Lesson Two: Getting Your Bearings

Once the full understanding of their situation finally set in, there was no panic. Everybody seemed too overwhelmed to panic.

And disoriented. Steven had to help Pearl to her (or rather, Sour Cream's) feet, and even then she was still unsteady on them. Everybody was, actually- unsteadiness was a natural consequence of being thrown into a body where none of the proportions were quite what you expected them to be. One might have expected that the shape-shifting Gems would have had a leg-up in this situation, but that was quickly proved wrong. Deliberate shape-shifting was quite a different thing to waking up in the wrong body, and even Amethyst had never actually taken on the form of a proper, fully-functional human. They came with all these odd, inconvenient bits that Gems, by and large, just didn't bother with, and none of them were prepared for the dizziness and nausea that came with them. Add in the shifting sand beneath their feet, and it's no surprise that the formerly-human teenagers got the hang of their new bodies much faster. While the aliens were still struggling to get coordinated, the teens were able to make their way across the beach for a closer look.

"Wow," Buck said, staring down at his vacated body. "I'm short."

"I've been shorter," Garnet said, apparently looking for a bright-side to focus on.

Jenny was shaking her head furiously, sending Amethyst's long white hair flying everywhere. She pushed it out of her face impatiently. "I can't believe this. I mean, I've gotta be dreaming."

"Yes, a dream!" said Pearl, too loudly. She threw up her hands in a very un-Sour Cream way. "Exactly! This is just a messed up movie!"

"...I don't think so," Steven said. This didn't feel like any dream he'd ever had before, magical or mundane. But it was still very weird.

"How could this have happened?!" exclaimed Amethyst, poking once more at where her Gem normally sat.

Jenny went and swatted the hand away- but with more force than intended, causing Amethyst to wince in pain. "Ow."

"Sorry!" Jenny said, genuine concern and surprise at her own strength briefly wiping the irritation from her face. But it was merely a temporary distraction from the reality of the situation. "But stop doing that!"

"Why?"

"W- why? Because it's weird, that's why! That's my chest you're poking at! And don't you two-" she said, sending a warning glare at the bodies of Buck and Sour Cream, "say a thing."

"Uh. Jenny. Over here." Sour Cream waved one of Pearl's hands helpfully.

"Oh. Right."

Sour Cream shrugged. His hand dropped back to his side. He didn't seem to know where to put it without pockets. A strained silence stretched.

"Pearl?" Garnet finally prompted.

Pearl had seemed as though she was almost on the verge of a panic attack, her breathing having grown dangerously shallow, but Garnet's authoritative tone- even in Buck's voice- cut through her hysteria. She suddenly recalled her recent resolution made aboard the ancient Gem space-ship, and she she took a long breath, composing herself.

"I don't know for sure," she began. "I can't recall anything like this having happened before; it's completely unprecedented. I can only speculate that all those Gems and human objects being hit with with the energy from my spear's blast...it must have caused some kind of unforeseen magical reaction, resulting in us swapping bodies."

"No, duh," muttered Buck, earning glares from both Pearl and Amethyst. The guy looked away, backing down. It was very disconcerting, seeing those expressions aimed at him from his best friends' faces.

Steven could feel the tension building, and was eager to dissipate it. "So, uh...is there any way to fix it?"

That pulled Pearl's attention back. "Theoretically," she said. "If we can recreate a magical energy emission of the exact same frequency of the original reaction."

"...does that mean 'make another explosion'?" asked Amethyst.

Pearl nodded. "Simply put, yes. It can't be any explosion, but rather a replication of the original. So we must gather up up all the items which were exposed to the initial blast, and then-"

It was at that moment, that out of the corner of their eyes, the group noticed a bright red glow, growing in intensity.

"Wha-?" began Sour Cream as he and the others turned towards the source of the light. The Crystal Gems, however, already understood.

Being at the very epicentre of the explosion had ripped the ferret monster's body apart, forcing it to retreat back into it's gem to heal. While it's confused and disoriented attackers had been busy, trying to make sense of their strange situation, it's red gem had laid in the sand among the rest of the debris- and without anything to contain it, eventually had recovered enough to regenerate.

Now the gem had risen into the air, a darker shadow coalescing within the brilliant light. For a moment, the silhouette looked like a person- tall and lithe, with short-cropped hair- but then the shape shifted, hind-legs bending, arms lengthening, fur sprouting all over the body, which shortened and began to hunch over animalistically. The form which had grown so rapidly then shrunk, and by the time the glow had subsided, the ferret monster standing there was only the size of a large dog.

And it was equal parts scared and angry.

"How is it not dead?" cried Jenny as the regenerated ferret bared it's teeth at them.

Her question went ignored as Garnet shouted, "Get it!" She and her teammates went into action- or attempted to, anyway. Amethyst made it about five steps before she lost her balance and fell face-first into the sand. Garnet was steadier, but when the ferret saw her approach, it angrily lashed it's tail through the the sand, splashing it at the approaching enemies. The warrior never saw it coming, and took the sand attack directly to the eyes. Steven was faster on his feet, and able to dodge the sand-slash. Running left, he went around the creature's side, waving his arms wildly in a desperate attempt to seem large, and dissuade it from running towards him in an attempt to escape. Pearl, meanwhile, finally seemed to have gotten control of her new body. She charged right at the ferret, determination burning in her eyes as she raised her hand to her forehead and pulled out-

-nothing.

Her eyes widened as she grasped at thin air, horrified realization dawning. "My spear!"

The ferret advanced on her, jaws snapping. With no weapon at hand, Pearl had no choice but to jump backwards, out of range. Usually such flips and leaps came easily to her, but not this time; she too joined Amethyst sprawled in the sand.

Throughout this all, the 'humans' had hung back, uncertain; now they seemed like they wanted to do something, but were at a loss as to what.

"Should- should we do something?" asked Sour Cream.

"Yes!" wailed Amethyst, spitting out sand.

"Our weapons!" shouted Garnet. "You can summon them!"

Buck just raised his hands in confusion while Jenny yelled, " How ?"

All at once, the Gems began barking instructions at the people inhabiting their bodies- 'think about your place in the cosmos and your connection to all living matter', 'visualize the spear materializing from the core of your being', 'I don't know, just do it!' Steven grimaced as he heard the confusing and contradictory explanations, all shouted over one another. The teens seemed overwhelmed, and the boy knew the feeling.

The ferret, which had regenerated ready for a fight, now mostly seemed confused as to why the fearsome predators which had defeated it were now about as effective as a flock of headless chickens. It eyed them all suspiciously, as if expecting some kind of trick- but these people truly didn't seem to be a threat anymore. The fight-or-flight response subsided, replaced in favour of something else- the need to collect.

Suddenly, the ferret darted forward, towards the nearest item in it's now scattered collection- what appeared to be an ordinary set of keys. It grabbed them hurriedly with it's forepaws, stuffing them into it's belly pouch once more. Casting it's eyes around, it caught sight of the purplish gemstone it had been admiring earlier. Seeing that it's would-be attackers were still occupied, it ran off to grab it as well.

"GUYS!" Steven cried, trying to cut through the chaos.

Heads swivelled in his direction, then to where he was pointing. Struggling to her feet, Pearl gasped with Sour Cream's voice. "No! We can't let him take those!"

By then, Garnet had wiped the grit out of her face, and was preparing to run in again. Steven was doubtful that she could do much with her new body; she was just too uncoordinated with it. His human friends, meanwhile, seemed no closer to activating their newly acquired alien powers. They'd moved on to fruitlessly poking and growling at 'their' gems, a sight which the child found painfully familiar.

But he himself had long moved past of the stage of vainly eating Cookie Cats in an attempt to activate his powers, and now his shield appeared in his hand with barely a thought. By then the ferret-creature had already picked up the purple gem, and was heading for the next, the shimmering silver one. Steven held his shield like a Frisbee, aimed, then threw it. It went exactly where he wanted it, landing straight-up in the sand, right between the creature and it's quarry, cutting it off. The ferret almost ran straight into the shield, but managed to skid to a stop at the very last second.

"Go away!" Steven shouted, throwing himself at the monster. The ferret released a panicked trill, leaping away- Steven just managed to grab a hold of it's tail. He struggled to get a grip on the silky fur, but the creature thrashed and twisted, and finally managed to break free, leaving behind only a tuft of red hair which quickly vanished into the ether.

Garnet had moved back into action, and was the ferret's side, trying to block it off- but her new body was so much smaller and slower than she was used to, and the ferret had no difficulty dodging her attempt to grab onto it by the scruff of the neck. She put on a burst of speed, managing to get in front of it once more. She braced herself into the sand, squaring off- it merely ran off between her legs, and took off down the beach. Garnet growled, spun around, nearly toppled over, then started to run after it.

She was joined by Jenny, who'd clearly given up on the whip-summoning, and had chosen to take chase after the ferret, prepared to wrestle it to the ground if necessary. Behind her came her two teenaged friends, who were hardly going to let her run off on her own. Within moments they had not only caught up with Garnet, but had outpaced her. They left the now-human in the dust, gaining quickly on the quick-footed ferret.

It looked as though they might actually manage to catch it. It's new, smaller body had far shorter legs, so it wasn't nearly as fast as it had been before, and the newly super-powered teens had desperation on their side.

But they were still newly powered teens, and they were unaccustomed to high-speed monster chases. They kept their eyes locked on their prey; they had no idea that they should have also been watching the ground.

It was a beach, after all, the soft ground uneven and covered in things which had washed up upon the shore. Jenny's foot caught on a large gnarled piece of wood. Her ankle twisted; she collapsed to the ground with a little scream. Buck, who'd been following right at her heels, went down with her. Sour Cream, who'd been a few paces behind, was able to re-direct his course and avoid a three Gem pileup- but the extra seconds it took him to avoid falling gave the ferret a chance to gain even more of a lead. Nevertheless, the DJ continued to chase, even as the ferret left the beach and started up the slope leading inland. By the time the gem-monster had raced over the crest of the hill, Sour Cream was a good ten feet behind, and it became apparent that it had escaped. He had no choice but to give up.

He trotted back down to the beach, head drooped in defeat. "Sorry," he said to the re-assembled group.

"Not your fault," Jenny muttered as she shook sand out of Amethyst's black shirt. "I was the one who messed up."

"I'll say," agreed Amethyst. "That was a disaster!"

"Hey!" grunted Buck. He didn't like people insulting her friends

"Just being honest," Amethyst said. She didn't like people picking on her friends either, and she hadn't forgotten the comment Buck had made to Pearl earlier. "You guys did fall down- and even if you hadn't, you didn't have anything to catch that guy with. You can't summon weapons!

"And we're useless, too!" she continued, turning to her teammates. "It took us forever to catch that thing, and now we're slow and weak, and I can barely walk!"

"That- was- pretty- bad-" huffed Garnet between heavy breaths. She was standing hunched over, arms braced on 'her' legs. The chase, as short and slow as it had been for her, had left her completely winded. It was a novel, and not particularly enjoyable, experience.

"So what are we gonna do?" asked Buck. It was odd, hearing him speak in Garnet's voice, but without her distinctive authority or accent. "Yousaid we needed that stuff to get back into our bodies."

Garnet looked towards the hill, then back at the group. "We catch it."

There were strangled squeaks of alarm all around at the prospect.

Steven chose that moment to re-join the group, distracting them before anyone could think to ask the obvious question of how. The boy was holding both of his hands palm-up in front of him, with a pair of pink bubbles hovering above them. Inside the bubbles glimmered the two remaining gems that the ferret hadn't managed to take with it.

"I figured we shouldn't let them reform, too," he explained with a tentative smile, motioning at them with his head.

"Good job, Steven," Amethyst said, a tired smile on her face. Her teammates nodded, proud and grateful of his forethought. The people occupying the bodies of Steven's teammates, however, just looked confused.

"Reform?" asked Buck. "Like what that gazelle thing did?"

"I thought it looked more like a ferret," reflected Sour Cream.

Pearl gave the person sing her body a long, odd look, then turned back to Buck. "Yes, exactly," she said, answering his question. "I suppose you'll need to know, considering our...situation. But those monsters leave behind gems when defeated. Every single one of them had the ability to reform their body, if they're not kept contained in an object or bubble." She looked back at Steven. "Really clever thinking. If only- well, never mind. You can teleport those back to the Temple now. I got a look at those Gems earlier, so I'll be able to recognize among the rest. We'll need to use them to reverse the effects of the explosion."

Steven nodded in understanding, and the bubbles vanished in a brief pair of pink sparkles. Under normal conditions, this probably would have elicited some impressed reaction from his human friends, but at this point they were clearly resigned the the weirdness.

"What's the point?" asked Amethyst. She pointed in-land, the vague direction to where the ferret had run. "It already got away. You said it yourself, we can't do anything without that other gem."

"Amethyst," said Garnet, warning in her voice. The younger warrior looked down.

"...well," said Pearl. She had that strained look on her face, the one she got whenever she was forced to talk about something she found uncomfortable. "It's...possible...that there may be alternative ways of re-creating that specific frequency, even without every single component of the original explosion. There might be something in the Temple we can substitute for it." She was wringing her hands nervously throughout her explanation, but then she forced more composure and confidence into her tone. "But we'll need to collect everything else that was in the creature's pouch."

Everyone cast their eyes across the beach, which was still littered with the debris from the explosion. There was a lot of it.

"Everything?" asked Jenny.

"Everything," repeated Pearl.

"Even that Sprite can?" asked Buck.

"You heard her," Garnet said, striding towards the object in question and picking it up. "Let's do this right."

So, after a series of exchanged glances, everyone did- humans, Gems and mixtures of the two alike. And if anyone had any doubts about the usefulness of Pearl's plan, or the necessity of the glorified beach clean up, they were kept to themselves.

After all, they couldn't think of a better alternative.