Disclaimer: Unfortunately, my name isn't J. K. Rowling...which means that I own nothing. While you guys read, I'll go cry in a corner about the fact that I didn't create this marvelous world and these amazing characters.

Florence and Evanna were worried about me; I could see it in their eyes whenever they looked at me. I couldn't help it though. I was worried about Ron, Hermione and Harry, I was upset with the kind of class Muggle Studies and Defence Against the Dark Arts turned out to be, talking with Draco had only made memories of better times with him resurface from where I buried them and the mood in the castle was even darker than when students were getting petrified left and right.

"I think you should talk to Madam Pomfrey," advised Florence. We were sitting at breakfast and I couldn't help notice the anxious glances that Evanna and Florence kept shooting me.

"Why?" I asked, pouring myself pumpkin juice.

"Because you look like a zombie," said Evanna bluntly.

"I just haven't been sleeping well," I said, shrugging.

"It's more than that," said Florence. "You've been missing class a lot lately. Really, I'm surprised you haven't received a detention yet. I mean, you've been like this since school started and it's now almost the end of October."

"I'm just worried about Ron," I muttered.

I could see that they both didn't believe that that was the only reason for my depressing mood.

"Well, if that's all it is, maybe you should write to your mum about it?" suggested Florence.

"You can't worry about Ron and them right now," said Evanna. "They all chose to go on this mission. You have to focus on school and surviving this ghastly year under the Carrows."

"I don't want to talk to my mum about it," I said.

"Do you have someone you can talk to?" pressed Florence. "Because you obviously can't talk to us about it."

I instantly perked up. I was a bloody idiot for not thinking of it before today. There was somebody I could talk to. Of course, I had told Adrian everything at Dumbledore's funeral so there would be no problem telling him about everything that was going on.

"Yeah, there is somebody," I laughed. It was the first time I had actually laughed with real humour in a while.

"Who?" asked Evanna as I jumped up from my seat.

I smiled down at her. "Adrian," I said, before speed walking over to the Ravenclaw table.

"Morning Ginny," said Adrian once I stopped beside his seat. He looked up at me and then raised an eyebrow at my stupid grin. "What's going on?"

I was so close to being able to get everything off my chest, I was euphoric. "Can I talk to you?"

"Now?" he asked. "Class is going to start soon."

"Yes now, you doorknob," I laughed, grasping Adrian's sleeve and pulling him up.

"Doorknob?" Adrian chuckled as he followed me out of the Great Hall. "Someone's in a good mood."

I led Adrian up to the Room of Requirement and thought of a comfortable place to talk that no one would be able to find. What the Room gave us was a small room with comfy armchairs placed in front of a fireplace and a tray with tea things sitting between the chairs.

"Cosy," said Adrian, moving into the room and settling in one of the armchairs. I made sure to lock the door before sitting down opposite.

"I know I really didn't give you a choice if you wanted to talk to me or not," I said, crossing my legs on the chair and resting my hands in my lap.

"I'm your friend Ginny," he said. "I'm always here when you want to talk."

"You're a good friend."

Adrian smiled and then his face turned serious. "So what's wrong? What do you want to talk about?"

I took a deep breath to calm myself. Where did my euphoric feeling go? Why was I suddenly nervous?

"I want to talk about everything I told you that afternoon after Dumbledore's funeral," I said.

"Okay?"

"It's just…I'm feeling so guilty over it," I admitted.

Adrian looked thoughtful. "I can't take away your guilt Ginny. I will help you anyway I can but the only way you'll feel better is if you forgive yourself."

"I'm surprised you never questioned why I did what I did," I said, frowning.

Adrian gave me a small smile. "Do you remember how upset you were that day? I couldn't pester you with my questions. And then the Hogwarts Express left shortly after and it never felt right asking you about it in a letter."

"But once school started?"

"I saw how…haunted you looked. I knew that things were still weighing heavily on you and I wasn't going to make it worse with questions."

I sat up straighter in the armchair and gathered all my resolve. I knew I would have to be brutally honest about everything if I was going to finally get some peace of mind. "Do you want to know why I did it?"

"If you're willing to tell me, then I'll listen," said Adrian, leaning back slightly in his chair.

"Early last year, I became friends with Astoria Greengrass," I started.

"Yeah, I remember. You also became friends with her friends and then you were close with that Slytherin gang for quite a while."

"Well, I became especially close to Astoria, Blaise and Draco. I even knew that Draco was a Death Eater but…but I didn't care. I was blinded."

Adrian frowned and leaned forward. "Blinded by what? Power?"

I shook my head. "No, not power. I'm not one of those people who want power."

"Then what could you have been blinded by?"

What could I say; that I was blinded by a stormy eyed boy who could make my heart race with just a glance? That I was blinded by a temperamental blonde that seemed to understand the most secretive parts of my mind? A Slytherin boy who let his guard down around me and let me see his vulnerable side. I was blinded by the Malfoy heir who lied to the Weasley girl to protect her from the Death Eaters.

Was I blinded by lust? I didn't think so because Draco and I had only ever kissed. It wasn't my physical and biological needs that drove me to help Draco. It was the fact that I cared for him. Even now, when I knew I was still mad at Draco, I knew that I still cared deeply for him. I cared for him enough to lie to everyone I loved, to cheat on my boyfriend and to help commit an unthinkable act. All of those things were done with the intention of helping Draco because I cared for him.

And then suddenly, I was hit with the realization of the depths of my feelings.

"Love," I finally answered. "I was blinded by love."

Adrian gaped at me and it took him a few seconds to compose himself. "Love? You were blinded by love?"

"I helped Draco with the Vanishing Cabinet because I loved him."

Adrian was quick to jump onto my use of the past tense. "Loved? So you don't love him anymore?"

My mind immediately jumped to that kiss Draco and I had shared recently on the Astronomy Tower. I remembered how my heart had raced and I felt like I had had electricity for blood. There was no denying that my feelings were still the same as they had been last year.

"I do," I said, my voice coming out breathless. "I do still love him."

I could see that I had really dumbfounded Adrian so I gave him a couple minutes to put his thoughts together. I busied myself with making us cups of tea from the tea service and only after I had drunk half of my cup, did Adrian speak again.

"But Draco…why Draco Malfoy of all people?" asked Adrian, picking up the cup of tea I had made him.

"Draco…he's like fire and ice and rage," I said, hoping that Adrian would be able to understand what I'm trying to say, "He's like the night and the storm in the heart of the sun. He's ancient and forever. It's like he burns at the center of time and can see the turn of the universe and…he's wonderful."

"Wow…that's intense," said Adrian.

"Yeah," I nervously chuckled. I hadn't meant for Adrian to know just how much I came to realize I loved Draco.

"It all makes sense now," said Adrian after a minute.

"How so?"

"Well the distance you put between you and Dean and how you told anyone who would listen that you wanted to be single for a while after you and Dean broke up. Also, Florence told me that you took a lot of trips to the library alone to work but I guess you didn't always go to the library, did you?"

"You aren't going to tell me how stupid I am for loving a Death Eater?" I pressed.

"Honestly, I don't think I'll ever like Draco Malfoy but you obviously see something in him that the rest of us can't. I can't say I don't want you ever doing anything with him because I'm not your parents. That's not my place," sighed Adrian.

I frowned. This was not what I thought he would say. "What are you trying to say?"

"I'm saying; if you love him and he feels the same way, then go for it. Be with him if that's what you truly want and need," said Adrian. "Just be extremely careful about it. Stay away from the Death Eater's and their ranks."

"I know Draco likes me," I admitted. "But I don't think he feels the same way as I do."

"There's only one way for you to know," said Adrian, knowingly.

I quirked an eyebrow. "And what's that?"

"Tell him," Adrian simply said.

"Are you crazy!? I can't just go and tell Draco Malfoy that I'm in love with him! Were you dropped on your head as a child?!"

"You're unhappy and guilt ridden," said Adrian. "Maybe some love and happiness is all you need to help you get over this guilt you carry."

"But to find love and happiness with the person that made you feel guilty in the first place…isn't that kind of twisted?" I asked.

Adrian shrugged. "Yeah, it is but since when does love ever make sense?"

"I feel like I'm free," I confessed. "Like a weights been lifted."

"Well that is some heavy stuff you've been carrying around," said Adrian. "But I'm glad that you know you can come to me whenever you need to talk."

"Thank you so much Adrian," I said, getting up and pulling Adrian into a hug.

"Anytime Ginny. Now let's get to class before we get detention."

After my talk with Adrian, I was buoyant for the rest of the day. At dinner time, I could see the relief that Florence and Evanna felt as I smiled and laughed with them like I hadn't in weeks.

"So I take it that your talk with Adrian went good?" asked Florence.

I smiled. "Yeah, I feel much better."

"I knew it just wasn't worry about Ron, Hermione and Harry that was making you miserable," said Evanna.

"I have a lot going on but I'm working on it," I said, shovelling more potatoes onto my plate.

"So we have our Ginny back?" asked Evanna.

"I never left," I said. "I was just…asleep."

Florence snorted. "More like petrified."

I playfully threw a piece of potato across the table at her. "Says the girl who sleeps like she's petrified!"

"I do not," said Florence, sounding very affronted.

Evanna and I erupted into peals of laughter and we only stopped chuckling about it as we made our way up to the Gryffindor common room.

"Now you'll be able to get your head back into your homework," said Florence as she dragged her bag over to her chair.

I rolled my eyes at her patronizing tone but dug into my star chart with as much vigor as I could muster. It was about time that I reapplied myself to my studies after my weeks in a zombie state so I actually tried to fill in my chart instead of making things up.

Before I knew it, my chart was done and I let myself sit back while I absentmindedly watched Evanna try to roll up her parchment with her wand.

After Adrian had told me that I should go for it with Draco, I couldn't stop thinking what it would be like to tell him how I felt. Yeah, I knew that Draco was essentially evil—or at least, he was on the side of evil—but that had never stopped me last year. And the fact that Ron wasn't here this year could be considered a boon. There would be no one that would write home and tell my parents if a relationship with Draco was found out.

But I knew we could never really tell anyone if we were to enter into a relationship together. We would have to hide just like last year because of who we were. Neither my friends nor Draco's would be supportive of a relationship between us.

If only there was a way for me to show people the side of Draco I had come to know. Or at least a way to balance out the dark aspects of what Draco was doing if we were in a relationship. I knew that people would maybe be a little more accepting if they could see that Draco wasn't pure evil like they envisioned.

Neville unexpectedly caught my eye as he walked by me towards the boy's dormitory and I suddenly had an idea.

"Hey, Neville," I called, jumping up from my armchair.

"Hey Ginny," said Neville, turning to face me. "What's up?"

I looked left and right and then leaned closer towards Neville. "Can I talk to you?" I asked, my voice hushed.

Comprehension dawned on his face and then he nodded. "Let's just go to an empty classroom, yeah?"

I nodded and followed Neville through the portrait hole. We were silent as we trudged down the cold corridors until we came to an empty room. Neville crept inside after me and shut the door.

"I want to help you restart the D.A," I said, skipping any pleasantries.

"That's great," said Neville. His previous blank face split into a grin. "You didn't seem so sure of it before. What changed?"

I couldn't tell Neville how I hoped that by me helping with Dumbledore's Army would cancel out any horrible thing Draco decided to do. I knew that this was the right thing to do, even if I was doing it for slightly selfish reasons.

"Nothing changed," I said. "I just had to give it a little thought is all."

"Well I'm glad you're helping," said Neville. "For a while, I just thought it would be me and Luna."

"Luna's helping? She didn't tell me she was going to help for sure."

Neville nodded. "I asked her not to talk to you about it until you've made a decision."

I crossed my arms and smiled at Neville. "Well I've made my decision. When should we meet to figure everything out?"

Neville thought for a moment. "Thursday night? We can meet in the Room of Requirement just like before."

"Deal," I said. Neville grinned at me once and then led us back to Gryffindor common room without any mishap.

"Where did you go with Neville?" asked Evanna once I had sat back down.

"Nowhere," I said, pulling out a random book and sticking my nose in it. "I just had to tell him something."

"Does Ginny Weasley have a crush on Neville Longbottom?" teased Florence.

I felt my cheeks flame as I slammed my book down. "I do not! I think Luna has a thing for him anyway."

"Really?" pressed Evanna. "I never knew."

I shrugged. "Luna didn't say anything. It's just this vibe I got when I was with them once."

"They'd make a cute couple," mused Florence.

"Yeah, and then Neville could help Luna hunt for Crumple Horned Snorkacks," laughed Evanna.

We all burst out into laughter at the image of Neville hunting a magical creature that doesn't exist with Luna.

The rest of the week passed in a blur of homework and meals. Even though we all had just done our OWLS, the teachers were piling on homework like it was OWL year all over again. And then I finally got a small break when Thursday night came around.

I expected the meeting to be long and filled with people but there was only Neville, Luna and I. The meeting was quick since we were all scared to be out roaming the castle at night while the Carrows were in charge of discipline. The only thing we really discussed was more members and Luna and I both agreed that we should approach past D.A. members.

"Would you possibly have the list that Hermione made?" Neville asked me.

I shook my head. "Nope. But I remember a few people."

"You know what I think we should do," said Luna, her dreamy voice floating around us.

"Hmm?" asked Neville.

Luna turned to me. "Remember when you were possessed by You-Know-Who and you wrote messages on the corridor walls with chicken blood?"

I swallowed hard. That year had been the worst for me. "Yeah, what about it?"

"Don't you think it would be rather poetic to write a message from Dumbledore's Army about recruiting with chicken blood on the corridor walls?"

I was slightly revolted by the idea because it screamed too much of my time being possessed but the sensible part in my head agreed that it was rather poetic. "So you want us to go kill some of Hagrid's chickens?"

"Or we could just use the blood you would find in potion kits or the store cupboard," Neville said quickly after glancing at me.

Luna shrugged and started to stare off into space.

"Okay, we'll do that next week," said Neville, standing up from his cushion on the floor. "Now, I think it's time we go before we get caught."

Neville and I snuck back to the common room together and parted at the stairway to the dormitories. I quickly changed into a ratty shirt that used to belong to Bill and slipped under my covers. As I drifted off to sleep, I couldn't help but think of how much simpler my life would be—not to mention how happy my dad would be— if I could love a muggle.

Review! Review! Review!

Hey, I'm back from a rather long break. Thank you for all bearing with me :) I hope you like this chapter because I got really excited about Ginny finally telling someone about Draco! Please remember to review and I hope you don't hate me for the long break I took :)

PS- I stole that quote- like what Ginny tells Adrian when Adrian asked why Ginny loves Draco- from Doctor Who. I'm not a Doctor Who fan but I loved that quote and it seemed to work with the scenario.