Chapter 8: Operation – Amy

"Oh, no. No, no, no, no, Jake, no" Amy said, still clutching the hand that caressed her cheek. Her face contorted and a sob escaped her. This wasn't happening. Jake wasn't dying.

"Amy, listen-"

"Jake, an ambulance is coming for you right now. You're going to be okay, okay?" she said and unsolicited tears decorated her eyes.

"Amy, I can't feel my legs" Jake said—calm and simple. Amy felt herself sink like she was falling through the sky. She clutched him more fiercely.

"You listen to me, Jacob Peralta. Don't you dare go all 'I've accepted death' on me. You're going to get to the hospital and they're going to make you better" she said with her voice shaking and her cheeks wet.

Then Jake looked at her with such tenderness, it made her want to cry even harder.

"I really need to tell you something" he said, but was interrupted by the sound of a door crashing down. Police voices traveled to Amy's ears and she never heard something so sweet. She turned away from Jake and towards the visitors.

"WE'RE UP HERE! I NEED AN EMT QUICK!" she yelled at the top of her lungs. She was rewarded by a parade of NYPD vests and guns. A couple of EMTs with an orange backboard rushed to her. They invaded the space around Jake and began checking his vitals. Amy was forced to separate from him. She hastily tried to explain that he was poisoned by hemlock when a pair of strong hands gripped her from the back. She turned around and saw Terry looking at her with sympathetic eyes.

"It's okay, Amy. They've got him. You did it" he said with all the kindness in the world. It wasn't good enough. The EMTs began taking Jake away on the backboard and some sort of strong force pulled her towards him.

"I-I have to go with him" Amy said, trying to follow them. Terry's strong hand grasped hers and made her stop.

"Wait, Santiago. Maybe you should stay with me"

"Sarge, I can't! He'll be alone! I can't—"

"The Captain wants to go with him and you need a breather. Come on, you can ride with me" Terry said and he began following the EMTs. Amy stayed on his heels and passed a blur of cops assessing the scene.

When they reached the outside, Jake was being put in an ambulance and Holt was climbing in with him. Amy felt her heart beat and realized it was beating dangerously fast. She hated that she wasn't going with him.

"We'll take my car. Let's go" Terry said. Amy continued to stare at the ambulance until Terry called out to her. The sound of her name shook her out of her trance and she quickly followed Terry to his police-issued vehicle. They shuffled into the car which followed the lights and buzz of the ambulance Jake was in. Terry put on his sirens as well and stayed up to speed with the ambulance as they weaved through the streets.

Given the chance to sit down, horrible thoughts invaded Amy's mind. The paralysis had already hit his legs. How much longer until it hit his respiratory system? His heart? Anxiety and panic attacked her like a lion that hadn't been fed in four days. Her breath got shallow and her chest exploded with pain.

"Santiago? Santiago! You gotta calm down, okay? Breathe! In-2-3-4 and out-2-3-4" Terry prompted. She nodded and did her best to follow directions. It helped. She was able to get air into her lungs and the ripping pain in her chest reduced itself to a dull ache.

"Thanks" she mumbled and looked out the passenger seat window. This was a nightmare. She couldn't imagine feeling worse than this, but she knew it existed if the unthinkable were to happen.

"He'll be okay" Terry said in a kind voice. Amy looked at him and her eyes glossed over with tears once again. She looked down at her hands.

"What if he's not?" she said in a voice so soft it was almost a whisper. The car was silent with the exception of sirens for a very long time.

"You're underestimating him" Terry said, finally.

"What?" Amy asked.

"You're underestimating him. Jake's going to put away this poison just like he puts away bad guys. Plus, he owes me way too much money to die now. Terry always gets what's owed to him" Terry said and it actually made Amy smile.

The ambulance pulled into the ER roundabout and Terry was close behind it. As Terry parked, Amy watched the EMTs bring Jake out on a gurney and roll him inside. She quickly unbuckled her seatbelt and half-jumped out of the car. She ran to the emergency entrance, desperate to be close to Jake. Amy went through the automatic doors and down the hall. She soon ran into Holt who was walking towards her from the opposite direction.

"Santiago" he said, surprised to see her.

"Captain, is he okay?" she asked. Her throat suddenly got very dry and it was hard to swallow.

"Peralta is in the hospital's care. They assured me they would keep us updated on his progress" Holt said and he gave her a supportive pat on her shoulder. That action would have been cause for a party any other day, but not today.

"That's all?" she asked with pleading eyes.

"Yes. We should go to the waiting room" Holt said and Amy nodded. Terry met them in the hallway and they silently walked to the waiting room together.

The waiting room filled her with a dread that seeped it her bones. The room was covered in tacky 90's décor and even tackier upholstery. Everything was in hideous pastels and blinding whites. Not to mention the smell that lingered in the air, which could only be described as piss and 409. She wanted to run out of the room, but her feet anchored her there. She decided to sit with her elbows on her thighs and her gaze on her shoes.

A TV was on. It entertained itself though, because not a single person indulged in it. Amy took in a deep breath and almost felt guilty about it. Jake was probably having a hard time breathing right now. She wished she could ration her breaths. She had too many today, why not give them to Jake? She looked down at her watch. Only two minutes had passed. How was that possible? She already felt like years had gone by.

Amy tried to focus on something else. She looked around at the people in the waiting room with her. They all looked like they were waiting on bad news. She must have looked like that too. There was no comfort in a waiting room and they all felt it.

As the minutes ticked by, more of the nine-nine filtered in. Boyle came in first, talking too much and in a panic. Terry did his best to calm him. Gina came in next, looking far more serious than Amy had ever seen her. She wouldn't look at her phone for minutes at a time and kept playing with her hands. Scully and Hitchcock shuffled in, but were both quiet.

Rosa was the last to arrive. She came in, looking how she normally did and sat down next to Amy.

"Hey" she said. Her voice was as direct as always. Amy nearly smiled.

"Hey" Amy replied.

"This sucks" Rosa said and she crossed her arms.

"Yeah"

Silence engulfed the room once more.

"You're an idiot. You're both idiots" Rosa said. Amy looked at her like she was insane.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me," Rosa said, standing up, "You're an idiot. So is Jake. If you don't both get your acts together after this, I'm gonna beat the stupid out of you"

Rosa walked away and decided to sit next to Boyle, who was sobbing. She aptly punched his arm and told him to stop being a baby.

Amy shook her head.

"What the hell was that about?" she thought and her mind reeled looking for the answer. She had the nagging feeling it might have to do with the non-romantics of her and Jake's relationship. Amy squeezed her fist.

"I'm not the idiot. Jake's the idiot. I tried. I laid it all out on the table and he said 'no', dammit" she thought as resentment towards Rosa bubbled up into her throat. Jake and Amy had made plans for a conversation, but Amy wasn't sure that would happen. Not now.

Amy remembered how Jake said he really needed to tell her something. Her heart froze as she thought of the look he gave her when he said that. It was so soft and sweet that she briefly wondered if he was going to kiss her.

"I wish he would have" Amy thought and was immediately surprised by it. She shouldn't be having these thoughts. Not when there's no confirmation he wants her and no confirmation he'll be okay. Still, a voice in the back of her mind was on a rampage. It yelled at her that she was skirting the issue and not admitting the thing that really made her an idiot.

She had done such a good job of suppressing it, of not letting the word come into her consciousness. It was there though. It had been, probably since she first kissed him, but who knows? It didn't matter. Nothing mattered because the simple truth of it was: Amy was in love with Jake.

A wound ripped its way across her chest at the thought. She was an idiot. Over the past three months she had been avoiding the word that hung right in front of her nose because it could only bring her pain. Still, it was three long months of lying to herself. She was in love with that immature idiot and she couldn't pretend she wasn't anymore.

She loved him. And down the hallway, he was dying.

After eons of silent torture in the waiting room, a doctor approached Captain Holt. The entire nine-nine crowded around to hear the news, Amy jumping up quickest.

"Doctor, how is he?" Holt asked and Amy detected the slightest of trembles in his voice.

"He's stable. The poison is working its way through his body and we have him on artificial ventilation, which means he's breathing through a machine. There's no antidote for hemlock so we have to wait until the body flushes the chemicals out. The process could take anywhere from two to three days. So, we'll be monitoring him closely" the doctor said.

"Will he make a full recovery?" Terry asked and Amy's legs felt weak.

"Well, the next 24 hours are crucial. There are complications that could happen with this treatment, but Mr. Peralta is young and strong so I'm very optimistic. If you'd like to visit him, you can. Just please limit it to one person at a time"

The rest of the group mumbled their thanks to the doctor and Boyle followed him to Jake's room.

"So, that was good news, right?" Gina asked, speaking for the first time since she'd been there.

"Real good news" Terry said with a smile and a hand on her shoulder. Small smiles graced everyone's face and for the first time in a very long time, Amy felt light. Jake might not have been out of the woods yet, but if all he needed to do was survive for 24 hours then he'd be seeing open pastures for sure.

After several minutes, Boyle came back and Gina went to visit Jake next. The nine-nine slowly took turns seeing him and then headed home. It wasn't long until the waiting room consisted of only Amy and Captain Holt. Rosa had just seen Jake and told them goodbye before she left for her apartment.

"You go, Captain" Amy said and he didn't argue. Finally, Amy was alone. She took a deep breath in and the action caused her eyes to water. The stress of the day was taking a toll on her and it was hard to make the tears stop.

After a minute or two, the Captain came back down the hallway he had just walked up.

"Santiago, I'll wait for you and take you home" Holt said.

"Thank you" she said and managed a smile.

Amy walked down the hallway that led to Jake's hospital room. The walk made her nervous without warning. She wasn't even sure why she was so nervous, only that she was. She got to the door and her heart skipped a beat when her hand touched the door knob. She opened the door and saw Jake in the center of the room.

She understood why she was nervous. It was terrible seeing Jake in the hospital. He was pale and connected to far too many wires. A device that covered his mouth and nose made him look even sicker. Amy sat down in a chair that was placed next to Jake's bedside and took a deep breath in.

She hated seeing him like this. Jake was supposed to be jumping around making stupid faces and even stupider jokes, not lying in a bed looking like a ghost. He should be in plaid patterns and leather jackets, not in a hospital gown.

Amy studied his face. She noticed how gently his eyelashes graced his skin and, through all the machinery, Amy analyzed his lips. They were paler than they usually were, but she was still drawn to them. Her eyes followed his arm down to his hand. It was the same hand that brushed her cheek at the warehouse. It, too, was covered in wires. This didn't stop her from grabbing it. She held his hand with both of hers and she scooched her chair closer so she could raise it. She gently kissed his knuckles and put his hand down, still holding on.

"So, I know you're probably in John-McClane-Action-Movie-Dreamland right now, but uh, I just want you to know that you really need to get better. Apparently, you have a little battle, you have to fight for the next 24 hours," she said, tears pooling in her eyes, "so you need to be just like John McClane, okay? You can't give up because I have something very important I have to tell you and I need you alive in order to say it so…get better. Get better"

Holt had given her a week off, but she refused it. There was no way she could handle the next three days cooped up in her apartment with only her thought to keep her company. It was impossible to sleep that first night. It was all tossing-and-turning and "stop crying" mantras. Amy was very adamant that the best thing for her was to keep busy.

Everyone was a little shocked she showed up the following morning, but no one made a comment, at least, not to her. She buried herself under the stacks of paper work she needed to do for the Toy Box Killer case. She spared no detail and spent hours on color coding it. She reminded herself that this was the case of her career, so she needed it to be extra perfect.

When the work day was done she set off to the hospital. She debated on whether or not to get Jake some flowers, but decided it was probably in poor taste. Instead, she got him a mug with hard candies on the inside and a little aluminum balloon hovering above it.

When she arrived at Jake's room, Boyle was already there. The nurses allowed Jake two visitors though and Amy placed her gift next to Boyle's teddy bear.

"Any updates from the doctor?" Amy asked Boyle.

"Yeah, we're a couple hours out from the 24 hour mark and there haven't been any red flags so far. He's doing good!" Boyle said with an optimistic smile. Amy returned it.

"That's great" she said, taking the chair next to Boyle.

"He's going to be fine. A buncha leaves can't keep Jakey down!" Boyle said with enthusiasm.

"Yeah, it's going to take a lot more than that"

The doctor confirmed that Jake was on his way to a full recovery and Amy had a much easier time falling asleep that night.

On the second day, Amy went out and got herself a couple of easy collars. She was happy Jake was getting stronger, but thinking about him for too long made her anxious.

When she went to visit, Holt was the one who greeted her when she opened the door.

"The nurse told me he's getting stronger every day" Holt said and Amy believed it. Amy felt like she was getting stronger as Jake grew stronger. It was easier and easier for her to smile and the pain in her chest got continuously less severe. That night, she was even able to sleep a full five hours. It was progress.

During the third day, Amy was helping Rosa with a drug bust. They were looking over surveillance tapes when Boyle ran into the AV room.

"Holt's making an announcement in the bullpen! I think it's about Jakey!" He said with giant grin. Rosa and Amy looked at each other and followed Boyle out to the bullpen.

Holt was standing outside of his office and it seemed the whole precinct had congregated. Excited chatter had erupted amongst the police officers and Holt raised his hands to silence them.

"Everyone, as you know, Detective Peralta has been in hospital battling a poison he was forced to ingest by a dangerous criminal. I just received a call from the hospital and they informed me that he is now breathing on his own and is awake"

The bullpen exploded into loud cheers and Amy found herself cheering with them. She turned to Rosa, who was smiling bigger than Amy had ever seen her, and hugged her. Rosa even hugged her back.

"Hey, can we raincheck on those surveillance tapes? I promise I'll make it up to you" Amy asked and Rosa gave her a knowing look.

"I'll let you off this once" Rosa said, her arms crossed and little smirk appearing on her lips.

"You're the best!" Amy said and quickly grabbed her things, practically skipping out of the bullpen.

She was going to see Jake.

And she had something very important to tell him.

AN: One chapter left! How will the saga end? I guess you'll just have to stay tuned.

So big brother!Terry is my fav Terry.

A section of this chapter was heavily influenced by "What Sarah Said" by Death Cab for Cutie. Check it out because it's a great song.

Thank you guys soooo much for all your nice comments from the last chapter. I was so overwhelmed, thank you very much!

Haha I was going to put this out like a day and a half ago, but FF was down so uh, here it is now! You won't have to wait long for chapter 9 though!