Thunder roars across the graying sky as rain pelts down against his armor, soaking through to his underclothes and sending chills up his spine. He has to find her, no one can. He searched the library first, her favorite place, then her quarters. Dorian hadn't spoke to her since Adamant and Lelianas scouts say she ran off as soon as they made it to Skyhold.
It was a devastating battle and he saw it in her eyes how heavily it had weighed on her. He didn't know what happened in the Fade, only that it was too much for her. He walked the battlements fast, seeking the last spot he knew she had to be, the first time they kissed.
He couldn't help the smile that stretched across his face, feeling the rain water cool his heated breath. He remembered her soft lips meeting his hesitantly, deepening as he wrapped his arm around her thin waist and pulled her flush against his chest. The way her slightly minted breath mingled with his own, teasing his tongue to trace the soft contours of her plump lips.
Lightning flashed and most thunder pounded against the stone walls. He reached the top of the battlement, the highest point in Skyhold and saw her staring toward the sky, her robes clinging to her body and dripping with the rain that hadn't let up.
"Juliana!" He shouted her name over the thunder. She ignored him, not even bothering to turn around.
He approached her quickly, gripping her wrist gently and turning her towards him.
He could see the tears even with the rain pouring down her face. Her eyes were bloodshot and her face pale. He could feel her shivering and her skin was so cold, his heart quickened with his building worry.
"Juliana, its not safe up here. We should return before you catch a cold." He placed his hands on either side of her face, trying to warm her. She stared at him blankly, as though he said nothing at all.
"I couldn't save her." She whispered, and he almost couldn't hear her over the rain. "What do you mean, Julie?" He asked gently, unfastening his furs and draping them over her shoulders. They wouldn't do her much good, they were drenched as well, but he had to do something.
"I couldn't save Hawke!" She screamed, her voice cracking like the thunder above, fresh tears springing from her eyes. His heart ached for her, he didn't know what to do, how to help the woman he so desperately loved.
"I couldn't save her, Cullen, it… She…" She brought her hand to her mouth to stifle a choking sob. He wrapped his arms around her, gently guiding her head to his shoulder. "It's alright, darling, it is alright." He tried to soothe her, his own throat tightening with guilt that he could not save her from this pain.
"It isn't, Cullen, I could have done more, I could have… I…" He pulled her back, placing his hands back on her cheeks to stare into those violet eyes that always brought him comfort and security. He hoped his own could convey the same in this moment. "You did everything you could have." Running his thumb over her high cheekbone and the scar that ran down from her left eye.
"I'm here, Julie, and you're not alone in this." His brow bunched in concern, he wanted so much to take this weighing guilt from her and bear the burden for her.
"Cullen…" She whispered, and before she could spout more faults, he reached up, smoothing her soaked hair from her forehead and kissed her. Her lips were colder than the first time, and they trembled against his own, sending shivers down his own spine and his heart beat painfully in his chest. His hand moved to the back of her neck, pulling her closer to stop their quivering. She wrapped her arms around his neck, enjoying the warmth that always occupied him.
He broke the kiss too early for her liking, pressing his forehead to hers. "You needn't carry this on your own. I'm here." He whispered, kissing a gentle kiss to her nose, hoping to show the meaning of his words. Lightning flashed overhead, another roar racing across the clouds.
"Come, we should get you into something dry and by a fire. I'll make your favorite tea." He flashed his dashing smile and she nodded quietly, moving his arm about her waist and guiding her from the battlements.
She leaned heavily on him, the exhaustion from the past week finally taking toll and he was more than happy to bear the weight for her.
Please review, and thanks to all those who took the time to read my sappy, one-shots between the fantastic Commander Cullen and my F!Trevelyan Inquisitor. :)