Sonja woke slightly before dawn. It was a cloudy morning and the entire palace seemed to be asleep, resting peacefully behind its huge stone doors secured by magic.
She began her walk towards the library like she often did during the past few days. She could find comfort there, in the ancient knowledge stored within its walls. The corridor was quiet and as the light of the morning star made its way between the columns, Sonja watched their shadows growing tall.
She felt empty, tired and alone. No matter what she did she could not escape the hurt tearing at her, engulfing her and darkening her, much like the shadows in the corridor. Tears would often come welling behind her eyes and she would fight to stop them from falling down her cheeks. Sometimes she would win her battles, but most days she would surrender to the painful memories of her child and husband, to the smell of blood and the hands of orcs and their piercing steel against her flesh.
Just as she heard the voice of her friend calling for her and pulling her back from the haze of thoughts, Sonja felt her feet giving way from under her. She leaned against the nearest column in an attempt to regain her senses.
Merfinnil caught up just in time.
-'Your hands are cold, mellon nin', she said as she was trying to help Sonja back to her feet. 'Are you unwell? ' she asked and she placed a palm on her forehead to check for signs of fever.
-'It is nothing', Sonja replied, regaining control of herself. 'I feel much better now. I will not have you worry over this. '
-'When is the last time you have eaten? ' Merfinnil pressed, but she got no answer . 'Come and sit down for a while', she invited her to rest on a wooden chaise covered with grey animal furs.
-'I am fine', Sonja insisted.
-'Please. It won't do you much good to stand here alone if you were to faint again. '
Sonja gave in to reason and clung to the extended arm that was so graciously offered to her, to help her find her balance as she walked across the hall.
-'I cannot actually recall the last time you joined me for dinner, or lunch or any meal for that matter. You need to eat. You need your strength back', Merfinnil continued her scoldings. 'I could have Legolas command it, if you will not heed the advice of a concerned friend. The King asked me to take care of you and I fear that I have failed him. I have failed you. '
Her voice was grave, almost desperate, then apologetic and it eventually softened as she bowed her gaze all the way to the ground. She closed her eyes and spoke no more.
-'No, dear friend, you did not fail me. And please know that it was not my intention to cause trouble for you, especially with the King', Sonja said in a low voice, placing her hand on the elf's shoulder, hoping to make her feel better.
In truth, she couldn't remember the last meal she had either. She really didn't feel like herself as of late.
There was no response, only an uneasy silence.
-'I need to ask you something, Merfinnil', Sonja resumed her words and the elf finally lifted her chin to meet her gaze again. 'Have you ever seen or heard of a white deer, a white hart in fact? '
-'The guardians of the forest... You met a Nimfjara? ' the elf inquired with great surprise in her eyes.
-'I have dreamt of one, for many nights now. I was wondering if they are real. '
Merfinnil fell silent yet again as she struggled to gather her thoughts.
-'I can only tell you of what I know from the legends of my people, for I have never seen one for myself, mellon nin. '
-'You called them the guardians of the forest', Sonja interrupted, curiosity getting the better of her.
-'They are creatures of pure light, messengers sent from the other realm, that long dwelled inside our Greenwood. Their appearance is said to herald some profound change in the lives of those who encounter them, though many believe they are here to watch over our borders and the magic of this land.'
-'I don't understand. Why would one come to me?'
-'That is something that you alone have to discover. But I will tell you this: it is not often that one is haunted by such a dream. Much less one that is not of the Eldar.'
-'Perhaps it is just a dream then', Sonja decided, trying to abate herself from dwelling on the matter any longer. 'Please, join me in the library and we can have our breakfast there. I think I shall enjoy trying something new today. Maybe we can indulge in some Dorwinion. You don't think the King would mind if we borrow a bottle, would he? '
The elf raised her eyebrows and a slight chuckle escaped her lips as she started to consider her friend's suggestion. The light reflected warm on her fair skin as it flooded the hallway, slowly melting away the shadows.
-'Today went well, my King. '
-'Yes, indeed', Thranduil answered absently, without looking at his advisor.
He was immersed in deep thought and could not be bothered to turn his gaze. There was still much that he needed to take care of before he could return to his halls in Greenwood.
-'Is there no end to this suffering? ' he asked without expecting an actual answer.
-'My lord? '
-'I have lived my share of years in this realm, Hannor. Should I live a thousand more before sailing to Aman, I am uncertain that I will get to witness true peace again. Morgoth and his servants may be gone, but the shadow is everlasting. '
-'The humans are weak and can be easily corrupted. They will need our guidance in the times to come. This shall be our legacy in Middle Earth then. '
The King shifted in his seat and looked towards the window on the far wall. His eyes followed the tiny specs of dust inside the room, floating in the pale moonlit air, and his mind wandered of, thinking about the humans and the gift of death that Iluvatar had bestowed upon them.
-'As elves, we are forever bound to the fate of this world and the souls of our fallen kin. But I sometimes wonder if it is truly any different for the children of Men. Could it really be that their spirits can leave Arda and travel to other realms, unknown even to the Valar themselves? '
-'I suppose it must be so', Hannor replied. 'Otherwise, what is the meaning of a life that ends inevitably in death and oblivion? '
Thranduil poured himself a cup of wine. He poured another and offered it to Hannor. He enjoyed his company and the wisdom in his words. He was older than Thranduil, first advisor to his father, Oropher, before him.
-'It's her, isn't it? The mortal girl. She is the reason you dwell on such matters, my lord. '
-'I merely seek to understand her lingering connection to the ones that are no more. '
-'Change never comes easy, least of all to those who cling to the past. You know that. Give her time. '
-'Time is nothing to me, but it's most precious to humans. '
Thranduil rose from his chair and stepped closer to the window. So many stars, too many to count. But somehow he knew them all by name. They were his constant companions, frozen on a background of deepest darkness, immortal, just like him, in the vicious hands of time.