Note: Chapter five, polished. A walk down memory lane, very fitting.
The Bodyguard and the Client
"Well, ain't this a fancy place?"
Kyouko gazed up at the Kaname family home, eyebrows nearly disappearing into her hairline, impressed. "I hope she lets me boss the chef around." A devious smirk lit up her face as a maid came out and greeted her. "Here's my ID and license," Kyouko shoved her wallet identification in the maid's face and brushed by her, idly wondering where the kitchen could be found.
Flustered, the maid nodded dubiously and led the bodyguard upstairs to Madoka's study, where the ever-stoic Homura dismissed the maid.
"Yo, Homura," Kyouko greeted Homura as she pulled out a packet of Pocky from her suit jacket.
Homura ignored Kyouko's lack of formality and cast a critical eye on Kyouko's appearance; she wore the standard black suit, though with a red dress shirt instead of a regular white one.
The color of Kyouko's dress shirt normally would not have warranted much attention, but this time it brought up memories of Kyouko's old Magus uniform.
Kyouko was going to kill Miki Sayaka—Tomoe Mami killing Kyouko—Kyouko accusing her of not caring about Madoka—Walpurgisnacht killing Kyouko—Kyouko carrying Miki's dead body—they were fighting witches together—Kyouko agreeing to go to school, only to die the next day—
"Earth to Akemi Homura! You checkin' me out or something?" Kyouko smirked but quickly grew concerned at Homura's lack of response and increasingly panicked expression. "Dammit, Homura-san? What's wrong?" she grabbed the frozen woman by the shoulders and shook her.
"Stop." Terse, Homura pried Kyouko's hands off of her. "Your shirt is not the usual white, Sakura-san," she said coldly, refusing to meet her eyes.
Confused, Kyouko shrugged, replying, "Well, as long as the suit's black, the color of the shirt and tie don't matter. You know that; heck, you're wearing a purple dress shirt!"
Instead of replying, Homura turned around and opened the study door. "Kaname-san," she bowed. Madoka looked up from the watercolors she was examining and beamed at her bodyguard.
"Homura-chan!" Then, noticing Kyouko standing behind Homura, she asked, "Is that your partner? Please, come in and make yourself at home, um…."
"Sakura Kyouko, Division C security agent—but I assure you, it's not a lack of experience and talent that's keeping me in Division C," Kyouko winked at Madoka, but the wink went unnoticed with Homura frozen in front of her. However, when Kyouko stepped around her, Madoka furrowed her forehead, wondering why Homura's partner looked so familiar.
The mane of red hair, the smirk and fang, the Pocky packet in her hand—"Kyouko-san?" Madoka gasped.
To her credit, Kyouko had immediately recognized the other woman but had assumed that she did not remember her. Now, however, she puffed up and proudly proclaimed, "The one and only!"
Madoka immediately left her desk and hugged Kyouko, who winked at a frowning Homura.
Curious and unable to contain her boundless energy, Kyouko began bombarding Madoka with questions. "Mado-chan—" at Homura's glare, she quickly backtracked—"err, Kaname-san, when did ya get so rich? What happened to the house ya used to live in, in the city? Would ya mind showing me the kitchens? D'ya really have an army of servants at your command, like in the movies? D'ya live here alone? Oh, and how've ya been all these years? 'Long time, no see' and all that stuff." Kyouko paused for another Pocky stick, which gave an amused Madoka a chance to reply.
"Hold on, I need a chance to answer," she laughed as she sat behind her desk again, shuffling some papers around.
Homura remained by the door, mindful of her job as bodyguard, but also captivated by her client's beauty. Neither Madoka nor Kyouko noticed Homura's staring.
"Mama became the CEO once her boss retired, about a year after… well, between her earnings and Papa's at-home business we had enough to buy and maintain this place after we sold our old house. Tatsuya's studying abroad, in America and Mama was on a business trip in Tokyo a few weeks ago but she's visiting Tatsuya right now." Here, Madoka paused.
Homura and Kyouko sensed the woman's hesitation and unease.
"My father died a few years ago when he had a sudden stroke, so yes, I am currently living alone here. There's only the cook, the chauffeur, and two maids; no grand army of servants, I'm afraid. I'm fine, though. I have a fulfilling job and loving friends—what more could I need?" Even as she said, however, Madoka felt a certain emptiness in her last statement.
Kyouko, for once, had the tact to refrain from digging deeper. "Well, things have certainly changed," she said, another Pocky stick clenched between her teeth. A thought occurred to her. "What happened to Miki Sayaka? She around? Is she still with that boy?"
"You don't know? She's a Division B bodyguard at Security Firm," Madoka said, confused.
Mouth agape, Kyouko stood silent for a few seconds, wondering how that fact had escaped her notice.
Internally rolling her eyes at Kyouko's cluelessness, Homura spoke up. "Kaname-san, should I call a maid to get Sakura-san settled in?" Madoka nodded, looking worriedly at a lost Kyouko.
Homura quickly left the study, trusting Kyouko to take care of Madoka for a few minutes.
Besides, she was desperate to find an escape, even if it was only temporary, from Madoka's presence. Ever since the night before, the mere sight of her client reminded her of all the pain she had gone through for her, something that Homura had sworn to forget after finding salvation in Security Firm.
Unfortunately, running away from the past almost never ended well.
Back in the study, Kyouko took the seat in front Madoka's desk. "Say, Mado-chan… why exactly do you need a bodyguard? Homura didn't explain last night," Kyouko asked, propping her feet up on the desk.
Madoka blinked, unused to Kyouko's carelessness.
"Oh, well… umm, I'm being stalked. He only appears when I'm alone, though, so a… friend suggested I hire a bodyguard, and here we are." Madoka refrained from mentioning Mami to Kyouko, since she was not sure how things were between the two.
Kyouko nodded, satisfied with that answer.
The door opened and one of the maids entered, followed closely by Homura. "Kaname-sama?" the maid curtsied.
"Ah, yes, please give Kyouko-san a tour of the house and allow her to choose a bedroom on the first floor. Introduce her to Nero, and once she's all done she may do as she pleases for the rest of the day—unless Homura-chan asks for her," Madoka instructed.
Kyouko was impressed: the bashful Kaname had rarely been so assertive when they were younger—at least, not as far as Kyouko knew.
The maid nodded and gestured for the bodyguard to follow. Personally, the maid thought the new bodyguard was slightly unbalanced, but if Akemi-san trusted her then perhaps she wasn't so bad.
"Sakura-san," Homura stopped Kyouko on her way out, "return here when you are finished. Kaname-san will be busy grading, so we will have a chance to discuss arrangements before dinnertime. Agreed?"
Kyouko brightened up at the mention of dinner and nodded.
Homura turned to her client, who smiled gently at her.
No. I refuse to fall into that self-destruction again. She kept her expression free of emotion.
"Kaname-san, I will be in the hallway should you need me."
With that, Homura left Madoka to her grading.
／人◕‿‿◕人＼
She was all alone in the hospital. Her mother had died of cardiac arrest—the very same danger that threatened to take away her own life.
She could barely remember her mother's loving smile.
Her father had lived for several more years, desperately working in order to give his only daughter a chance to live. He died in a construction accident when she was ten.
She spent two more years in the hospital after her father's death, resigning herself to a life of hopelessness. She transferred to Mitakihara Middle School; her old school no longer accepted her, due to how far she had fallen behind despite her best efforts to keep up.
A year went by—her memory went strangely fuzzy here—then Security Firm took her in and she transferred to another school. Twelve years passed. Sometimes, she partnered with Sakura Kyouko—where had they met?—but she preferred to work alone.
Alone, alone, alone.
But safe.
She was safe.
Why she needed to be safe, she didn't know.
"The kitchens! I tell ya, Mado's got it good!" Kyouko gushed, regaling Homura with her wonderful adventure in the kitchen. They were standing in the corridor outside of Madoka's study, a couple of hours after Kyouko had made her grand entrance.
"Nero-sensei said he would gladly teach me how to—" Kyouko paused. She could easily tell that Homura was not paying attention. Her gaze was distant, unfocused; something was bothering her.
That in and of itself was worrisome. Homura was rarely bothered by anything. Crossing her arms, Kyouko leaned against the wall and waited for her companion to notice the silence.
Minutes crawled by in utter silence.
Homura suddenly focused on Kyouko's still form. "Ah, Sakura-san. I take it you finished settling in?" The other nodded, her usual smirk absent from her expression.
Kyouko had had an epiphany: the incident over the shirt this morning, the sudden chaos in Homura, and the very fact that Homura was working for Madoka despite her vow to never see Kaname Madoka ever again, thirteen years ago.
"Homura." The grave inflection of her name caught Homura's attention.
Her blank purple eyes looked at her partner.
"Open the door, Homura."
Baffled, the black-haired bodyguard frowned at Kyouko. "What?"
Impatient, Kyouko raised her voice and called for Madoka through the closed door. Homura had a bad feeling about this.
The door opened and a concerned Madoka stuck her head out. "Kyouko-san?"
"Kaname-san, we all need to have a little chat before Homura here goes insane," Kyouko bluntly said, ignoring Homura's shocked and discomfited expression.
Madoka's hands immediately reached out to her friend, though she stopped herself short of actually reaching Homura. Instead, she nodded and let them into her study.
Kyouko suddenly had a weird sensation of sitting in the principal's office awaiting punishment—Madoka's normally shy and bashful presence had turned serious and imposing. Homura recognized this as her "teacher mode."
Madoka did not say anything, preferring to wait for Kyouko to explain.
"Right, err…." Kyouko fumbled her jacket pockets for something to munch on, pulling out a chocolate bar. A couple of bites steadied her nerves far better than any alcoholic drink could. "I'm not exactly sure where to start, but… Kaname-san, Homura here has repressed almost all of her memories from her time at Mitakihara Middle School. I'm afraid that something's triggered their release and it's affecting her badly."
Madoka glanced at Homura, but Homura refused to look at her.
"I think, Kyouko-san, that we have all repressed our memories of that particular year," Madoka tapped her fingers against the desk, deep in thought.
When Kyouko opened her mouth to continue, Madoka raised a hand for silence.
Homura glanced at her client uncertainly; Madoka had certainly learned to take control in the twelve years that she had last seen the modest girl. The confident person in front of Homura was more similar to the "first" Madoka she had met all those timelines ago, not the girl who was almost heartbreakingly timorous Homura had last seen.
She had only been Madoka's bodyguard for just under two weeks, and—before her memories had started messing with her—she had come to think of Kaname Madoka as having two alternating personalities.
As a bodyguard, Homura had received training in psychoanalyzing in order to deal with hostage situations and the like. She had enough basic knowledge to spot potential trouble spots, and Madoka certainly had the potential to derail everything.
Unfortunately, that training was little help to her now, when she herself was—she hated to admit it—possibly going insane.
Post-traumatic stress disorder, that's all it is, Homura tried to reassure herself.
Madoka suddenly leaned back into her chair, interrupting Homura's train of thought. "Kyouko-san, it is high time we confront our past; that was your goal in starting this conversation, yes?"
"Yes, Madoka-san. I had an epiphany earlier, when I realized Homura wasn't paying attention to what I was saying. No offense, but you don't know what she—what we've been through. Mami kept ya at a distance—seein' is one thing. Livin' is a whole other ballgame," Kyouko explained. Then, feeling awkward because she was unused to being so serious, Kyouko stood up and started pacing.
Homura sat stiffly in her chair, suddenly furious because Kyouko thought that Mami had saved Madoka.
That is incorrect: I saved Madoka. I finally saved her.
She clenched her fists.
Homura was going, going, always going in circles. She had not been able to save Madoka this time, but that was fine. All she had to do was turn back time, repeat the month once more. If that timeline failed—well, no matter. She would continue going in circles until she found Madoka's salvation.
"Homura-chan!" Madoka's warm hands gripping her cold ones felt nice. She looked up at Madoka—when did she get up?—and stared into the younger woman's pink eyes.
You have very pretty eyes, Madoka. Why did you have to die? You were so brave, so kind, so pure… but fate saw it fit to kill you, to take you away from me.
"I saved you, Kaname-san, not Tomoe Mami," Homura's soft voice sounded miserable and weary.
Madoka could only nod. She looked to Kyouko, uncertainty replacing her earlier poise. Kyouko only shrugged helplessly.
Akemi Homura was falling apart before their very eyes.
There was a lucid part of Homura that marveled at the rapidness of her own deterioration.
I used to be in control, only a day ago. Now I am falling apart, letting my own memories destroy me.
"Homura-chan?" Madoka's grip on her hands tightened. What's happening to you? Why am I being stalked by Kyubey again? Why now? Why are you so… broken?
Suddenly, Homura could not keep silent anymore. "I saved you, Kaname-san! But you saved me first." She could see the unease and even a sliver of doubt in Madoka's expression. "Every iteration drives you further away from me," Homura mused out loud sadly.
She avoided looking at Madoka and Kyouko, preferring to stare at one of the paintings in the study. "I was alone in the hospital. My mother had died of cardiac arrest—the same problem I myself had. I was only four years old… I barely remember her. Father died six years later in a construction accident. He worked so hard to pay for the best care Tokyo could offer. Later, my old school refused to readmit me, because I had fallen behind too much. I transferred to Mitakihara Middle School. There, Kaname-san, I met you."
Swallowing painfully, Homura glanced at Madoka, whose hands had not let go of her own. Concern and curiosity were apparent in the woman's always-compassionate expression.
Your hands are so warm… your touch is damning.
"You approached me during break and escorted me to the nurse's office," here, Homura had to stop and force herself to refrain from crying. "You were so kind, so cheerful, so confident. I trailed behind you, uncertain and with zero self-confidence. You always had a bright smile for everyone—for me. In your infinite kindness, you declared yourself my friend. When I went home that day, however, all I could think about was how worthless and pathetic I was compared to you. A witch sensed my self-destructive thoughts and augmented them: I contemplated suicide. Then I realized I was in a strange place—a witch's lair. I thought I would die there, all alone.
"Kaname-san, you saved me. Tomoe Mami was the veteran, you explained later, but you were my hero."
Madoka's forehead furrowed in confusion. But I have never been a magical girl, she wanted to protest.
"— I was amazed by how confident and cheerful you were. From then on, I was irrevocably tied to you. When you died—fighting Walpurgis Nacht—I did not hesitate to make a contract with the damned Kyubey. Thus began an endless repetition of a single month. No matter what I did to save you, to change your horrible fate, you kept leaving me. Over the course of many timelines, of many deaths, I learned the truth behind the Puella Magi and witches. In fact, you became a witch once. Kriemhild Gretchen. That was painful… I do not know which was more painful: watching you become a witch or killing you at your orders in order to avoid becoming a witch. At any rate, I kept rewinding time.
"The timeline before this one was particularly painful. I was a complete stranger to you by then. Every time I went back, we grew farther and farther apart. You tried to befriend me—as you had done in every other timeline—but your best friend hated me, and ultimately she came before me. I was never your best friend." She stared at a point beyond her knees, towards the floor.
Hearing the raw anguish in Homura's voice made Madoka want to pull her into a tight embrace and reassure her that it was all going to be alright. All she did, however, was kneel before Homura, pressing her forehead on Homura's knees.
Homura continued to studiously avoid looking at her.
"I killed Kyubey many times in an attempt to stop you from making a contract, but what stopped you in that last timeline was one of Walpurgis's familiars. You had lost almost all of your friends by then—I knew that if you managed to survive, you would be scarred by the deaths of so many close friends. I was close to giving up hope, but I turned back time again, promising myself that this time I would succeed.
"I saved you, Kaname-san. It was painful, keeping myself at a distance. I was content to work alongside Mami-san once more, but it was not as fulfilling as working with you. When we teamed up with Kyouko, I was pleased. It was difficult to get the two to ignore their differences, but at least this time there was neither Oriko nor Kirika to disrupt my plans. Mami-san did indeed keep you and Miki Sayaka from becoming involved, but I had planned that." Homura fell silent, mentally fending off heavy memories of different timelines.
She stared at Madoka's bowed form, finding it absurd that Madoka was kneeling before her.
Kyouko, for her part, could not decide which she would rather believe: that Homura was insane or that Homura was telling the truth.
Both options were painful and undeniably heartbreaking.
Glancing at the clock, she clenched her teeth, realizing that one of the maids would most likely come up soon to announce that dinner was ready. Ah well, I guess food will have to wait today, she ruefully thought. Kyouko got up as silently as she could, waving a hand at the concerned look Madoka sent her from her awkward position on the floor.
Poor Mado, she's going to be rather sore later—and not for the right reasons. Kyouko smirked to herself and went off to warn the maids that the study was currently off-limits for the next hour or so, for dear Kaname-san needed some alone time with her bodyguard.
The scandalized face of one of the maids almost made her feel guilty… almost. You can't blame a gal for having some fun. When I agreed to help out Homura, I definitely didn't expect her to fall apart the first day! Then, her stomach grumbled, and Kyouko debated going to the kitchens for a snack but decided against it because she knew she probably wouldn't be able to resist over-indulging.
Ah, the woes of being Kyouko!
…Heh. The "woes" indeed.
Meanwhile, Homura had enough presence of mind to realize that Kyouko would want to be present for the rest of her narration, so she contented herself with staring at her charge.
Such a lovely face, Madoka. I'm glad that you at least got to experience more of life than in all the other timelines. Those kind pink eyes, smooth cheeks, smiling lips—how did I manage to forget about you for thirteen years?
Madoka, on the other hand, was getting a bit uncomfortable with Homura's blatant staring (she was loath to admit that a part of her actually liked being blatantly checked out).
She really didn't know what to think of Homura's story. It was obvious that the bodyguard loved her—why else would she have tried so desperately to save her?
That is, if her story was true.
But then, there was no way to prove that, so Madoka would have to either believe her or chalk it up to insanity. Somehow, though, Madoka felt that she should trust Homura.
I never did pluck up the courage to become a magical girl. I might have, but Mami-san strongly advised me against it, and I had no real reason to sacrifice my soul. Sayaka-chan almost did, after Kyosuke rejected her, but in the end she didn't.
All this time, though… Homura's been fighting for my life?
'Sometimes, there is no other choice. You either fight or let someone else fight on your behalf.'
Where had she read that? No matter. Madoka felt guilty for putting Homura through all of that pain, even though she had not known.
I really hate Kyubey now.
Except, it wasn't entirely Kyubey's fault, now was it? He was the tempter, certainly, but he had not forced them to make a contract—it is our own inability to accept reality that should be blamed. It's our own fault.
Kyouko burst in and reclaimed her seat next to Homura; Madoka was grateful for the distraction. "Ah, sorry for that. Didn't want the maid interrupting and all," she explained, putting her feet up on the desk.
"Kyouko-san, I would appreciate it if you would remove your feet off of Kaname-san's desk," Homura sternly reprimanded. Abashed, Kyouko did just that.
"Well, now that Kyouko-san is back… umm, well," Madoka floundered awkwardly.
"Do you believe me, Kaname-san?" Homura's purple eyes focused on the kneeling woman, letting go of her warm hands. Madoka's hands dropped to her knees, her head bowed forward: a position that painfully reminded Homura of one particular timeline where Homura herself had nearly died.
Though, I suppose it does not matter whether or not you believe me. You never believed me—not until it was too late, she thought bitterly.
Perhaps, over the course of scores of timelines, resentment over Madoka's apparent blindness to her situation had built up to the point that Homura had had little difficulty forgetting about Kaname Madoka in this timeline.
Thus, Madoka's next words took her breath away.
"Yes, I do," came the simple reply. Loving pink eyes did not look away from Homura's intense stare.
Someone clearing her throat ruined the moment. Kyouko smirked and said, "Look, lovebirds, I was under the impression that we were in the middle of a heart-wrenching, sanity-shattering walk down memory lane. Tch. I expect a bonus for this week's work."
Blinking, Madoka processed the wry humor present in Kyouko's voice and could not suppress a chuckle.
"Of course, Kyouko-san. Ah, Homura-chan, I think Mami-san should be present for the… rest of the story." Madoka looked concernedly at her friend. "Really, she should have been here for all of it," she added as an afterthought.
Homura merely shrugged. She felt better having confessed to her true past. It seems that talking to someone else truly does help.
Next to Homura, Kyouko suddenly slumped in her chair dejectedly. "That means this is gonna be a long night. Can I at least eat dinner while you call her?" she pleaded with Madoka, who laughed and told her to go down to the kitchens and bring up dinner for all of them.
Beaming and secretly glad to be away from the heavy atmosphere, Kyouko dashed out of the study.
Madoka stared after Kyouko for a moment before shaking her head and pulling out her cell. Her free hand absently reached up for Homura's cold hands, startling the dazed woman.
"Don't you dare fall apart on me, Homura-chan!" Madoka scolded her, though a smile graced her features. She patiently waited for Mami to pick up, but was taken completely by surprise when Homura easily lifted her off the ground, placed her in her lap, and wrapped her arms around Madoka. "Eep!" she squeaked just as a refined voice on the other end said, "Good evening, Tomoe Mami speaking."
"Oh! Mami-san, it's me, Madoka… yes, I'm fine, but I need you to come over as soon as possible…. Well, there's something of a situation; I'll explain everything as soon as you get here, please?… Thank you, Mami-san. Umm, I have to warn you though, Kyouko-san and Homura-chan are with me… no, they're not fighting each other—I'll explain when you get here… Alright, I'll see you soon, then."
When Madoka hung up, she stayed awkwardly silent for a few seconds, wondering if she should get up or not. Struggling with herself, she eventually decided to wrap her arms around Homura and rest her head on the latter's shoulder.
I'm only trying to comfort her, Madoka told herself. The fact that being in Homura's embrace felt really soothing had nothing to do with it, not at all.
Many minutes later, Mami found them in that position upon entering Madoka's study.
"Good evening, Madoka-san, Akemi-san. May someone please explain this?"
/\
A/N: Hooray for sporadic updates.
I feel that it's very wordy and somewhat awkward, but maybe that's just me? Please review with any comments, concerns, etc.!
~Teddy.