Starting Over

There was complete silence in the room once she'd finished telling him the bare bones of what had happened, there was an awful lot more that she could have told him, things she'd left out because they sounded so stupid, even to her, as if she'd been imagining them, even though she was certain she hadn't imagined any of it, but even so she left them out of her explanation.

"Molly…..…."

"Nah, don't say nothing, I don't wanna hear what I could have done or what I should have done or nothing, you wanted to know what'd happened so now you do, and I'm sorry that I lied to you and now you can sod off"

"Nope, can't do that and I wasn't going to say any of that"

"Yeah you were, but you do what you bleeding like, I'm tired, I'm going to bed"

She got off the bed and struggled out of her charity shop dress, dropped it on the floor in a heap, then crawled under the duvet in her underwear, turned her back on him and closed her eyes.

Now that she'd finished telling him how and why she'd ended up in Bath, and why she hadn't been using her own name he didn't actually know what to say to her. He'd been so focussed on the fact that she'd lied and he'd so much wanted to know why she'd done that, that he hadn't given a thought to what came next. Before he could think of anything to say, the wine she'd drunk caught up with her and she'd fallen asleep when her head hit the pillow and was now actually snoring slightly as he got up and turned off the fire, then removed his shoes and jacket and stretched out next to her, put his arm round her and closed his eyes.

Sometime during the night she woke up and prised open her hangover swollen and glued together eyes and realised that her feeling of being safe came from the fact that she was being held securely in his arms but that didn't stop the tears that started to roll from the corners of her eyes soaking the pillow. It wouldn't matter how many people she told or who they were, or even what happened next, it still felt like all the things, all the achievements she'd been so proud of, had gone, that the life she'd worked so hard for was fucked and that things would never, ever be the same again. As she started dropping off to sleep she couldn't for the life of her work out what he was still doing there, in her bed and still wearing all his clothes, so they obviously hadn't had sex, when the last thing she remembered telling him was to sod off.

-OG-

"You still here?"

Molly thought she could remember asking him that before, but couldn't quite remember when, as she dragged herself out of bed and went off to the bathroom to get washed and ready for work, the fact that it was the crack of dawn on Saturday and that she had the hangover from hell didn't mean that she didn't have to drag herself to the café and open up.

"Molly, we need to talk about what we're going to do about all this"

He wanted more than anything to put his arms round her but he wasn't quite sure what she'd do, how she'd react, he had spent a good part of the night cuddling her when she was fast asleep and wouldn't push him away, as well as trying to come up with some sort of plan for sorting it all out because he desperately wanted to make it all better, but so far he'd drawn a complete blank.

"I don't wanna do nothing about it, just leave me alone and it's not your bleeding problem anyway, is it?"

"Well, I'm going to help whether you like it or not, so that makes it my problem so you can stop being such a grumpy cow. I never meant for everything to go tits up like it did, or for you to bugger off so that I didn't know where you were, so, shall we have a look and see what we can do about all this or do you want to carry on hiding and carry on letting that little scrote win?" He knew she was listening to him even though she still had her back turned so that he couldn't see her face "Come on, I know I behaved like a complete knob, but I am on your side and we need to get this sorted"

She wanted to tell him that he hadn't been the one who'd behaved badly, that every time he blamed himself she felt worse, that she had lied to him over and over again, that she had deceived him even when she'd started having feelings for him and that she didn't blame him for being angry with her when he found out, because it had been her fault that they'd fallen out, but stubborn pride wouldn't let her.

"What did you think was going to happen?"

"I don't know, but I thought you'd still be there when I got back from Headley, I never thought you'd just piss off like that, and where the fuck are you going now?" He realised that she'd put her coat on, tied her hair into a pony tail and was winding a scarf round her neck.

"I'm going to work, where do you think I'm going?"

"It's Saturday, it's only just gone seven, and you haven't even had a cup of tea. I thought we could go somewhere, maybe get a coffee, or a tea"

"I work in a bleeding café, and we're open Saturdays, so I work Saturdays" She smirked at him "I'll get me breakfast at work. You can come with me if you want, Norm does a lovely fry-up and you can have a cup of coffee with that"

"Lovely"

She'd had her tongue firmly in her cheek when she'd invited him to the café for breakfast, it was actually the last thing she'd expected him to agree to, especially when he saw the place, she thought he would take one look and run away screaming but now that he was walking down the street with her, she was at a loss to know what to say to him. She was at even more of a loss to know how she was going to introduce him to Norm and the others who were bound to think that she'd just slept with him.

-OG-

He'd been sitting there for as long as he could, nursing one truly horrible cup of instant coffee which tasted even worse now it was almost stone cold and had watched and listened as Molly bantered with what was obviously the regular clientele; no-one would know from the way she looked and acted that she had a terrible hangover and was surviving on strong tea and Nurofen. As he watched it was easy for him to imagine her in a mess tent with a load of squaddies giving as good as she got with the endless piss-taking that went on, it was the very first time he'd thought about her as an ex-soldier and he wondered just how much she missed it.

The breakfast had been surprisingly good, he'd actually been starving, and it was a far better fry-up than standard army rations, but he didn't want to go now that he'd finished eating. He didn't want a fresh cup of the poison that was masquerading as coffee either, he just wasn't sure how much longer he could sit there and pretend to be drinking it. She'd introduced him simply as a friend and they had all looked him up and down as though every single one of them was her dad and he'd smiled to himself at the way people, well mostly men and including him if he was being honest, took one look at her and saw this tiny, fragile looking girl and wanted to protect her, to look after her. It was pretty ironic considering that she was not only more than capable of looking after herself but had won a medal for the sort of bravery that most of them, if not all, wouldn't even begin to be capable of, that is before one shitty little bastard had used his power to turn her whole life upside down and he'd still got no idea what to do about that.

The breakfast rush had finished when she flopped down on the bench opposite him with a slice of toast and a cup of tea and offered him another cup of coffee, smirking when he shuddered.

"Are you going to sit there on yer bum all day?"

"Possibly" he smiled at her "What time do you finish?"

"When Norm says, and that'll be when he decides there's not gonna be any more punters"

"Can't you ask him? We've got stuff we need to talk about, things to sort out"

Norm had been his usual kind self and told her to bugger off before he changed his mind so that half an hour later they were walking along the windswept and chilly seafront in complete silence, neither of them sure how to start a conversation. Charles was cold and frowsty, he had no coat and was still wearing the clothes he'd worn to the auction, clothes that he'd then slept in and he hadn't even washed his face properly so that he was pretty sure that he smelt as horrible as he felt. What he really wanted to do was go home and to take her with him, something he was pretty sure wasn't going to happen.

"God, I bloody stink" He pulled a face as she grinned at him "I'm rank and I need to go and have a shower and get some clean clothes, are you going to come with me?"

"Yeah, you're right, you're minging and no, I'm not coming with you"

"Listen, the first thing I think we need to do is to find out if there is any sort of warrant, whether anyone's actually looking for you"

"How you gonna do that? You ain't gonna tell no-one where I am, are you? Can't we just leave it alone?"

"No we can't, and of course I'm not going to tell anyone where you are, and I haven't got a bloody clue how we're going to find out what's happening, I'll talk to dad first and see what he suggests, then see who he knows that might be able to help"

"Charles?"

"What?"

"Thanks"

"Molly?"

"What?"

"You're welcome" He laughed "Now, how about you stop all this bollocks and come home with me, mum would love to see you"

"Nah I can't, it wouldn't feel right"

"Well, promise me you won't do a bloody bunk again before I get back"

"I promise" She suddenly felt lost and a bit miserable at the thought of going back to her horrible little room on her own "When do you think you'll be back?"

"Later, not long" He stopped walking and turned to face her, smiled and put his hands on her shoulders then tucked a stray curl behind her ear which promptly blew back across her face "I'll take you out for something to eat if you're good"

She grinned at him and then felt herself get swept up in a hug as he apologised again for smelling terrible, and said that he would love to kiss her but that he hadn't cleaned his teeth for what felt like a month and that anyway he could still taste the god-awful coffee that she'd tried to poison him with.

-OG-

"Good news first?"

"Yeah"

"Can't find you listed as AWOL anywhere so you can probably stop worrying about that" He took a deep breath and tried to pin a reassuring smile on his face "But whether or not there's a live warrant, Molly, we don't know, so the first thing we have to do is to get you a solicitor, dad has had a word with one of his friends from the golf club and he's volunteered, so if that's alright with you he'll talk to Army Legal Services"

"Oh shit"

It was one thing to be hiding away because she feared that she was in deep trouble, but it was quite another realising that she might have to face it, that she couldn't just pack up and run away again. There was also the small matter of paying for a solicitor when she'd got no money.

"Dad says he reckons that the worst you'll get is a fine, probably a bloody huge one, but you won't go to jail, he's pretty sure about that, and mum wants you to come home with me, she thinks you need some looking after"

"What have you been saying to her?"

"Nothing"

"This fine?" She chewed at her bottom lip as she looked at up him "How much does he think it'll be? And does he reckon they'll give me time to pay, like five bob a week or something?"

"Let's just go and get something to eat"

He shook his head and gave a small snort of laughter as he took her hand and started walking in the direction of the better end of the resort where the classier restaurants were located. Walking back towards Shore Road after they'd eaten he put his arm round her shoulders and asked her again to come home with him so that his mum could spoil her, and once again she turned him down. Why she was turning him down she didn't exactly know, except that it felt all wrong to allow them to make a huge fuss of her in the circumstances.

"I presume you're not going to invite me to come up for coffee" He smiled at her as he smoothed her windblown hair back from her face.

"I don't do coffee, a tea bag does me and if I robbed some of Matt's you'd think it was disgusting, but then you wouldn't be there long enough to drink it anyway"

"Right" He smiled wryly, getting her message and then leaned forward and kissed her gently on the cheek as if she was his maiden aunt, "I'm back to barracks tomorrow, so I'll call you and I'll make sure that the solicitor calls you if there's any news"

"Charles" she couldn't help the little giggle that escaped as he lifted his eyebrows in an unspoken question "You might gonna need to have me phone number then"

-OG-

He was as good as his word and called her every evening when he got back to barracks even though their conversations were slightly stilted, but it seemed like a very long week to Molly, she was scared shitless about the news the solicitor might have for her, no matter what Charles had said she was still half convinced that she was going to end up in jail, but was even more worried that there didn't seem to be any news at all. After months of hiding and doing all she could to avoid even thinking about the situation, now she was desperate for answers, suddenly she needed to know. The weekend stretched out a bit because Charles was Duty Officer which meant that he couldn't be around until Monday or Tuesday at the earliest and she was beating herself up for not going to Royal Crescent when he'd tried to persuade her, she was sick of being on her own and even more sick of feeling bleeding miserable. She was sick of feeling like a victim; it seemed like a lifetime ago when she'd last laughed.

-OG-

"I feel sick"

"No you don't, you'll be fine, you got a medal because you're brave, remember?"

"Stop taking the piss"

They were sitting in the waiting room of some very posh solicitors' chambers in Bath and Molly kept looking around her and trying to work out how much Mr. J's mate charged by the hour for his advice, a bloody shed-load was her guess judging by the state of the place, and in spite of what Charles said about her being brave, her stomach was churning with nausea at the thought of what this bloke was going to tell her.

"Right then, Miss Dawes, or may I call you Molly?" They'd gone through to his office, Molly on legs which felt as though they were stuffed with cotton wool and didn't quite belong to her.

She nodded as Mr J's friend, or Clive as he insisted that she call him, who was miles younger and better looking than she'd expected, she couldn't help thinking he looked a bit like Clark Kent, nodded at Charles then smiled at her and put his glasses back on to look at the paperwork in front of him. She tried hard to swallow with a totally dry mouth as Charles put his hand on her knee and squeezed, doing his best to give her as much support as he could without actually saying anything.

-OG-

Author's Notes Thank you for your reviews, I'm dead curious as to what scenarios people did come up with, although I probably shouldn't ask in case it makes me go "Oh, shit I wish I'd thought of that" Maybe someone will tell me once the story is finished.