me… Time?" I say with a bit of thought.
"You're my little timey wimey!" she coos and I gag a little at the name.
"Yeah, that's not happening!" I say before it can escalate any more, I take a quick glance at my watch and notice the time, "Tia, we might want to leave the room"
She simply shrugs "If you say so", and we both make our exit.
Standing in the hall, I count off the seconds on my watch… 4, 3, 2, 1…0!
As if on cue, I hear the doors to the rooms lock and Celestia gives me a look or worry. I simply smile and wait. Soon enough, the cries of help are heard as each of the dorms begins to fill with water. Celestia goes to the nearest door and tries to open it, but it is stuck fast.
"We have to help them!" she yells to me.
"Just relax Tia… this is simply a welcome to school gift" I say with a chuckle, the doors are suddenly flung open and water comes crashing out, followed by two soaking wet students.
I simply cast a shield on Celestia and myself and the water doesn't even touch us. The students begin to pick themselves up and look for someone to blame, when the see Celestia and I are completely dry they instantly assume we were responsible.
"Sister! How could thy do this to us?!" yelled Luna as she raised her fists threateningly.
"We had nothing to do with this, we were trying to help you get out!" she said trying to defend herself.
"Oh, so why is Timeswirl not saying anything?" accused Chrissy, whilst glaring at me.
"Because, there is nothing to say. You were just introduced to the room cleaning system that the Starswirl academy has… it is also used to introduce students to how much the school dislikes dirty rooms. And since I told you which rooms you were staying in, that took away the fun of the hunt so I decided not to warn you about the cleaning cycle" I say with a thin smile.
"And it was a good thing you did Timeswirl! Now could all students and staff please report to the Cafeteria for the welcoming feast" the headmistresses voice blared loudly over the nearly undetectable speakers.
"Oh, come with me Tia, I know a short cut" I whisper to Celestia and she follows closely behind me.
What I didn't notice were the four figures who had decided to follow us: Azkaban, Xana, Vinyl and Luna.
"Where does thou think they are going sister?" questioned Luna once they were outside.
Goddamit! I forgot to check if we were being followed… Guess they can tag alone then.
"If you guys can keep up, then I can get you to the Café and get you the best seats" I promised. This seemed to satisfy them and I took off running across the campus.
I gotta admit Azkaban is a pretty fit guy, being an Alicorn and all, I could easily leave him in the dust, but he seems to be holding his own and slightly dragging Vinyl as well. Not a bad guy, little quiet though… Must have a sad background?
Not sure on that Virus guy though… seems he likes computers so I'll have to be wary of him trying to hack me. But his fingers seem to have similar marks on the tips, possible instrument? Maybe piano or guitar?
Vinyl seems to be an aspiring DJ, what with her headphones, blue hair, purple shades and disheveled look. I wouldn't be surprised if she became the best DJ Equestria had seen… I wonder if Strings still teaches music. I haven't seen the staff list yet… huh, that's not like me.
And what about Luna? She seems to have a problem speaking normal Equest. Perhaps the Equestrian teacher, whoever it may be this year, might be able to help her with it? Dunno… she seems harmless enough though, gotta keep an eye on her, she is an Alicorn after all!
We arrive at the Café in record time and enter through the back door, I see the staff taking their seats at the front of the room and I spot a familiar face amongst them.
"Pinkie!?" I exclaim with excitement.
Before I can even blink I am hit in the chest by a pink cannonball and almost smashed through a wall.
"Timeswirl! You're back! Oh I missed my little baby waby" she cooed happily as her breasts cut off almost all of my oxygen.
"Pinkie… air! Vital to survival…!" I just manage to gasp out and she lets me go, gives me a smile and retakes her seat.
"Who was that?" asked Tia.
"Pinkamena Diana Pie, she teaches P.E and sexual education" I explained, I could still see stars after that hug.
"And why did she call you her 'baby waby'?" asked Azkaban with a smirk.
"Because Mr. Fury, she was the one who was in charge of looking after me when I wasn't in class or my parents were at work" I say through gritted teeth, I must admit, Azkaban knows how to get under a guys skin.
He seems to get the message and backs off a few steps.
"Sexual Education?" asks Vinyl with a slightly red face.
"That's right!" shouted Pinkie in Vinyl's ear, nearly giving her a heart attack in the process.
"But… you were… and now… your there?" said Xana whilst looking between Pinkie and the seat she was currently sitting in.
"Word of advice Mr. Virus, don't question the logic of Miss. Pie. You'll die of old age before you do" I say seriously and he simply nods in understanding.
"Since your minds are, or have already hit puberty, I take it upon myself to tutor you on everything you need to know about sex and stuff like that!" explained a hyped up Pinkie.
"And she is very… descriptive so to speak. I accidentally wandered into one of her classes one time and what I saw scared me for life" I say with a shudder as I recall the event.
"Sounds… fun?" says Vinyl as she turns to face Pinkie but finds only air. A quick glance at her seat and she sees her talking with another staff member.
"That's Pinkie Pie for ya" I say simply.
"Pinkie Pie?" asks Tia, I simply wave her off and lead them to their seats.
Time to have a feed, meet the staff, say the pledge, play some pranks, do: 'the game' and light each other on fire!
Let the four years being!
Oh what a school…
A/N: My body is ready! Send your comments and hate!
So there you guys go... Wish me luck for exams, I will be pretty busy with those but will always find time to reply to PM's and reviews, so send em through!
Now some of you will be annoyed I posted this today but the people who wanted it posted earlier 'FAR' outweighed the people who wanted to wait... Soz but the fans have spoken.
I hope I got everyone's OC's alright... and just a heads up, the first chapter was only from Timeswirls POV cause... reasons! It will be third person from now on with some slight first person perspectives at times depending on the situation.
So keep calm and carry on!
This will be updated when I get around to it: Next up for me is the next chapter for Two Morons Vs Equestria...
And cause it's kinda my thing now:
My name is Parradox and thanks so much for reading.
Bye!