Chapter 4

I'll Have a Blue Christmas

Every time the client phone rang, Maia ran, hoping it was G. Man, but he didn't call. Maia ended up in bed the week before Christmas with a fever and fighting off the flu. It didn't help that she and Phil had started fighting. He thought she was acting weird lately, somewhat distant. She felt tired and didn't want to go anywhere.

"You just mope around, nap, and get weepy. I can't stand your mood swings anymore." He yelled in the middle of one of their heated battles.

"I feel like crap. I don't feel like going out anywhere. Jesus, it's not like I enjoy feeling like this."

"If you feel like crap, go to a doctor."

"Gee and where am I supposed to get money for this doctor?"

"You've been a lawyer too long. There's a free clinic at PPTH."

"Really?" Maia stopped screaming. "I didn't know that. Okay. If I still feel like crap after Christmas I'll go in and get checked."

Phil shook his head. "I don't know Maia. I don't think you're physically sick. I think you're depressed. I think you need a shrink."

"Gee, thanks Phil, but in case you forgot, I've got a fever."

They both calmed down and after some quiet time, she went over and sat down next to him. Around ten he stood up.

"I've got two subpoenas to serve tonight on some dodgers. I'll go on home after that."

Maia nodded, "Oh, you know that Joey? The guy with the forms? He left an envelope here with account papers in it for those accounts. They're on the table. "

"Ah, forget about it. Just mail them back. I don't have time to drive down to Atlantic City to give them back."

"Atlantic City?"

"Yeah he moved. Look, I'm sorry I went off on you that day. I know you're a good person. I know you've changed."

She smiled and patted him on the back.

He left and Maia had to admit to herself that she was glad. She took several short calls, got the guys off and went to bed. Around 4 am she woke and started throwing up again. She went to bed and didn't get up until Christmas Eve. Phil had come back over to spend Christmas Eve, but saw she was asleep so he made himself at home in front of the television. Wrapped in her robe and slippers, Maia made an appearance, slowly making her way out in the kitchen.

"I see you've decided to grace me with your presence." He said somewhat agitated.

She frowned. "Phil, I'm not really feeling well enough to get into it with you tonight. Are you staying over?"

He looked at her, his lips turned down, "I don't think so, I just stopped by to wish you a Merry Christmas. I don't want to catch what you have. I have a big week at work coming up. Dayton & Kerry just hired me to serve thirty subpoenas." He grabbed his keys, "You know, I think I'll be going now so that you can go back to bed. I'll call you tomorrow night from my sisters." He pecked her cheek, picked up his coat and left.

Realizing that Phil wasn't going to spend Christmas with her, Maia felt even worse. She looked in the corner and saw the undecorated tree with a small gift under it. Although she had managed to buy the tree, Maia hadn't felt well enough to decorate it. There wasn't enough money for gifts or a big meal, so it seemed only fitting to treat Christmas as just another day. She walked over, picked up the gift, To Maia, Love Phil. Opening the present, she snickered. It was a book, "Words of Wisdom for Times of Trouble." She shook her head. I wish he had just given me the $12.95.

It was 2 am when she woke up with cramps, the muscles in her groin clamping down against her nerves, sending excruciating pain through her body. She got up and tried to walk, but kept doubling over. She took some Motrin and sat down with a heating pad. The nausea took over and she started throwing up again. Maia tried to lay down, but the cramping got worse. Around 4 am she went into the bathroom and discovered that her panties were bloody. She cleaned up and put on a Kotex. Something was wrong, terribly wrong.

She went over to the phone and called Phil.

A sleepy voice answered, "Hello?"

"Phil." She said breathlessly.

In the background she heard someone, a woman asking who was on the phone in a whispery voice. She heard Phil shush her.

"Maia? Are you okay?"

She was confused. Who was that? "Phil, I've got cramps…I thought maybe you could…" Maia paused, the reality of what she had just heard sunk in. He had company, female company. "Oh, don't worry about it, I'm feeling better. The cramps are leaving. I'm sorry I called, go back to sleep."

Maia hung up and went to get her purse and keys. Putting on her jacket, she took off in a cab for the emergency room. Getting out of the back, Maia doubled over, continuing to make her way into the emergency room. It was full of people with cuts, sniffles and different maladies. She checked in and was told to take a seat in one of the orange plastic bucket seats facing the television, which was turned off.

Around 5:45 am she was taken back to emergency. A young, blonde, female doctor started a pelvic examination. The pain was worse than any period she had ever had. The bleeding was non-stop at this point. The doctor came up to her side, "You're having a miscarriage. Did you know you were pregnant?"

Maia was so stunned she just stared at the doctor. Her eyes started welling up. "I'm pregnant?"

Dr. Cameron shook her head slowly, "I'm afraid you were pregnant. You've lost the baby. Were you trying to get pregnant?"

Maia was staring off into space. She simply shook her head as her bottom lip started to tremble.

"We should probably do a D & C to move it along and make sure nothing is left behind to cause an infection. Then we'll send you home. Do you have someone who can come down and give you a ride home?"

"Yeah. I'll call my friend."

"There's a phone by the bed, just dial 9 to get out. Your friend should come around nine to pick you up. We'll do the D & C and then wait an hour to make sure you don't hemorrhage. One of the nurses will be back to prep you."

She left and all Maia could do was curl up on the bed and start to weep. This had to classify as the worst Christmas ever. The D & C was over in less than an hour. They placed her in a bed and after an hour gave her painkillers and indicated she could leave. It was only 8:15 am and Phil said he'd be there at 9:00 am, he had to do something first.

Maia sat out on the concrete bench waiting for Phil to pull up. It was cold and she was both groggy and in pain, but she waited. She watched as a man pulled up and parked in a handicap spot close to the hospital. He got out and pulled out a cane, hobbling across the crosswalk. As he passed her he looked in her eyes. He didn't smile and he didn't frown, he just regarded her as an object of curiosity. Maia thought he had the most beautiful blue eyes she had seen in a long time and that there was something familiar about him. She had seen him somewhere before.

Phil pulled up in his van and Maia got inside. She closed the door, but said nothing.

"Are you okay?"

She looked at him as if he was a lunatic. "No. I'm not okay."

"What did the doctor say was wrong?"

"Pregnancy…I was tired and sick because I was pregnant."

"Ah Fuck! You're pregnant? How? We always use your diaphragm or a condom. Christ, this couldn't come at a worst time."

Maia rested her head back on the seat, "Really? This isn't convenient for you?"

He was angry, "Yeah, really. You know things haven't been working between us. I…I was going to talk to you."

"Tell me that you're seeing someone else?"

Phil went quiet. He shook his head and clenched his jaw. "Maia, I'm sorry, but I just don't love you. I don't think I ever did. I'll help with the baby, but maybe you should have an abortion."

She looked out the window as they pulled up outside of her apartment. They sat for a few seconds in silence. Maia turned and looked Phil in the eye, "I had a miscarriage this morning. It seems as if I can't even get a pregnancy right. You don't have to worry about a thing. It's a clean slate between us Phil. I'm not pregnant anymore and you've found someone you love. Life goes on. Thanks for picking me up from the hospital. I won't keep you any longer."

He got out and came around to her side of the car. "Maia, let me help you inside."

She turned and calmly said, "It's okay. I don't need help."

He followed her up the steps and into the hall. She turned and in a firm voice repeated, "I don't need help."

He looked down at his feet, "I uh, I wanted to get some of my things if that's okay with you."

She drew in a sharp breath, finally realizing that he wasn't trying to be nice, he was just cutting his ties to her. Inside, Maia put her purse down and took off her jacket as Phil grabbed an empty plastic bag and started filling it with CDs and DVDs. Maia shook her head and went back to the bathroom, changed her Kotex and went to bed.

Fifteen minutes later he came into the bedroom and started rummaging through the drawers. Quietly, Phil approached the bed, grabbing the alarm clock and his pillow. Maia tried to sleep but couldn't with him making so much noise. The front door finally closed. She got up and went to get some water to take another pain pill. Looking out into the living room, she was shocked. It looked like she had been burglarized. The television was gone, but the cheap (back of the truck) DVD player she had bought was still there. All that was left of the stereo were a couple of wires. The coffee maker was gone along with most of the pots and pans. She hadn't realized how much of the stuff around the house had been Phil's. When her life had fallen apart she had to auction or sell most of her things. Maia could have sworn he gave the television to her for her birthday, but maybe not. She smiled; Phil always knew the value of a dollar. If he couldn't use the tv, she knew he'd sell it.

Maia slept for the next ten hours, courtesy of the Vicodin by her bedside. When she awoke, she looked at the ceiling and realized it was still Christmas. It was 7:00 pm on Christmas Night. Hunger knawed at her. She got up and took a shower, then went out to the refrigerator. It was only after staring at the bare counter, trying to figure out what was wrong with the picture, then she realized the microwave was gone.

Crap!

Maia grabbed a piece of French bread and went back to bed, remembering the Christmases before surrounded by friends, phone calls to family, gifts for everyone. She remembered the ski trips the day after and the checks she wrote to charities. She remembered what Christmas was like before she started snorting. Maia started praying.

"God, I'm hoping this is rock bottom because I don't think I can take anymore of your obligatory lessons."

House smiled at Wilson, "Damn, listen to him play."

Wilson nodded and smiled back, "I'm glad you like it."

House nodded.

"Thanks for my gift too. I haven't seen the last season yet. I hear the ending is different." Wilson was reading the back of the Final Season DVDs of the Sopranos. "Are you sure you don't want to go with me to drop off Cuddy's gift?"

House shook his head. "No, I want to stay and listen to my Son House cds. You skiddaddle. I'll see you tomorrow. What time are you going in to work?"

Wilson shrugged his shoulders, "It's always an easy week after Christmas, probably 9:00 am."

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow then."

House escorted Wilson to the door.

"Merry Christmas House."

"Happy Festivus Wilson."

They gave each other smiles and Wilson went on his way.

House closed the door and walked back inside, sat down and put his headphones on so that he could really hear Son House play. He finished out the CDs and went to bed. As he laid in his bed he wondered how Cali was. He hadn't talked to her since Thanksgiving.

House turned on the light and found her phone number. He picked up the receiver and called her.

December 25th 10:44 pm.

The phone rang, but no one picked up. He put the receiver down and thought to himself. Maybe he had dialed a wrong number. He hadn't even reached a recording. He dialed again.

Maia could hear the phone ring the first time, but couldn't wake herself enough to answer it before it stopped. When the phone rang again, she managed to grab it on the third ring.

Her voice was groggy and low, "Hello?"

He was waiting for her to say, "My name is Cali, what's yours?" When it didn't come he asked, "Cali, is that you?"

"Huh?"

"Cali! Is that you?" he yelled.

"Oh, uh. Yes. This is Cali, can I …"she faded.

House sat up in the bed. "Cali! are you okay?"

She heard his voice, "G man?"

He felt somewhat relieved at the sound of his name. "Yeah, are you okay?"

"Just groggy. I'm on Vicodin."

"How much Vicodin?" He figured she must have taken more than prescribed.

"I'm on my second pill. But, I'm kind of a lightweight when it comes to taking pain killers."

"Are you in pain?"

"Not when I'm on the Vicodin."

"Why are you on the Vicodin?"

"It's Christmas. It's the shittiest Christmas of my life."

He could hear a lot of pain in her voice, "Why Cali, why was your Christmas so bad?"

"I found out that I was in the family way."

House winced, "You're pregnant?"

"Well that's the beauty of it. I'm not pregnant." She paused, "I found out I was pregnant and I lost the baby all in the same day."

House was curious, "Did you want the baby?"

She paused and thought, "I don't know. I never got that far."

"What did your boyfriend…or father of the baby say?"

"That he didn't love me. He's found someone else and he took the microwave."

"The microwave?"

"Long story."

"So to recap what happened, you found out you were pregnant; you lost the baby; your boyfriend left you for someone else; it's Christmas; and, you're in so much pain that you had to take Vicodin."

She looked up to the ceiling, "Yeah, I don't think you left anything out…except the microwave…and the tv…and the stereo…and the pillow."

"He took the microwave, stereo, television?"

"They were his."

House started giggling. "I'm sorry, but this reminds me of a bad French farce."

She snickered, "Welcome to my life. After years and years of playing loose with birth control, I finally get pregnant and I don't even get to decide whether to keep it or not."

House chuckled to himself. Years and years, so she is older than her picture. House was worried about her. Considering what she went through, giving her a prescription for Vicodin might not have been a good idea. She didn't sound suicidal, but Christmas was a very emotional time for most people.

"Cali, do you want some company?"

"Ah G. I wish I could, but it's not a good idea. Besides, I'm so tired; I just want to sleep. Call me after the New Year, okay?"

He wanted to tell her that if she needed anything, she could call. But he didn't want to risk giving her information about him, especially if she was keen to keep it on a professional basis. "Okay Cali, I'll call you later."

There was a silence as he waited for her to say something.

"G man?"

"Yes?"

"It's pretty pathetic when the only person who cares about you is your sex-client, huh?" There was a long pause, "Good night and… Merry Christmas."

The phone went dead.

December 25th, ended 10:49 pm.

He was worried, sad and confused. Why do I care what happens to her? She's no one.

House shook his head, got up and took an Ambien and then crawled back in bed.