Femme Fortress 2: Meet the Soldier

Author's note: I do not own any of the intellectual properties portrayed in this. This is a pure non profit venture. Now enjoy

We are back now at 2Fort, where a Camera crew is interviewing the Demo and the Heavy. Demo picks at some sliced avocados in a Tupperware container and talks about her comrade. "Truthfully, everything about the Soldier offends me; everything."

"But," Heavy interjects, "She's the only one here who has a driver's license. For better or for worse she's the only way we have to reach the nearest liquor store.

The scene cuts to a woman in her mid-fifties wearing a British army uniform; her iron grey hair tied in a tight knot under her beret. The Soldier is very tall and needs to duck down to avoid hitting her head on the top of the door frame; her face blocked by a crate she's carrying.

Suddenly, Soldier puts down the crate and sees the camera. "Hello!" she shouts at the camera louder than necessary. Soldier is trying to be friendly but the effort is undone by her huge, bulging eyes and psychotic smile. She's a bony, hatchet faced woman with crooked but white teeth. A decade ago she might have been pretty if she didn't always look like she was getting a murder-boner.

As she talks, Soldier rapidly moves her head from side to side and waves her hands as if telling a very interesting story. "Here I am, working for the Red Team."

We cut to the battlefield where Soldier is standing by a dispenser while firing a hail of bullets down at the Blue team from her Sten machinegun. It looks like she's orgasming with every bullet she fires from her gun.

Back to soldier. "Back in her Majesty's army I loved murdering people with shotguns" she somehow manages to grin even wider.

In combat, the Heavy backing her up gets blown away by a sticky bomb, so a maniacally smiling Soldier draws the rocket launcher from her back and performs a rocket jump.

Sailing through the air, she lands in the middle of an enemy squad. Among the fire and the blood splatter, she sprays everywhere with her Sten gun and yanks a large bowie knife from her belt holster and slices the throat of an enemy demo woman.

When her Sten clicks dry, she grabs her rocket launcher again and rocket jumps, killing and maiming her foes with splash damage.

Soldier holds up a finger as she talks about her history. "When Mann co hired me, I celebrated by chopping my dad's bollocks off."

In combat, Soldier jumps into a makeshift catapult built by the Engineer. The ramshackle contraption is held together by duct tape and the will of god. Soldier gives engineer the thumbs up, squealing with excitement like a little girl.

With a smile back engineer flips the switch and soldier goes sailing through the air and flies face first through a window in the blue base.

Soldier smiles and adjust her beret. "I love my dad. I love screwing my dead dad."

We then cut to soldier bouncing up and down, pants-less over a man who's been dead for about a decade; he's still looking pretty juicy. There's a swarm of flies around the two and their pelvic regions are blacked out.

"I love the dead!" soldier gleefully pronounces.

Now soldier is screwing an Irish bog mummy; same as before their pelvic regions are blacked out. The thousand plus years dead Irishman doesn't look too happy despite this being the only poon he's gotten since the iron age.

Up in the control room, Mr. Pauling and the male Administrator watch the scene unfold. Mr. Pauling shakes his head with horror at the sight of this desecration while the Administrator's finely tailored pants can barely hide his erection.

"Yes," the administrator purrs, "Mr. Pauling, find a few more victims for our dear soldier to enjoy; and be quick about it, else you'll be the next corpse she enjoys.

Pauling yelps in fear and runs off, knowing that the Administrator does not make idle threats.

Femme Fortress 2

Heavy bursts through the door to shout at Soldier, "hey! The Liquor store has new summer hours; they close in ten minutes!"

Soldier jumps off her dead Irish lover and slaps a hand to her forehead. "OH NO!"

Cut to outside 2Fort where Soldier speeds through the dusty streets of the fort in a beat up old Caterham 21; heavy and Spy in the back.

Soldier puts pedal to the metal, fire coming out of the exhaust pipes as she nearly runs over Scout and smashes through the wooden barrier that Gray Mann's tanks come through in Mann vs Machine.

I hope you enjoyed that :) The Soldier was based heavily off of children's writer and Youtube poop celebrity Michael Rosen. Next time is the Engineer.

Ta

Master of the Boot