A/N: Consider this a down payment... the next chapter of OH 'IS' partially written, and the only mention of Sasuke/Hinata in it is talking about the wedding and timing, not actually them. I don't believe they're even mentioned by name. Still, while I do have the next chapter partially written, I don't want to be late for my scheduled early-AM (to me) post time, so you here go.
As an apology (still) for the long time between posts this last month or two, I'll ALSO be posting the next chapter of OH when it gets through my beta- even if it's not Sunday.

As always, thanks of course go to my beta, Mouse, and even more thanks to those who actually reviewed (It's not that hard, people... just a few words to let me know how I'm doing, what you like, or what you don't...).

Finally, there's a formatting error towards the end of the chapter- like the last page or so in OpenOffice- that I can't find and/or fix. Everything before that SHOULD be spaced properly, and everything after that is more wall-of-text. There's lines, because I put in hard returns, but it may not appear the same. If that's the case, sorry- I'd fix it if I could. Any input would be appreciated. :)

Edit: The formatting problem wasn't fixed (though someone was nice enough to point it out even with that note about it above already in here... ;) , but I've now gone through and hard-edited it. But seriously, if anyone has any idea why it keeps dropping formatting like that- for part of the document, no less- I'd love to hear about it or any fix.

Chap. 3 Konoha

"Alright, we'll head back to Konoha after lunch, since the rest of our search has turned up relatively little. If you want to make a good impression on the people back home, Naruto, now's the time to get cleaned up. It's been pretty dusty work."

The younger shinobi nodded, "All right, Ero-Sennin. Tenten... no peeking while I wash up!"

Tenten scowled at him across the cookfire, "Like I would! Who would want to see you naked?"

Before Naruto could answer, Lee spoke up with a hand raised, "Ah! Tenten-san, didn't you just strip Naruto down to his underwear yesterday morning and tie him to a tree?"

"W- N- No way! I only did that to-" but as the kunoichi continued to splutter that she had only done it as part of a prank, Naruto smiled as he walked away. It was all going according to plan... he'd only have to suffer whatever minor prank Tenten pulled next, then he wouldn't have to feel bad about retaliating (and stepping it up a notch) again. Two more pranks, if his plan went as it should, and he would have another opportunity to take the picture he'd wanted to when she was standing by the pool at dawn two days earlier.

After all... pervert or not, it had been a very beautiful scene. And he wasn't just talking about the surroundings.

He didn't notice the wires attached to his clothing, since Tenten's cleverly-designed trap allowed the high-tensile wire to play out quickly.
He continued to be oblivious as he stripped and stepped into the pool with his soap and washcloth.

And the trend continued as Tenten stepped to her tent and hit the return button on Neji's auto-spool. With a quiet whirr and the hiss of microcable against canvas as the lines were pulled inward, Naruto's clothing was yanked from the untidy pile he'd created, through the light forest, and into her tent.

Five minutes later, she was done... and phase two of her next masterwork (which she could see frightening combat aplications for, if she could get an enemy unclothed... like that would happen easily) was complete. Now, all she had to do was set them in a pile near the fire, neatly folded...

Jiraiya winked at her as she stepped out of the tent. Lee, who had been busy dismantling the larger one, had apparently noticed nothing.

As Tenten sat down to eat her breakfast, a dismayed cry was heard from the pool.

"Hey! My clothes! Tenteeenn!"

The older shinobi stifled a chuckle. Lee looked toward the shout, but Tenten studiously ignored it, focusing on the nutrient bar she'd chosen rather than eat pool-caught fish again.

As a result, Lee's eyes bugged out slightly, and he spun around, shouting, "Naruto-kun! It's most youthful of you to display the muscles you've gained through hard work, but must you display all of them?!"

Unable to resist completely, Tenten was still able to control her peek to appear as nothing more than a casual, idle glance.

What she saw struck her more this time than it had in the dim light of yesterday. Naruto was quite... fit. Nothing like Lee, but certainly more muscled than Neji. Fortunately, she was not at all attracted to the younger ninja, and was able to look back toward her breakfast without being forced to wipe drool from her lips. She did have to work a little harder to swallow her bite, though... at least he'd found a large leaf to cover... well... himself with.

"Hey, Naruto. Since you did such a good job on my clothes, I thought I'd wash up yours. Neji keeps a small amount of soap- don't worry, I went far around the pool to where that stream to the south comes in. I didn't peek... you never noticed the wires." She held up Neji's auto-spool, which resembled nothing more complicated or larger than the spool of a fishing pole, though with a small motor attached. "Sorry I had to trick you... I didn't think you'd let me do something nice for you after the last couple of days."

Visibly fuming despite her apparent sincerity, Naruto stomped over to the neatly-folded pile of clothing and snatched it up, now holding it over his groin rather than the leaf, which drifted into the fire and ignited. "Gee, thanks, Tenten! Very mature of you... ask for a truce, then steal a guy's clothes. And people said I was an incorri- an in-"

"Incorrigible?" Jiraiya supplied, looking up from some kind of sandwich.

Naruto nodded, pointed with one hand at his sensei, and continued, "Yeah, that! An Incorrigible prankster. I know when to quit!"

Tenten only smiled as innocently as she could. "But Naruto- I swear, I didn't peek or anything, and surely you've seen Lee and Jiraiya-sama before in one onsen or another? Besides... if I was going to prank you, I wouldn't go for something so easy as swiping your jumpsuit!"

It seemed he had no argument for that, because the blonde only grumbled as he shuffled back into the trees backwards.

Tenten tried to hide her smirk behind the nutrient bar, but it was a little small.

"What'd you do to his clothes? Itching powder?"

Tenten shook her head at the Sannin's question. "No... nothing so juvenile. Let's just say... I hope he can hold it if he needs to go to the bathroom on the way home."

Jiraiya was still chortling by the time Naruto returned.

Fifteen minutes later, camp broken down, they were ready to move out. "All right... Konoha, here we come!" Naruto cried.

Jiraiya waved a hand, "Calm down, Gaki! It's still several hours away, sheesh. Do you have to yell in my ear?"

But Naruto's enthusiasm could not be contained. "Yes! It's home, old man! I haven't seen Sakura-chan, or Hinata-chan, or Shikamaru or Choji or Kiba or... that... you know, that one guy. The quiet one. I haven't seen any of them in ages! Don't you miss Baa-chan, too?"

Jiraiya shrugged, "I always miss Tsunade-hime's- well... her. But I'm used to it, I guess. Come on, let's go... we'll only take one break, and go all-out. I'm curious to see if Gai's famous endurance training is as good as mine, so let's really push it. Besides... it's a two-day journey for normal shinobi. I think we four can make it in, what... eighteen hours?"

Tenten sighed, and muttered under her breath, "Not another one..."

(O)(O)(O)

"But I gotta pee!"

Normally, Tenten would have ignored Naruto's whining. She'd been on enough missions with him to know how childish he could be when he wanted something. This time, however, she chose not to deliberately. After all, each word he spoke about wanting to take a break now- still six hours out from Konoha, with all of them, even Jiraiya, breathing hard- was like music to the kunoichi's ears. Because once Jiraiya gave in... then the true humiliation of Naruto as Konoha's reigning prank-master would begin.

"Fine, whatever, brat!" the Sanin said, clearly frustrated. Tenten, though could see the anticipatory gleam in his own eyes. Whatever their relationship, friends, pupil and teacher, or any other, it was clear that Jiraiya was looking forward to a bit of fun at Naruto's expense. But then again, wasn't just about everyone?"

"Yosh! Naruto-kun! If I can not drain the hose for longer than you, I shall run at twice this speed, all the way to Konoha!"

"Uh, Lee," Naruto said, suddenly blushing, "I'd rather not compare something like that... how about we just race home? After I'm done, of course."

"Ah! Excellent thinking, Naruto-kun! I will take this side, then!"

Five seconds later found the spandex-clad Chunin deep in the forest, but close enough that Tenten could hear a relieved sigh.

On the other side of the trail they'd been following, Tenten listened carefully.
Silence, only the muted hiss of urine on a tree and braver forest animals filled the air.

"What the hell?! Tenten! What did you do to my clothes?!"

Her laughter- more a giggle, but she'd have to hurt anyone who said anything about it- suddenly sounded through the area. In a singsong voice, she called, "Oh, just a little lesson in fuuinjutsu, Naruto! I'll release it if you acknowledge me as Konoha's best prankster in front of all our friends!"

"Never!" was the immediate cry. A few seconds later, though, a softer, much more humble voice said, "Please, Tenten? I really gotta pee! Pleeeease? You can put it back on after!"

"Tell you what... I'll let it go once I'm back at my apartment. How's that? No, I'll be even nicer... two minutes after we walk through the gates of Konoha. A tough guy like you should be able to hold it in that long, right?"

Behind her, Jiraiya snorted. "Brat can't hold it for ten seconds the way he drinks water."

Tenten's grin widened.

"But I've been holding it for two hours! Come on!"

She shook her head, forgetting for a moment he wouldn't be able to see her, "Sorry! I forgot the seal! I have the notes in my apartment... I guess we'll have to wait! Unless you can admit I'm just better than you!"

"It's not happening! I'd sooner piss myself!"

She shrugged, "Suit yourself! See you in Konoha!"

She started walking, a moment later breaking into a run again, laughing all the while. It was good to be her... and she'd made sure to take a bathroom break before they'd set out. She'd be fine until she got home. Unlike that peeping pervert Naruto.

The last thing she heard before racing out of range of the three shinobi was Naruto's now-wheedling voice begging her to reconsider.

(O)(O)(O)

"Come on, Tenten! Pleeeeeaaase? It's been hours!"

Even Lee, who knew Naruto was a manly sort of man's-man (but one that liked the ladies), looked on in sympathy to the blonde's suffering. The lone kunoichi of the temporary cell, however, ignored him, much as she had done for the last several hours. In fact, she, having carefully maneuvered so that she was in the lead a while back, and been steadily decreasing her speed a tiny bit at a time. She estimated they'd tacked on at least another half hour to the walk home by doing so.

"Come on! The gates are right there! We're home! Release the seal, pleeeeaaasse? Pretty please with a dango stick on top? I'll... I'll buy you a weapon scroll! Two! Just let me peeeeee!"

A dozen or so yards distant, two Chunin snickered. They shared a glance of amusement, before the shorter, wild-haired and bandaged one muttered, "Looks like things are gonna get lively again with that kid back. Sounds like they already are."

His companion nodded, but didn't say anything.

A few minutes later, Jiraiya, the leader of the group, stopped just outside the gates. "All right, hold up. Now... I want you guys to report to the Hokage's office in one hour. On the dot. None of that Kakashi-taught lateness, Naruto, I don't care how much you have to pee. You'll be there, or you won't take the Chunin exam this time around, are we clear?"

The blonde, suddenly distracted from his growing agony, nodded fervently. "Of course, Ero-Sennin! I'll be there! Can I pee now?"

Jiraiya idly bonked him on the head for the name, then turned to Lee and Tenten. "I know I don't have to scold you guys about being on time with Gai's teachings, so I'll see you after you've had a chance to shower and maybe catch a quick bite. Knowing Tsuande-hime, this debrief could take a while. And... well, I have some, uh... catching up to do myself." He blushed a little, but Naruto, who was the only one who might have truly understood, was too distracted to notice.
After a minute or so of the Sage staring off toward the distant Onsen he favored, Jiraiya shook himself then turned to Tenten, "All right, let the seal go. He's suffered enough for now. Any longer might cause medical problems. Not to mention stink."

Tenten smirked, held her hands up in a simple ram hand-sign, and said calmly and clearly, "Kai!"

Naruto didn't even groan at how obvious the counter-seal had been. Instead, he just took off at a dead run, hands clutched at his groin, in the direction of the shabby apartment complex where he lived.

"All right, dismissed. Go on, and remember- one hour, Hokage office. Don't be late."
The two Chunin grinned, both eagerly looking forward to a shower in actual hot water and non-trail food before their debrief. In a flash, both were gone, leaving only Jiraiya to casually walk through the gate. He nodded toward Kotetsu and Izumo, calling with a wave, "Don't worry about the paperwork. I'm off to see Tsunade-hime right now, no matter what I told the brats. I gotta tell 'em the goo- the ba- well, the news."

Jiraiya grinned in an almost-lecherous-but-not-quite fashion before taking to the rooftops himself. A moment later he was gone.

Sharing another look, the Chunin who had not spoken earlier grinned, then said, "Yep. Trouble's back in town. Good times."

(O)(O)(O)

"-Make it clear to them, Hokage-sama, that we can't allow the ninja to push their-"

Much to the blonde kunoichi's relief and frustration, the door opened with a bang, interrupting the drone of the merchant who'd been expounding- for two hours- on the Merchant Association of Konoha's need to slow the growth of ex-shinobi-run business, 'in the interests of healthy competition between businesses'. For two... freaking... hours. She needed a break, but damn it, Tsunade hated it when people barged in!
"What the hell do you wa- Jiraiya?"

The tall man had stopped half-through the doorway and struck a confident pose. "Yes! The gallant Jiraiya has returned! Women tremble in anticipation, their husbands tremble in fear! All who see me shall-"

"Shut up, you old goat. Sorry, Habuke-san," Tsuande said, "We'll have to postpone this fascinating meeting. Sorry... this is rather important."
The merchant spluttered. "It's Habako, Hokage-sama, and what we've been discussing is important as-"

A moment later, the merchant was surprised to find himself outside the office, feet off the ground by a couple of inches, and Jiraiya whispering in his ear, "You really can't read people very well, can you? She doesn't want to hear it. Take your troubles elsewhere, little man."

A slight smell of urine filled the office, making the day secretary- Shizune- scowl. "Jiraiya-sama, I'm glad you're back, but please don't threaten the civilians."

The man was dropped suddenly. "Oh, he's a civilian? I thought he was a failed Genin. Sorry, Bukuha-san. Have a nice day!"

"It's Habako, Lord Jiraiya, but I really must insi-"

The door was shut in his face. A moment later, the merchant turned toward Shizune, thoroughly annoyed. The kunoichi, though, only smiled sweetly and said, "What can you do, right?"

Inside the office, Jiraiya's first words in actual conversation were, "Hey, princess. So we're back, he's stronger, no attacks by Akatsuki. Worldwide destablization, but nothing major yet. Oh, and I brought a tagalong home with me."

Tsunade, surprised, raised an eyebrow. "What? You found another stray?"

Jiraiya nodded, "You might say that."

After waiting patiently for ten seconds or so, Tsunade's brown eyes narrowed. "Well? Who is it?"
"Not who," was the reply, "but what. I bring... war."

She started, clearly shocked. Ten minutes later, Nara Shikaku, Morino Ibiki, and several other ranking ANBU officers were arrayed around the office.

The atmosphere was tense, very much so.
"All right, Jiraiya," Tsuande said slowly, "explain. How- why- did you bring war to Konoha?"

The Sage only grinned, "Well, I guess I didn't... they followed me. The instigators. It was Naruto and Tenten."

Gai, one of the Jonin present, raised an eyebrow. "My little flower helped instigate a war? I don't... I don't understand."

Jiraiya only grinned wider. "Yes... and, I'm proud to say, I'm doing my part to help both fronts... and start my own."

The tension mounted. Most of the Jonin were wondering if, somehow, the great Jiraiya, one of the Densetsu no Sannin, had finally cracked. Or worse, actually turned traitor.

"You see... Tenten and Naruto are involved in a bit of a dispute that they're solving with pranks... and now I am too. Gotcha!"

(O)(O)(O)

"Naruto! How've you been?!"

The blonde groaned internally. While he liked Konohamaru and his friends, and missed them all, he was a little... pressed for time. "Sorry, Konohamaru! Can't talk right now- gotta peeeeee!"

Moegi, standing next to the grandson of the Third Hokage, put her hands on her hips and scowled as their hero ran by. "That Naruto- he hasn't seen us for almost three years, and now he won't even talk to us? What a jerk!"

The snivelling young boy between them sniffed, "I think something's wrong. Naruto wouldn't just ditch us like that, would he?"

The taller of the trio frowned, "No, Boss wouldn't do something like that. Something's definitely wrong. Let's go help him!"

Ignoring the fact that three fresh Genin, without even their sensei, would likely not be able to help Naruto at all in any significant way, the three took off after the streak of blonde hair maneuvering with surprising grace through the growing afternoon shopping crowd.

(O)(O)(O)

"Ohayo, Naruto!"

That voice, in comparison, brought Naruto to a screeching halt. "S- Sakura-chan! Hi!"

But the rosette, ever on the lookout for her team mate's behavioral quirks, immediately grimaced and looked away, blushing. "Do you have to hold yourself in public like that? You aren't two any more, Naruto!"

The blonde looked down, flushing himself, "Yeah, about that... sorry, Sakura-chan! I just really gotta go! I'll see you later!"

By the time the medic had finished rolling her eyes, he was already past her, running straight for his apartment. Thoroughly annoyed at being brushed off so quickly after not seeing each other for more than two years, she took off after him, falling in quickly with the three kids she knew he was friendly with.

"Hey, Sakura!" the leader, she thought he was named Konohamaru, called, "Are you chasing the boss too? Did he brush you off?"

Sakura nodded grimly, easily keeping pace with the shorter ninja, if not with Naruto, who was continuing to gain distance on them. At least she knew where he was going. "That jerk! Two years, almost three! And he whines about having to pee when he sees me? He only stopped for a second!"

The trio of youths frowned as one. It was a rather eerie effect for Sakura, but she suddenly had a thought. Just the seed of an idea, really, but a way to get back at the blonde for brushing them off. "Hey, you guys... I have a plan. Hold on. We can get back at Naruto and have some fun at the same time. You guys in?"

Konohamaru, as she predicted, stopped at once. The devious grin on his face while the others, who'd sped past them for a few paces returned, reminded Sakura very much of the little boy he'd been when she, Naruto, and Sasuke had- in a way- saved them from the Sand Siblings years before.

But he was taller now, almost as tall as she was, and a ninja in his own right. He'd definitely be useful for this, since he was no longer the sad example of 'stealth' he'd once been.

"Okay, so here's the plan- let me know if you guys have any ideas to improve it."

Eagerly, the three Genin took the instructions and 'war plan' from their senior. A few minutes later, each of the four split up in a different direction to head home or, in Udon's case, to hit a clothing store for something. Each was quite excited about the plan, though Sakura's reason for that was quite a bit different than those of the younger three.

Still, it would be a prank for the ages, of that, Sakura was sure.

(O)(O)(O)

Naruto, out of breath and panting from more than just that, covered in sweat from the road and the strain of holding it all in, kicked through the door of his apartment. He was quite surprised to see it clean and mostly dust-free, it was certainly in better shape than it had been when he left. But he didn't have time to notice most of that. Instead, he charged around the corner toward his small bathroom, knocking the door open with his shoulder as he went.

At once, he started unzipping the jacket of his track suit, but then noticed... there was a problem.

There was no water in his toilet.

He checked the tank; it was bone-dry.

He jiggled the handle, wincing at the pain in his bladder.

Nothing.

He twisted the handle on his sink.

Nothing.

"Kuso! My water's off!" Not bothering to close the half-unzippped top of the track suit, Naruto dashed back out the door of the apartment, hurling himself over the balcony rail and down to street level- all twenty-two floors- in a single leap. The jarring impact made him cry out from the pain inflicted on his over-full self, but the speed had been necessary.

With a quick call of apology to "Baba-san", the old woman who kept the building (and its only other resident besides himself, last he checked) for barging into the equipment room, he immediately moved over to the valve he knew was directed to his apartment. The wrench he knew he'd need was, fortunately, nearby.

The squeal was horrific, but nothing Naruto hadn't expected. The satisfying rush of water moving up the pipes made the ninja sigh in relief, which was quickly overwhelmed by his need to relieve himself in a more physical way being amplified by said liquid noise, then retrace his steps back up to the apartment, running straight up the wall to avoid the backtracking exterior steps or very slow internal elevator. He didn't bother shutting the apartment door, his need was so great.

With a huge sigh, Naruto saw that the water in the tank was indeed already almost full, and the bowl rapidly getting there. He was safe!
The top half of the track suit was off in a flash, and it was down around his waist- he needed a shower too, after all- but then he ran into a new problem.

Around his waist, the track suit didn't seem to want to move. It took his skin with it when he tugged.

That... had never happened before. What was going on?

"Damn it!" he cried, then, with no more time to waste before he burst, ripped the offending clothing completely off. Fortunately, he dimly noted, the glue- or whatever it was- had only been applied around the belt-line. If it had been further south, in more sensitive- or hairy- areas...

But as the powerful stream began to fall into the bowl, Naruto sighed in relief.

"Finally... aaaaaah..."

The thunderous noise of water in the bowl was, perhaps, to blame for drowning out the noise of the kunoichi and three younger ninja at his open door who called his name.

He, though, was solely to blame for not shutting the bathroom door as well.

As a result, Sakura- the one who had entered first, checking around for him, was the first and only one to see Naruto, with one hand holding his... Wow. That's... Naruto's gonna make some girl really happy one day, and the other holding him more-or-less upright as he leaned over the bowl, sagging slightly in either exhaustion or relief.

"Eww! Naruto! Why the hell are you- shut the door!"

Wide-eyed, Naruto's head spun toward her. Then, perhaps instinctively, the rest of him followed.

In later months, after the 'shame' of it all wore off, Sakura would be very glad he had just finished, because she did not want him peeing on her. But then the fact that Naruto was giving her a full frontal view kicked in, and... "Naruto, you pervert! Don't point that thing at me!"

Before his stunned face showed anything other than shock, she'd pulled the door shut and run back into the living room where the younger ninja were waiting.

Moegi, who'd doubtless deduced exactly what happened, was already snickering, while the two boys looked on in confusion. "Why're you blushing, Sakura?" Konohamaru asked innocently.

Sakura shook her head. "No -nothing. Let's just... just get ready, before I chicken out."

Udon, more confused now than before, wondered aloud, "Why would you chicken out, Sakura-san?"

But she ignored him, and ordered, "Just get into position... as soon as he comes through the door, we have to be ready. Okay?"

They nodded and took up positions sprawled comfortably across Naruto's furniture.

She, though, moved back toward the bathroom, stopping several feet from the now-shut door. "Naruto! You're taking a shower, right?"

The silence only lasted a few seconds, but Naruto's frantic cry of "Don't come in! I'm just getting in!" made Sakura blush again. At least this time she was facing the wall, not those nosy brats...

"That's all right, we can wait! You have to meet for your debriefing, right?"

After he'd informed her that it was indeed the case, she continued, "All right- I'll make you something to eat. And then we have to have a talk- the four of us want to see how strong you've gotten. It'll only take a minute, okay?"

The water had started up while she spoke, but she could still clearly hear his agreement. "But I don't have any food!" he said a moment later, while she was distracted with thoughts of that chiseled (and how did the scrawny kid she remembered start looking like that so quickly?) form with hot, steamy water running down it...

"Me and Hinata have been keeping the place up- and it was disgusting when we started, by the way, so you're welcome. She bought some stuff a couple days ago when we realized you'd be back soon. I'll see what I can throw together."

(O)(O)(O)

"Okay, I'm dressed... are you gonna hit me when I walk out there, Sakura?"

She rolled her emerald eyes, "No... it was my fault. I walked in on your bathroom, remember? Sorry about that... come on in. Me and your 'crew' have a jutsu to show you."

Naruto was still towelling off his head, but dressed in olive cargo shorts and a white t-shirt when he walked into the living room. So Sakura could forgive him for the delay in his reaction.

"Okay, what's this- holy shit!"

Sprawled length-wise along the couch, facing him, was a stunningly gorgeous, voluptous, and curvy pink-haired woman who more closely resembled Anko- in both dress and figure- than Sakura. Curled into her stomach, with one of the pink woman's arms draped casually yet seductively over her hip, was another woman, slightly younger, with cherry-red lips, brown eyes, and wearing only a... well, nothing resembling so much as a string bikini, top and bottom.

And across the room, in the corner, were two more women- both naked. One was brunette, the other black-haired, and the black-haired beauty was braiding the long hair of the other while they occasionally caressed lightly, both staring at him as if to say, "come here, stud," with their eyes.

"Do you like this, Naruto?" the pink-haired woman- who was startlingly familiar, though he couldn't place her exactly- said, practically purring as she did so.

"I... who- what... I..."

The speaker grinned like a cat with cream when she saw the trickle of blood start from the blonde's nose. "This is our new combination jutsu, Naruto... I call it the "Anti-Pervert Deluxe Harem Orioke no Jutsu."

"S- Sakura-chan? That's... that's you?"

Before she could finish giggling enough to actually respond, he'd passed out in a dead faint.

"All right, Konohamaru Squad," Sakura called, jumping up and releasing the Genjutsu over herself, "the plan was a complete success!"

The girl she'd been holding close reverted to Moegi, the others to Udon and Konohamaru of course, with puffs of smoke.

"Just one more thing to do..." she muttered, withdrawing a black marker from her pocket. "Thanks for grabbing a water-soluable one, Udon. I can put this right on his clothes, and it should wash right out..."

A few minutes later, as the four were leaving, Sakura gave one last check to the apartment. His food was steaming on the table, she'd just left a bit of smelling salts under his nose- he'd wake up in plenty of time to eat and get to the Hokage's office- and the words scrawled on his forehead wouldn't be noticed until he arrived... probably. At least not by Naruto.

After all, who would think twice about a teenaged ninja with the words "Insert ramen here" on his cheek, with an arrow pointing to his mouth on one side, and on his forehead, "Space for rent."

Best yet, in her opinion, was the writing on his shirt, which she'd cast another Genjutsu to prevent Naruto from seeing it until at least after he reached the Hokage Tower. The words there read, with an arrow pointing straight down, "Essential Shinobi Gear. S-class. Proceed with caution."

With a final snigger, she pulled the door shut and turned to the others. "All right, you guys, let's get out of here. We don't want to be here when he wakes up, and Lady Tsunade wants to see me for something anyway."

"Okay. Hey, Sakura-" Konohamaru asked before she sped away, "What did that thing about 'essential shinobi gear' mean?"

The medic flinched, blushed, and with a pained smile said over her shoulder, "I'll... explain it when you're older. Later!"