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Chapter Five
She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Her mind went immediately through the denial stage. This couldn't be happening. It wasn't true. Why would he say something like that? To hurt her? Was this payback for helping the ministry put his dad into Azkaban? She couldn't figure it out. What he said just didn't make sense. It was impossible; people just don't turn into werewolves without being bitten? He's got his facts all screwed up. Didn't he know that werewolves are beings that come out at night during the full moon and wreak havoc on everyone? Forgetting who they are because they were bitten by yet another werewolf? Plus she was his MATE? Was he insane? Werewolves don't' have mates. She couldn't be his mate. They hated each other. They were trying to kill each other for two years. He helped torture her. He humiliated her. He called her mudblood so many times she had lost track. She punched him in third year. Now he was saying that they were mates and were destined to be together? Hermione couldn't comprehend it. She didn't even like Malfoy, this couldn't be true. She didn't believe him.
However there was another side of her that felt truth from his words. She couldn't deny was growing more and more drawn to him. How else could you explain everything that was happening to her? All the things affecting her body wasn't just going to go away. She had to consider that what he said might be true. But she didn't want to, she argued with herself. She didn't want any of it.
Hermione was pulled out of her thoughts when Malfoy finally spoke.
"Granger say something," Malfoy said pleading, "Look I know how this must sound to you-"
Hermione interrupted him, "No you have no idea how it sounds," She said angry, her emotions getting the best of her. She was freaking out inside and out and she wasn't going to hold anything back, "You're wrong Malfoy. Do you hear how insane you sound? I've never been anywhere near a werewolf besides Lupin and haven't been since. There is no way I could be one. Plus Werewolves don't have mates," She said folding her arms, "So unless you can clarify me on this made up theory that you have about me becoming a werewolf, I don't believe you."
Malfoy didn't look happy as he glowered at her.
Malfoy tried to answer without sounding infuriated but he couldn't, "Why would I make something like this up? I'm just as miserable as you are! You think I would do that to myself?" He gave a scoffing laugh at even the thought, "Granger I don't want to believe this anymore than you do."
Hermione still wanted proof as her eyes narrowed, "Then give me a good reason why I should trust you."
Malfoy sighed impatiently not really wanting to give a history lesson but it seemed like he was going to have to. His wolf was begging for him to move closer to her, but he had successfully kept him at bay for now.
"Ok listen closely Granger because I'm not going to repeat this again," He glowered, "I have werewolf blood in me. My whole family line on my mother's side has werewolf blood in them. Whether or not someone gets the gene depends on a lot of things. Long story short, me and my mother's blood just happened to have the lucky gene," He explained, "You see Granger I didn't get bitten either. I was born with it. There are all different kinds of breeds of werewolves. Don't you remember what we learned in third year? I'm able to control my wolf; I don't have to turn unless I want to. I've been able to keep it buried down deep successfully for almost eighteen years until I saw you at the train station," He said his voice changing.
Hermione stood still, soaking up every word listening intently. She waited for him to continue.
"Something happened that day," He tried to explain it the best he could, "My wolf it... it liked you," He said as Hermione's eyes were hanging on to his words, "I could feel it come to the surface like a volcano trying to erupt. I could feel it trying to take control over my limbs, wanting to drag me over to you so I could be close to you. Ever since then," He swallowed hard, "I knew then that it was over. I knew that you had to be..." He voiced tapered off not wanting to say the word mate again, "Anyway. I couldn't do anything to stop it. I could tell after that first day in class that you were transitioning," He ended his long explanation.
Hermione mulled over what he had just told, her mind running a million per second. She knew that there were different kinds of werewolves. How could she be so stupid to forget? She had read all about these kind of werewolves in third year. They weren't very common, but his explanation was perfect. The timing, the physical transformation, the werewolf blood line, the side effects, it all made sense. Of course! Why had she not thought of werewolves before? That explains all the physical weird things that had been happening to her. He was telling her the truth.
Then dread hit her. He was right. He was right about everything, even the part about her being his mate. He was also right about her transitioning into a werewolf, or at least having werewolf blood in her. She felt herself get angry. Why on earth did he have to pick her? There were plenty of other girls in Hogwarts that wanted him why didn't he pick one of them? They would have been happy to be his mate. Hermione felt her emotions rise to the surface again. Was this what it felt like to be turning into a werewolf?
Hermione found the strength to find her voice, "So that's why you left class that day? And why you left for two weeks?" She asked.
Malfoy simply nodded running his hands through his hair.
"Does this mean I'm going to have a wolf inside me too?" She asked terrified of the answer.
Malfoy eye brows grew together, "Of course not," He answered as if she was crazy, "You just have the blood of one because of me. You don't have the gene. Take my mom and dad for example. My mom can transform into a wolf, but my dad can't."
Hermione internally sighed in relief. She didn't want to ever have a wolf inside of her, even if she could control it.
Her thoughts drifted to what this meant for her. It finally dawned on her that they were stuck together whether they liked it or not. Forever. She wouldn't be able to like anyone again. She would have to say goodbye any future with Ron or anyone for that matter. Hermione felt a flash of anger rise up with in her.
"Why did you have pick me?" She asked her voice couldn't help but be angry, "We hate each other. I don't want this, I don't want you. I have a semi boyfriend waiting for me to graduate school!" She said desperate to find out that this was just a dream.
Malfoy walked started to walk over to her, his large steps brining him dangerously close to her. Hermione didn't like how close he was as she walked backward hoping he would stop. He didn't. He trapped her as Hermione felt her back hit the wall. He lifted his hands on either side of her head leaning against the wall as he towered over her. She felt his breath on hers as she felt her body yearn for him. It was almost too much to bare.
Malfoy leaned in close his wolf cheering in victory as he did, "I didn't choose this either Granger," He said his voice rough and low, "Don't you dare flatter yourself into thinking that I even remotely want this. I didn't ask to have you in my head 24/7. I didn't ask for you to get my blood transferred into you," He said his jaw flexing as he clenched his jaw, "You think I like this? I've tried to think of every way to stop this from happening. I even went to my mother for help while I was gone just to try to get rid of you," He admitted.
Hermione tried to think of a coherent come back but her mind was too distracted by her body. She went silent as she felt her body yearn for him again. Suddenly she could feel his emotions inside of herself. It scared her for a moment. All of the things he was feelings washed over her in an overpowering experience. She felt how much he wanted her. She felt how much he wanted to touch her, kiss her, and hold her. Hermione couldn't bare all of the emotion that was going through her body. She had to stop this. It was driving her crazy. She looked down at his lips. What would she give to taste those lips.
Malfoy felt her body language change as her beautiful lips went down toward his mouth. His wolf almost exploded with arousement. Did she want him like he wanted her? Would she accept him?
Hermione tried to come back to her senses as she looked up back into his eyes. Big mistake. He looked at her like no one had ever looked at her before. His eyes were so gentle and caring; she had never in her life seen him like this. He looked scared and frightened but Hermione knew that he needn't be, because she felt the exact same way. It was though she could see into his thoughts and she could feel the pain that she had been causing him. It was though they were connected somehow.
"Why is this happening?" Hermione whispered, "Why can I feel what you're feeling?"
He made himself tightly grip the stones on the wall to keep control over himself, "Because like it or not Granger, your body is connecting with mine," He then very carefully went to whisper in her ear brushing her cheek with his, "Like it or not your body is mine."
Hermione's eyes grew fierce, knowing full well the truth of his words, but she didn't like him any better for it, "I control my own body Malfoy not you," She said her words thankfully coming out strong.
Malfoy gave her a smirk, "That might be true for now. But pretty soon you will want me to control your body. I can already see the way you look at me," He said leaning his forehead against hers seductively, "You're already wanting to feel me, taste my lips, know what my skin feels like," He felt his own eyes lower to hers, "Lord knows I have."
Hermione's insides were screaming at her. She wanted him. Oh how she wanted him. Every word he said was true and she could feel the fire burning through her veins as he spoke the words. She didn't want to give him the satisfaction of being right.
"Something tells me Malfoy that I have more control over you than you do of me," She said her voice cool.
She felt Malfoy tense up as he looked at her straight in the eye, "As much as I hate to admit," He said his eyes fixed on hers leaning in unintentionally, "You're right," He said weakly his werewolf coming out to the surface as he felt his eyes start to sharpen into his wolfs, "You can control me. And I hate you even more for it," He said truthfully, "But I also can't get you out of my mind," He said as he looked into her brown eyes wishing that they were closer.
Hermione felt her heart flutter as she looked back into his gorgeous eyes. They were his full wolf eyes, glowing yellow once again around his cornea like they had in class. She knew she should have been frightened by the sight. But she found that his eyes were entrancing to her. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen, it only made her want him more. Even though she knew that all of this was her wolf's blood's doing. It was making her crazy.
She had to get out of there before her body did something she didn't want it to. She tried to move but Malfoy wasn't budging.
"Malfoy," She said suddenly, "I it's getting late... I need to go."
She saw how his face grew in pain as she said the words. She could tell how much strength it took for him to lower his hands as they dropped to his sides limply. He took a few steps back letting her have space.
"Ok," He said simply, knives already digging at his airwaves as he distanced himself from her. If only she could stay. He hadn't slept in weeks and he wouldn't until she was beside him. But he couldn't lose her; he had to let her go. Or else he would scare her off. He hated this.
"Just think about what I said," He said.
Hermione nodded knowing that he was all she would be able to think about.
"Malfoy I'm sorry," Hermione said suddenly.
He gave her a questioning look.
"Somehow I felt what you felt... and if I felt like that over the past couple of weeks... there's no way I could handle it as well as you are," She said as she looked up at him, "I know how hard this must be for you but I really do need some time to take this in."
Malfoy was shocked about how well she was taking all of this. Her blood must be close to being to being all werewolf if she could see inside of his mind. His wolf buzzed with happiness that Hermione hadn't said that she rejected them.
"I know," He said simply, trying to mentally prepare himself for the long nights ahead.
Hermione gave him one last look before she moved. He was so beautiful. She could feel her body screaming at her to stay. It didn't want to leave. It was finally functioning normally and now it was going into go once again into restlessness mode. But she also knew that she needed time to figure this all out. She needed to be alone.
"Thank you," She said simply.
Before she could change her mind, she painfully turned to leave him standing there in the moonlight, heading down the stars quickly. Almost as if she was running away from him. In a way she supposed she was.
Malfoy felt his insides start to tear apart. She was gone, his wolf whined. It almost took over him, it wanted to make his limbs run after her and bring her back. Pressing back his wolf he ran his hand through his blonde hair roughly. He gave a loud sigh as he let his hands drop.
He couldn't help but thank the heavens that Hermione hadn't screamed at him and left running. He was afraid that she would have called him crazy. Not even asking for an explanation. But he should have known that wasn't Hermione. She wanted explanations for everything. This was no different. Well, now she had her answers. It was just up to her to know what to do with them.
He looked up toward the stars. He cursed to himself. He hated this. He hated this more than anything. He hated that he needed her to function normally. He hated that he couldn't sleep without her. Even the small amount of sleep he did get it, he was dreaming of her. Everything was Hermione, Hermione, Hermione. He hated her for it.
Deep down though Malfoy knew he didn't. He didn't hate her at all, which made him only angrier.
Malfoy suddenly remembered his mother's words that she had said to him when he told her everything. She said that you don't fall in love, you learn to love. Once he did that, everything else would fall into place.
He decided that he would trust his mother's words.
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Hermione had successfully avoided Malfoy for the past two days. Although she knew that no matter how much she distanced herself from him physically, he would always be mentally present in her mind. He had been right. Being away from him was harder than she thought, and it was just going to keep getting harder. She felt herself want to give into her body and go find him. However, she needed time to think about everything that he had told her. Her whole life was changed. Everything she had planned, everything that she had once wanted was gone in a flash. Whether she liked it or not, that night had changed everything about her. Now she knew what was happening to her, she couldn't deny it any more. She should feel better thought right? But Hermione didn't feel better knowing. Malfoy was right; it would have been easier if he didn't tell her any of this. However, deep down she knew should would have had to find out eventually.
The weekend was coming up and she had gotten permission to leave Hogwarts from the head master Professor McGonagall. Hermione told her it was an emergency situation and that she needed to see Harry and Ron. Of course Professor McGonagall would have let her go either way. She was grateful for how much the three did for the wizarding world. She didn't really mind Hermione coming and going as she pleased, which to Hermione was a large blessing.
She had to talk to Ron. She knew she had to tell him and it scared her to death. He would be at the burrow with the rest of his family. Ginny begged Hermione to take her with her but Hermione didn't want her to come. She didn't want her to be there to witness what she was about to do. When she tried to tell Ginny no she was furious. She had wanted to see Harry so badly. She even threatened to burn Hermione's homework. So of course, with her course work in jeopardy, Hermione finally agreed to let her come.
Before Hermione knew it, she and Ginny stood in the head Master's office by the fire place with floo powder in their hands. Professor McGonagall was present as per the rules. It was the only fire place that allowed anyone from Hogwarts to leave by way of floo powder to keep others from entering Hogwarts. Hermione let Ginny go first.
"See you soon," Ginny said beaming, knowing that she would see Harry soon.
She stepped into the fire place. Once she was ready Hermione heard her shout, "The burrow."
Hermione watched the green flames enflame her as she was whisked away. She tried move her feet to force herself into the fire place, but she couldn't. She was scared to face Harry and Ron. She knew how they would react. They were going to freak out, big time.
She stood there fighting with herself as Professor McGonagall voice startled her.
"Are you alright Miss Granger?" She asked pointedly over her spectacles.
Hermione looked at her trying to mask her fear.
"Oh me? Yes I'm fine," She said but she still couldn't make herself move. Her emotions were getting the best of her once again. She started to second guess herself. She couldn't tell them. They would never look at her the same again. The thought made her cringe.
Professor McGonagall gave her a small knowing smile, "You're afraid to tell them," She stated not making it a question.
Hermione looked at her surprised, "I'm sorry?"
Professor McGonagall took a few steps toward Hermione, "I've been around a long time Miss Granger. Nothing in this school goes unnoticed by me," She said, "I know."
Hermione's eyes widened filled with dread, "You do?"
McGonagall nodded, "The signs are fairly obvious if you are paying attention. I can only assume that Mr. Malfoy has something with to with it," She stopped, then corrected herself, "Well let's be honest, he is the whole reason."
Hermione couldn't believe what she was hearing, was it so obvious? Hermione couldn't speak as she stood there for a moment. She didn't want everyone to know. What would happen if word got out? She wouldn't know what to do or how she would handle it.
"You needn't be afraid," McGonagall said, looking at her softly but very serious, "I trust you Miss Granger. I can only imagine how you must be feeling, but," She paused, "What I can tell you is that you are a strong woman. This is merely the next step for you. I know of no other person that could handle this as well as you can. You must remember that you are still the same person Miss Granger. No one, not even Mr. Malfoy can change that."
Hermione felt her heart warm at her words. She had always respected Professor McGonagall, and in a way she also admired her. She had always been like a role model to Hermione. Professor McGonagall always had a certain wit, and sharpness that made people listen to her. To hear her say these words was one of the biggest complements that Hermione could have received. It made her feel a little better.
"Thank you Professor," She said giving her a sincere smile, pausing for a moment, "But... Is there no way to stop it?" Hermione asked fearing the answer.
She gave her a sad smile, "Unfortunately Miss Granger, there is not."
Hermione felt her stomach sink, she had expected that much.
"They will understand," McGonagall said as she looked sympathetically at Hermione, "If I know anything about you three is that you stick together."
Hermione smiled, McGonagall's words giving her some comfort.
"Thank you," Hermione said truly meaning the words.
A small silence came between them as Hermione looked at the floo powder in her hands.
The Professor smiled, "You better get going. Good luck Miss Granger."
Hermione gave a small smile back as she turned to leave Hogwarts...
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Ron and Harry couldn't have been happier about the surprise of Hermione and Ginny coming for the weekend. Hermione couldn't believe how good it was to see them both. They talked as though they hadn't missed a beat. Harry and Ron told Hermione all about what they had been doing at the ministry and what they'd been doing for work. Hermione felt a twinge of pain stab at her heart as she realized that she might not be working at the ministry with them both. She shoved her feelings aside as she tried to appear happy. Ginny must have warned them that Hermione would be different before she arrived because their faces seemed to try to keep calm when they saw her. To their credit, they didn't make a single comment about what she looked like. Although she could tell that Ron was beyond curious from the stares that she caught him giving her. She knew that he would want to talk about it tonight. Which is what she came here to do, but she was scared. Hermione was trying to gather her courage up as the night wore on.
Mrs. Weasely made a wonderful dinner for them all. It was only the four of them and Ron's parents for dinner tonight. Everyone else gone from the burrow. George was still running his joke shop, Percy still at the ministry, and Bill and Charlie were away of course for work as well. Hermione listened to them all as they laughed and joked together. She smiled and laughed with them at the stories they told, but she knew it wasn't genuine. Hermione was nervous and Ron and Harry were starting to notice her strange behavior. Harry had asked if she was alright, but she brushed him off saying that she was just tired. This was in part the truth she reasoned.
After dinner Harry, Ginny, Ron and Hermione went into the front room in front of the fireplace to talk. Ginny was happier than Hermione had seen her in weeks. Harry seemed to miss her just as much. They were simply made to be together Hermione thought. A pain went through her as she thought of Malfoy. Whether she liked it or not, she would be made for him too. She wished that she didn't have to tell them. It started eating at her more and more the longer she sat there. Her eyes went over to the fire place, distracting her from them as their voices became muffled to her. Her eyes starred at the enchanting flames as they dance. As she did so she discovered that Malfoy once again had found his way into her thoughts. She was already starting to ache for him. She could feel her body being weighed down from the slow emotional pain eating away at her. Hermione thought back to the night in the astronomy tower remembering everything about him. His hair, his eyes, his smell, and even his voice. It sent shivers up her spin just remembering how close he had gotten. Hermione felt her body liking him more and more every day, it was starting to reach her brain because she found herself missing him. She found herself wondering how he was doing... Was he thinking of her too? Was he missing her as much as she was missing him? She didn't know, but she secretly hoped so.
She was still starring into the fire when Ron's voice pulled her out of her thinking zone.
"So Hermione," Ron said a little too casually, "How's school been? Anything interesting happening back at Hogwarts?"
Hermione took a deep breath as she put on a brave face. She noticed that Harry and Ginny had stopped talking watching Hermione closely, waiting for her to speak.
She cleared her throat, "Oh you know, it's the same old Hogwarts..." She lied, her voice trailing off.
She looked at Harry and Ron as there eye brows rose, meaning they really didn't believe her.
"Come on Hermione," Harry said as he leaned forward away from Ginny, "Whatever it is you can tell us."
Ron nodded encouragingly, "Yeah we are your best mates, you can tell us."
Hermione took a deep breath, "It's a long story," She said wrapping her arms protectively around herself.
Ron rolled his eyes, "Then start from the beginning."
"It's a good place to start," Harry said with a wink.
Hermione gave a small weak smile that didn't reach her eyes. She had mentally prepared herself for this before, but all of her confidence was slipping away as they looked at her.
That's when she remembered Professor McGonagall's words, Hermione may be mates with Malfoy now, but she was still the same Hermione, and no one was going to change that. Hermione knew what she had to do.
She took a long deep breath, as she turned to face them both, "Ok, but you two both have to promise not to interrupt me until I am completely finished. Agreed?" Hermione said looking seriously at them.
Ron and Harry's looks went from curious to concerned, but they nodded none the less.
"We promise," Harry said looking to Ron for conformation.
"Promise," Ron said.
Hermione gathered her courage as she took another deep breath, "Ok, so it all started the day you two dropped me off at the train station..." She began.
She told them the whole story. Her voice soft and shaky, careful to leave out the word Malfoy until the right moment. To her surprise, they all kept quite throughout her experience. Their eyes not revealing much of their thoughts. Sometimes Ron's eye brows would furrow, other times they would rise unbelievably.
Hermione must have been talking for hours; at least that's what it felt like. By the time she was done telling her story the fire had almost gone completely out, only leaving burning embers in their wake.
"And that's what happened," Hermione said finishing her story.
Harry and Ron's eyes looked like they were about to pop out of their sockets, the room deathly quiet. Hermione didn't know what else to say so she kept quiet, waiting for them to take in everything she had just told them.
Harry was the first to respond, "Wow," He said simply.
Ron gave a large sigh as he ran his hands through his long red hair.
"You still haven't told us who he is," Ron said his eyes looking directly into hers for the first time. His eyes pained. She felt her heart crack.
She took a large sallow, "I left it out on purpose," She said careful with her words pausing for a moment, "Because that's the hardest part of this to take in."
Harry scoffed, "How is having werewolf blood in your system not the hardest part of this to take in?" He asked incredibly.
Hermione looked at Harry sadly as her eyes dared to move to Ron. His eyes were locked onto hers paying very close attention to what she was about to say.
"Because it's Malfoy," She said finally admitting it out loud to them.
She would never forget the look on their faces...