Chapter 2: Momento Mori

It was nearly one in the morning. The thick scent of curry still lingered in the air even hours after the meal had been put away and cleaned up. MOMO had retired to bed, with Alby in tow. Juli had also went to her bedroom for the night about an hour and a half ago. Ziggy had returned to his own room as a temporary sleeping arrangement had been made there, at least until they had more time to find something proper. Juli had offered to share her bed with him for the night, but he had adamantly refused saying it really wasn't necessary. He lay on the futon staring up at the ceiling, feeling very much like he had in days previously. It the silence, he found his mind wandering.

He could see the room, almost a little too clearly - another reminder that he wasn't exactly human. Large windows overlooked the city from high above. It was an apartment building. A glass dinner table took up much of the space in the room. He was seated in a chair positioned next to a sofa. "I'm sorry to be such trouble. I never wanted to get you so involved."

"Oh, don't apologize." He looked up then and he could clearly see her face. Her skin was light and her hair was light and wavy and her eyes a vibrant green. "It's a doctor's job to oppose the development of new drugs."

"I'm sorry." He'd muttered. He remembered how nervous and unsure he felt.

"There, apologizing again." She laughed lightly and then came closer to him sitting on the dining room chair. It was her apartment, and suddenly could almost recall every detail in perfect clarity. "Listen, all humans are caught up in something bigger than themselves. It's up to each individual to decide what to do. You don't just... spread trouble wherever you go."

"I'm sorr… wait, no… I apologize too much, sorry. Ah, no, I did it again…" He stammered and placed his palm to his face. He could almost feel his cheeks growing hot with embarrassment. It was as if he was trying to tell himself to calm down.

"You know what?" She spoke up again and she was leaning in closer. It wasn't helping his anxiety and he leaned backward stiffly, swallowing hard. He looked at her questioningly.

She was smiling at him again. He could remember how her eyes squinted as she smiled. It felt so genuine and he remembered how it made him want to smile too. "You're a gentle person. But you're afraid of hurting people who are close to you. It's as though something horrible happened, and you shut off your heart."

Ziggy shot up and grimaced, feeling as if he had been physically transported to another time. There had been instances all along where memories would resurface. They usually came in flashes, other times in a slow trickle, only after some event or conversation had triggered them. Sometimes he would dream about the past, but it would come in fragments: a face, lost details, the sound of a laugh, an emotion that felt far too distant to fully grasp or articulate. Never, since he woke up in Ziggurat Industries laboratory over a century ago, had his memories came back in such full force.

Realizing sleep would be impossible, he left the room and found the kitchen. Turning on the faucet, he poured himself a glass of water and downed it quickly before rinsing it off and setting it aside. He started back toward his room when noticed that both Juli and MOMO were sleeping in their respective rooms. His hand lingered over the door controls, but he never entered the combination. He looked back toward the room, it was dim, slightly illuminated only by the the window. He could remember standing near a similar window shortly after they had arrived at the Dammerung six years ago. He couldn't sleep well for nights after they'd returned from Michtam. Those memories haunted him, seeing that place again which tormented his dreams for far too long. He couldn't stop thinking about Canaan, or rather Lactis, how if he had only known, maybe...

He could feel his thoughts drifting again as he stood by the window and he shook them off. Instead, he kept his sensors tracked on Juli and MOMO while trying to learn more about his operating system and all of the new functions that he wasn't quite accustomed to yet. At least this seemed to be taking his mind off the memories he'd rather not dredge up.

All was well until he started to feel uncomfortable and he felt the constant desire to shift his weight. Checking his internal clock, he'd realized he was standing entirely still for nearly forty minutes going through menu screens and readouts. He remembered in his previous body, he could stand in one place entirely still for days if needed. Although the need ever arised and he never had enough idle time on his hands to just stand there to find out how long he could withstand it just because. He realized the sofa would be a lot more comfortable.

Resigning to a more comfortable location he sat down and continued to familiarize himself with everything he could find, changing his vision from night, to daylight, fluorescent lighting, dim light, bright light, he found himself wondering why options such as "sepia" or "inversion" were even necessary. By now an hour and a half had passed and he'd shifted positions again, leaning his elbow against the armrest. His vision blurred and he stared straight ahead toward the dark screen of the RMN console.

"Well… without apologizing, will you let Joaquin and I look out for you?" It was as if her voice could nearly cut through the silence in the room. He blinked again and rubbed at his eyes. He tried to refocus his attention, maybe if he remembered something more recent, it would drown out the more distant memories.

"Doctor Mizrahi..." He'd protested. "Do you really believe it's safe to attend the Federation committee meeting alone? Given the current situation I'd rather-"

"Don't be silly, Jan." Juli waved him off before placing her hand on her hip. "It's not like I'm flying halfway across the galaxy to some shady remote run down dock colony. It's two buildings over and Doctus will be there. Why don't you spend the afternoon with MOMO? It's been some time before she's enjoyed herself. Here." She reached into her purse and pulled out a credit card. "Go treat her to ice cream or a movie or something. She'd probably really like that, coming from you." She pressed the card into his right hand and smiled.

"But Doctor Mizrahi—" Ziggy looked down at the card and then back at her.

"No buts." Juli shook her head. "And can you just please stop calling me doctor? I thought we were on a first-name basis by now." Juli frowned at him.

"I'm only concerned with your safety." He didn't want to easily drop the subject.

"I appreciate your concern, but it will be fine." Juli shook her head. "When was the last time you've relaxed?"

Ziggy stared at her coldly as he tried to think about the last time he'd allowed himself to feel even the slightest bit at ease. "I-"

"I thought so. Look, let me look after you for once." Juli insisted.

"...Day and night?" It seemed as if suddenly his memories ceased to have any coherency, faces, images and voices blending.

"...Yes, please do."

Ziggy suddenly snapped out of his trance and rubbed at his eyes again. Growing frustrated. he picked up the remote control to the console and turned it on. The volume was down low and he began flipping through channels, most were static. The first thing he managed to find was an advertisement program about a foam-covered wire that could be wrapped around storage bags to keep the contents fresh. "Ban-noodle!" The man on the screen exclaimed after demonstrating a bag full of colored water with and without the product.

"You're up late." He heard a voice come from the doorway, and he almost thought that his mind had begun to wander. Ziggy turned his head and found Juli standing at her door in a long shirt and a pair of comfortable pants.

"I was having difficulty falling asleep." Ziggy explained flipping the channel again. "I was trying to find something to help clear my mind."

Juli walked over to him and sat down beside him. "It's the new body, isn't it?"

"Yes." He rubbed at his eyes again, finding it difficult to visually focus. In his former body, when he needed to focus his vision, he just usually needed to adjust his sensory output. He wasn't sure if this body was lacking that functionality or he just didn't know how to do it.

"Infomercials, huh?" Juli smiled at him. "I'd have never thought."

"It appears to be the only thing broadcasting at this hour." Ziggy flipped the channel again to a channel guide in hopes that there might be something interesting. As the channel listing scrolled by, a video of a man dramatically dropping an oversized bowl of pasta on the floor began playing.

"I can't seem to escape this."
"It seems not." Juli stifled a laugh. "When I can't sleep I take a hot bath, drink some tea and read a novel. Maybe something like that might help you."

"Juli, can I be honest with you for a moment?" Ziggy turned off the display screen and set the remote down on the end table.

"Sure, what's on your mind?" She leaned toward him and propped her elbow on the backrest of the sofa.

"After our next mission is complete, I'd... like to return to my old body indefinitely." He frowned and his eyes looked away from hers. He knew how excited she was to agree to using a carbon-based body. She and everyone else had only been suggesting it for the better part of the last eight years.

"Is it because of the sensations?" Juli's tone changed. "Maybe there's some way we can dull them. I'd hate to have you cooped up in your room by yourself."

"It's not just that." Ziggy shook his head. "I admit, it's a little difficult to adjust to, but I'd had become a little more accommodated to that in the last few years. The problem is, my memories seem to be returning somehow, in more clarity. Perhaps when I told you I'd begun to move beyond my past, it might have been a lie. I don't know. If I let myself become unfocused, my mind keeps going back to them..."

"Who?" Juli asked, placing her hand on his arm.

"My wife and son." Ziggy looked away, shamefully. He thought that Juli's touch would fall away at that moment, but it remained and she slid herself closer to him.

"I'm not sure, but it may be due to the condition of your brain in this body. In your old body, your memories were fragmented and you couldn't make much sense of them, right?"

"Yes." Ziggy nodded.

"We don't understand too much about human consciousness." Juli began. "But... from what I do know, our consciousness is intrinsically linked to our brains. It's almost like a recording device. They say the subconscious remembers everything, but the consciousness tends to forget. Instead of your former brain interpreting your memories in fragments and static, it's being transferred through a brain that hadn't been irreparably damaged, so maybe this is why your memories are clearer. I can understand why it would so overwhelming."

"Perhaps." Ziggy said. "Still, I'd rather not have the constant reminder of my past failures."

"Sometimes when I lay in bed alone at night, I think about Joachim and Sakura. I keep asking myself 'what if'. What could I have done differently? What could I have done to prevent the past from happening." Juli leaned her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. "To be honest, there hasn't been a day that goes by where I don't think of them. When I start feeling that way, I think about the life I have now and I realize that things didn't turn out so bad after all. Maybe... they might even be happy for me."

"Do you think... if they could see me, they'd be happy?" Ziggy asked. He pressed his cheek into the top of her head.

"I think so." Juli said. "You've come a long way from the cyborg I hired eight years ago." Juli pulled away and sat up straight. "If you want to change bodies, I'm sure that can be arranged, but give it some time. Maybe those memories will start to subside. At least come along for the mission to Zaranya. I'll talk to the lab tomorrow after the meeting and see if there's not some kind of inhibitor or something we can put you on for the time being."

"I'll give it time." Ziggy nodded. "But if it continues as it has been... I'm sorry..."

"I understand." Juli nodded. "Well, it's late. I should probably be going back to bed." She looked over at him again and she noticed a slight, but familiar expression. She hadn't seen it in some time, but she recognized it immediately as the look he'd give her when he was about to ask for something he didn't feel he had the right to ask. "What, what's wrong?"

"Juli, I." Ziggy looked down. "Ah, how do I say this?" He looked back up at her again. "A moment ago when you said you'd think of your late husband and Sakura while alone at night... I was wondering if... perhaps—ah." He looked away.

"You want me to keep you company?" Juli smiled.

"Yes—uh. Something like that. If it's not too much trouble..." Ziggy looked askance, until Juli walked away into her bedroom. She returned a moment later bringing pillows and blankets and draped them onto the sofa. "Really, if it's too much trouble… I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

"No, really." Juli wrapped herself in one of the blankets while handing him the other.

"It's fine. I could use your company as well."

It was almost noon and everyone was gathered within the familiar RMN planning board room. It was located within the offices of the Vector building. Even though Vector was technically now property of Scientia, Doctus had decided to keep the same name to help ease the transition over to the new network. This was the room they had spent several hours planning and delegating tasks during the initial formation of the RMN. Now, they used it weekly for the similar purposes rather than daily. Lately, the meetings had been primarily focused on bringing parts of the Federation back on line, re-establishing gates, and reconnecting the planets in each sector they encountered.

Doctus stood at the end of the table. MOMO, Juli, Ziggy, Miyuki, Togashi, along with several members of both Scientia and Vector were seated in the room.

When everyone was seated, Doctus began the meeting. "Our agenda for today is to discuss our next step in implementing the RMN. As of our last meeting, we've reconnected with twenty-seven planets within three sectors. I realize this doesn't sound like much, but as we continue, we will begin gaining more momentum within the upcoming months and years. Ideally, the RMN should be active within the remainder of the Federation within approximately two years, give or take a few months."

Doctus pressed a button at her console and brought up several images and documents for display. She focused in on the first one, a map of the region of space they were currently in.

"We are currently located here." She pointed to a small dot on the map. "In twenty-eight hours, we'll be within range of Zaranyan space. It's a planet on the farther reaches of the Old Miltia region, about eight light years from Zavarov. Zaranya was terraformed approximately forty-five years ago. Most of the work on the planet had been done by realians. A company known as Realiwave Labs Inc. set up a Realian manufacturing laboratory here. Many of their realians were used for tasks such as terraforming, and the military, but later were suited to many other tasks. Eventually realians became a very big business on this particular planet. However, it was also a tourist location, noted for scenic mountain getaways and expansive beachfront hotels and casinos. Prior to the collapse of the UMN, there were about four million people living on the planet, and roughly ten thousand realians living and working here."

Doctus paused for a moment, scanning the faces of everyone in the crowd, ensuring that the information had sunken in. "Now, here is where it gets interesting. Our initial surveys of this planet revealed a few facts. We've only detected less than eight-hundred thousand human life signs on this planet and, even more strange, less than one hundred realian life signs. Aerial scans revealed that there is evidence of conflict having taken place across the planet, namely in the six major cities. All of these cities have been either nearly leveled or abandoned. We found three cities, or rather, camps on the outskirts of a few of the old cities where most of the remaining human population is located. As far as the realians go, they appear to be widely scattered in small isolated groups and located far from human populations."

"I can understand the loss of human life, we've seen it a lot already on a lot of the planets we've visited." MOMO spoke up. "But… ten thousand down to less than a hundred realians? I don't understand! You said they were used in the military, right?"

"Some, but not all, or even most. The military realians were often shipped off to wherever they were needed immediately after manufacturing. It's not likely that many would reside on this planet, if they did remain here, they probably were stuck after the UMN collapse." Doctus said. "That's what makes this situation peculiar. It's likely the ones who lived here were anything from maids to more recreational occupations given the tourist nature of this planet."

"Beyond our usual routine jobs of setting up equipment and getting the network online, our job will also be to investigate what exactly happened here on this planet and try to figure out how and why all of these realians are either missing or dead."

Doctus looked around the room before bringing up another diagram."Here's the itinerary, we'll head down to the planet in three teams. Each team will handle setting up the network equipment within proximity of each of these camps. Because we don't know the situation on-ground, so it is imperative that each of the nodes is positioned out of view should they be found."

"Once the ground teams have completed this task, we'll work on getting the base functionality of the network online, as per usual. In the mean time, I'd like the three teams to head into the camps and try to blend in, investigate and figure out what happened. The Federation convoy will be arriving about eight to twelve days after we arrive to supply both humanitarian aid and additional supplies. Because of the supply situation on Second Atlas, it's going to take a bit longer than normal, but this should provide us with enough time to do a full investigation. Each of the teams will need to dress in civilian clothes, and I'd recommend dirtying them up a bit before heading into the camps. You'll each be provided with enough med kits and rations to last for the duration of this mission."

"Miyuki, you'll be with me. We're going to head to the eastern encampment closer to the beaches." She pointed out the location on the map. "Terry and Micheal, You'll head to the Northwest camp adjacent to the mountain range." A woman with long dark hair in a barrette nodded. Her assigned partner was seated next to her, a darker skinned man with long brown wavy hair and a beard.

Doctus looked toward Ziggy then."That leaves MOMO and Ziggurat- Ziggy, Jan whatever you're called now, you'll go to the Southern camp. This one appears to be in closer proximity to an isolated group of realians. Instead of investigating the camp there, I'd like you to head toward this realian group and get any information you can from them. Before heading out, I'd like the two of you to check in with the other teams to ensure it will be safe, in case this was a realian against realian conflict. However, given the proximity these remaining realians keep from the human encampments, this is unlikely to be the cause."

She looked over at Ziggy again and he stared back at her, unsure as to her exact line of vision. "Tell me, is that little program MOMO added to your OS working?"

"Yes, why?"

"You might want to use it. If situation down there is indeed hostile toward realians, it will be safer if you are able to blend in on the off-chance you do encounter any humans on the planet."

"What about MOMO?" Ziggy asked.

"She'll need to be careful, this is why it's imperative that both of you find the realians as soon as possible. I would recommend cosmetic adaptations, contact lenses, temporary hair color, We don't want to put two of our finest at risk, but you're both best suited for this part of the operation."

"I'm assuming I'll be taking care of the usual?" Juli commented.

"Yes, you'll be with the team on board the Voluntas monitoring progress and setting up the remote RMN internlink commands as per the usual."

The next two days passed fairly quickly. MOMO spent most of her time working on bug fixes and further code implementations that would eventually be added to the RMN. Her work came first, and was a distraction from thinking about what the upcoming mission. At first, they seemed exciting and promising. She was excited to bring some semblance of normalcy back to the people they'd encountered. Fortunately for her, the first two or three planets they had visited seemed to fare well after the UMN collapse. The people had worked together and managed, somehow, to survive and thrive without relying upon communication and travel to outside worlds. It was a reflection of how her life had previously been on the Dammerung. Yet, as more planets were contacted, she'd discovered that more and more people didn't fare quite as well. War, turmoil, starvation, disease and death were beginning to look far more commonplace.

MOMO didn't consider herself to be a pessimist. She took pride in being able to help others look at the brighter side of any situation. Others, such as Ziggy seemed to be more realistic and often more pragmatic. It wasn't that she didn't understand the importance of seriousness or planning for the worst possible outcome. She only chose not to concentrate too much of her emotional energy on such tasks.

Ziggy on the other hand, hadn't changed much since he'd taken on his new body. MOMO found it amusing at times how he'd refuse something for comfort, only to give in eventually when he found himself growing in his discomfort to the point where it had become unbearable. He and Juli had been out the afternoon after the meeting to return to the Vector realian lab. Her mother had mentioned something about him needing a neural inhibitor. She didn't quite know why, but she could take a guess at the reason. The three of them had went out together that night, namely to find new clothes for Ziggy.

"I'm not sure why you believe I need all of these." He said as Juli handed him a pile of clearanced t-shirts in his size. "Really, I don't require this many. Won't these standard Realian clothes suffice after this mission?"

"No." Juli waved him off. "Oh look, these pants are fifty percent off with an extra fifteen when you buy three or more."

"I don't need…" Ziggy protested, as five pairs of pants were tossed into his arms.

"Don't worry, I'm paying for it." Juli smiled.

MOMO returned carrying a few items in her arms with a huge smile on her face. "I found these for you, Ziggy. I think you'll like them!" She presented a navy blue hooded sweater with blocked designs in black and grey and a pair of slippers.

"Thank you MOMO, but-" Ziggy began, but before he could even consider continuing, he could sense the beginning of a pout forming. He held out his arms with the pile of clothing. "Add it to the rest."

"Oh, we certainly can't forget about these!" Juli tossed a five pack of boxer shorts onto the pile. "Hmm, wait, do you want boxers or boxer-briefs? We're not getting you briefs."

"I-" Ziggy stared at her and the packs of underwear. 'I don't…" He nearly sighed. "Whichever you think is best." Both packs were piled on top, followed by two packs of socks.

"What else do we need?" Juli said looking at the growing pile of clothing that Ziggy was having great difficulty holding. "We should probably get you some shoes… maybe a hat."

"A hat?" Ziggy narrowed his eyes at her.

"No… on second thought…" Juli laughed. "Let's get you some shoes and get out of here."

Before she'd realized it, they were boarding the Voluntas. The ship was known as Scientia's flag ship, and had been used for transportation from the Dammerung to the planets they were travelling to. Beyond being used for transportation, it also housed members of the crew who would often stay on board. They'd only been on board for about two hours when it was time to disembark on the shuttlecrafts toward Zaranya.

MOMO stood next to a window and looked out over the planet. From where she stood, the planet seemed to glow a golden color. She wondered if it would look the same from the surface or if the sky was entirely different. Checking one last time, she made sure she had everything. She was wearing a jacket and a pair of pants, something she wasn't entirely used to, the colors were muted and less vibrant than she preferred. The garments she wore were roughed up, fraying and dirtied in parts, leaving her feeling uncomfortable and a bit out of her element. Her hair had been temporarily dyed a dark brown color and she wore blue contact lenses in an attempt to cover her amber eyes. As she searched through her luggage checking for all the important articles for the trip, she realized her mother and Ziggy were approaching.

Juli smiled at MOMO once she came closer. She was walking alongside Ziggy and was holding a few extra bags. Ziggy himself was loaded down with supplies needed for the trip, likely some of the equipment itself, MOMO thought. The rest of the larger items had probably already been loaded into the shuttlecrafts.

"You almost look like you'll blend in well there." Juli commented, looking MOMO up and down.

"Almost?"

"You'll want to mess up your hair a little."

"Oh… yeah. I guess I forgot about that." She quickly ran her hands through her hair, messing it up as much as she could. When she was done, she looked over at Ziggy for approval. His clothing was also dirty and tattered, but his hair was as it usually was, a combed back solid mass. "You too, Ziggy." She pointed at him and smiled.

"What?" He looked at her and then again at Juli.

Juli dropped the bags she was carrying and roughed her hands through his hair pulling strands loose and causing static. "There. You look like a regular hobo now."

"...Thanks." He shot Juli a dissatisfied look before turning his attention to MOMO. "Do you have everything?" He asked.

"I think so." MOMO nodded.

"The med kits?" He asked.

"Yep." MOMO Nodded.

"Do you have the communication devices?"

"Yeah, right here!" She patted the messenger bag around the shoulder. "I also have the rations and the. I also brought some sunglasses, err… just in case I lose my contact lenses." She hadn't had the time to add such a program to herself, and although she had been given clearance by Scientia, she was hesitant to add any modifications to her own programming. She was as her father had designed her to be after all.

Juli tugged at Ziggy's arm. "You brought the extra medication right, just in case?"

"Yes, I have it." Ziggy assured her. "If that's everything we should be on our way."

Juli nodded at him and then turned toward MOMO. They were standing face to face and she tucked a strand of fluffy brown hair behind her ear. "You be safe, alright? Remember, once you're done setting up the equipment, head straight to where the other realians were sighted."

"I will, mom." MOMO nodded and smiled. "I promise I'll do my best!"

Juli leaned in and placed a kiss on MOMO's forehead and she stepped away turning toward Ziggy. "You take care of yourself too. If there's any trouble I want you to contact us immediately."

Ziggy nodded at her and as he was about to pick up the equipment he had set on the ground beside him, Juli pulled him down toward her and pressed her lips against his briefly before pulling away. "I'll see you soon." Juli told him.

"Try not to worry." Ziggy assured her. "We'll see you again soon."

The two continued on the way toward the boarding dock. MOMO was the first to enter, but not before looking back at her mother and giving her a smile and wave. Ziggy followed and nodded once toward Juli and then entered. He took the co-pilot's chair while MOMO typed away at the navigational panels. "Everything is online and ready to go." She said.

"All right." Ziggy nodded. "Let's head to our assigned destination."

"Coordinates are plotted in" MOMO hit the last series of commands needed before launching and a moment later, the shuttlecraft was on its way toward the planets' atmosphere. It would only be a few minutes until they arrived at their designated landing spot. "You know, Ziggy. It's really great that we'll be able to spend some time together. It's going to almost be like camping!"

"This is a dangerous assignment, MOMO." Ziggy spoke up, looking at his own set of command screens. "Letting your guard down could put you and the others involved in this mission in serious jeopardy."

MOMO frowned and hung her head slightly. "I know… It's just that… ever since we've been travelling, contacting other planets... and ever since your old body stopped functioning properly we've just not spent much time together. Even if it is dangerous… I was just looking forward to it, that's all. It might even be like old times, in a way."

Ziggy was silent for a short moment, only the sound of the engine running could be heard. MOMO began to feel her heart sink slightly, but then he finally spoke up. "I'm looking forward to spending some time with you as well. If we are able, let's try to enjoy it."

MOMO's disposition brightened and she smiled at him. In his own way, he nearly seemed to mirror something similar.