I don't know how I got here.

Sadness.

Regret.

Sorrow.

Killing... people. People. I've killed people. Lots of people. And all for some stupid thing put in place to decrease crime. It's bullshit, really. Complete and utter bullshit. The crimes people commit on this day are more violent than crime that would happen on regular days. Crime that happens today takes more lives away than we need to take away. Crime that happens today took away my daughter... just like that. Like the snap of a finger. And then she was gone.

She was so sweet. So innocent. She was taking about a "billion" courses in University because she didn't know what she wanted to do with her life. She had a boyfriend - they were engaged. They were going to get married on October the fourth the year after The Purge she was murdered in. She used to tell me she was "going to not make the family ashamed like her brother," and that she'd "always remember what good The Purge did even though she's be living somewhere exquisite like Paris."

Then once she was driving home the day of The Purge when her car failed somehow and she was stranded in downtown. She tried to make it home. She really did. But around 4:00am she called me crying and told me everything. Then I heard a gun go off, then a scream and I found her dead body mutilated in an alley next to a restaurant the next day. It looked like something out of a Saw movie.

And then I didn't know what to do.

So I... started Purging.

It wasn't anything big at first. Theft, armed robberies, starting riots and just being involved in riots in general - nothing big. But as Purge's came and went - as my sanity became a thin stretch of rope ready to snap at any moment - I felt blood dripping down my hands and I felt alive for the first time in forever. Do you know what it like to feel a blade pressed against your skin? Do you know what it feels like to have the blood of an enemy seeping down your arms and then dancing on your tastebuds? Do you know the adrenaline that comes when you're constantly being hunted? Do you know what it feels like to kill? It feels like winning. Like the whole world is you and everyone it bowing to you. That's as well as I can describe it. I didn't want to turn out like this - I wanted to be a mother who could protect her child without killing - but I didn't do either of those things very well now did I?

Regardless I still do it for my daughter. I still fight and rob and murder for my daughter... for all those who have lost loved ones in this fucking stupid celebration. I can hear the stupid broadcast now: "This is not a test. This is your emergency broadcast system. At the sound of the siren all crime - including murder - will be legal for twelve hours. All emergency services will be suspended for twelve hours. Weapons of class four and lower are permitted. Government officials ranking ten have been granted with immunity to all Purging activates. We thank you for your participation in this annual Purge." And then The Purge begins. That stupid siren goes off and I run out into the street like a manic killing everyone I can get my filthy hands on. I do this every time. Without hesitation. What would happen if one day someone targeted me? I would die. That's what. Maybe that's more desirable than being whatever I am becoming, but I want to fight. I want to kill and feel that rush.

I want justice.

It's already 6:50, and The Purge begins in exactly ten minutes.

I can't wait.