A/N: OK, so I don't have another chapter of One Hour written yet (but it is getting close to complete now, finally), so here's another filler for my next big Naruto project to keep you awesome readers satisfied. Thanks, as always, go out to the (many, many) who have favorited or alerted this story based on the first chapter alone- it might have broken OH's record, and that's saying something. lol
As always, thanks of course go to my beta, Mouse, and even more thanks to those who actually reviewed (It's not that hard, people... just a few words to let me know how I'm doing, what you like, or what you don't...).
A final note before we get started: I am not as dumb as Naruto. I know the correct order of a couple things he's talking about in this chapter, and I know what "hematophobia" is. He doesn't... or at least, can't say/spell it right. Suffice it to say I do, and any comments about how I screwed up X, Y, or Z (at least in regards to this chapter) will likely be ignored- it's all writing from Naruto's messed up PoV anyway. :)
Chap. 2 Into the Whirlpool
"All right," Jiraiya said, looking out over the pool from the edge of the charred patch created just after sunrise that morning, "Looks like we've got some work to do. There's more than I thought left of the old place. I guess when that old bastard Danzo reported Uzushiogakure was 'completely destroyed', he meant 'mostly destroyed'. Hm... I don't want to take forever. No more than a couple days. Let's split up. Any objections?"
Tenten, despite her better judgment, immediately moved toward Gai, hoping to be paired with the one who had offended her least that morning. The white-haired man seemed either to have not noticed, or ignored it, though Naruto, on his other side, saw the smirk and grimaced. He knew, already, what the old pervert was planning.
"We need a pair of good eyes and someone familiar with fūinjutsu beyond the basic level in each team. Since we have three Jonin as well, that makes things even easier. Lee, Neji, you guys are one team, since I can assume, being a Hyūga, you have more than a passing familiarity with Seals, right?"
The brunette nodded calmly, though he was inwardly cheering. He would never, ever admit it verbally, but he was happy to not be paired with Tenten just then. After what he'd seen- what he was still seeing- he didn't know if he'd ever be able to look at the girl without blushing furiously or bursting into laughter again. It was all he could do to keep a straight face, and he wasn't even looking at her!
"Right, good. I know Naruto's got a good grounding in Seals now, but he's slower on the uptake than anyone I've ever met, so he'll-"
"Hey!"
Jiraiya, of course, ignored the outraged shout as if the blonde had said nothing, "have to go with the remaining member of Team Gai with the best eyes and analytical skills, so I can go with the other. Who would that be, Gai?"
Tenten's heart fell. Damn it... damn it all... If only Gai wasn't such a good sensei! He knew- Damn, damn, damn! How come she had to be so good at spotting details?! It just wasn't fair!
"That would be my favorite kunoichi, Jiraiya-sama! Tenten may not be a Hyūga, but she doesn't miss a beat! And she's very skilled with Seals, as well. In fact, she's probably better than me!"
Jiraiya, displaying either a level of prescience Tenten was in no mood to credit him with, or a knowledge of Gai-Sensei's 'quirks' deeper than she'd have suspected (but which she felt he completely deserved to have suffered enough to earn), slapped a hand over the other man's mouth, preventing him from expounding further on the kunoichi's skills, and continued on, "So that'll be Naruto and Tenten as the second team, and me and Gai as the third. We'll take the north, Neji and Lee take the southwest, and Naruto and Tenten the southeast third. Use the taller spire over there as the center. If anything happens, send up a flare and come straight back to the camp-site if at all possible. That's anything bad, or good. But be on your guard. At it's prime, Uzu was a bastion of ninja strength, and there's probably all kinds of traps laying around the place. I'd rather sneak into one of Orochimaru's bases than sneak around Uzu. That's why you need a fūinjutsu user in each team; to disarm Seals if you spot them before you're trapped. The good news is that most traps will only trap you, they won't be lethal... although since Uzu was destroyed by war... you never know."
Jiraiya took a moment longer to think about other possibilities in silence, before turning back to the rest, "So, any questions? Problems with the teams? Tough! Get moving!"
In a flash and woosh of wind, the two older ninja and Tenten's other teammates vanished in a high-speed leap. Tenten would not turn and look at Naruto, though. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction. If he was going to be such a jerk, after that morning, then...
"Hey, Tenten?"
She didn't reply, except to start water-walking east. They had some ground to cover before reaching the area they were supposed to search. It'll be easier searching from the outside in. That way, if there's trouble, we'll see it easier too.
"Hey! I'm trying to apologize, here! It's not like I was trying to peep! And I'm not the one that fried your clothes! I just had to pee!"
For a heartbeat or two, Tenten paused, then started walking again without another word. Just because he was right (and damn him for being so, too) didn't mean she had to forgive him for seeing her nude. Or for the comments she'd heard from Jiraiya as she stalked away. Or the snickering and looks Naruto had been giving her all morning when he thought she wouldn't see.
You know what? Forget Naruto. I don't need a jerk like him anyway. I'd almost rather date Neji, and I just got over him!
(O)(O)(O)
As Gai and Jiraiya made their way past the ruins toward the north, the younger of the two Jonin looked backward for only a moment before setting his jaw. They will be fine. My students are each geniuses in their own right. I must have faith in them. Jiraiya-sama knows what he's doing.
And Gai was right. Jiraiya had known exactly what he was doing when he sent Naruto and Tenten off together. He was stirring up trouble.
(O)(O)(O)
"Careful, Lee," Neji said softly. His green-clad team mate froze, hanging motionless on the side of the pillar by one foot and glanced down at Neji. He followed the prodigy's gaze up to where he'd been about to place his foot. Slowly, it withdrew. With the sandal and his toes out of the way, Lee was just able to make out the faint scratches in the wood they were currently climbing.
Once the two were side-by-side, they bent to examine the scratches more clearly. They were about half-way up the pillar on the south-west corner of the square ruin, having chosen to get the lay of the land from a high vantage point before searching at ground level. The rune- or whatever it was- on the surface was crude, apparently carved into the wood with a knife in haste, but the image was clear. Lightning striking a stick figure. Worse, Neji could detect the faintest trace of chakra within the rough lines of the carving. It was most definitely a Seal of some sort. "It may just be a distraction," he said quietly, looking upward, where they'd been headed, for a moment, "meant to keep us from going further. Why would it show the effects it causes? Most Seals don't do that."
Lee nodded, frowning, "I have found that the seals Tenten uses are almost arcane in how much they hide their purpose. Even simple storage seals can be vastly different, depending on what they are designed to store."
Neji nodded, "Yes. But I have also seen one or two seals that illustrate the purpose... although one of those was deliberately misleading. Perhaps we should use a kunai to test this seal. From further away, at ground level."
Lee nodded, and the two immediately let go of the chakra holding the soles of their feet to the ancient wood, falling at once toward the ground.
(O)(O)(O)
"Quit worrying, Gai," Jiraiya said a few minutes later. They'd found a few outlying buildings which were surprisingly well-preserved near the edge of the valley. "They'll be fine. We have our own things to deal with. You can recognize standard security seals, right?"
The taller of the pair nodded, "Yes, Jiraiya-sama. Are the Uzu designs similar?"
The sage nodded as well, not looking at his companion. Instead, his eyes were trailing along with his hand, which was gliding along the open door frame of the first building they'd reached. The dwelling had been inhabited by animals for a long time, judging by the mess and smell, but might be worth checking anyway. "Similar... you could say that. Konoha's designs are based on the Uzu designs. I should know, me and Minato created half of them based on what Kushina brought with her."
Gai stepped to the side, and peered in a shattered window, careful not to touch the Seal-covered walls. "This appears to be fairly standard, unless I'm reading it incorrectly. I don't worry that Neji and Lee are all right. But what about Naruto and Tenten? I hate to say it, but she might allow Naruto to be harmed. She's rather angry at him. Most un-youthful of her."
Jiraiya chuckled, "Let's just say that gaki has a way with women, and leave it at that, shall we? They'll be fine. Naruto's no master yet, but he has some talent with fūinjutsu himself, or I'd not have taught him anything past the bare basics. No matter who his father was."
The last was said under his breath, and Gai had the good grace to pretend not to have heard.
"Besides," the white-haired shinobi continued, "How much trouble can a couple of teenage ninja get into?"
The ground shook, and the remaining windows of the building cracked or shattered as the shockwave from a massive explosion ripped past them.
"Damn it," Jiraiya frowned, "Not even five minutes... just five minutes, ya dumb brat!"
(O)(O)(O)
"C'mon, Tenten! I said I was sorry! How long are you gonna be acting like this?"
She, of course, ignored Naruto's wheedling as they walked down the dark forest path, careful to step only where the frequent cobblestones lay. She was a proud kunoichi of Konohagakure, and would not give in to the childish whining of someone she might, once, have almost possibly considered a friend. That she had (to herself) acknowledged that she might have over-reacted to him seeing her- only from behind, at first- in a state of undress did not, by any stretch of the imagination, mean that she would forgive him for goading (intentionally or otherwise) her into burning her clothes and weapons scrolls. The cost... Tenten shuddered. Six scrolls, twenty seals each, each holding twenty weapons of various kinds- fifty, for the two each shuriken and kunai seals. That was five hundred and twenty individual weapons she'd destroyed in a heartbeat. Something along the lines of five hundred thousand ryo, gone.
That was almost six years' pay. Six years of saving and scrimping every penny she could to build up a stock of weapons for her techniques of that magnitude. Some of them, as well, were rare, even one-of-a-kind weapons. Now, they were gone. Forever.
Tenten would not be forgiving Naruto any time soon.
As she stalked between two trees, a weight hit her from behind, tackling her to the ground. She saw a flash of yellow, and a lot of orange and black. With a grunt, the air left Naruto's lungs a moment after they hit the ground tumbling. She had spun as they fell, and brought her knee up to his gut (she'd been aiming lower, thinking he had gone mad and thought he might have a snowball's chance in hell of successfully attacking her sexually).
After she'd leapt to her feet, she saw Naruto, quivering, on the ground, holding his stomach with both hands. His eyes, though, were not fixed on Tenten, or closed shut in pain. Instead, they were behind her. Carefully, Tenten turned, reaching idly for a weapon scroll.
Only when her hands closed on nothing did she remember her dire thoughts of only seconds before. Her scrolls were gone, and with them her best means of protecting herself.
But from what? There was no attack, no threat. Only a slightly-glowing set of sigils between the trees, and... the lines were getting lighter. That usually wasn't a good thing.
Tenten took one step away before realizing that Naruto had actually just stopped her from stepping directly on top of the line of runes sketched into the cobblestones of the forest path they'd been following. With a long-suffering sigh, she stepped back in a rush, scooped up the still form of Naruto, and jumped away.
She saw a flash of light, heard a slight sizzle, and then nothing. As a faint stench of ozone trickled past her nose, Tenten turned to see a smoking line trace between the two large trees, as if a wall of lightning had appeared briefly and then vanished. "Wow... thanks, Naru-"
And then the huge pillar they'd passed a few minutes before exploded, sending huge chunks of orange-stained wood raining down around them.
Naruto, standing slowly, wheezed, "Damn it, Ero-Sennin! Can't you even disarm a simple seal right?"
Tenten, though, had already started running for the pillar at top speed, screaming, at the sight of one large piece falling directly over two patches of white and green.
(O)(O)(O)
When Jiraiya arrived on the scene, he was quite surprised to see- well, not see, his apprentice. "Guess I owe the brat an apology. It's usually him that causes destruction like this."
Gai, arriving a moment later, had a slightly different response. "Lee! Neji! Can you hear me? Are you all right?"
There was a muffled cry from near the larger slab, which appeared to be floating. At the edge of his vision, Gai noticed Tenten and, behind her, Naruto sprinting toward them across the pool. They would be here in moments. That was good... they would likely need the help of Naruto's clones, if he was right.
"Hold on!" Gai shouted, moving at a quick jog around the huge slab of wood, looking for the best place to grab hold. "Naruto-kun! Over here, about twenty clones! On the other corner, twenty more! I shall take the far side!"
The blonde, displaying what many who knew him would consider a surprisingly quick grasp of the situation, created the clones while still running for them. The two groups peeled off to their left at once, while he moved toward Jiraiya's side, where the sage was already bending down to grasp the huge slab of old wood.
As Naruto closed in, he was quite worried to see Neji crumpled on the ground at Lee's feet, the green-clad ninja, blazing with chakra, supporting the majority of the beam on his shoulders. "Crap," he muttered, sliding in beside his Sensei, "Lee's opened a Gate or two. He'll be down for hours at least. No exploring today."
Gai arrived at the opposite corner with Tenten and, with a mighty heave, the four ninja and forty clones began to strain upward.
Slowly, backs straining along with chakra coils, the twenty-meter slab of wood began to rise. Past the rushing in Tenten's ears the strain was causing, she could just make out Lee's growl of "Fourth Gate... Gate... of P-Pain... Open!"
The drastic increase in Lee's strength, something Tenten had witnessed on more than one occasion with the opening of the Fourth Gate did not allow them to throw the weight off completely, but it did take a great deal of strain off the others.
At her side, she heard their Sensei mutter to himself about foolish students who thought they had to put themselves at risk for every little thing, then say, "Fourth Gate, Gate of Pain- Open!"
With a mighty roar, the near end of the ruined pillar sprung upward to Gai's full, arms-raised extension, lifting it completely out of the reach of Naruto and Tenten, with Jiraiya only able to touch it by the tips of his fingers. Taking a moment to get a new grasp of the situation, Tenten saw that despite having the first four Gates open, Gai was struggling against the weight of half the slab himself. His knees were shaking, but... she would have time.
Without a moment's hesitation, the kunoichi threw herself down into the pool where Neji lay, half-submerged, but thankfully face-up. "Neji!" she cried, quickly checking for neck or spinal injuries before pulling him free with one arm under each shoulder, "Lee, we're clear! Get out of there!"
With a burst of chakra and spray of water, her energetic team mate appeared at her side, still flushed with the huge increase of blood flow and chakra from the third Gate he had opened earlier. "All clear, Gai-Sensei! You may put it down now!" he cried at the top of his lungs. Tenten, and further back Naruto, winced.
Neji, she noted, did not react at all, even to scowl. That was not a good sign. "Lee, calm down! Close the Gates! We aren't under attack and we're out from under that thing, so it isn't necessary to hurt yourself any more!"
It took a few seconds, while Jiraiya, Gai, and Naruto hurried over to them, for Lee so force his breathing, heartbeat, and chakra circulation down to normal levels again. Meanwhile, she was continuing to check Neji for injuries. She had found only one, but it was a little worrisome. As the two older ninja approached, she looked up at Gai, "He's got a head injury, but I couldn't see anything beyond minor abrasions. I'd say something hit him on the way down. Maybe the big chunk, maybe something smaller, but it's knocked him cold. Probably a concussion... but if it's anything worse, we need to get him to a medic right away."
Gai, though, only turned to the older shinobi. "Jiraiya-sama? It's your call, this is your mission."
The Toad Sage thought for a moment, glancing once to the northwest over the mountains toward Konoha, then to the ruins, and back to Neji, before answering. "We'll stay for a few hours. If he wakes up we'll just rest for the day. If he doesn't wake or starts getting worse, we'll head for Konoha as fast as we can... should only take a few hours at that rate."
Naruto, beside him, nodded gravely. "Yeah, that'll work."
Tenten, though, was not just confused, she was dumbfounded. "A few hours? We're two or so days away at Gai and Lee's top speed! How can you get there that fast?"
The white-haired man smirked, "Come on, let's get him back to camp. Naruto, get your clones moving on a stretcher already. I'm assuming you guys lost your medical gear with Tenten's scrolls?"
The kunoichi frowned at the lack of an answer, but Lee didn't seem to care, and Gai took Naruto and Jiraiya's apparent total belief in the impossible task they'd talked about. There were more important things to worry about, though. Like the fact that the crowd of orange-and-blonde that had gathered around them vanishing in several different directions, filling the once-quiet lake with cries of "Yosh!" and "Hurry, we gotta save Neji's ass!".
(O)(O)(O)
Half an hour later, the group of ten (surviving) clones had carefully, under Tenten's watchful eye, returned Neji to the campsite and laid him underneath a now-unfurled large tent, which had been propped up on it's poles rather than set up properly. She wanted easy access, and crawling into and out of a tent was just not that easy when you were trying to hurry.
"Okay," she growled after everyone had settled in for the few hours' wait, "first, how the hell are you getting to Konoha so fast with Neji? I know I can't run that fast."
Jiraiya finally replied with an 'I know more than you do' smirk adorning his face, "Simple- we aren't walking. The ones going to Konoha will be hitching a ride with a couple toads. They can cover ground even faster than Gai if they hurry... a lot faster."
Naruto groaned, but she ignored him (even though Naruto had saved her life and helped save Neji's, one after the other, not two hours earlier, she still was far too angry to forgive him for the disastrous start to her morning). "But... they're toads. Like... hoppy, amphibious things. How can they be that fast?"
Jiraiya, though, only waved her question off. "A better question would be how one can be so big as to carry people. But that's easy, surely you've seen Gai-kun's summons? Well, Toads, like the Turtles, have more than one creature summonable. Those with large chakra reserves and a great deal of power, such as yours truly-"
"And me!" Naruto interrupted.
The Sannin ignored him, though, just as he ignored Tenten's idle swat in his direction, "-can summon massive creatures. The one I'm thinking of is a moderately large one, she's only about three and a half meters long now, but is quite strong enough and fast enough to carry Gai to Konoha in hours. At least, if she takes this famous bridge Naruto's always going on about."
There was silence aside from the rustle of bandages as she continued to wrap the Hyūga's head and neck, and the crackle of the re-lit fire, which Naruto had begun poking idly at with a stick.
"But wait... if you're taking a toad, won't it be jumping? At high speeds, that could kill him. Even at low ones, and even if it's a minor concussion..."
The sage scowled at her, "Duh! I may not be Tsunade, but I do have good first aid training, you know. How could I not, with her cramming details into me at all hours of the night when she needed a study partner? Neji won't be going by toad."
Again, silence fell over the clearing.
"So... so you're bringing a medic back here, then?"
But Jiraiya shook his head, further confusing her. "You obviously know of Summons. But did you know a Summoning contract goes both ways? At least, the Toad's does. They can summon us, just as we can summon them, if the need is great enough. Gai's going to be taking a seal with him, which will be linked to a seal I'll put on Neji. When he gets to the hospital, he can put the seal on the ground and summon him right there. Poof, and done. Instant medical treatment... more or less. But anyway, this is all academic. We don't have to worry about it if he wakes up... though it might be a good idea anyway, concussions can be tricky."
(O)(O)(O)
Neji had indeed woken a couple of tense hours later, but Gai had already decided that he would go with Jiraiya's instructions and start on his way. Tenten had been quite impressed with the size of the large green toad, which, if anything, was even longer than the three or four meters the Sage had mentioned, but less so with the obvious lipstick and bow it wore on it's back, despite clearly being male. In addition, Naruto had inexplicably hidden at the pool from the moment Jiraiya had mentioned that he'd be starting the summons until Gai had been loaded, or more accurately, placed on the (apparently male, no matter how it dressed and acted) toad's back, holding himself on with chakra and disappeared with an accompanying rush of wind to the north-west.
Hours later, Tenten would belatedly realize that Gai had already opened four of the Celestial Gates, and likely would be in no shape to hold on to a speeding super-toad via chakra.
Of course, when the wind-swept and slimy spandex-clad Jonin was deposited on the floor of the Konoha Central Hospital's lobby by the two meter pink tongue of the green toad, he refused to answer any questions as to why he had been riding in said toad's mouth. It would simply be too un-hip, he muttered, if anyone heard how he'd been forced to travel once he'd ran out of chakra and fallen from the toad's back halfway there. Mentioning what the toad had repeatedly tried to do to him- perhaps mistaking him for a green-skinned mate- had been even worse, and would never be mentioned to anyone.
The few nurses who heard it vowed, however, to never let that rumor die.
(O)(O)(O)
Only as the sun set, though, did the full horror of the situation she'd been forced into set upon her. After having extracted every detail of what had happened from Lee, she, Naruto, and Jiraiya had sat back to wait for the signal- the toad popping back in to relay the message that Gai had arrived- before placing the seal (Tenten had tried to get a look at the design, but had been blocked by the Sage's expert derailment of her curiosity by asking how the spandex fit on her, because it certainly appeared to fit her like a glove... in all the right ways).
After Neji had disappeared in a puff of smoke, and Naruto had as well (apparently the him who'd come back from the pool was a Shadow Clone... but given the toad's reaction to his presence, she could almost understand why he'd avoided her), it dawned on the kunoichi that she was alone in the woods, days away from home and at least a few hours from any kind of town... and without the buffer of Neji or Gai-Sensei to protect her from Lee, or those two perverts.
And she had no clothes (aside from Lee's borrowed outfit), no weapons (with which to murder the latter two in their sleep), and...
"All right," the Sage said over dinner, "we'll start back up in the morning, just after dawn. Lee, you're with me. We'll take the north. Tenten and Naruto will get the south. Don't blow anything up on purpose again. Just avoid Seals and traps unless you really know what they do."
While she couldn't fault the advice, the fact that once again he'd paired her with Enemy Number One on her shit-list again...
Oh, and the fact that they still weren't going home after their long, bloody mission, and instead had been sent on an apparent suicide run, didn't help.
And did she mention the tent situation?
Jiraiya had flat-out refused to share with Naruto. Naruto had insisted he'd paid his price in losing out on breakfast and saving her life, so would be taking his tent back, thank you very much. Lee... well... he was quiet, true, but Gai had taken his tent, so he would be bunking with Jiraiya. And even though he was a 'responsible adult', she had no desire to put herself within twenty meters of the pervert's roving hands while he was 'asleep'.
"I'll stay up," she said, "I'm not tired. Don't worry about watches, I've got it."
She overrode any objections, claiming that she was too keyed up from the events of the day.
Reluctantly, the three men climbed into their tents and left the kunoichi in peace.
Sort of.
Jiraiya, she thought, had started snoring almost immediately.
But in the smaller tent, she heard the rustles of someone tossing and turning well into the night, and frankly, it was annoying.
But then, she mused, she would have found it annoying to find out Naruto was still breathing, so she was kind of glad he was having a bad night. That made two of them... and he deserved it more. Stupid peeping perverts...
(O)(O)(O)
It was a little past midnight that Tenten had a brainwave about the tent situation. No way was she sharing with Naruto. No way was she sharing with Jiraiya. Lee could, when properly sedated, be all right in a small tent. But the bowl-cut shinobi was in the larger of the two remaining tents with the Sannin, which left Jiraiya's normal tent- the one he had said was his own, anyway- free for Naruto to sleep in.
Since she'd agreed already to stay up all night, she hadn't even questioned it. Now, though, she was getting sleepy... and Naruto was owed some payback. But how to do it? How to prank the prank master? Because even if the behavior had mostly stopped in recent years, Tenten well remembered who had eluded ANBU for hours after painting the largest monument in the village in garish kabuki style.
I can't just knock him out, he'd feel any attack. I have to be indirect... Neji always carries some ninja wire and trap-making supplies. That should help. I'm glad Gai-Sensei thought to leave the gear here. Neji's stuff may not be a portable armory, but at least he has kunai, shurikens, tags and wire. And maybe... he did have the bout of nightmares after the last mission...
At the very bottom of the supply pouch normally worn by her stoic team mate, Tenten found a small wax-paper parcel with instructions clearly written in Sakura's handwriting in black. "Two tablespoons per night, no more than three days in a row with a week between... pretty potent stuff, it sounds like. This should do nicely... It will definitely knock him out for an hour or so if I just do a few leaves..."
With an almost sadistic grin, the kunoichi stole over to the small tent and listened for a few moments. Aside from the distant pool and night-forest sounds, she could just make out deep breathing and occasional mumbles of "Miso... Trout... Miso... Pork... Miso...".
Deciding he was well and truly out of it if he was dreaming about his favorite food, she slid open the unzipped flap and poked her head in quietly.
The blonde was sprawled out his back on top of the bedroll, with a line of drool running down his cheek. With his headband off, the golden hair was more wild than ever, but there wasn't enough light in the tent to admire it. "Heh heh... here you go, Naruto," she whispered, holding the few leaves she'd chosen from the packet over his open mouth, "Here's some of your favorite Ichiraku Ramen, Miso flavor. Eat up!"
As she dropped them in, he obligingly closed his mouth, chewed, and swallowed with a sudden smile on his face. "Thanks, Ayame-chan," he muttered, "tasty al... wa..."
The tempo of his breathing dropped still further in moments. Perfect!
Without hesitating, Tenten immediately set to work on her grand scheme.
(O)(O)(O)
When the kunoichi woke the next morning, it was to the sound of stifled laughter, terrified groans, and the snuffling of a large creature. It took a moment to figure out what the mirth was for, but once she did, Tenten let a huge smirk grace her features. She'd really done it... payback. And not just payback, but against the worst prankster in the entire Village Hidden in the Leaves. She was awesome!
Not as awesome as the site that greeted her tousled head when she stuck it out of the tent, though.
A half-naked (she hadn't wanted to remove his boxers... ew!) Naruto had been tied quite tightly to a tree, with hands separated far enough behind him he couldn't form hand seals, and then had his stomach covered in the small amount of honey Neji kept for his sweet tooth on the road.
On the other side of the clearing, Jiraiya was sitting calmly in the entrance to the larger tent, holding Lee back from rescuing the other shinobi, chuckling all the while.
Between them, though closer to the blonde, were two creatures. The smaller was a russet color, had four legs, and a short tail. The other was darker, shaggier, but similar in build. Bears. I didn't know bears lived on Nami no Kuni. Cool. I just expected badgers or bugs or something. Bears are way better, though!
"Looks like you have some admirers, Naruto!" she called. The two animals, the larger licking his stomach, and the smaller his knees, didn't so much as glance in her direction. Nor did he. Instead, he only muttered, "Nice bears! Good bears! Keep on licking the honey, don't go for the soft meat underneath! Nice bears!"
It was too much. She collapsed into a fit of girlish laughter that, had she been in Konoha with more witnesses, would have embarrassed her completely. As it was, though... Oh, Tenten, you are just so damned good!
(O)(O)(O)
"All right, so I'll go with Lee-kun this time," Jiraiya said as they looked over the (more than yesterday) ruins. "And I guess we'll take the north again, there were a few dwellings partially intact that we had just started to explore when we were interrupted yesterday. So Tenten and Naruto, you'll be on the south. Just give things a once-over unless you find something interesting, we don't have much time to waste. We should start heading back to Konoha by about noon tomorrow."
Grumbling, Tenten agreed. She and the blonde hadn't taken more than a few steps away from the others when Naruto said in a low voice, "I've got to hand it to you... that was pretty masterful. I might even have to be nervous about bears for a while... they'd been licking me for about three hours before you woke up. How did you get me tied up without waking up?"
Trying (and failing) to hide the smirk growing on her face, Tenten looked away and sped up slightly, "A girl never tells, Naruto. I thought Sakura taught you stuff like that?"
He snorted, "Sakura taught me how to avoid and take a punch. Not girly stuff. You know the only person I ever struggled- really struggled- with in Taijutsu fights was her? I could hold my own against the 'class genius' Sasuke, I could out-last even Kakashi-Sensei. But Sakura? Every single time, one or two hits and I was out. Even before she started training with Baa-chan for two years... It's scary what Sakura will be like with that kind of strength behind her."
Tenten smiled, "Yeah... Sakura's gotten pretty strong. Neji got a broken leg on a mission about six months ago, and she had him patched up and walking in ten minutes. Limping, yeah, but on his feet and moving. And I had the fortune to watch her and Tsunade-hime train in evasion... it was... impressive. Even I'd have a hard time hitting Sakura now!"
Naruto ignored the boasting, but gave a low whistle anyway. "Evasion training with Baa-chan? That's scary stuff! The night we met, she finger-flicked me in the forehead and sent me two blocks. If she was really trying to hurt you... or even just hit you... but a week later, she was punching Hebi-teme over and over, and he just shrugged it off. Is Orochimaru really that strong?"
He had trailed off, almost as if talking solely to himself, but Tenten answered anyway.
"Orochimaru? He is one of the Densetsu no Sannin, even if he's a snake-scaled traitor. It makes sense he'd be as strong as Tsunade-hime."
Naruto shook his head, and replied more firmly, "No, it's not that... he was shrugging them off like she wasn't even hurting him at all. This is Baa-chan. She can shatter giant trees, a castle, in a single hit. And he took like, two dozen or something and never even seemed to feel it. Nobody- nobody- is that strong. Especially not Pale and Snakey."
Curious, Tenten seemed to forget her annoyance- her righteous anger- at Naruto for a while. "So... the rumors say that when you were off with Jiraiya-sama bringing Tsunade-hime back, you guys ran into Orochimaru. Is that where you saw them fighting? Did he attack Tsunade-hime or something, and you guys had to rescue her?"
Naruto snorted, "No... it didn't exactly happen like that. The lush was being bribed by the snake-bastard. He'd promised to bring her little brother and boyfriend back from the dead or something, if she healed his arms from what old man Jiijii did to him at the Chunin Exams."
Tenten gave a low whistle, "Wow... I didn't know she even had a brother. And he died?"
Naruto nodded, "Yeah. From what I heard from Jiraiya later, he was about my age at the time- twelve or thirteen- when he died. This jewel necklace," he picked it up and showed the kunoichi, "was something she gave him after he'd sworn to be Hokage and build a peaceful world. Right after his birthday. He went on a mission... and died. It was during the Second War, I think. The day after he got the necklace, he died. I'm not sure if it was before or after, but apparently Baa-chan also gave the thing to her boyfriend- he was a ninja named Dan, but I don't know anything else about him- and he died the next day too. She was there, and tried to save him... that was what caused her hemafortia."
"Her what?"
Naruto shrugged, "I donno. It's some weird thing, and I wasn't paying attention when Shizune-nee-chan said it. She used to get really scared, like full-on paralyzed, by the sight of blood. Ero-Sennin thinks that was what caused it."
"Oh... so why do you call her Baa-chan? Isn't that, you know, disrespectful? She is the first female Hokage, you know, and the grand-daughter of the First Hokage. I thought you worshipped those guys?"
Again, the blonde snorted, "I did, and I do. Old man Jiijii was the first guy who ever really showed me affection outside of old man Teuchi. Even if I didn't know anything else about the Hokage, that'd have been enough. I mean, Jiijii was the kind of guy who'd see a lonely, scared orphan kid with nothing and pick him up, give him a hug, and take him to eat ramen. Then, the next day, he'd put his life on the line and die to save a whole Village. That's just the kind of guy he was. All the Hokage are like that. Even if Baa-chan's a horrible drunk with an even worse temper."
Tenten's open palm met the back of Naruto's head before she could stop herself. He stumbled slightly and glared sideways at her, "What was that for?"
Glowering, the kunoichi replied, "Lady Tsunade is not a drunk! She's the most powerful kunoichi in the world! She deserves respect!"
Naruto stopped in his tracks and turned to look at her. "Have you ever actually talked to the old hag? I know her. Pretty damned well, I think. She drinks about two gallons of sake a day. She's a terrible gambler, never wins at all. And when she does, she assumes the worst thing in the world is coming, panics, and runs off for the hills. Don't get me wrong... I love the old bag. She's the closest thing to a mom or a grandma I've ever known, but she's not perfect. Besides... someone needs to call her on her shit. And apparently no one else has the balls to do it, so I stepped up."
For a moment, she debated calling him on his own bullshit, but... it was true, wasn't it? She'd certainly met the Hokage on more than one occasion. She'd been there when Lee had had his surgery, and several times before when the not-yet-sworn-in Hokage had been researching the issues with the surgery as well. Tenten had, after all, been spending almost all day every day in the hospital with one friend or another, usually Lee.
And the mission room, of course. It seemed it was part of the Village leader's duty to spend at least a day per week handing out mission scrolls personally. But... did she really know the woman? Naruto certainly spoke as if he did. Of course, he was very informal with everyone... but who else would dare call the Hokage 'grandma' or 'old woman'? Worse, hadn't he called her 'the old hag' just a minute ago? Maybe she wasn't perfect after all.
But no... she was still the first female Hokage, and still probably the most dangerous kunoichi to ever live. She was still Tenten's hero, no doubt about that... even if she did drink a little bit and had some issues with recreational gaming. She herself enjoyed a little pachinko now and then. That, she knew, was something else she and the Hokage had in common. "But still, she's the Hokage."
Naruto started walking again, shrugging as he did so, "She's also a human being, Tenten. I know better than most what it's like to be thought of as a 'thing'. Believe me, I know exactly why she hasn't killed me for calling her 'Baa-chan' yet. Me and Ero-Sennin are probably the only people who treat her like a person any more. Even Shizune-nee-chan, who spent years travelling alone with her, treats her with kid gloves. That's... well, it's got to get old after a while."
That thought made Tenten freeze, much like Naruto had done a few seconds earlier. What would that be like?
Not ostracized as such, but with everyone who saw you giving you deference, respect you might not have earned, bowing to your slightest wish as if it was gospel, even if it was crazy? Sure, on the surface, it sounded great. But ten years down the road? No one even daring to speak up with their own opinions, lest it contradict whatever you said? That... Naruto was right. That would get old, and in a hurry. "Yeah... I guess I can see that. Still, I don't think I can just drop the title and call her Tsunade- or Senju-san any time soon."
Naruto just shrugged again, "'S not a big deal. She's sane enough, I guess, and if it was you, she'd probably punch you from one end of Konoha to the other if you called her grandma."
Tenten chuckled. It was strange... not an hour before, she'd been ready to kill the asshole walking next to her. Had, in fact, laughed as two bears mauled his stomach with their tongues (and been proud of herself for setting it up). But now, not only had she almost forgiven him for the whole fiasco of earlier, he was shedding new light on her hero, changing her whole world view with just a few simple words. And... and she liked it.
Who knew the annoying- the most annoying- person she knew could have been such a great conversationalist?
"Hey, Tenten?"
"What's up, Naruto?"
"I'm really proud of you for this morning. It was well done."
"Oh... uh, thanks." She hadn't been expecting that. To be praised by Konoha's greatest prankster after getting one over on him? Maybe she really was the best!
"But you know it's not over, right?"
Again, Tenten stopped in her tracks.
That feeling... it couldn't have been someone walking over her grave. She wasn't even dead yet. Nah... just a cold flash... her blood was still warm and pumping, that wasn't ice in her veins. "Br- bring it on!"
Naruto, a few steps ahead now, nodded solemnly. "I will. I hope you're ready... there's a reason people say I'm the worst and best. Anyway, looks like some writing on the tree there. I wouldn't get closer than, say, ten feet until we look at it... there's a warning sigil, I think."
Cautioned by Naruto's earlier words more than the recent, Tenten stopped about fifteen feet away. Just in case.
Naruto, though, strode calmly forward until just past the eleven-foot mark, smirking as he passed her. "Looks old, but I bet it's still functional. What do you think this was? An exterior house wall? Or a garden wall? It's made of stone, but the mortar, if there is any, is really thin."
Tenten was struck with a feeling of minor incongruity. What did this former street-urchin (though she'd known he had an apartment for a long time, he was all-but homeless, since he had no parents and almost no income after he'd left the orphanage where he was first raised) know about wall construction? But Naruto, like herself, was a ninja, and that meant D-ranks. Likely, he knew quite as much about the actual construction of stone walls as she did, it was a very common asignment. Along with baby-sitting, painting, cleaning, taking out the trash, grocery shopping, gardening, mowing lawns... if it could be fawned off on someone else, odds are someone would pay for it. As a result, most ninja, by the time they graduated from Genin to Chunin, had at least a working knowledge of dozens, often hundreds, of professions.
It came in quite useful, sometimes. Often, really, like right now.
"It looks exterior. A garden wall wouldn't have the char from wood bracing on the other side, right? But look at that piece further to the left."
Naruto's head swivelled, but Tenten still did not move closer. Sure, it might be safe to stand eleven feet from the wall, but... would it be safe to stand next to him? Doubtless, he had some clever scheme already in mind. Probably a hand-buzzer or whoopi cushion or something... rotten eggs to throw at her came to mind. Naruto... that'd be right up his alley. No, she decided, she would stay right where she was, thanks. Far enough to dodge anything he sent her way.
"You might want to come here."
Tenten was broken from her mounting paranoia with a start, but she remained where she was. "I'll stay right here, thanks. I don't want to get anywhere close to your striking range."
Naruto looked back at her, then pointed up. "Okay, but he seems to take offense at you just standing there. That's why I moved."
For just a brief moment, Tenten contemplated sticking her tongue out at him and calling his bluff. But the flutter next to her right ear made the brunette jump, then flee toward the blonde as fast as she could.
Standing on his other side, she finally felt safe enough to turn around and look. It wasn't much... just a spider a few inches across. Probably, they'd stepped through it's warning threads as they arrived in the area, and it had thought they were prey. Still... "Naruto, you jerk! You could have told me before it got close enough to bite me!"
The blonde snorted, "And miss the fun? Besides... you might prefer the spider."
"What? Why?" she asked.
He pointed behind her again, then reached out a hand to grab her arm, yanking her towards himself.
Quicker than she could process, he'd covered her body with his own, arms curled around her, a half-heartbeat before the blast went off.
But it was strangely muted. In fact, the blast hadn't even been a roar, more of a whimper or hiss. A hiss that was continuing.
Worried, she looked up, dreading the sight of a burning explosive tag. But no... what Tenten saw was far stranger.
Three Narutos- obviously shadow-clones- were holding a ball of incandescent white-blue light between them. Each was covered in sweat, and they were holding their hands together as if to compress the ball together from all sides. The Naruto holding her puffed out.
"Tenten," the closest of the remaining trio grunted, "get back... about ten meters. If you have a signal flare, call Ero-Sennin... this is hard to hold. Hurry."
For a moment, she simply stared. She'd seen Sasuke's Chidori in action, and this looked in some ways similar. But it was not a blaze of lightning chakra, it was a sphere full of energy so bright it was painful to look at. And it was not crackling, but spinning at a velocity she couldn't hope to track.
"Tenten! Move!"
She jumped again, this time backward. She flew past the large spider without noticing until she was long past it, and kept going. Only when she stopped, ten meters away, did Tenten realize that Naruto was still quite in the danger zone. In fact... she could already see the sphere becoming unstable. The clones continued to concentrate, one moved a hand slightly to compensate, but they were obviously running out of time.
She flipped Neji's supply pouch open and began digging. As she'd sorted it into her own configuration, Tenten had seen one signal flare. It would be hard to notice in broad daylight, but the crack might alert the Sannin to their location, or at least that a flare had been launched. She aimed upward toward a gap in the forest canopy and pulled the string of the little launcher.
The bolt flew from it faster than any shuriken she could throw, and then exploded into a bright blue firework in the shape of a yin-yang, the basis for the Hyuuga Clan signet. "Done! I sent up Neji's flare! What can I do? You can't just stay there!"
But Naruto shook his head and called back, "Just stay out of range! I saw a few more seals light up when this one was charging, so don't get any closer! I can take it if it goes off, but... I'm hoping the old fart gets here fast enough to help me diffuse it!"
Tenten ignored his instructions once he'd finished talking. Instead, she dashed forward again, this time idly slapping the tarantula out of her way, to stop at the side of the nearest one again. "I can help. I'm good with seals, remember?"
Grunting, Naruto- or at least that clone- allowed his eyes to roll. "Fine, whatever... can you draw a tetragram radiance seal in ten seconds or less?"
Tenten blinked. "Uh... what's a radiance seal?"
"Exactly," he grunted. "Fine, whatever... just... channel chakra upward. Put your hands right below it, gather all the chakra you have in your hands, and aim it upward on my mark. Like tree-walking, but as hard as you possibly can. Okay?"
She nodded, and assumed the position he'd designated.
"All right... I'm starting to lose control... on... three... two... one..."
Tenten's chakra burst upward...
And nothing happened.
The ball of light continued to spin in Naruto and his clones' hands.
But it was not shaking as it had been.
The sphere was perfectly round again, and glowing almost like a light bulb, soft and steady. Still spinning, but...
"Naruto..."
All three of them grinned. "Yeah, Tenten?"
"This was a prank, wasn't it?"
One of them shrugged, "Not just one... I think there were three. Right, boss?"
One Naruto shook his head- Tenten had been mistaken, it was the one on her immediate right, not the one she'd originally been closer to, that had answered.
When her foot hit that one's shin as hard as she dared with Neji's soft sandals, the other two clones and the ball of light vanished. The remaining Naruto hopped around on one foot for several seconds, complaining about how he hadn't hurt Tenten with his pranks, and how unfair it was that he'd been kicked.
Tenten, though, only huffed in annoyance. "So, radiance seals aren't real, huh? I thought it sounded fishy. I bet these-"
But, suddenly motionless and no longer hopping, Naruto had grabbed her hand a moment before she touched one of the newly-glowing seals.
"Don't touch it. That is a radiance seal. Think like a flash-bang tag, but a hundred times stronger. They can blow out eardrums at a hundred paces, blind people permanently. You don't want it going off with us right here."
For a long moment, Tenten debated trusting him on this. It could be another prank... but better safe and look foolish than sorry and be blind or deaf forever. Right?
A few minutes later, Jiraiya and Lee came crashing through the undergrowth toward them. As soon as they saw Naruto, the blonde raised his hands, "Hey, old man- come check these seals out."
Tenten missed the wink he sent in the other's direction. Lee caught it, but had no idea what it meant, and so said nothing.
"High-level radiance seal, right? I just got done telling Tenten they were about a hundred times stronger than a flash-bang, but this might be even worse. I didn't want to disarm them until you had a chance to jot it down. Might be useful to have."
Jiraiya grunted. "Hm. Looks like you might be right, kid. A seal like this would go for about six hundred ryo a piece. Lots more than a standard flash-bang. And they aren't all that complicated... but probably beyond any journeyman-level artist. You and me should be able to copy them down all right."
Naruto grinned. He knew Tenten was not exactly the most mercenary of the 'rookie twelve', but she had, by far, the largest budget, so she cared about money even more than he did... and he grew up practically broke. Those weapons were expensive, and she had an armory to replace... and had just been told she wouldn't have that source of extra income. Nice... "So, you want to expand 'em, or should I? Probably ought to let Lee and Tenten explore a bit once we break the guard-line... I doubt there'd be any more wards past here, it looks like it used to be residential."
Glancing around at the remains of old, overgrown roads (almost-clear lines between trees that curved and twisted irregularly), wall fragments no higher than his waist... "Yeah, sounds good. I'll do it, save a bit of time."
(O)(O)(O)
An hour later, Tenten was no longer fuming about the loss of potential income that came from not being allowed to try and produce those 'radiance seals'. She and Lee had, through a bit of trial and error but mostly analytical thinking, indentified what must once have been a hidden bunker for one of the wealthier families. They hadn't been able to open it, the seals were far more than the standard she kept on her own home (which she could break on another home in about five minutes, regardless of what that old coot Jiraiya and the jerk Naruto thought of her skills in fuuinjutsu), but Tenten had been able to tell that the seals had been opened just once, more than a decade go, and not been opened since. Perhaps there was a family in there, somehow... or at least, supplies. People didn't build bunkers and not stock them. Right? That was crazy.
No one would spend untold amounts of money on a super-secret, high-power bunker and allow it to be improperly prepared for actual habitation. That was just... yeah, no one would do that.
So she and Lee had gone back to Naruto and Jiraiya, and waited patiently for the two to finish their work analyzing the much-expanded seal matrix. Within a few minutes of that, Jiraiya had moved on to removing the line from the general area, allowing them safer passage, and Naruto had been sent to the bunker to see if he could get in as a 'final test' of his 'adept' status.
"Hm. That's a big-ass door."
Lee agreed with Naruto, "I have seen a similar door in Konoha's treasury vault on a C-rank mission guarding it. Gai-Sensei and I were unable to force it open! These are most secure doors!"
Naruto replied, "Why were you and Gai-Sensei trying to break into a door you were guarding?"
Tenten rolled her eyes and slapped a hand over Lee's mouth. "Don't ask. All you need to know is, they thought they heard something inside and wanted to check. They didn't stop to think about the security forces they were calling down from the seals on the door... they just kept teaming up and trying harder. Gai and Lee were both on five gates when the other security talked them down... and we got no pay for that week's work, because of the trouble."
Lee looked ashamed, but Naruto laughed. "Sounds like a good time... but let's see what I can do, hm?"
Tenten watched him work, and was actually quite surprised. She had expected the blonde to be boisterous, energetic, and plow through the problems. She had not expected Naruto to stand calmly in front of the door for five minutes, with one finger at the center of the seal to keep it expanded, while he looked it over.
"Right Castiglio barrier... truncated oblong warding... Nellis setup... back to the left in a reverse Castiglio... inverted trigram..."
This continued for the entire five minutes, and probably a little beyond, before Naruto poked three sections that looked almost indistinguishable from each other to Tenten with a softly-glowing finger. A moment later, he did the same in reverse order, then jabbed at the center of the door with the other hand, all five fingers now glowing, and twisted his arm clockwise.
With a snap and hiss, the door slowly slid open a few inches before Naruto released it from his chakra-grip and turned to the members of Team Gai, smiling confidently?. "See? No problem!"
Tenten ignored his posturing in favor of glaring at him. "How come you got to train with a Sannin? I've got more fuuinjutsu talent in one arm than you have in your whole body, but I can't get that kind of training! You and Sakura got all the luck! Hell, even Sasuke got Orochi-"
Tenten stopped, but feared it was already too late.
Naruto's expression had fallen. A moment later, though, he looked up, grinning. Tenten passed it off as a momentary glitch, and tried to ignore the pain she saw in his eyes, regardless of the smile.
"Well, when you have an awesome Genin Sensei like Kakashi, it's hard not to be noticed by the best!"
"Ooh, Naruto!" Lee cried, "You and your Sensei are both so cool and hip! I wish Gai-Sensei were as cool as-"
But he was silenced by Tenten's fist hitting the back of his skull. "Shut it, you two... let's go see what's inside!"
As the shinobi pulled the door open, Tenten took the lead, slipping in before they could. It might have been risky, yes... who knew if there was another seal array just inside? But she couldn't let them be the first to actually enter a surviving part of the ruins... it just wasn't right. It was her right as the true ruins-lover amongst them.
The tunnel stretched ahead into darkness. She could make out two branches, but that was as far as the light reached. "Bring a light," she called, and both saw the shadows dance and heard the hiss of Lee's magnesium flare being lit before the two boys followed her in.
The walls were gray stone, probably granite, and smooth, though striated. Likely, the hillside the bunker had been carved into was once bedrock. The were six shallow stairs going downward, with no apparent seam she could see. After those, the hall went another twenty-five feet before branching left and right in a T, with two alcoves mid-way down on either side as well.
"Let's split up," Tenten said, "Lee can come with me. Naruto, since you're so good, you can go alone."
The blonde shrugged, "Whatever. Can't be worse than half the crap Ero-Sennin made me do alone for the last two years. I'll go right, I guess."
The first two rooms on either side seemed to be ante-chambers, though each were large. They had shower heads and tile against the far wall on both sides, with a row of benches and empty lockers in the middle of each. Six lockers on each side, twelve per room, allowed for a lot of gear storage, but each was empty except for a pair of thick, sturdy boots far too large for Tenten's feet in one of the lockers on the left. They might have fit Jiraiya's feet, but not the kunoichi's.
After Naruto split from Team Gai's present members, they found nothing but several bedrooms. Each was searched, though they lined both sides of the now-curving hall, but they found nothing useful. The beds had mattresses, there was furniture, but no bedclothes, no food, no weapons, and no sign of what had happened to the survivors, if there were any, when Uzu had been attacked. They had passed the ninety-degree point and had started heading back toward the central axis of the large bunker when Naruto's voice rang through the corridor from both ahead and behind. "Tenten! C'mere, I got something for you! Lee, I'm gonna need your help too!"
With a quick mark on the wall from his half-burned flare to mark their position, the pair hurried ahead. They passed what Tenten thought were probably a communal room and a kitchen, then a pantry and storage room- all four marked with signs that made her suspect her guesses were right- before finding another room with light shining from the doorway.
When they reached it, Tenten was unsurprised to see the blonde holding a flare of his own over his head. She was more surprised to see a trunk full of clothing... female clothing. And a single emaciated corpse on the bed in a fetal position.
The girl couldn't have been more than twenty when she died, but... she didn't know how she'd missed it. Curled in the woman's arms was a tiny skeleton, no more than a foot long... had she just given birth when they were forced into the bunker, and no one had been able to come with them?
Worse, Tenten's keen eyes could not help but see the crack in the tiny skeleton's neck, or the kunai which lay atop the much-faded but still-dark stain that surrounded the woman's skeleton.
"She... she killed her baby, then herself? But... but why?"
Naruto, his voice solemn, looked over at her. "Because she knew Uzu was gone. Her journal... her name was Uzumaki Beniko. She was... probably a relative of mine. So was the... the kid, I guess. But she didn't want the little thing to grow up with just her, so... so she killed it to save it that pain, then killed herself. She left a note... she said only a true master would ever find the place, but she hopes it was a surviving Uzumaki, and... and I had to stop reading."
Tenten tried to swallow past the lump in her throat, but it was not easy. "She... do you want us to leave you alone? I mean..."
Naruto shook his head, "No. No... they're gone, and happier wherever they are. They're just bodies. I wanted Lee to help me carry this trunk out, it's heavy. There's something underneath the clothes, but... there's... well, I didn't want to dig too far."
With another look, Tenten immediately understood why. Ladies' undergarments. Naruto might be a horrible pervert (and she still had not gotten full revenge for him peeping!), but he seemed quite uncomfortable with digging through panties and bras. With an eye roll, Tenten turned toward the open journal and pen on the small table beside the bed. "You want me to carry those out, at least? Should we take... them? Or leave them here?"
For a minute, Naruto seemed torn, and glanced back and forth between the skeletal figures and the door, before shaking his head. "No... no, they're at peace. Let's just leave them... I don't want to disturb any g-gh-ghosts."
Smiling to herself at the reminder of Naruto's only real fear, she nodded. "All right... but if I get cursed for touching the journal when I'm not an Uzumaki, I'm sending the ghosts after you, Naruto!"
Before she could reach it, or even laugh, the blonde had started as if he'd been touched from behind by an invisible figure, then snatched up the book and stuffed it in his pocket before turning to the trunk. "N- N- Nevermind! I got it... don't need to haunt me, ghost-lady! I'm an Uzumaki, name's Naruto! I don't know my mom's name, but I know I got the family name from her, so... y-yeah! Don't haunt or curse me!" Then, in a softer voice, obviously hoping no nearby spectre could hear, hissed to Lee, "Come on, slow-poke! Let's get these clothes out of here so Tenten can look through 'em!"
Tenten, being relegated to picking up the pieces that fell from the trunk as the two 'brave, strong shinobi' fled from the only occupied- if only by the dead- room of the bunker, laughed as they sped ahead, even if they were taking the only lights with them. After all, she was walking in the same direction, and could see the faint outline of the halls now that her eyes had adjusted. As long as she wasn't ambushed by ghosts herself...
Tenten suddenly hurried ahead.
(O)(O)(O)
Around the campfire that night, Jiraiya had been quite impressed with their haul. The clothing, he had explained, had been quite fashionable in Uzu at the time. In fact, he went on, the basis for Tenten's usual outfits came from the same sense of style. That explained to Tenten why she found the clothing so appealing... not to mention why it seemed like it would fit her so well. It was just like what she normally wore, not like the green travesty she had been forced to wear for...
But wait...
"Uh... Naruto?"
"Yeah, Tenten?" he asked, nervously. She had, again, tried to ruin his dinner, but a shadow clone had caught the berries and venison before it had hit the ground. In retaliation, she had tried to salt it overly-much, but he had again escaped. This time, he wondered if it was even possible.
"Are you ready for me to forgive you for peeping on me?"
"I wasn't peeping! I swear! I just... I just wanted a bath! But you beat me to it- if you'd been bathing, I'd have probably heard, and-"
"Whatever, whatever... look, I have a... proposition."
Jiraiya's eyes lit up, but he attempted to feign nonchalance.
Tenten, for once, ignored him. Maybe treating the older pervert nicely would help in her deal with the younger... and if not, she could always hit him later. "I... I really like those clothes. Do you think it'd be okay if I can... you know, borrow some? Just until we get back to Konoha? If you do, I'll forgive you for peeking."
Naruto's eyes narrowed. "Those belonged to my family, Tenten. Even if I didn't know them."
She nodded hurriedly, "I know, I know! That's... look, how about this. You saw me naked... and I saw you in your boxers. So I guess you could say we're almost square, so..."
While she trailed off, Naruto and Jiraiya happened to be sharing thoughts- if they were going by that comparison, then they both felt Naruto had gotten the much better end of the deal.
"Well... how about if I also don't blame you for making me ruin my scrolls? For just, say, two outfits and underwear? You have no idea how itchy this thing is... well... without another layer."
The blue eyes narrowed further, but the whole while, the wheels had been turning in the prankster's head. "Go on..."
Tenten blushed. "I'm not talking about that any more! That's it, two outfits for me forgiving you for both the peeping and getting my arsenal ruined! My final offer, take it or leave it!"
Naruto shrugged after a few seconds, "Okay... but I can do you one better. How about you let me size those for you. I'm not bad with adjusting clothes, and while they might fit all right, they won't fit well I don't think."
Lee blinked. "Naruto-kun, how do you know how to sew?"
The blonde only shrugged, "D-ranks, same as I know every other non-jutsu skill I have except gardening. Team Seven had two weeks straight at this tailor's downtown. He said I was a natural, but I hated it... I think he just liked that the pinpricks I got healed in seconds so I didn't get blood all over, 'cause I poked myself a lot."
Tenten enjoyed the image for a few seconds with a faint smile, which then narrowed suspiciously. "And how do I know you won't... do anything to them?"
Naruto only shrugged. "You don't, I guess, but I'll give you my word. If you aren't satisfied with them when you try them on, I'll pay for half your arsenal's replacement with each one you aren't honestly satisifed with. And if you like both... meh, don't worry about it."
After a few more moment's thought, Tenten agreed. "All right... when can you start?"
"As soon as I get your measurements."
At once, she blushed. Naruto's deadpan delivery didn't hide the gleam in his or Jiraiya's eyes.
"N- No! What are you-"
The blonde shrugged again, "I may have 'seen', but I didn't exactly get a good look. I can't tell sizes like that anyway, I have to actually measure... unless you know them offhand."
Five minutes' argument later found Tenten standing in the larger tent in her new/borrowed underwear (thankfully rather plain, she didn't want Naruto to get more ideas than he doubtless already would, even though they weren't exactly flattering), with the shinobi kneeling at her hip.
"Aand... that's it. OK... I should have them altered by tomorrow morning if I take the night's watch. I'm not tired, so it'll be all right... and I promise I won't come into your tent or do anything to you at all over night. I'll be busy working on these."
She watched carefully as he spoke, but could see no lie in his eyes. Either he was very good, or he was being honest... but he was still up to something. Whatever it was, though, she might just have to wait and see. Maybe he was just happy about being able to serrupticiously oggle her in her new underwear... damned pervert.
By the time she had chosen a more functional and a better-looking outfit from the wardrobe (the more functional very closely resembling a stylized form of her old Genin outfit but one that fit her older form better) and retired, Lee had gone to bed as well. An hour later, Jiraiya whispered, "Hey, Brat... what are they?"
"You wouldn't believe me."
"... Try me."
"She's five-ten, maybe one-thirty, mostly muscle. Not muscular, but well-toned. And I'm not giving you 'those' measurements. She'd kill me. Suffice it to say... she binds them regularly. But not too tight, if you know what I mean."
The Sage of Mount Myobyoku chuckled for several minutes before wishing his student, already busily at work on the outfits, a good night.
(O)(O)(O)
"I have to hand it to you, Naruto," Tenten gushed while looking at herself in the pool's flat surface just after dawn the next morning, "you really are good with a needle. It fits like a glove, and isn't anywhere close to as hideous as sp-sp-spa-spandex."
Tenten could not completely repress the shudder she felt as she remembered being forced to wear one of those... those things for more than twenty-four hours. "This looks really good on me!"
Naruto smiled with a light blush. "Thanks, Tenten. So... we're even?"
She grinned back, "For now. But if you keep pranking... we're so going to go forever."
He shrugged, "I can live with that. It's more fun when people fight back anyway... But don't bother being on guard. You won't expect it when it happens anyway."
Resisting the urge to panic (fortunately), Tenten instead continued to admire herself and her clothing until Jiraiya assembled them to begin scouting again. They would search the bunker more thoroughly in the morning, then check the few houses he and Lee had been checking in the afternoon, before heading for Konoha again early the next morning.
Of course, as Tenten checked herself out, bending and flexing to admire the new fit, she failed to notice that the outfit, which was obviously designed for a ninja in it's flexibility, shrunk ever so slightly.
Lee never noticed.
Jiraiya and Naruto, though, shared a quick look. While the new outfit's change from the earlier version was subtle, it had specifically been altered with a cunning use of fuuinjutsu to shrink slightly when body heat activated it. So when Tenten put on the suit, it fit perfectly and she was quite happy, thus adhering to Naruto's end of the deal.
Now, though... it was just snug enough to reveal a little more curve, a little more definition in the legs, hips, waist, and chest...
And Tenten hadn't noticed.
Naruto, after sharing the knowing glance with his Sensei, grinned while simultaneously breathing a sigh of relief. If or when she did notice, he was probably dead... but he was still the reigning prank-master. He had a reputation to uphold, after all... there was no way he could just let their little war go.
That just wasn't his ninja way.