A/N:I don't normally do this, but...
Guest Reviewer; (concerning when Uzushiogakure was destroyed) Yes, I'm aware- but Naruto is not, and there's a specific reason for that. Moreso, Jiraiya DOES know, as does most of the older generation that was alive for the 2nd war (really all of them). The fact that the younger gen(s) don't is both telling and important. I'm a fan of plots within plots, and so on. In short, it's a case of 'history is written by the...?', not a case of 'this is what really happened'. Only, it's not necessarily the 'victor'. Lol Good catch, though- I think you're only the 2nd that's caught onto that. ;)
Anyway, I know it's been a while. Sorry. Too much working, not enough time to write, and TROLL can't be my main story until I've finished OH (not that I've been working much on that, either). Slowly but surely, though, I'm still plugging away. Sooner or later, they will all be done. Now if I can just stop adding more projects...
Anyway, enjoy. More to come in the lower AN.
Chap. 9 Triumphant(?) Return(?)
Once again, for the second time in... how long had it been, anyway? "Doesn't matter," Naruto mused to himself, "Too long," the gates of Konoha were ahead, about a kilometer distant. Behind him, moving wearily just as he was, trudged Sakura, Kakashi, Gai, Lee, Neji, and Tenten... and Baki, the Jonin Sensei of the first Suna team he'd ever met, the one which contained the ninja who was now the Kazekage... at fifteen, no older than Naruto himself.
The blonde teen gave a wistful, happy smile. Gaara, his friend, was alive... that was what mattered. He would fight again, though it wasn't clear at this time if he would ever regain the use of his sand as a defense or weapon. He'd asked, but Kankuro and Temari- the only ones who had been willing to answer the question for him- had only had speculation.
Their father, after all, had been able to manipulate gold dust. His father, iron. Gaara, they knew, could control silicates... sand. More so, he could create sand out of other minerals, simply by grinding them up with his own sand. It took time, but was surprisingly quick.
At least, he could before. Now... no one really knew. Without the One-Tailed Bijū, Shukaku, inside him, it was anyone's guess. Would he carry on the same bloodline, one that neither Temari nor Kankuro, the former Kazekage's older children, seemed to have access to? Would it change, somehow, without the Sand Tanuki inside him?
"Whatcha thinkin' about, Naruto?"
The speaker was the one person on the team he didn't really want to talk to. That was surprising in itself, because in general, there was no one else with whom he'd rather exchange conversation. After all, he loved Haruno Sakura. Right? This time, though...
On the way to Suna, before even crossing the border, Sakura had asked several questions. Pointed, probing questions... questions Naruto had no answer for.
No, that's not right, he corrected himself, he had plenty of answers. Just not ones he wanted to give.
It wasn't a big secret, any more, though. He had, after all, been forced to tell them he held the Fox inside him.
But this... Sakura had been almost killed by Shukaku and Gaara, once. She, Sasuke, and he had been the only Genin to really see what the One-Tail was capable of, even through a living host. Sasuke, for his part, was now gone, rogue.
But Sakura... his Sakura...
It didn't seem like she hated him. But she was... different. More, now, than she had been once he'd told her and the others.
It was almost like...
"Naruto?"
This time, like before, his mind continued to race in circles, while a certain medi-ninja grew more confused, and more than a bit frustrated.
(O)(O)(O)
Sakura scowled to herself as she was ignored, yet again. She was trying, wasn't she? All she wanted was answers. She knew Naruto, trusted him. If she hadn't, would she have fought an S-Ranked ninja for his friend, even with the help of Chiyo-sama? But if he was going to blow her off...
Yes, of course it worried her. What if Naruto lost control, like Gaara had? But this was her- well, one of her best friends. If not him... then who? Who else could control the Nine-Tails, keep them all safe with every breath? No one, that's who.
Only... he'd been different, somehow, since they had met back up.
The others in their group seemed to sense it as well, but as Team Gai didn't know them as well, with the possible exception of Lee and Naruto's close friendship and rivalry, none of them seemed willing to talk to him about it.
Kakashi-sensei? Well... he was Kakashi. He didn't do anything unless he had to.
With every step the group took between Suna and Konoha, it seemed the gulf between Sakura and Naruto only got wider.
(O)(O)(O)
"Hey, Naruto," Tenten asked quietly, from her position at the back of the now-scattered group. They had been going for four days, taking their time getting back. The info they'd gotten from Sasori (thanks to Sakura and Lady Chiyo's valor) wouldn't be relevant for at least another week. There was no reason to rush, according to Gai and Kakashi-senseis.
Naruto, in a fit of melancholy unlike himself, had been lagging further and further behind as the group neared home. Security was loosened, until Gai and Kakashi were walking more than a hundred meters ahead of her, though her own sensei was audible, given his loud challenges to his 'eternally hip rival'. Neji, Lee, and Sakura were further ahead, talking quietly to themselves, with Baki-sensei from Suna a couple dozen yards behind them and ahead of Tenten and Naruto themselves.
"Hm?"
"Listen... I know I'm not the best one to say this, but... we're behind you. You know that, right?"
He nodded, distantly, but didn't lift his eyes from the well-worn dirt road.
"And..." she blushed slightly, the sappy, supportive girl was so not her style! "And, whatever you need, if it's someone to talk to, someone to spar against, someone to help beat the crap out of Sasuke, or whatever, we're all still there."
Naruto nodded once more, still saying nothing.
At least, until just after they'd passed through the gates, with the three Jonin moving toward the Hokage tower, their squad leaders having instructed them to get cleaned up and get some rest while they discussed what to do about the current situation in Suna and against Akatsuki... and the mysterious contact concerning Uchiha Sasuke.
"Tenten?"
"What is it, Naruto?" she asked, hoping that this was at least something. She'd even accept a 'ramen date' to get him out of this funk. Just as friends, of course, but... it was worth it. She hated seeing the happy, or at least cheerful, ray of sunshine down like this.
"Do you think... people can change?"
Tenten blinked. "Of course I do. People change all the time. I mean, even Sakura has boobs now, right?"
Naruto blushed, that was not exactly what he'd meant, but it was a nice enough thought. Further ahead, a certain medic-ninja's keen senses had caught just enough to be truly offended. "That bitch," she muttered to herself, "rub it in that I'm the slowest to develop in our age group... show her... cow-woman..."
All of this, of course, ignoring that Tenten, while she had the 'right curves' was not anywhere near Tsunade's league. Or Anko's, or even really Ino's and Hinata's.
But Sakura neither noticed nor cared about that particular incongruity.
"Uh, that's not, um... what I m-meant," Naruto stammered, trying to fight down his growing blush.
Tenten giggled, "I know, silly! I was just trying to lighten the mood, you've been so down lately. But yes, I do think people can change. Sometimes for the worst, but most times for the better. I mean, look at Lee- look at Neji. He's still a stick in the mud who wouldn't know a good time if it kicked him in the ass, but... it's genuine. He's not just acting that way because you beat him in the Chunin Exams, Naruto. He really does believe differently, and it's changed his whole outlook on life. So yes, people can change."
There was silence for a long time as they continued to walk down the main thoroughfare, until at last it was time to part, Lee, Neji, and Sakura already doing so to go to their own respective homes.
"Thanks, Ten-chan," Naruto said quietly as he turned with a small wave to head for a quick shower himself.
If the weapons-wielding kunoichi was bothered by the new nickname, it was nothing compared to how pleased she was to see a bit of spring in the blonde's step again.
(O)(O)(O)
"Tadaima," Naruto said quietly to his new, empty apartment.
To his intense shock, someone actually answered back. "Okaeri, Naruto," a cheerful young male voice mumbled, no doubt because of the chips currently stuffing the mouth used for the traditional 'welcome home' phrase in every nation that shared their language.
"Ch- Choji? Shikamaru? What are- I mean, why are you guys in my apartment?"
He wasn't terribly alarmed. They were friends, and would not steal from him. Instead, Choji and Shikamaru were staring at him, now ignoring his old-fashioned, barely-functional television (which he had, years ago, scavenged from someone's wastebasket). "It was tons of work, but we were given a D-Rank to move what we could salvage from your apartment here. So Ino went shopping to replace what we couldn't, while we set things up that we could. Of course, Ino caught up- late, as usual- and told us you were due home today, so we thought we'd stick around and say hi. So, hi."
Choji, mouth full, instead just waved. After a swallow, called out, "Say hi to Naruto, Ino!"
Naruto nodded slowly. He wasn't particularly close with any member of the Ino-Shika-Cho trio, Gen Three, but he had hung out with all of them more than once, and counted the males on the team, Shikamaru and Choji, as two of his better friends. After all, they and Kiba had been the ones to ditch class with him and go play most often. It showed in their grades, though not to the extent his had, too.
"Thanks, guys," he mumbled, embarrassed that someone would go out of their way not just to welcome him back, but to help him settle into his new apartment, too. "You didn't have to, you know. Between me and my clone army..."
Ino's high-pitched and high-powered voice echoed from the kitchen, "Yes we did! Shikamaru might be too lazy, and Choji too nice to say it, but your apartment was a sty, Naruto! I can't believe people live like this! Even you would have been disgusted by this stuff!"
At once, Naruto called out, "You'd know what a sty looks like, wouldn't you, Ino-pig?"
The intensely furious blonde that filled the doorway into his small kitchen a half-moment later reminded Naruto of just why no one but Sakura could get away with calling Ino that.
The fact that she was filthy, her hair dishevelled, and wearing rubber cleaning gloves, with a bottle of cleaner and a dirty towel in each hand made him feel even worse.
She really had been cleaning, and after the prank he'd pulled!
"S- Sorry, Ino," he stammered, "I've just... I had a really, um... hard mission. I've been a bit, er, stressed out. S- Sorry. And, uh, th- thanks."
Apparently, that was exactly the right thing to say, because Ino, her hair (he was glad to see) back to it's normal golden blonde, took several deep breaths to calm down before smiling sweetly, "Anytime, Naruto. Wait, scratch that- I'm never cleaning your apartment again! Not even for a C-Rank, much less a D! Maybe if I had some help from my team, as a C-Rank! But these two lazy guys haven't done anything but clean up this one room! I had to straighten your bedroom up, I had to wipe down everything in the bathroom, and the kitchen too!"
Naruto shuddered. The bathroom in his old place was bad enough, but he'd had it ingrained in him by the Third Hokage that he had to keep that clean, or he'd probably get himself killed by gaining several dozen infections or something.
But his kitchen...
Especially his fridge? That was the stuff of nightmares.
Seriously.
There were things growing in there, things that moved.
"I... I, uh... hope you had your kunai? I... I tried a fire jutsu on some of the stuff in my fridge once, and, and I think that blue-green plant-mold-thing ate it. It got bigger, suddenly, anyway..." Naruto trailed off.
Why?
Because Ino had suddenly grown very, very pale. Paler than usual.
"Your... your fridge? Why... why no, I hadn't... hadn't even looked inside... Is... is it really that bad?"
Still tired from the mission to rescue Gaara (success, no matter how bad the mission was, and the aftermath, too!), Naruto dropped his pack next to the door and slid past the motionless teen girl, followed now by Choji and an apathetic (when wasn't he?) Shikamaru.
Naruto's hands trembled as he reached for the fridge handle.
He yanked...
The door twitched, but didn't open.
That was never a good sign.
If that thing had another week to mutate...
"Crap," Naruto muttered, "You guys might want to back up."
Choji obligingly removed his head from over Naruto's shoulder to stand in the far corner, next to his tiny table, while Shikamaru just shrugged and stayed put, already several feet away. Taking those extra few steps would have been troublesome, because he could see from here.
Naruto slowly reached, hands still trembling nervously, for a large metal spoon and stuck the handle into the seal of the fridge, putting enough force into it to bend the spoon slightly as the suction broke.
Then, leaving the spoon still adhered to the rubber seal, Naruto returned to the handle, and gave it a mighty pull.
With a loud squelch, the door opened, and something purple and green wafted out into the kitchen.
Ino, eyes wide in fear, took one look at the gaseous stuff from the doorway, and bolted from the apartment without a word. A few seconds later, in the distance, they heard a screech of horror and disgust fade away.
Choji shuddered, looked positively green. Almost as green as his jacket.
Shikamaru actually grimaced. And we all know how troublesome he found facial expressions to be.
It takes effort to move muscles, after all.
Naruto?
He just looked.
What had once been vaguely recognizable as food (more than five years ago now, if he remembered right) had grown a thin layer of mold atop it.
That mold, given his penchant for not cleaning up after himself (especially the more gross things) had continued to expand, until it filled the entirety of the plastic container. From there, spores began filling the fridge.
The original foodstuff long since consumed, the fungus had eaten, well, everything else.
Of course, by this point, Naruto had long, long since stopped using the fridge. Cleaning it would be scary, and hard work, and he didn't want to get sick, so he just left it, and purchased everything he needed fresh. You know, like normal people. Even if it was more expensive.
With the regular supply of foods gone, however, the fungus had been forced to adapt.
And adapt it did. There were a few things left. Plastic, metal, rubber (a thin coating that mostly covered the metal of the shelves, but also included the seal), and itself.
Of those, only itself was really edible.
Now, a biologist, botanist, or some other scientist might argue that a thing cannot consume itself and continue to grow. Even a multicellular organism, like most molds. Those people? Well, smart or educated they might be, but those people have not seen the 'unique environment' that exist(ed) inside Naruto's fridge.
True, there was only so much it could do. Energy is always lost, after all, just keeping a life-form well, alive. But it had indeed become very skilled at digesting and recycling it's own out-of-date parts.
The fire jutsu he'd tried? That had, in effect, simply given the fungus a burst of raw heat energy. It had also caused more damage than he'd suspected, which also gave the surviving fungus more fuel, and the ability to adapt more quickly.
So what Naruto saw when he opened the fridge was simple. In a manner of speaking.
There was fungus, mold, everywhere.
It didn't fill the entire volume, there just wasn't that much mass there to consume to feed itself. But the shelves were almost gone, and completely unrecognizable. Every surface was covered, three or four inches thick, in purple and green.
The gas? It was probably released spores, jostled loose by the change in air pressure brought about by the cold air escaping into the room.
But the strangest thing was not the volume or even the color of mold.
It was the eyes.
Thousands upon thousands of them.
They were barely there, more sluglike than anything, on the ends of myriad stalks, but they each turned, as one, to Naruto as he continued to stare.
There was a loud bang as Naruto slammed the door shut.
Shikamaru and Choji, both transfixed by the... the... thing, jumped at the sound.
"N- Naruto?" the Akamichi asked.
"Yeah, Choji?" the blonde replied, voice tremulous and far too quiet.
"I think you might have just scared me thin. I've never seen food that wanted to eat me before."
"Oh. Cool. You're welcome, Choji. Let me know how that works out for you."
If either boy thought Naruto's deadpan, wooden delivery was strange, nothing was said about it.
They were both pretty freaked out as well, after all.
"Hey, Shikamaru?" Naruto asked a few seconds later.
"Hm?"
"You, uh... you got a good-sized sealing scroll on you? I'll replace it, I just don't have one ready."
"Tch. Fine," he muttered, surprisingly sounding a lot like himself, shock or not, before pulling out the largest scroll in his vest and tossing it to Naruto, "That should hold the whole thing."
"Cool," Naruto replied, catching the roll of high-quality paper without bothering to look at it. Distracted or not, he was still a ninja, and Shikamaru hadn't exactly thrown it with intent to harm.
A few seconds later, the entire fridge- mold-creature and all- disappeared into the scroll. As Naruto stood up, he started to regain some color. "Do you think the scientists at the Konoha Research Lab would be interested in this? If it was donated anonymously, of course? No one needs to know I created a new life form, right? Heh heh heh..."
Choji just shuddered, and committed the ultimate sin for his family.
He threw up perfectly good food.
Naruto spent the rest of the night cleaning up his kitchen again.
Somehow, he didn't think it was right making Choji do it. The whole thing had been because of his laziness, after all.
Despite his work to drive the entire incident from his mind, however, Naruto still had several nightmares that night. Not because of Gaara, or Akatsuki, or anything of the sort.
No... it was because, as the fridge had slammed closed, he could have sworn he heard that- that thing breathe out, "Daddy!"
(O)(O)(O)
The next morning, Naruto stretched, bleary-eyed, and rose from his bed to a surprising sight. It took him a moment to remember. Despite all his pranks (and peeking), Ino had cleaned his new apartment. That was nice of her... now he almost felt bad!
Still, he would have to go forward, so maybe he could forgive her (at least her) the last prank they'd pulled, and stop doing them to her. He was just a benevolent guy like that.
Naruto speek gudder, too.
No, really, he knew what 'benevolent' meant. He'd been described that way, once, and had to look it up.
"Who was that, anyway?" he tried to remember while leafing through several outfits. He could just wear his usual tracksuit, but there was always a mandatory day of downtime after any mission where you left the Village, so today would be a day off, though he would be expected to check in at the mission office. Had it been Kouyuki Kazehana, aka Princess Gale? No... maybe that little kid with the menagerie? No... Well, someone had.
Someone he knew.
Maybe the fat princess?
"Doesn't matter," he muttered, finally grabbing a plain white t-shirt and black shorts, and throwing them onto his bathroom counter from the closet before following in to take a shower.
Twenty-two minutes later, just as he entered the commercial districts, he felt a strange breeze, but thought nothing of it.
It was a windy day, after all.
He didn't notice the people starting to snicker.
It wasn't, in fact, until he left Ichiraku Ramen (for his eleven-am-breakfast) that someone told him about it.
"What?" he asked, confused by Ayame's giggles- and why was she blushing?- and Teuchi's snickers. "Do I have something on my face? Did someone put a kick-me note on my back or something?"
That just made them both laugh harder.
So, scowling, Naruto ripped off his shirt and looked at the back.
There was no note.
At least, not a paper one.
Instead, someone had- somehow- written on his shirt without him noticing.
Some ninja he was.
But the writing was worse.
"The Butt of Every Joke".
Not that bad, but...
That explained the breeze.
And the splinters in uncomfortable places from the wooden stools at the small ramen shop.
"There's no back on my shorts, is there?"
While Naruto's hands went to cover his (yes, bare) bottom, his favorite sources of food only began to laugh louder.
"Ino... she's so going to pay. I don't care if people check out my butt, but she ruined my shorts!"
The laughter increased yet again.
(O)(O)(O)
"Denied," The Godaime Hokage said sternly, "I won't waste my time with a cosmetic procedure. Besides, there is always the chance you'll be needed for a kunoichi-specific mission, one where your body type is most desirable. So absolutely not."
A certain lavender-eyed heiress sniffed in growing despair, "But Hokage-same, Naruto- Naruto-kun... he doesn't..."
"What did he do now?" Tsunade growled. Still, she was an old hand at this, changing the subject wouldn't change her mind. Though it might give her something to do later.
"N- Naruto-kun, he... Tenten-san told me, shortly after he returned from Uzu, that he had... that he had peeped on her, and f-f-felt- felt her- f-f-"
Whatever it was Hinata was trying to say made Tsunade's cheeks pink slightly, though her visage darkened considerably. "So you think just because Naruto peeped on a conveniently naked girl and grabbed her boobs, you think you have to change to fit that image? I've got a newsflash for you, Hinata. This might come as a shock, so sit down."
Reluctantly, lips trembling, Hinata did so. Being turned down for her requested breast reduction was bad enough, and she knew she wouldn't change Lady Tsunade's mind, but this...
No doubt, the Hokage herself was going to tell Hinata she wasn't good enough for her favorite- their favorite- Genin.
"Naruto," Tsunade began, her voice more controlled now but still firm, "is a boy. That's a state the males of our species sadly enter around eleven or thirteen."
"Wh- When does it end?" Hinata had the strength- somehow- to blurt out.
Tsunade, though, didn't react poorly to being interrupted. Instead, she only humphed, "Death.
"Unfortunately," she continued over Hinata's growing horror, "that state means that he is interested in one thing over all others. That would be the female of the species. Now, as one large-chested woman to another, I can promise you that all men will stare. At least, if you're lucky, those not related to you. They will stare at any bared skin, any bared breast, any ass, or whatever.
"It is part of their makeup, who they are as human males. And in some, it's even worse, and they act on it. All the time. Take my old teammate, Jiraiya."
Hinata looked up from her fidgeting hand, "Naruto-kun's Sensei?"
Tsunade nodded, "Yes. He's a pervert of the highest order. He's so obsessed with women that I've caught him peeping on me alone no fewer than eight hundred and sixty five times."
Hinata gasped.
"Unfortunately, if I had hit him even once for every one of those times, I'd have killed him long ago, Sage Mode or not. Sometimes, and I hate that I'm saying this, you just have to let it go. So your crush peeped on another girl who- according to his side of the story, at least- was already naked when he got there. It wouldn't be the first time, also according to his file on the mission report. In fact, I think he's seen you naked, on the first mission I sent you on with him. You remember, I'm sure?"
Hinata nodded slowly, her face reddening drastically all the while, "T-the-the B-Bi-B-Biko-"
"Yes," Tsunade took some mercy, "The Bikochu Beetle hunt. According to his report, he saw an angel dancing under the waterfalls on the night you spent in the dell. You were also, according to Shino's report, missing from the tent for several hours that night. Also, Naruto was missing for at least an hour when he'd only muttered about going to the bathroom while Kiba was on watch, according to both Shino and Kiba's reports. Now, you tell me... why would a graceful, short-haired angel be dancing under a waterfall in the middle of the night?
"Why, furthermore, would a Genin who, according to her father and cousin that had no significant talent, suddenly begin to progress in their clan's style in leaps and bounds, such that mid-combat on that same mission, at the tender age of thirteen, she suddenly developed a brand new technique of her own design? I can add one and one, and yes, Naruto's seen you naked. He obviously didn't recognize you, given the rumors I've heard about him turning you down when you finally confessed, but that's not the point.
"The point is... he's a guy. Guys looks. They don't always mean it to be disrespectful, because there are some guys out there- like Naruto- who are honestly just more noble than they are perverted. But given the reports I have from Jiraiya, Tenten, Neji, Gai, Lee, and Naruto himself of the incident in Uzu, I have to surmise that Naruto's report- backed up by the others- was the most accurate between he and Tenten. So you may think, if you want, that he felt her up and peeped. But I know Naruto, and I think you do, too. Would the Naruto you say you care so much about peep like that on purpose? No. So he must have walked into her by accident, as he claimed. And feeling her up? Well, I think I can safely say that was the pranks they were doing as payback ratcheting up. So drop it, Hinata. You aren't getting a breast reduction. It has nothing to do with Naruto not liking you the same way back. Maybe that will change, maybe it won't, but if I know one thing about Naruto, it's that he doesn't care that much for physical appearance. Even if most of it's because he's a guy and all straight guys like all straight girls' bodies... to one extent or another."
Slowly, Hinata nodded.
She wasn't sure how, but she had proudly remained conscious despite hearing that Naruto had seen her naked, had seen her dancing naked (really practicing her kata), even if only by star- and moon-light.
Maybe it was the crushing despair.
But...
But Tsunade was right. Naruto would be unhappy if Hinata gave up. Would be unhappy if she wallowed in misery.
So she would be strong, for him, even if he never acknowledged her own strength or returned her feelings.
It was her nindo, after all, to never give up, to never back down, to never quit, to never break a promise.
Just like his.
So she was strong, just once more, that day. "Ano, one- one other thing, Hokage-s-sama... about N-Naruto. I don't mean any d-disrespect, b-but he h-h-has p-p-p-peeped... on me, on Tenten-san, Sakura-san, and Ino-san... at, um the O-O-Onsen... I s-s-aw him..."
The desk cracked under the weight of Tsunade's fists.
"You did, did you?"
Now, much has been made about the Hyūga families' prized dojutsu, the Byakugan, and it's ability to aid in the detection of lies.
Tsunade had no such thing, but she was not Hokage for nothing, nor just her own combat skills. She, like almost all ninja who survived to her ripe old age of twenty-six (or fifty something, not that anyone was counting), could detect a lie via body language. And she was more 'pro' than most at it, thanks to Orochimaru and Jiraiya.
Hinata? She was not lying.
"Oh, he did, did he? So that really wasn't Jiraiya? It was dear Naruto-kun, huh?"
"A- Ano... I- a-a-already b-beat h-him up for i-it..."
"Good, good," Tsunade continued to speak, her eyes focused somewhere far beyond Hinata's shoulder, "Dismissed, Hinata. I'll be sure to speak to Naruto soon... to make sure the lesson sunk in. Have a nice day!"
(O)(O)(O)
Naruto rubbed the bruise on his jaw gently, still wincing due to the tenderness. "Owie..."
"I am sorry, Naruto-kun," Lee said, "But if you truly did such an unyouthful act as peep on the lovely Sakura-san, Tenten-san, Ino-san, and Hinata-sama, then you are right to be punished. Even if Hokage-sama may have gone a bit unyouthfully overboard, no doubt it was in her desire to protect their innocent flowers!"
Naruto winced. It was bad enough that he had to be escorted home from meeting with Tsunade- for 'security reasons' (He had heard Tsunade grumble under her breath about making sure he didn't go peep again as they'd left), but having that person be Lee? After having his 'crimes' made known to everyone who had come to report about the Gaara mission, so now Sakura and Tenten (and no doubt Ino, too, soon enough) knew he'd peeped on them all, on top of Hinata? This day couldn't get any worse...
At least he had a new mission.
He would be leaving tomorrow, so he might be able to escape their wrath. Maybe.
Now if only he could figure out how they'd rigged it so the bottoms of his pants kept disappearing as soon as he left his street...
Tsunade, Jiraiya, and Kakashi's laughter had been the worst!
A/N2: Glancing through my reviews (mostly to refresh my memory as to what the unsigned guest in the above AN was referring to), I noticed there's a lot of people who don't like the pranks, or thing it's juvenile. To those people, I say this: "Humor" is listed as one of two primary genres. Has been since I set the story up. And it will continue to be that way. I understand that purile (read: Potty) humor isn't for everyone. Most of the time, it's not for me (I prefer puns, myself, especially bad ones). But this whole story was conceived as a way to increase my ability to inject humor into a story, while also covering my vague goal of writing a one-on-one (as in not harem or three-way ship) ship with every major girl in Naruto fanon/canon (excluding, for example, Karui, Samui, Naruko, etc, but including more popular girls like Shion) in at least one fic. This is the NaruTen one. Yes, that means I have (tentative, pending actual plot ideas) plans to write a strict NaruSaku, a NaruIno, a NaruHina, a NaruShion, etc. Eventually I may even actually do so.
But the fact remains, this is a romance/humor fic. Believable romance takes time, but setting up humor does not. Therefore, there will (for a few chapters yet) be much more humor/pranks than romance- but it is coming. There will even be some romance between people besides NaruTen. Yes, that implies that Naruto and/or Tenten will date others besides the other half of that pair, but I haven't decided if that will actually be the case or not.
So, I'm sorry if the pranks or humor bother you, but it's been planned from the beginning and I'm not changing it. While I appreciate- and would continue to do so- the chance to 'be given a chance' (because I think by the end more people will be happy with the story than bothered by it overall) is enough for me. I won't be bothered too much if you just stop reading. It's your life, and if you don't enjoy it, don't waste your time reading this fic.
That being said, however, I do think if you give it a chance, you will enjoy it. At least if you've read it far enough to get to this A/N.
And for those that do like the humor a lot (there's a lot of those reviews, too): Thanks. It's for you I post. ;)
Till next time, kiddies!