Sometimes Maia helped the people in the neighborhood fill out legal forms. She couldn't give them legal advice, but she could read the forms and ask the questions and fill them out properly. Occasionally she'd get paid a few dollars or someone would give her something in exchange. The Umbatu's cleaned her apartment; Penny baked her casseroles; Marla gave her a telephone card; but she never asked for payment. Her neighbors were as broke as she was. The neighborhood was teeming with people working two jobs and still getting evicted.

Phil showed up one afternoon with a man who had legal forms to fill out. Maia had just returned from a Narcotics Anonymous meeting and was feeling somewhat depressed. One of her favorite members, a circus clown, had just gone on a bender.

Phil lead the average sized man with a mole on his face, into the apartment and sat him down at the little dining table. Maia could tell the man was Italian from his looks and the St. Joseph medallion he wore on a chain.

Phil looked at Maia, "Can you help Joey fill these out?"

"Let me see." Maia took the papers and looked at them. They were forms from the family court. At the top was the case number and name,Maglione v. Maglione"You have a lawyer, why not ask him for help?"

"The lawyer told me to fill these out myself, but I don't really understand them." The man spoke with a heavy Jersey accent. He started pointing at the papers, "She wants child support. How much can she get from me?"

Maia knew that the lawyer had probably handed the documents to the client and told him to fill them out himself because the lawyer didn't want to be a party to fraud. Most clients tried to hide their assets. "I can't advise you about that since I'm not an attorney anymore. But you have to fill in the form truthfully. It's asking you for your bank and stock accounts and how much are in them."

Joey looked at Phil, "Do I have to put down my accounts in New York and the Caymans too?"

Phil shrugged his shoulders and looked at Maia.

Maia knew she couldn't advise the man, but she could read to him what the form said, "It says that you have to list all of your accounts."

"Yeah, but they won't know about the New York and Cayman accounts unless I put them down, right?"

Maia sneered at him with disgust, "I'll know." She looked from the man to Phil and back, "This is your child you know."

Joey gave Maia a cold stare then turned to confront Phil, "Hey, is she going to tell the court about my accounts?"

Phil shook his head as he glanced briefly at Maia with frustration, "Of course not."

"I think I'll take my forms and fill them out at home." Joey grabbed the documents from Maia and held them close to his chest. "Thanks anyway." He glared sharply at Maia as he sauntered out of the apartment.

Phil slammed a fist on the table, "Jesus Christ, he was going to pay you $75 to fill those out! Damn it Maia, if he wants to hide his money, that's up to him. You can't afford to have principals. You're living hand to mouth."

Maia laughed, "I'm doing okay. My clientele is building up."

He shook his head, "It would be so much easier if you would just play along."

"Oh come on. The guy wants to cheat his kid out of money. I can't be a party to that."

He was "Oh God, no…you can't do that! Hell, you defrauded half the town Jonesing for your next fix. Now you get on your high horse? Now you have a conscience?"

Maia balled her fist and clenched her jaw. "You're never going to let me live that down are you? Why do you even stay with me if you can't put the past behind us? I spent twelve years as a good, honest, moral attorney. I screwed it up in less than two years over a drug. I've worked hard to beat this. But everyone always pushes me back, rubs my nose in it."

Maia grabbed her coat and gloves, shook her head in disappointment and ran out the door. She just wanted to get her blood pressure down and the best way to do it was to walk it out. She took off down the street towards the University, walking at a fast clip. She walked and walked until she was tired. It was times like this that she felt the loneliness, like a cold wind blasting her face. Maia found a bench under a tree with no bird crap on it. She sat and watched the late afternoon sky turn a grayish pink. Thanksgiving was in two days and fall was feeling more like winter all the time.

I'm such a loser. I had it all--big loft, nice car, successful practice, friends, clients, vacation condo in Newport Beach. People cared about me and one by one I pushed them away. Maia looked up at the almost bare trees. Well, I never felt lonely when I was snorting. Man, I could use some snow. Just go on a sleigh ride with a half piece. I wouldn't have to feel like this. Maybe a quarter…how much do I have at home? $50…I've got $50…that would get me through – mmm -- hell, that would get me through half an hour. Go home Maia, stop this nonsense.

Maia made her way home, finding Phil watching television when she got back to the apartment. He had a studio, but he rarely went home. He spent most of his time at Maia's.

He looked up, his eyes searching to determine if it was safe to speak to her, "Hey."

She gave a brief, forgiving smile, "Hi."

"I ordered a pizza."

"Great."

He patted the sofa next to him. Maia hung up her coat and sat down next to him.

Phil ran his hand over his bald spot, "We okay?"

Maia nodded.

He put his hand on her knee, "Maia, about Thanksgiving, I really am sorry that you can't come with me. But my sister still has problems with what you did. And, since it is her house, I can't exactly tell her to stuff it."

"I didn't do it to her, I screwed her friend over."

"Yeah, well she's close to her friend."

"I paid him back the money I took out of the trust account…I paid everyone back. I went broke making it right and paying off all the judgments against me. I could have gone bankrupt and left everyone high and dry. But I didn't. I sold everything and paid everyone off."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Let's not rehash that. But still, she had egg on her face for recommending you."

"Like I said earlier, no one's going to let me forget, are they?" Maia shifted her weight away from Phil. I don't know why I keep trying; I'll always be the attorney with the snow problem. The screw up. I might as well enjoy it. I wonder if I can get my dealer to give me some on credit?

"Give it time." Phil said.

Maia rolled her eyes, "Right. You know, I've paid through the nose for what I did. I've tried to go straight, give up the snow, but it doesn't seem to have any effect on my reputation. No one seems to give me credit for it."

Phil looked at Maia with his eyebrows knitted and eyes narrowed in disgust, "Grow up Maia, you can't expect your past to be erased by a year of good behavior."

Yes, I do. I've given up my former life and given up my favorite pastime and I don't seem to get any brownie points for it. Just forget it Maia…Phil won't understand. "Yeah, I guess."

Dinner arrived. They ate in silence in front of the television. Around nine, Maia stood up and took their plates into the kitchen to rinse. She turned around and smiled, "I'm beat. I'm going to bed to do some reading."

"Okay, I'm going to go home tonight. I have to be up early to drive down to Atlantic City to serve a guy. I'll say goodnight, honey." He walked over and gave Maia a hug. "I'm sorry about Thanksgiving. Where are you going to spend it?"

"Oh, I was asked over by Marcy, but Thanksgiving is a big phone day…guys get bored after the games and a few beers. They start to call. I'll probably stay home and make some money."

He gave her a look of suspicion. "Go over to Marcy's."

Yeah, sure. She'd be surprised. There was no invitation. I just don't want to admit that no one bothered to invite me to Thanksgiving…and you don't care enough to stay home, knowing I might be alone. So just get out of here. "Maybe. Well, get some sleep and drive safely." She reached up a little and kissed him goodnight before walking him to the door and locking it when he left.

Great, he's gone…what a relief. Now, I wonder if there's any snow in any of my old suit pockets. Maia walked into her bedroom and opened the closet door. Most of her suits were packed away in a box at the bottom of the closet. She didn't have any use for them anymore. She ripped open the box and started a frantic search in each of the pockets, praying each time she found a piece of paper that it was folded and contained a hit of snow. Eureka! Oh, man. I'd recognize the feel of a folded square of snow anywhere. Maia pulled the paper out of the gray wool blazer and smiled to herself. She went over and sat on the side of her bed, opening the square slowly, relishing what she knew she'd find. The white powder was fine and clean. It was enough to get her high for tonight, but tomorrow she'd have to scrape up the money for a real hit. The white powder was fine and clean. It was enough to get her high for tonight, but tomorrow she'd have to scrape up the money for a real hit.