Author's note: So did I mention this whole work was originally only supposed to be 2000 words long and a single chapter at first? Then it was supposed to finish with this chapter. *laughs hysterically* It's taking over my life! Anyway, if anyone is wondering why it took so long, that is why. I was trying to find a way to finish it. Then I gave up and admitted that there is going to be at least another chapter. So, enjoy..
Grantaire had Enjolras situated in his bed and it had to be admitted that he looked very well there. He had to take a moment to admire him. He felt a tension he had been carrying in his shoulders since the barricade release now that he had Enjolras safe and secure. Now that he could be sure that his love would not be harmed. But really, Grantaire didn't have time for this self-indulgent appreciation; he had preparations to make to be ready for when Enjolras awoke.
The first thing he did was to secure the windows and doors of the house as well as the gate which lead out on to the street. He was not delusional; he knew that Enjolras would be angry when he awoke, that he would want to escape. He would come to be happy here Grantaire hoped. After all, he only had to ask for something and Grantaire would do his best to provide it.
Secondly, he went to attend to Enjolras. The revolutionary had a wound on his forehead from where he had been knocked unconscious which Grantaire took great care in cleaning and bandaging. As he unbound Enjolras' wrists he saw that they had been chafed raw by the rough rope that had been used and Grantaire felt sick in his stomach as he repeated the same process of cleaning and bandaging. Besides these injuries Enjolras had faired rather well considering the vicious fighting that had taken place.
After having cleaned up the water and bandages Grantaire was caught in a dilemma. Enjolras would surely be hungry when he awoke and Grantaire wished to have something to offer him. However, in order to prepare something he would have to leave his Apollo alone. Grantaire did not want to do that as he would surely be disorientated when he awoke and he did not wish for him to be alarmed or even frightened. He compromised by simply taking some bread and cheese from the kitchen and bringing it up to the master bedroom. He wished that he had something better to offer but he could not spare the time. He relocked the bedroom door before he settled into a chair by the bed to wait and fell to contemplating the divine visage before him.
It was sometime before Enjolras showed signs of stirring. His forehead crumpled only slightly but Grantaire caught the movement immediately and moved to grasp Enjolras' hand.
"Enjolras? Enjolras, can you heard me? Are you well?" Enjolras' eyes flickered open and after a moment focused on Grantaire. He tried to speak but could not manage more than a dry croak.
"Of course, you require water. Forgive me, mon ange, I ought to have realised." Grantaire fumbled for the tumbler and jug set on the bedside table and shakily pour the water. He found he was very nervous now that he was confronted with actually facing Enjolras. Still he offered the cup to Enjolras carefully, tenderly, helping him to drink, careful not to tip the cup to far and spill water over him or make him choke. When Enjolras had drunk his fill he took the cup away and place it on the side.
"Grantaire, what…?" Enjolras trailed off, still looking confused.
"Shhh, it's alright, you're safe now. Don't worry, I have taken care of everything."
At this Enjolras' eyes suddenly regained their habitual clarity and he recognised in them the same fury he had seen at the barricade.
"You bastard. You traitor! You-!" Enjolras did not restrain himself as he had when first discovering his treachery at the barricade and launched himself at Grantaire, scratching and hitting anywhere he could reach. Grantaire feared that he would aggravate his head injury if he continued to move so violently and begged him to stop lest he harm himself.
"Please Enjolras, you will hurt yourself, please-" However, he made no move to restrain him, despite the physical ease with which he could do so.
His pleas were cut off when Enjolras pushed him backwards violently and he fell to the ground. He gazed up at his Apollo from where he had fallen and realised with a pang of anguish that Enjolras was crying.
"Dead," he sobbed, looking no less vicious in tears. "They're all dead because of you. Our friends are dead because of you!" Enjolras gave a cry that was in equal parts rage and sadness and marched towards the door, barely slowing when he reached it and starting in surprise when he found it locked. He slowly turned to Grantaire and looked upon him with livid eyes.
"Open the door Grantaire." This was uttered quietly, almost as if Enjolras' rage had surpassed the violence of shouting and was now concentrated into one small sentence which threatened to explode once again with the slightest provocation.
"No, forgive me. I cannot." said Grantaire, cringing at Enjolras' anger even as he pulled himself to his feet.
"You cannot." It was both a statement and a question, still spoken in that terribly level tone.
"No, I'm sorry Enjolras, truly I am. You cannot leave here, it would mean your death. If you are found you will be executed. I will not allow that to happen." This was, it seemed, the trigger that was necessary to set Enjolras back to shouting.
"You will not! You will not allow it! How dare you! What right have you to decide such a thing for me? What right have you to deny me my freedom? None! You have none! I demand that you release me this instant! I would rather risk death than remain your prisoner!" Grantaire had been slowly folding in on himself under the weight on Enjolras' tirade but at this last proclamation he rushed forward and grasped Enjolras' hands gently.
"No, you are not a prisoner Enjolras. Never! You have freedom of the house and garden and you may do whatever you wish. If you have need of or wish for anything you need only ask for it. Truly Enjolras, anything at all. I only wish to make you happy."
"Will you forcibly stop me if I attempt to leave?"
"I'm sorry; I must. You cannot die."
"Then I am a prisoner."
Enjolras was indeed given free reign of the house, although admittedly he was not permitted out into the garden without Grantaire to watch over him, despite the locked gate and high walls. He used this freedom to avoid Grantaire as much as he possibly could. To achieve this end he usually remained in his bedroom, which Grantaire would never enter without Enjolras' permission now that he was conscious to give it. Occasionally though he would come and sit in the parlour or would venture out into the garden, saying that the room was stifling him. The moments when he was allowed in Enjolras' presence were like heaven to the young man. He would take care not to disturb Enjolras' by staring at him too openly or being too loud. In fact, whenever he was present Grantaire sat very still and quiet and snuck glances at him whenever he could be sure that Enjolras wouldn't see and be bothered by it.
That's not to say that Grantaire was oblivious, however. Even in the midst of the ecstasy created by Enjolras' presence he could see that the revolutionary was unhappy and this caused Grantaire a great deal of anxiety. He seemed to somehow perpetually exist in a state of both joy and constant worry. Everyday the worry became stronger and the joy weaker. Enjolras would do little more than stare off into space and frown. It was not difficult to see where his thoughts took him. Most days Grantaire could barely convince him to eat some small morsel of food and drink a little water; Enjolras would take nothing stronger.
Grantaire desperately tried offering him more and more appealing dishes and fine wines. He offered books that he knew Enjolras used to enjoy, offered to buy new ones if that was what Enjolras wished. All of his attempts were resolutely ignored. This continued on and on as Grantaire despaired of what to do until one afternoon, an entire month after the barricade had fallen, when Enjolras had situated himself in the parlour having been unable to remain in the bedroom any longer.
It became obvious as Grantaire entered the room with a bowl of onion soup to offer to Enjolras that the revolutionary was painfully thin and clearly unwell. He was seated by the window, staring at the wall without really seeing it. The light that streamed in threw the sharp angles of his face and body into relief, drawing attention to his emaciated state. Grantaire hesitantly approached the chair in which Enjolras had placed himself.
"Enjolras? I have some soup for you. Do you think you could manage to eat it?" Enjolras continued to stare at the wall without acknowledging Grantaire.
"Please, Enjolras. You must eat."
"Must I?" His voice was listless, as though he could not even bring himself to be angry anymore. Grantaire was horrified. Surely that did not mean… Enjolras could not truly wish to die, at least not this way. Not when dying meant giving up. That could not be the reason so what was it?
"Please." Grantaire entreated, almost in tears knowing that Enjolras was upset and that he did not know how to help.
"No."
"At least tell me why not. Please Enjolras, at least that."
"Why not?," Enjolras laughed bitterly. "Because I choose not to. Because that is my choice; it is the only thing I have control over now." That was… a relief actually. Enjolras did not wish to die and this was something that he could fix. This was a way in which he could make Enjolras happy.
"If you had control again, complete control, would you then eat?"
"Perhaps. Although I fail to see how I could have any control when you refuse to allow me to leave." Enjolras said scornfully
"Me. Control me." Grantaire explained meekly.
"What?"
"Surely you must know that I would do anything you asked of me. Anything that doesn't bring you harm," Grantaire amended, realising the first statement was not entirely true. "I propose you do just that. Command me, control me, punish me for my transgressions against you and our friends if you will. I would submit to anything that would make you happy or give you some measure of satisfaction."
"Do anything? You would follow my orders, obey me? Why? When you have me captive and undoubtedly at your mercy, you would subvert our roles? I do not believe you."
"I would not harm you; not ever. My entire purpose in this convoluted plot has been to keep you from harm; that I have told you already. But there is more than that. I wish more than anything to please you, to have you be pleased with me. I always have. Did I not offer to black your boots once? I said it as if in jest I know but I knew then that I would be refused had I offered in seriousness, for you had better and brighter lieutenants. But now… now you have a reason to accept; as a reparation, as a chance at dealing out the justice that the law will not give, as a opportunity to regain the control you seem to think you have lost. Even simply because it pleases you to see me submit to your whim. Any of these reasons will suffice but please Enjolras, make use of me. I will beg if I must."
Enjolras looked upon this picture of contrition and found that in his anger he truly did wish to see the man suffer. He wished to punish him for his betrayal, to seek revenge for the friends he had lost, for the martyrdom taken from him. He internally preached to himself about the rights of man, the right to freedom and equality. What Grantaire was offering would subjugate him and Enjolras should not allow it. Even so, he asked himself, why should he uphold Grantaire's rights when his own have been taken from him? He had been given to Grantaire as though he were a possession, a reward for Grantaire's services to the Prefecture. He had been stripped of his own rights so was it not fair that he should do the same to his captor? In that moment he made his decision.
"Kneel."
Grantaire obeyed hurriedly, dropping to his knees by Enjolras' chair without hesitation. He was desperate to prove to Enjolras that he would obey, that he was eager to even.
"Now tell me again why you want this to happen."
"So that you will eat."
"And?"
"So that you have back the control that I have taken from you. So that you can punish me for my betrayal and because it will please you."
"Very well. You will go out today and get me the things that I require to punish you with. Bring me a pen, ink, and some paper and I will write you a list."
Grantaire retrieved the requested items from the desk and, after a moment of hesitation, knelt back down beside Enjolras to wait. When the list was completed it was handed back to Grantaire and Enjolras bid him leave.
Grantaire rose and was about to leave the room when he turned back timidly.
"Enjolras?," He waited for Enjolras to look at him in acknowledgement before continuing. "Will you… that is to say would you… eat now? Please? If the soup is not to your liking I will get something better, only please eat. Please?"
"The soup is fine." Enjolras picked it up and began to eat, albeit slowly.
"Thank you." Grantaire sighed relieved and almost grateful. He then left to acquire the items that had been requested but not without first checking the locks on the doors and windows and ensuring that he took the keys with him.
Enjolras spent the hours in which Grantaire was gone in contemplation. As soon as he was alone he had tried both doors and all the windows and found the locks to be solid and unbreakable. There was the option of breaking a window and trying to escape that way but he was unwilling to attempt that having seen the solid lock on the gate and the high, unclimbable walls of the garden. He would only wind up getting himself injured. It seemed he was entrapped here for the time being. Even that fate was beginning to seem more bearable. Yes, he grieved for his friends and the martyrdom that was taken from him, but Grantaire claimed that he was willing to give full control of himself to him. The truth of that remained to be seen but it wasn't entirely out of character for Grantaire, who seemed to be unhealthily fixated on him. However, this afforded him the perfect opportunity to avenge their deaths while at the same time regaining some measure of the control that had been taken from him.
He must admit to himself as well that he had enjoyed the sight of Grantaire on his knees before him. He has never before lied to himself and he will not allow himself to acquire the habit now. There had been something pleasing about seeing the man he had come to hate willingly debase himself before him. He knew that this form of vengeance was not something he would have dreamt of allowing before but now it seemed perfectly justified. What Grantaire had done had not been fair so neither would he be.
He intended to be harsh towards Grantaire, as proven by the implements he had sent him out to get. Such purchases would be difficult to explain he knew and he felt a thrill of pleasure at the though of Grantaire having to purchase them. The picture that presented was quite satisfying: Grantaire humiliated, buying the implements that would later be used to torment him, simultaneously embarrassed over the purchases and picturing the many ways in which they could be put to use.
He settled down to wait for Grantaire with thoughts of all the things he could do with the man once he had returned.
Grantaire had bought all but two of the items on Enjolras' list with various amounts of difficulty and embarrassment; embarrassment he had only managed to coach himself through with the thought that he was doing this for Enjolras and he must not disappoint him.
The last two items he had to acquire were more difficult and he had left them until last for this very reason. They were not something that he could acquire quickly without arousing suspicion from respectable vendors. Such things were usually made to order. If he was to have them today he would have to see someone much less reputable. Fortunately, he knew such a man. Such unfavourable contacts had been required to provide the guns and ammunition for the barricade.
Bertrand was not difficult to find if one knew where to look for him. It took Grantaire only three attempts to find the right darkened alley.
"Good day, Bertrand."
"Who're you?"
"Do you not remember? You sold me a fair amount of guns and powder about a month and a half ago."
Recognition lit in the mans eyes.
"Go away. I ain't selling to revolutionaries no more, s'to much bother with the police."
"Surely illegal arms already puts you in trouble with the police?"
"Yeah but after all that business with the barricade they started askin' questions 'round 'ere, di'nt they? Usually leave me be but after that they started takin' note."
"Well, you're safe with me my friend. It's not guns I want but something much less deadly. Nor am I a revolutionary anymore, if I ever was."
That admission still racked him with guilt but he took care not to let it show on his face. Bertrand considered him a moment but evidently found him satisfactory.
"What's it ya want then?"
"A bullwhip[1]. And a martinet[2]. I need them by today."
"Got an errant child 'ave ya? I can get 'em. It'll cost extra if ya want 'em so soon though."
Grantaire bristled and coloured at the implication. For Enjolras, you are doing this for Enjolras.
"Something like that."
"Well, come back here in an hour. I'll 'ave what ya want. For a considerable sum, o'course."
"You'll have your money. Thank you."
Grantaire departed. With nothing to do for an hour but wander his thought's turned to Enjolras once more. Being parted from his Apollo, even to do something he had been asked to by him, was making him very anxious. What if Enjolras had need of him and he was not there? What if he found himself in some sort of trouble and Grantaire could not aid him? Such thoughts tormented him. Still, he could not go back having disobeyed. He would stay obtain what Enjolras wished and then fly back to Enjolras' side as swiftly as he could when he had done so.
As for what awaited him when he returned, well, the items on Enjolras' list gave him an idea of what to expect. He accepted it as no more than his due and besides, what did his discomfort matter in the face of Enjolras' wishes? It was, he told himself, discomfort that he felt, that caused his stomach to flutter so. Discomfort and not anticipation. Anticipation would mean that his punishment would turn into something he would enjoy and that might upset Enjolras. He wasn't supposed to enjoy being punished. So it must be discomfort he is feeling.
He wandered thus until it was time to head back to the alley. Once he had received the whips and had handed over an extortionate amount of money for them, which he could not bring himself to protest since he was anxious to get home, he turned his footsteps back towards his residence. He took care to hide his purchases inside his jacket and not to walk to quickly so as not to draw attention. He would be back with Enjolras soon.
Grantaire returned to find Enjolras still in the same chair he had been when he had left. He found himself uncertain once again as to whether he should approach Enjolras or wait to be acknowledged first. He found himself hesitating in the doorway.
"You've returned." Grantaire made his way into the room at the acknowledgement, thankful the decision had been taken from him.
"Yes. I have what you asked for."
"Good." Such a simple word but how it made Grantaire's heart soar. Good. He done well, Enjolras was pleased. It was hardly a fervent commendation but still, it was more than he'd ever earned from Enjolras before.
"Is there anything else you would have me do?"
"Go to my bedroom, lay them out on the bed. Then take off your clothes and kneel next to it and wait for me."
"Yes, Enjolras."
Enjolras allowed around ten minutes to pass before he went up to join Grantaire. He was gratified to find Grantaire waiting exactly as he had instructed. He did not acknowledge the man but merely went to inspect the items on the bed. Surprisingly, Grantaire had managed to acquire all that he had asked for. He moved the items into one of the draws in a nearby chest of draws, leaving only the bullwhip and two lengths of rope on the bed.
"Go stand at the end of the bed." This order was still given without Enjolras actually turning to look at Grantaire and Grantaire burned under his indifference, even while doing as he was told.
The bed was a four-poster one, made of ornately carved mahogany and silk curtains. Enjolras hated it, as his did all indecent displays of wealth. They reminded him of the injustice in the world. That one man could live in such obscene luxury while another starved on the street. He had to admit though, the bed had at least one merit, it was ideally suited to tying someone to.
Enjolras secured Grantaire's arms above his head, one to each post at the end of the bed, so that his arms were stretched out but his feet were still firmly on the floor.
"You shall have eleven lashes, one for each of our friends who died because of you and one for your imprisonment of me. You will say one of their names for each lash. When you look at the scars I want you to remember how you betrayed them. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Enjolras."
With no further warning Enjolras brought the whip down viciously across Grantaire's back, immediately drawing blood and making the bound man cry out.
"Combeferre."
Another lash, another cry.
"Courfeyrac."
A strip of white hot pain right across his shoulders.
"Jehan."
Two in quick succession, identical diagonal lines crossing over each other.
"Bossuet. Joly."
A blindly hard strike underneath his ribs now.
"Bahorel."
Another swiftly administered on the other side to match.
"Feuilly."
Unexpectedly back at his shoulder, he felt tears on his face now.
"Gavroche."
Two more harsh strikes dealt together, he could hear Enjolras breathing harshly behind him now.
"Marius. Eponine."
The last one seemed the hardest somehow, though Enjolras put no more strength behind it than the others.
"You."
Enjolras dropped the bullwhip to the floor and stared at the sight before him, mesmerised. It was strangely thrilling to see this and know that he was the cause. To see Grantaire before him bleeding, because he willed it so, and to know that if he decided to continue now Grantaire would let him. Would probably thank him for taking the time to do so. He went to release Grantaire from his bonds and as the man fell back to his knees Enjolras noticed something.
"This arouses you?" he asked coldly, with an undercurrent of anger in his tone. Grantaire glanced down at himself and winced before looking back up at Enjolras with pleading eyes.
"I'm sorry, I should be able to control myself better I know, I'm so sorry."
"I don't think you should be gaining pleasure from being punished. What, was that why you offered to obey me? To gain some twisted sexual satisfaction? Disgusting."
"No please, you must believe me. I only want to please you, that is all. Please, let me make amends. I will do anything, please, only don't go back to ignoring me, don't." Grantaire's tears, barely ceased from the whipping, sprang free once more at the thought that he had disgusted Enjolras so much that the man might return to ignoring his presence and refusing food once more.
"You'll do anything anyway."
Grantaire did not deny the claim, merely knelt there crying and shaking, gazing up at Enjolras with pleading eyes. Eventually, Enjolras gave in with a sigh.
"Fine. You will not touch yourself though. It would not do for you to gain pleasure or relief from this. You will not touch yourself now, or ever, without my permission."
"Thank you," said Grantaire, overcome with relief and gratitude. He leant down and pressed a reverent kiss to Enjolras' boots. "Thank you, truly."
He then glanced up at Enjolras shyly and seemed to gather his courage.
"I know I do not deserve it but might I be permitted to bring you some relief?"
"What?"
"Please? I could be so good for you, I could do it so well." He nodded his head towards Enjolras' crotch. He hadn't realised at all but it seemed that he was just as aroused as Grantaire. What to do about that?
Some feedback on this would be massively appreciated since I switched to both their points of view and would like to know how well that's going down. Also if you have any question feel free to ask because I'm not completely satisfied with how I explained some of what E and R are feeling. Thanks for reading.
