*** Enjoy! I OWN NOTHING – except Hannah and Alex ***
Hannah was antsy the next morning, sitting on the edge of the bed and just waiting. Everything was packed up, Alex was sitting on the bed watching cartoons, something she hardly ever allowed him to do, and she had the dead man's gun in her lap, though the safety was still on.
She had woken just after dawn, and even though they'd both eaten, and she'd had at least two cups of coffee, she was still feeling uneasy. It felt like something had to go wrong – she was so close to being safe. She had showered again, enjoying the luxury products, and then took the extra effort to blow dry her hair, something she never had the ability to do anymore at home because she was always running short on time. It left her hair looking thick and shiny, a healthy golden fall around her shoulders and face.
Alex had spent the past twelve hours or so in one place, this hotel room, and he seemed back to normal, although he had been asking for the cat over and over again, which made Hannah sad. When a knock sounded at the door, her heart slammed up into her throat and Hannah lurched to her feet. She moved to the door and climbed on the desk that she was keeping there, before looking out the peephole. It was Clint and he had a man with him that she didn't recognize. That made her wary almost instantly.
"One moment!" She called through the door, working to pull the desk out of the way. When it was moved, she turned the safety off on the gun, and then unlocked the door, pulling it open and aiming the weapon at the men standing outside.
"Who is he?" She asked quickly, her tone harsh. Clint seemed surprised, and his eyes went to the lurid bruising on her throat, making his brow draw down. "What is that? Who did that?" He asked immediately, his voice angry, nodding his chin at her neck.
"Someone attacked me at the mall, he tried to kill me, I stabbed him with a piece of glass," she replied, "Now tell me who this guy is, Clint - bringing a stranger wasn't part of the plan." Clint nodded at her words.
"I'm a friend of Steve's," the handsome black man said, "My name is Sam Wilson." She swallowed and there was a distinct tremor in her hand. Clint reached out gently and removed the gun from her weakening grip and he handed it to Sam immediately. Hannah stepped towards Clint, a relative stranger, yes, but still the closest thing to a friend she had right now, and he pulled her into a tentative hug, which she returned gladly. She began to cry and he backed her into the hotel room, Sam following and shutting the door. They stood in the little hallway of the hotel room entrance, the hug from Clint shifting into him standing with an arm around her as she wiped her tears away.
"I-I'm sorry, god I'm such a mess, I'm sorry Clint, for making you come here," she said, tears still weighing down her voice. He shook his head and stepped away from her, holding her at arms-length for a moment. He ran a hand gently down the horribly bruised side of her neck. "Obviously you need my help, though it sounds like you've done alright on your own... really? A piece of glass?" He reassured her with his flippancy. She laughed then, a watery sound, but genuine, and nodded before she stepped away, gesturing into the bedroom portion of the room.
"This is Alex," she told them, stepping up next to the bed. Alex was torn between growing suddenly shy of the newcomers and still being interested by the rarely-seen cartoons, his wide blue eyes kept darting over to the two men and then back to the TV screen.
"Holy shit," Sam said in a quiet voice, before immediately looking ashamed and hurrying on in a much higher pitched, obviously for the baby, voice, "I mean, uh, holy crap." Hannah laughed at that. "He doesn't understand," she told him, and he shook his head, his eyes locked on Alex.
"Steve's his father," Sam Wilson said, his voice stating a fact, not asking a question. Her posture stiffened and she opened her mouth to respond, before closing it again, not sure what to say. Clint was gazing in disbelief at her son as well. "You can't deny it," he told her, "The resemblance is uncanny." Hannah sighed and reached down for the TV remote, turning the television off. She scooped Alex up off the bed before he could fuss too much and took a step towards the men.
"This is Alex," she told them, "Buddy, this is Clint and Sam." Alex regarded them with wide, solemn eyes, before turning to bury his face in her shoulder.
"You never told Steve," Clint said, shooting an eyebrow up as he looked at her, "Why?"
"For his safety, for Alex's safety!" She replied indignantly, "I wanted him to live a normal life, a safe life, away from the shit that's fallen down on us the past couple of days."
"That obviously didn't work," Clint argued, watching as Sam stuck a finger out towards Alex, tickling a chubby little cheek. Hannah huffed out a breath. "It's not my fault that everything fell apart, that was on you people, on your organization, I was just living my life," she defended herself, "If anyone has failed here it's all of you, and SHIELD."
"I had nothing to do with anything, I just came along for the ride, to help out Steve," Sam said in a sing song voice as he chucked Alex under the chin. He was rewarded with a big gummy smile from the boy.
"Jesus, Hannah, didn't you listen? I told you to get out before it got serious, I thought you listened, though it was hard to tell - you can be very hostile when you -," Clint was lecturing her now and she glared at him darkly. "Oh, he's pissing Mommy off," Sam whispered to Alex in a silly voice, making the baby burble out a little giggle - even his baby-laughter was reminiscent of Steve's generally sunny disposition and they all paused to stare at Alex in wonderment.
"Does Steve know you're here?" She finally asked carefully, looking between the two of them. Clint looked very serious now, obviously very upset by her prior words regarding SHIELD's failures, and he shook his head before answering. "No, he was injured, he's recovering somewhere safe," he told her, turning away and picking up her packed bags, "We need to go, get you two somewhere safe, and then we can talk more about all of this." Hannah nodded and followed the two of them out of the room, happy that she only had to carry Alex, relieved that she had comrades again, and, as was becoming her new normal, fearful of what lay ahead.
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8 hours later and the SUV they were driving in arrived in front of a fairly simple looking farm house. It was just her, Alex, and Clint now. Sam had apparently only come along as back-up for part of the journey, in case things got "rough and out of hand", as Sam put it. Hannah liked him, he seemed like a normal guy, and he was clearly enamored with Alex, which was always a sure-fire way to win a place in her heart. Steve has great friends, she though to herself then, watching as Sam pretended to eat Alex's feet, causing the baby to laugh shrilly, Maybe I should have trusted them all those years ago. Her heart gave a little pang at the thought, the familiar "What Could Have Been" timeline floating up in her mind, reminding her, especially now in light of the fact that Steve's inner circle was in fact comprised of really good people, not dead machines, that she could have stayed with him. They could have grown that spark they shared. We could have raised Alex together.
Hannah sighed in exhaustion, her thoughts circling back to Sam as Clint turned the SUV off in front of the farmhouse. When did he leave? Was it the bus station? No, no, it was the train station, right? They had driven out of Virginia, taken 3 or 4 different buses, plus two trains, driven some more, and then taken a small plane, flown by Clint, to a very rural airport. He had a vehicle waiting there and they drove down bumping dirt roads after that.
"Where are we?" She asked softly, and groggily, climbing out of the backseat, a completely knocked out Alex heavy in her arms. Clint glanced over at her as he grabbed her bags, his face hesitant. "This is my house," he said quietly. She stared at him, uncomprehending for a moment. "My wife, my kids, they live here, they have for years," he continued, leading her towards the broad front stairs, "No one knows they're here, no one knows they exist, no one, not even Steve, or the Avengers. This was part of the deal for me to join SHIELD – they were left completely off the record."
She stopped walking then, balking at the bottom of the stairs. He paused halfway up and turned to her, the setting sun casting pink light on his face. "Why did you bring me here, then?" She asked him, feeling like she was being given something she didn't deserve, "This is a risk, Clint, they're hunting me."
He shook his head. "They'll never find you here, I promise you that," he said in a steady voice, "Come inside." She glanced down at Alex and pressed a kiss to his head, before nodding and stepping inside. She looked around in wonder. If you Googled 'family farmhouse' pictures of this home would come up. Everything was homey and comfortable, including the sound of children's thundering footsteps and their squeals of "Daddy! Daddy!" She stood back, in the shadow of the front door's entrance-way, and watched Clint's son and daughter hug him, watched his lovely, petite wife hug and kiss him, before she turned to Hannah.
A broad smile split her face, a genuine, warm look. "Hi, my name is Laura," she said, approaching with her hand extended. Hannah freed a hand from beneath Alex and shook. "Hannah," she replied, and then gestured at Alex, still sleeping heavily, "This is Alex."
"He's a sweetie," Laura said, peering down at his sleeping face, "Come in, come in." Clint dropped her bags by the entrance and then he disappeared with his two kids further into the house, while Laura led Hannah over to a couch. "Clint only told me a little bit about what's going on, but I gather you two are in some trouble because of Steve?" Laura said easily, sitting down next to Hannah on the couch. Hannah nodded, feeling unaccountably shy all of a sudden.
"I am so, so sorry, to intrude, I never thought Clint meant for us to come here, that here even existed," Hannah began, her words tumbling over each other earnestly. Laura shook her head. "Don't worry about it, you have a baby, you needed a safe place to stay, I would never turn you away," Laura comforted her, "Besides, Clint can act like a hard-ass all he wants, but he's a great big softie when it comes to kids." Hannah let out a nervous chuckle and glanced down at Alex again. When she looked up, she could see Laura staring at her neck, at the vivid bruising and injury there.
"Look, there is a lot we all could talk about right now, but I think the best thing to do would be to get you two into your room, and into bed," Laura's voice was even softer now and Hannah sagged in relief.
"Thank you, thank you so much," she said over and over again as Laura helped her get her bags up the pleasantly creaky stairs to the second floor. She pushed into what had to be a guest room, with a little ensuite bathroom, and Hannah smiled at the playpen set up at the foot of the cozy double bed.
"Oh god, thank you," Hannah blurted out, finally smiling at Laura, "It'll be so nice to sleep without worrying about rolling on him." Laura laughed, a very pleasant sound, and pointed out a few amenities before leaving them. Hannah made quick work of changing Alex and laying him in the playpen. She proceeded to open the bedroom window, a light, sweet-smelling breeze blowing in on the early night air. She changed out of her clothes, into the shorts and t-shirt pajama set she'd brought for herself, and lay on the bed. This was even better than the hotel room. She felt very safe here, like she was in another dimension or something. It was very unexpected, and very welcome, and very…
Hannah fell asleep.
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Laura was waiting in the kitchen for her the next morning, stirring up a giant pot of porridge. Her kids were zipping around in the yard outside. In the distance Hannah could hear something that sounded like a mower going. "Morning," Hannah said quietly, smiling at Laura. Laura smiled back. "Good morning," she replied kindly, before walking over and scooping up Alex from Hannah's arms.
Hannah froze for a moment, uncertain with how he might react, but Alex just smiled at Laura and cried, "Hi! Hi! Kitty?"
"Grab some coffee, I'll get him settled," Laura offered. Hannah nodded gratefully and moved to the other side of the kitchen. She found cream and sugar on the counter next to the carafe of coffee and a little row of hanging mugs. She began to mix it all together, watching as Laura plopped Alex into a high chair and tucked a bib around his neck expertly before giving him a plastic dish of sweetened porridge and a sippy cup of juice. By the time Hannah came to sit next to Alex at the table, his entire face and head were covered in porridge, but he was happy.
Laura set another bowl down in front of Hannah before taking a seat across the table from her. "I hope you don't mind, but I couldn't wait to talk to you today so I grilled Clint for information last night," Laura opened matter-of-factly, "You don't know me at all, but now I pretty much know everything about you that Clint knows." Hannah surprised herself by laughing.
"I guess that's fair, he spent all day yesterday, him and Sam, grilling me about every last thing that has happened since SHIELD fell," Hannah told her. She felt drugged with calm; the sound of Laura's children laughing outside was soothing her more than she thought possible.
"You know that Sam is going to tell Steve you're here today, right?" Laura told her carefully, tilting her head to watch Hannah's reaction. Hannah wilted the slightest bit and stared down at her coffee. "I suppose that's best," Hannah muttered, "I guess I'll have to face the music."
"Oh, no one is telling him about Alex," Laura interjected seriously, laying a hand on the table between them, "I think it's been decided that's absolutely your job." Hannah licked her lips, wondering why she felt guilty, after almost two years of feeling certain that not telling Steve was the absolute right choice.
"Between you and me, I likely would've done the same thing," Laura confided, turning to look out the window, "But we'd already had our son by the time Clint joined SHIELD."
"Was it hard?" Hannah asked awkwardly, "Giving everything up, leaving your life behind to hide?" Laura smiled gently and shook her head, and then shrugged a little. "Well, at first it was a struggle, I missed my parents, but we've managed to make it work, seeing them in neutral places a couple times a year," Laura explained, "We are isolated out here, but I love the farm, I grew up on a farm, so going without things like computers and cell phones isn't a stretch for me, and the kids don't know any different. Marrying Clint and moving into obscurity went hand in hand."
Hannah scooped up a few mouthfuls of her porridge, enjoying the thick sweetness of it. She didn't know the first thing about farming, and she hated insects, so she knew this would certainly never work for her. And no computers? No Netflix? No cell phones? She thought in mild horror, certain she could never handle the loss of those things. Alex crowed happily from his seat then, upending his nearly empty bowl on top of his head, and she sighed, taking the bowl away and smiling helplessly at him.
"I could do it for Alex," Hannah said, almost without thinking, "But honestly, Steve doesn't mean anything to me, you know? It was so long ago, and so brief, the only real and lasting thing to come out of it is Alex."
"Isn't Alex enough reason to go through with it?"
"To marry Steve? Are you kidding? I can't marry a near stranger just because we share a kid!"
Laura laughed. "No one's suggesting you marry Steve, in fact I would recommend that if you two ever do decide to take anything anywhere, that you do it slowly and carefully," Laura explained, "But I meant more, this life, for Alex's safety, that's enough, right?"
"You don't think I'll ever get to go back to my regular life, do you?" Hannah asked, sadly. Laura sighed and shook her head.
"I'm no expert, I'm really not, but I asked Clint the same thing and he really doesn't seem to think so," Laura told her quietly. Hannah swallowed. "I've got $5000 cash in my purse upstairs, how does that support a secret life for Alex and me for the rest of our lives?" She asked reasonably. Laura shrugged, a half smile on her face.
"Sounds like something you'll need to discuss with Steve," Laura answered. Hannah sighed. "And when will that be?" Hannah asked.
"Probably tomorrow," Clint's voice came from behind her and Hannah jumped about a foot. "Sorry," he apologized, "Laura's always saying I need to walk heavier at home."
"Leave the assassin shit at the office, I always say," Laura said laughing. She got up to embrace her husband and Hannah looked away. A small childish part of her wanted to stay here in the Bartons' care forever, safe and protected and understood. The larger part of her was still flinching at every noise and wanted nothing more but to grab Alex and hide in a cave to keep him safe.
She spent the rest of the day not doing very much of anything – she brought Alex outside, where Clint's kids had a field day playing with him in the wavy grasses out front of the house. She took a nap in a hammock when Laura insisted it was alright. Alex was filthy and exhausted by dinner and kept falling asleep in his food, and Hannah herself found the fresh air and lack of stress exhilarating and she was ready to crash as soon as the sun began to set.
When she lay in bed that night, listening to the far off murmurs of Clint and his wife talking downstairs, and the nearby whistle of Alex snoring, Hannah tried to mentally prep herself for seeing Steve again. For explaining to him that he had a son. A son she had knowingly, and purposefully, hidden from him. Her stomach tightened in anxiety at the thought.
She had a fitful sleep that night, and by the next morning, she was so tired that she could hardly function. Laura and Clint took pity on her and Laura offered to load Alex into his baby Bjorn and take him out berry picking with her kids, at the back of the property – a little swell of nervousness rose in Hannah's stomach, but she trusted the Barton's, she had to, and after an encouraging smile from Clint, she nodded.
When the family had left, she was in the house alone. It was relaxing but also strange. Her muscles ached and she went upstairs, deciding that she needed to take a long, hot shower to loosen them up. When she'd stripped down in the bathroom, she paused in front of the mirror and winced at the sight of her skin. It was no wonder she was so sore, and no wonder Clint and Laura kept glancing at her in worry. Her neck and throat were a vivid sunrise of bruises ranging from black to blue to purple to red to pinks. She had large disturbing hand-shaped bruising on each shoulder as well, from when James had grabbed her, as well as bruising on her upper arms as a result of James and the cops each grabbing her there.
She was transfixed by the battered sight of all the bruises and shook her head. The shower was needed, and she spent a good long time under the hot spray, letting the water beat down on her next and shoulders, drumming steadily onto her head so all she could hear was the comforting shushing of the water. Afterwards, she stepped out and brushed her teeth before winding her damp hair up into a towel and wrapping another about her body. She rubbed the fog off the mirror and saw that her skin was pink and flushed and clean, but still littered with the angry bruises.
Some things a long shower just can't wash away, she thought in chagrin. She stepped out into her bedroom, and began to dig through the little pile of clothes that Laura had provided her with, when there was a knock on her door.
"I'll just be one minute!" She called back, but the door pushed open immediately and there stood Steve.