Sup guys and girls... been a while I know!
Enjoy
Chapter Two
Recap: Last time we were here, the newest set of students had arrived at Starswirl the Bearded's Academy for the Intellectually Advance. We meet Timeswirl; descendant of Starswirl himself, Xana Virus; a unicorn with a love for computers, Azkaban Fury; a quite gentleman with a mysterious past, Silver Wing; the enthusiastic flirt, Golden Eagle; the no nonsense ex-army trainee and Green Blade; the wild card that little is known about… What wonders will they encounter whilst at this school?
Narrators POV
"Welcome students! Please take your seats so that we may begin the welcome feast!"
Vice-Headmaster Discord's voice cut through the chatter like a knife through butter. Yet it still sounded soft and respectful. Every student took their seats; and unlike most other schools throughout Equestria and beyond, there was no segregation here. Unicorns sat with pegasi and Earth ponies; and even the Alicorns were spread out amongst their peers.
"Thank you Mr. Amentia. New students, we welcome you once again to our prestigious school and ask your forgiveness for not being able to lead the tour this afternoon. Hopefully Mr. Swirl here was very… insightful during his tour and provided you with the knowledge necessary to get you all started here" said the headmistress with quick glare at Timeswirl.
"Well no one left! I think I did alright…" stated Timeswirl and a few chuckles were heard from around the hall.
"Yes, and we thank you Mr. Swirl. However, now is not time to dwell on the past. As you are all probably aware, this school has no seniors or any other students, save for the ones in this room at this very moment. Our school has so many applicants every year that we can only accept new students every four years, as a bonus: this also allows the teachers and staff to give you the best education you possibly can. So welcome to our school: Class of 103" said Mayor Mare with a warm smile and everyone gave a cheer of delight.
Discord took this as a sign to begin the feast and clicked his fingers.
The tables were suddenly filled with hundreds if not thousands of various dishes that moved around the table on their own so that everyone would get to try. Culinary delights from every corner of the planet and even some that weren't.
Soon a light chatter began to waft from the students and teachers alike (let's have a listen in shall we?)
Xana and Cadence
"So Cadence, since you're an Alicorn, does that mean you have a particular area of magic you excel at?" asked Xana as he bit into a roast potato.
"Well… yes and no; I excel in love based magic but that is hardly counted as an individual field, it belongs to the emotion area of magic" explained Cadence as lightly nibbled a cookie (she ate desert first)
"Love magic? So can you make people fall for each other and stuff like that?" asked Xana with a furrowed brow.
"I cannot make two people fall in love if they do not love each other. I can nurture and increase feelings that are already present or repair a heart broken by love or tragedy" she said with a soft smile.
"Wow… that sounds pretty badass! I mean… its cool" said Xana trying to play it off. Cadence simply giggled her unique giggle causing Xana to go fifty shades of (gray) red.
Another group
"So Tavi… do you mind if I call you Tavi?" asked the wild DJ.
"I do not think I can stop you Miss. Scratch" sighed an irritated Octavia, being washed by her room had left her… annoyed, to say the least.
"You're probably right… so what's Vanhoover like? I heard it's really cold, like, freeze a bottle of water as soon as you go outside. Is it that cold? Do you guys have summer? What do you wear? Not in a weird stalkerish way but you know what I mean…" Vinyl droned on as Octavia began to thump her head on the table in frustration.
This is becoming a thing for me
"So Golden Eagle, what brings you here?" asked Twilight as she tried to make casual conversation.
"I got a scholarship from the military department my father used to work for, and then I… Ahh!" he cried out in pain and clutched the side of his head.
"Golden! Are you alright?" asked Twilight in panic as she dove under the table and checked his vitals.
"I'm fine, I just need my…" his fingers grasped for the vial he kept in his pocket, he fished it out, popped out a medium sized yellow pill and dry swallowed it. He instantly calmed down and visibly relaxed.
"What was that?" asked Twilight nervously.
"I get really bad migraines, they're usually very random, so I have to keep a vial of very powerful anti-headache pills on hand just in case" he said, he pulled out the vial again and showed her, "I don't know why they happen but nothing has been able to cure it, I simply grin and bear it as they say"
"Well, if there is anything you need, please just ask. I don't want you to drop dead on me" she said with a sheepish laugh.
"I wouldn't dream of it Miss. Sparkles" he said with a smile.
I don't actually care now…
"Ya know Azkaban… it's going to be a very difficult four years if you don't talk with anyone" stated Spitfire as she glared at said individual.
"I do talk though. I just prefer not to. If I have nothing to say, then I will not speak. Simple as that Miss. Wonder" explained Azkaban as he sliced up some apple and ate it slowly.
Spitfire simply shook her head in frustration and spoke to someone else.
And another group
"Alors Mlle De Lis, comment est Prance ce temps de l'année?" asked Timeswirl; he was currently eating a pizza… with a knife and fork!
"You... You speak Prence?" asked Fleur with a very surprised voice.
"Oui" was the simple response, "Very fluently actually, I studied it for three years"
"Well… Prance is actually rather cold right now. It's winter… and not summer. Oh, pardon my Equest, it is not very well in terms of grammar" she said with a blush.
"Well your Equest is better than my Prence" noted Timeswirl with a chuckle.
"Perhaps… it's nice to know that someone here has a little bit of world knowledge" said Fleur as she moved closer to Timeswirl, he didn't notice; but a certain Princess of the sun did.
Let's listen to the teachers now…
"Oh Dizzy! Look at him, all grown up and mature!" said Pinkie Pie with tears of happiness.
"I must admit he has become quite powerful during his time in Neigh York. I'm still not sure how he plans to keep his true race a secret" said Discord with a frown.
"We can think about that later. So… you finally gonna grow a pair and ask Ariana out?" said Pinkie with a wicked grin.
"What! Ms. Smoozington is a valued teacher. I would not jeopardize her position or mine at this school, simply to pursue a relationship" said Discord sharply.
"I never said anything about a relationship" said Pinkie with a wink as she turned and started a conversation with someone else, leaving a very red faced Discord.
And back to the story!
As the students finished their main meals and desert was served (save for Cadence), Timeswirl began to wriggle around in his seat, his eyes darting around the hall and his body jumping and jerking at any sudden movement. No one seemed to notice except for Tia though.
"Hey Time, got ants in your pants or something?" she said with a whispered giggle.
"Well… it's just that it is custom every year for the teachers to…" but that was all he could say as Mayor Mare took to the front of the café and cleared her throat, signaling for attention.
"Dear students, it is now time for you to all meet the faculty and staff that will be teaching, managing and up keeping the school during your four years with us. I will go first: I am Mayor Mare, I fill in as a substitute when another teacher is sick, other than that, I run the school" the students simply nodded and she stepped back.
"Hello there everyone, the name is Discord Amentia. I am the Vice-headmaster but I also teach magic studies to the unicorns and Alicorns… that should be a barrel of laughs" he said with a chuckle as he took a bow and stepped backwards.
"Hello All! My name is May Treehugger… I am the school secretary and also the school counselor. If you have any problems, or maybe your chakras seem out of balance; please feel free to come and see me" the hippy looking teacher threw a handful of powder over the hall that smelt like lavender and took a step back.
"My name is Doctor Scalpel"
"And I am Nurse Redheart"
"And we both have permission to cut off limbs should the need ever arise!" they both said in unison before stepping back.
"Take no notice of them children. There is no need to have any limbs taken off… because there won't be any limbs to take off, you will have all been burnt beyond recognition! But seriously, the name is Turner Whooves, but everyone calls me Whooves or Doc. I teach your pretty basic subjects of math, chemistry and physics… but I make them super fun! I am also pretty chill about people talking in my class, tardiness and listening to music. As long as you can do the work, there will be no problems!" he said with a smile before joining his fellow teachers.
"Howdy Yawl! The name is Jaqueline Applejack. But everyone here calls me Applejack! I teach biology and the makeup of everything in this here Equestria! Don't take my southern way of talking as a sign of stupidity though… I can speak as perfectly as any Canterlot pounce who dare say otherwise" the sudden change in her way of speaking, from Appllossian to Vanhooverian was quite a shock to the class, but she gave a smile and took her seat once again.
"Hey there everybody! My name is Pinkamena Diana Pie! And like Applejack and Whooves, you can just call me Pinkie Pie or even Pinkie. I don't like being called Miss. Pie or Miss though, I will teach you all about the wonders of Physical Education and the wonders of two people in love during sexual education. So before you start fornicating with your roommate, wait until you have at least one lesson with me… or your gonna regret it!" she then proceeded to backflip back into her chair, leaving every student very red in the face… save for a certain Swirl who had heard it all before.
"To be or not to be, that is a question I get asked quite a lot in my Equestrian language class. My name is Spike Drake but everyone here calls me Spike. I am what you would call a grammar Marzi… if you say 'can't' or 'don't' in my class instead of cannot or do not, then there will be very dire consequences!" every student went very pale at this warning before he turned back to his seat.
"Good evening faithful new students… My name is Symphony Strings, but please call me Strings. I teach music and geography. You are all required to play at least one musical instrument whilst you are here at this school, and I am able to provide helpful tips if ever you need them. I can also play every instrument ever invented… save for the triangle, never quite got my head around it" and with that, she took her seat and the next teacher came forward.
"What is ones purpose on this planet? Why are we here? What are we meant to do with our lives? These are just some of the questions we will be facing together in your theory of knowledge classes we have together. You may call me Tirek or Mr. Exitium, I do not take any nonsense, there is to be no magic used in my class, everyone opinions matter and most importantly: there are no wrong answers" the giant of a man took his seat very gracefully.
"Hey guys and gals! Names Cloud Chaser… I have never actually chased any clouds cause they move really slow and they're easy to catch… kinda lost my train of thought there. Anyway, I teach the pegasi and Alicorns how to fly properly. We're going to be chased by dragons, almost crushed by rock golems and write very detailed reports on the theory of advance flying!" with a flash of sky blue light, Clouds wings lit up and she floated gently back into her seat.
"Hello everyone. My name is Rose Luck. Please call me Rose, I teach earth ponies and Alicorns alike how to master the power of the planet and control the immense strength coursing through them. The best way to bribe me is with rare flowers from your home countries and regions and I also like statues of me that have been carved from marble with your bare hands" and with a smirk to the crowd, she took her seat and began to smell a rose.
"Brushy, brushy, brushy… My name is Colgate, call me such. If you do not, I will make sure you can't feel your face. And please for the love of the sun! Brush your teeth twice a day and do not forget to floss" her words cut through the mass of students like a blade and made everyone shiver save for Time, who was trying not to burst out laughing.
"… Huh?! Oh… right, the introductions… Names Granny Smith, call me that! If you don't eat everything ya get served… you'd better sleep with ya eyes open afta that!" her raspy voice was painful to listen to, but luckily she fell asleep shortly afterwards.
Mayor Mare came forward once again and cleared her throat.
"The food that the school uses is supplied by the world famous Carrot Top and Berry Punch Limited company, the school is also kept in pristine condition by the Snips and Snails Disposal Company. However, since they are operated from hundreds of branches across Equestria it is only logical that they could not be here to introduce themselves tonight" she said with a smile before going serious.
She glanced at Discord and then at Timeswirl before giving a slight nod to the both of them. Timeswirl quickly teleported to the stage alongside the headmistress and vice-headmaster before taking his phone out and checking something on it.
"She has been kept in magnificent condition during my absence" he noted quietly.
"Now, you are all probably wondering why I have called Mr. Amentia and Master. Swirl to the front, well this is because they are going to introduce the next teacher to you" said Mare with a worried look.
"Three years ago, I was given an assignment in magic class, Discord was my teacher and the idea was that we had to create some sort of living being. It could have been anything, from a spirit beast to a crystal golem" explained Timeswirl with a look of remembrance crossing his face.
"However, being a swirl. Time here was determined to make something never done before. Each student was allowed a teachers aid and I gladly helped him out. His project on the other hand was the creation of the first fully functional A.I computer program" said Discord with a chuckle.
"Through a combination of some unique coding, programming and a little bit of Chaos magic from Discord here, we managed to create an A.I system that worked exactly like you and I do. We called her A.R.I.A.N.A, it stands for Artificial Reality Intelligence Abnormality Network of Awesomeness" said Time with a red face as a few students chuckled at the childish name.
"Time passed with flying colors but we couldn't bring ourselves to get rid of her or release her, she was, by law, an Equestria citizen. So we created a digital body for her that allowed her to project herself through hundreds of micro projectors placed all around the school" Discord gestured to the roof with a general wave of his hand.
"And jus to add to that, she became a Dame two years ago, when she successfully shut down a nuclear launch that was aimed right at Canterlot… but don't tell anyone, it's a secret and all" said Time with a wink.
"And without further ado, we would like to introduce the last member of the staff here: Dame Ariana Smoozington" said Discord and Timeswirl loudly
The hall was suddenly bathed in green light as the projectors activated and the form of a beautiful young woman clad in a simple green dress appeared on stage. You could see straight through her but she gave off a presence that she had more depth than most people would ever have.
"Greetings students of this fine Academy. My name is Ariana Smoozington, please call me Ariana, Ari or Smooze, I do not mind. I teach history and Economics to all, please be aware that despite me being in the school network and attached to almost every server ever invented, I do not invade your privacy and ask that you do the same… so please cease your pointless attempts to infiltrate my core Mr. Virus" she said lightly, this cause Xana to bolt straight up and throw his phone over the back of his shoulder.
"I have no idea what you're talking about!" he said with a nervous chuckle.
"Also note that I am kept under protection by the most advance security on the planet and that is why all of your personal information will be safe in my memory… until class though, I wish you a very wonderful time here and I hope you enjoy what's about to come" she said with a giggle as she glanced at Timeswirl, who was rubbing his temples in concentration. She then faded back into nothing and the hall was left completely silent.
"I think I'll just walk down here now, don't mind me… just walking down to the tables, back to my seat… not doing anything that might provoke any of the teachers to do anything rash now" every student was now looking at Timeswirl like he had some sort of problem, but all the teachers were staring at him with malicious grins.
Once he got to the first table at the front he quickly put both hands on it, the table pulsed blue for less than a second before it regained its normal coloration.
"Timeswirl, why on earth are you clutching that table like it's the only thing in the world?" said Discord with a dark chuckle.
"You know exactly why, I thought you might have stared by now but I remembered we still had to introduce Ari before it all went to Tartarus" said Time with fire in his voice.
"Shall we do this Master. Swirl? I do believe the score is one in my favor" goaded Discord.
"Only because I would rather give myself up then have someone else be hit" retorted Time instantly.
"I must admit, you have bravery and strength, but will it be enough?" said Discord as he picked up a long baguette and spun it between his fingers.
"You can bet my magic on it!" yelled Timeswirl.
"NOW PINKIE!" roared Discord, he rolled to the left as all the students saw a most spectacular and horrifying sight… A blue and pink stripped cannon aimed right at them.
"Let the battle begin!" screamed Pinkie as she lit the fuse and the cannon exploded with a bright pink blast.
Timeswirl was prepared for such an attack and flipped the table he had been holding directly in front of the cannon ball (which just happened to be a large chocolate éclair), it exploded and shattered the table into hundreds of pieces, but Time used this cover and dove through it head first, two sword fish in either hand and engaged the vice-headmaster and pink ball of energy.
"What the hay is going on!?" yelled Cadence as all the students dove under the tables and poked their heads slightly over, watching as the teachers began to throw every varitity of food at Timeswirl who was managing to hold of Discord and his bread plus Pinkie and her leg of ham.
"I don't know about you guys, but this looks like a food war! TO ARMS!" roared Golden as he grabbed two pies and lit up his wings. He charged straight into battle and was followed by Twilight (who managed to convert her grapes into some sort of automatic pistol), Celestia (who had a bacon sword) and Azkaban (who grabbed some toast and began to use it as throwing stars).
Timeswirl was not having a very good time, he had misjudged the size of the table and it took far more strength than he though to block the cannon ball. This lead to him being far weaker when he engaged Discord and Pinkie in armed combat, using a strength spell, his sword fish were now harder than steel. Unfortunately, so were Discords and Pinkies weapons. Now Timeswirl could most likely take them on one vs one, but two vs one was pushing it even for him… and it didn't help that he had to avoid explosive food hurled by the other teachers.
He finally got caught around the knee and fell onto his back, a piece of bread and leg of ham at his knee.
"Check mate Time" said Discord smugly before his eyes widened in panic.
Time was confused until a storm of pies, grapes and toast came flying at him, both teachers were forced backwards and Time was able to finally see his saviors, in the form of his classmates running (and in some cases flying) headfirst into battle…
He was helped to his feet by Azkaban who gave him a simple nod before unleashing another barrage of toast that almost brought down cloud chaser.
Time watched as Tia and Luna fought Tirek and Whooves.
Cadence and Xana were cautiously providing back up to Twilight and Golden, who were trying to bring Cloud chaser down.
Octavia and Bon-Bon were wrestling with Rose whilst Vinyl and Lyra took on the medical staff.
Green Blade and Silver Wing were tag teaming it and taking on Applejack, Blade had somehow created a motor cycle out of food whilst Silver had taken to the air and was showering Applejack in candy floss web.
The battle raged on, students fell, teachers fell.
And then there was silence… followed only by the whirring of Ariana as she lit herself up and observed the chaos that had just occurred.
"Well… that went far better than last year's food fight. It's good to have you back Timeswirl; it just wasn't the same here without you… better get you all back to your rooms. You all forgot to say the pledge… never mind. Initiate mass teleport, authorization Smooze B-14, coordinates locked… send em all to bed" she said with a sigh as the sleeping bodies of her fellow teachers and students vanished in a blaze of emerald energy, back to their rooms they went, none the wiser of where they were.
Oh what a school…
A/N: Another Chapter done!
Hope you liked the teachers and the food fight (a cookie to the person who tells me where i drew my inspiration for the fight from!)
This thing does have a story... but we will wait a little bit for that.
If i got any of your OC's wrong, please tell me (via PM) and I'll try to fix it in the future.
I am working on a lot of stuff right now (french, you tube, fanfics and school work) so updates may be few and far between depending on what i do each day.
For instance, just been in London and wasn't allowed my laptop, couldn't write (not that I'm complaining, London is awesome!) but you get the idea.
If any of you want to leave a review/PM that would be great...
But till then:
My name is Parradox and thanks so much for reading.
Bye!