Author's note
Once again, thank you all very much for your comments.
This chapter is a little longer than anticipated.
I like to remind you all again I have no knowledge about the military, whatever I didn't take of the internet I made up.
Enjoy!
P.s: I have never seen the movie Frozen, but my friend's son has watched it quiet often and she complained that he keeps on singing the songs.
Charlie's POV
A week later
"I don't want to go in there" Alex says for like the millionth time with tears running down his cheek.
"Please Alex. We need to take the car home." I have been trying to get Alex into the car for the better part of the last ten minutes, but he is refusing to get in. I think he is afraid. "There is no other way to get home." I suggested we'd take the bus or subway, but Alex refused those too.
"I will be driving Buddy…and I won't let anything happen to you…I promise!" Bass says and kneels in front of Alex's wheel chair.
"I am scarred Dad" Alex whispers loudly.
"I know buddy, but we have to take the car home. Your mom is going to sit next to you all the way home." Bass assures him and Alex just gives us a tiny nod.
We can finally take him home. The doctor said that in two weeks Alex will get his arm cast off and another four, before the cast on his leg can go. The bruises have faded and his ribs are almost healed.
We all pile into my car and Bass drives extra slow on the way home. For the entire ride Alex clutches my arm as if it is his life line.
"What do you want to watch?" Bass questions Alex as we get him situated on the couch in my living room.
"Frozen" Alex replies with a cheeky grin and I groan inwardly. He watched that movie at least three times on my tablet in the hospital and he can sing all the songs already.
"Frozen it is" Bass replies and puts the DVD in.
"Can you stay with me?" My son questions, looking pleadingly at his dad.
"Sure…just let me grab a blanket" Bass ruffles his hair and comes over to where I am leaning against the doorframe. "Is it okay if I stay here for a while?"
"Of course… I will get you that blanket" I say and quickly walk up the stairs. This past week has been intense and an emotional rollercoaster. Bass only left the hospital to shower at Miles's place, otherwise he stayed with Alex.
Being so close to him all the time is hard, because I still love him. He can make my heart skip a beat with the smallest things and can make my blood boil in under three seconds.
Suddenly my phone rings and I look at the caller ID and sigh. It is Jason again. He wants to talk, but I don't know if I want to. "Hi"
"Hey, how did the ride home go?" Jason questions.
"Alex refused to get into the car for ten minutes, but apart from that pretty good" I answer, take a blanket out of my closet and walk back downstairs. It's not like it is cold, but I have the AC on and if Alex will be lying all day on the couch, he shouldn't freeze.
"Can I come around later…I haven't seen you in ages" He questions.
"Jason…I don't know. I can't leave Alex alone tonight" I reply and turn the corner into the living room.
"Go out….I will stay with him" Bass tells me and takes the blanket from me.
"Who was that?" Jason asks and his voice instantly changes.
"It's Bass" I answer and walk out of the living room.
"What is Bass doing at your house?" He probes further.
"Spending time with his kid. He helped me bring Alex home" I answer and walk outside.
"Ah okay…I come and pick you up at 7 pm?"
"No…Jason…I want to stay home tonight. It is Alex's first day home." I remind him.
"Okay…how about Saturday? I will pick you up at seven and take you out to dinner" He questions again.
"Sounds good to me" I accept and ad "Have a good night".
"You too" He retorts and hangs up.
"Here" I look up and see Bass standing next to couch I am currently sitting on. As I moved out I only took the essentials and Miles helped me find some cheap stuff, including this couch. A Month ago I was finally able to afford a new couch, so I put the old one on the deck in the backyard.
Alex and I spend more than a few nights sitting out here looking at the stars and even if it is raining, like it does right now, we are still protected by the roof and can watch the world drown around us.
"Thank you" I say and take the beer he holds in his outstretched hand.
"May I join you?" He questions and I quickly make some space for him. "Thanks" He adds and shoots me a lazy smile.
For a while we sit next to each other in silence just starring out into the backyard. "What time is it?" I question and look at him.
"About 5 pm. Why?" He tells me and takes a sip from his beer.
"Gotta make dinner soon" I only inform him and we fall silent again. Unsure of what to say to one another.
"MOM?" I hear Alex shout from the living room and I jump up immediately, Bass hot on my heels.
"What is it?" I question worriedly as I come to kneel next to my son.
"I am hungry…what are we having for dinner?" He questions with a sleepy voice. Our son has been asleep for the past two hours, missing most of the movie.
"Spaghetti Meatballs" I reply and it earns me a big grin from Alex.
"Can Dad stay?" Alex asks carefully, as if he is afraid that I would deny him that request.
"Do you want to join us for Dinner?" I turn around and look at Bass, who is leaning lazily against the doorframe.
"I can't pass up the chance to have your awesome Spaghetti Meatballs" He replies with a small smile, making my insides melt. That smile, paired with those blue eyes, is dangerous and makes women, and some men, walk into walls.
"Mom…can Dad also stay with me tonight?" Alex probes further, his voice hopeful.
"Sure" I answer and get up. "I will get started on Dinner then" I inform the two of them and hurry out of the kitchen.
"If you don't want me to stay, just say so" A voice says behind me, making me turn around.
"I don't mind" I assure him and turn back to my task. I don't mind him staying here, but the prospect of spending a whole night under the same roof as Bass is making me nervous.
"Okay…" Bass questions and I can feel him coming closer; until he is standing so close that I can feel his breath on my shoulder. "Do you need any help?"
"No, I am good thanks" I tell him, without looking at him. He smells like soap and something uniquely Bass, and that makes it hard for me to concentrate. Once again my heart speeds up a little.
"Okay, just call out if you do need help" He tells me and leaves again. I take a few deep breaths to get my heart rate back under control.
I love and hate how he makes me feel. Bass always had this power over me, where he can make me feel a million different things at the same time, with just a smile or a touch. As I was 17 that was great, but now at 25 and a child to take care off, it just isn't enough.
Bass's POV
"Will you be okay on the couch? Otherwise I do have a blow up mattress somewhere" Charlie tells me, without looking at me, while fluffing the pillow.
Dinner was a quiet affair. Alex and I were talking the entire time and Charlie just sat there silently, watching us. Once in a while I caught her staring at me, but she would always avert her eyes.
"Charlie…It is fine" I assure her.
"I will….just…" She says, points up the stairs and just as she is about to walk out the door I catch her wrist and pull her closer. God I missed this!
"Stop stressing, the couch is fine" I say softly and her eyes meet mine. I run my thumb over the back of her hand back and forth and she takes a deep breath and closes her eyes for a moment.
I am unsure of how long we stood there like that, but too soon the moment is over and Charlie retracts her hand. "Good night"
"Good night Charlie" I smile and watch her retreating back.
"Man…you really were in bed with a woman who had a dick?" I laugh and have a hard time getting myself under control. We just arrived at our next side that needs to be swept and Rick told us how he picked up a transsexual.
"Yeah…man I have never been this scarred in my life" Rick replies, shaking his head in disbelieve. "And I have been in the Army for ten years now; I didn't think that shit like that would faze me much."
We all get out of our Humvee, instantly alert by how quiet everything is. Nutter motions for me and Max to go ahead and sweep as we go.
As we get to the last house, Max growls and everybody grows more alert. Rick and Tom take the back entrance, Nutter and I the front. On three we all enter the small house and what greets us shocks the hell out of me.
There is a young boy standing in the middle of the room with a gun. "وضع المسدس (Put the gun down)" Nutter tells the kid a few times, but the kid just stands there and keeps staring at us.
Suddenly he raises the gun and points it at Nutter's head and I am forced to shoot him.
The kid drops to the ground, onto his knees and stares at me in shock. His eyes are filled with hate and unanswered questions. He falls over onto his side and his dead eyes are still looking at me.
I can't breathe and I feel sick. I have been doing this job for two years now and I was never forced to shoot a kid, until now.
As I look at the child again, his face changes from an Arabic looking kid to Alex's face. My child is lying on the ground, with his dead eyes burning a hole into my head.
"ALEX" I shout and drop next to him on the ground "NO NO NO"
I jolt awake and take a deep breath. This isn't the first time I have had this dream. It's always the same, I shoot the kid and his face turns into my sons.
My breathing is ragged and I have a hard time getting it under control. But the concern for my son is bigger at the moment so I quickly throw of the blanket and run upstairs to make sure Alex is ok.
I quietly open his bedroom door and look at his sleeping form. He is fine…He is fine… Is on repeat in my head. After a few minutes my breathing returns to normal and my heart rate has gone down. I don't know what I would have done, had that been Alex, who was shot.
I know that I didn't have a choice but to shoot that kid. If I hadn't shot him he would have shot Nutter. After that time I had to shoot two more kids and they haunt me in my sleep more often than not.
"Here" Charlie says from behind me, making me jump around in surprise. She holds my gaze as she comes carefully closer with a t-shirt, which looks awfully like one of mine, in her hand. I am rooted to the spot and can't seem to move a muscle.
Charlie puts the T-shirt in between her knees and then pushes the sweaty shirt, which I am currently wearing, up. As she touches my chest in the process of taking my shirt off, my breath hitches and another part of my anatomy comes to life.
"How…" I clear my throat and start over. "How did you know?"
"I heard you come up the stairs. I figured that you must have had a bad dream. You used to do this a lot when you were home. Just stand there and watch him or me." My wife informs me and then takes the clean shirt and pulls it over my head.
"I didn't think you noticed" I mumble and put my arms through the sleeves.
"It's hard not to when you mumble in your sleep, wake up sweaty and then leave for hours at the time." Charlie tells me, steps away and throws the sweaty shirt into the hamper in the bathroom.
I close Alex's door and make my way downstairs, with Charlie following me. "Drink?" She questions, as we get to the kitchen and she doesn't await my answer before pouring us both one. "You need help Bass."
I sigh and sit down at the kitchen table. We have had this conversation before and it always ended the same way; with us screaming at each other. "I can't."
"Stop letting your male ego get in the way of what you need, Sebastian" Charlie retorts harshly, making me wince at her use of my full name. She only does it when she is really mad at me. Charlie drowns her drink and places the glass into the sink. "The fact is: You need help! Like I told you countless times before."
"I can handle it Charlie" I growl.
"No you can't, why do you not see that?" She hisses, mindful of our sleeping son a floor above us.
"Because it isn't true" I tell her and drown my drink too.
"Bass…" She sighs and her tone changes from angry to defeated. "Think of Alex. He needs you around. You will miss out on a lot more, than you already have."
"Why? Are you filing for sole custody?" I question angrily.
"I am already doing the job of two people…I am Mom and Dad, because you are gone all the time. Why don't you get it? You missed out on all the firsts…do you also want to miss everything else?" She cries out and tears start to pool in her eyes. I hate when she cries, even more when I am the cause of it.
"Don't you think I hate being gone all the time…? We weren't getting by so I had to take that job. It pays well enough so you and Alex can have a good life!" I tell her.
"I don't care about the fucking money Bass!" She shouts and turns around, to look out the window. "I get why you did it, but I figured you would quit after a while. I have a good job now… we don't need that money any more. I don't need a new car or fancy things, especially if it is costing you, your sanity and us! Not to mention that it is dangerous over there!" She adds quietly.
"Well I have lost you already, so I don't see what good it will do if I quit my job... Just to sit at home and watch you play family with your new boyfriend? No thank you" I jump out of my seat, to stand. I know I am being unfair, but if I don't have my job, I got nothing left. Charlie has moved on.
She is quiet for a long while, her knuckles have turned white because she is gripping the counter to tight and her shoulders are shaking. I know she is crying and I want nothing more than to hold her, but that isn't my place anymore.
"Then why haven't you signed the divorce papers yet?" Her voice comes out in nothing more than a whisper and she has yet to turn around.
"Charlie…" I sigh and don't know what to say. Why haven't I signed the papers? Why they are still buried in the bottom of my duffel bag? "I don't know." I reply honestly. I really have no answer for that question.
My wife finally turns around, her eyes are red and her cheeks puffy from crying, but she couldn't look more beautiful, in her Snoopy shorts and top. She walks over, stops by my side and interlaces our hands. "Just get help Bass, please." She begs and places a soft kiss onto my left cheek. And then she is gone.
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