As Sadness made her way though the upstairs hallway, she found herself wondering how much help she could really be this time. As she passed door after door, she kept thinking of possibly outcomes to this situation. She didn't like how many could turn out sad.
Herself and Fear were similar. She had always felt a different sort of connection to him, even when she was being ignored. She felt that, in some twisted way, they were connected through negativity. They were the ones that needed the other, more positive or abrasive emotions to function, lest they fall into the void of depression and anxiety. Obsessing over the weight of life's problems. But while they relied on the company of the others (more than she knew how to admit, and more than he was probably willing to), the two of them shared the knowing glances, the worries whispers. When Joy, Disgust and Anger were quick to do away with a nagging thought or feeling of Riley's, Fear and Sadness would often discuss it in private. Because they knew, the other would understand.
She only could hope, this time, that would hold true.
When she arrived at Fear's door, she could hear soft sniffles coming from the other side, and knew she had made the right decision in coming.
She knocked. "Fear?"
She received no response, but the crying had stopped. She tried again, "Fear, can I come in?"
Never one to push, and knowing it wouldn't help anyway, she simply waited. Before long, she heard a click, and the door cracked open.
"S-sadness?" He was trying so hard, but was still so obviously shaken up, "Um, you c-can tell Joy that I'll, um, I'll be right down."
"Do you wanna talk?"
He met her eyes then, and couldn't find it within himself to turn her away. He could admit to himself when he needed help. He sighed, and opened the door to let her in.
Silently, the two made their way over to his bed, each sitting down on the floor land leaning back against it. Sadness took a moment to look at Fear, before saying anything, and could tell that he was scared. But this…this was a different scared than she had ever seen him be. He was trembling, as he often did, but he wasn't fidgety. When Fear was exceptionally nervous, he wrung his hands, or bit his lip. His eyes would grow wide and flighty, and he would pace, or rock, or tap his foot. Something.
But now, he did nothing. His knees were brought up to his chest and his arms encompassed them; his eyes stared at a fixed point on the carpet and he was still. This wasn't just nervousness. This was dread.
She realized that the way this day turned out would define not only Fear and Disgust, but likely all of them. She hoped she was ready.
"Fear, are you…are you going to be okay?"
The question was innocent enough, Fear supposed, but boy, what was the answer?
With his voice still quivering, he returned, "I—ah…I don't know. H-how am I supposed to—what do I do?"
"I wish I had an answer."
He deflated marginally at this, but they both knew that at this point, there was no answer.
She waited a moment, and then said, "You can talk to me, Fear, if you want. I'll listen."
"Why?" She was unsurprised by the shallow venom in his words; it often appeared when he was upset, and very rarely was it directed outward. "Why do you want to listen to me ramble, blubber on about some s-stupid thing I just did…" He trailed off, losing control of the tremor in his voice.
This, she could answer. "Because you're sad. And I think you need to let somebody know why."
"You know why."
"Not really. Not like you do."
She was right, of course, but that didn't make it easier to start talking. She would be patient, though. Once he began she knew he would tell her everything he needed to.
He struggled with himself for a while, trying to right his breathing before he spoke again. Finally, after however long a time, he did. "I guess, uh…I guess it wasn't really that big of a secret anyway, huh?" He looked to see Sadness gently shake her head, and scoffed at himself, "Yeah, that's what I thought. Anger always teased me about it when we were alone." His attempt at humor made the situation that much sadder. When his false smile melted, he went on.
"She…She probably knew, too, do you think?" Sadness gave a shrug, but he didn't catch it, too caught up was he in his impending panic to take notice. "She's smart enough. And I'm not exactly mysterious." He wiped a weary hand over his face. "She's probably known for years."
"Has it been years?"
Fear seemed to have forgotten she was there, and jumped a little at her soft voice. "I—y-yes, years."
"You said 'always.'"
He shrank into himself before confirming her observation, "Y-yeah. Always."
"That's a long time to keep a secret. Why didn't you tell anyone?"
"Because…" He cut off, and signed. The tension, good and bad, bled from his body and he practically deflated in front of her. "Because I was too scared. I was scared of her f-finding out, of anger making fun of us, of Joy putting us into situations she would think were funny but would really be totally, completely mortifying…"
He stilled his rant, and she thought she could see him turn inward. "I was scared of what she might say. I didn't know if she would laugh in my face, or yell at me for having the nerve to feel that way about her. I w-was scared that she would be…cruel to me. I deserve it."
He wasn't shaking anymore. He was barely breathing, with how quiet his voice was. At this moment, he had given up, surrendered to facing each and every one of his horrible fantasies once Disgust gained back her ability of speech. Sadness' heart went out to him, and she scooted over a foot or two to where he sat, and put her arms around him as best as she could. He leaned into her, and she couldn't see his face, but she felt him begin to cry again.
"Fear, you don't deserve cruelty," she said with as much conviction as she could muster, and she felt him shiver against her. "What you feel right now is okay, and if you're sad about this, or whatever happens next, you can always come to me. I don't know what Disgust will say; I wish I had a good answer, but I can't lie to you. I don't know, and I'm sorry." She paused, taking a moment for both of them to cry in silence a little. But she knew she had to continue. "This might end well." Fear scoffed into her hair, and his arms stiffened around her.
"Yeah, right."
"I mean it. I'm not as good as Joy is at this optimism thing, but, well, Disgust could be nice about it."
"I'm nothing to her."
Sadness' heart was breaking. She pulled back from him enough to catch his eye. "You are not nothing to her. She cares. I can't tell you how much, but you're her friend, at least."
They were both silent, Fear taking in her words and Sadness letting him.
Then after a moment she spoke again, "I can't speak for her. I-I won't. But she deserves a minute to say what she needs to say, whatever it is, and if you need me at the end if it, I'll be right there. O-okay?"
Fear said nothing, but took in a steadying sigh and nodded.
Then, as if by some cosmic design, the two heard a knock on the door. Fear at once began trembling again.
It creaked open just enough for Disgust to lean tentatively through. "Fear? Uh…may I come in?"
A/n: If any of you still haven't seen the interview, I refer you to an earlier comment made by the very helpful winxclubfan1:)