so i got a really weird review last time calling me "sexist," i've read over the last chapters and i'd really like to know where this comment came from. in the past two chapters ally had been very independent and honest with her feelings, there's nothing sexist about it. her diet is because she wants to eat healthy, it's not to prove herself to anyone besides herself. there are hints that ally is very sexual with herself, she likes to pleasure herself and keep herself satisfied however, the shyness that comes with it is her personality and she will soon overcome it. ally "giving up" her career after dallas cheated on her is not a sign of weakness, she does not know what to do with herself and would rather start a life on her own, pursuing whatever makes her happy. ally's choice of drinking a "frou-frou" drink was not to be seemed more "feminine" it was more of a way to show how picky she is with whatever she eats. there's nothing else that i could find throughout the chapters.

anyway, that was a pretty long "rant" so i'll just leave you to it. enjoy!

Where am I? That was the first thought that came to mind as I woke up. After a few seconds, everything registered. Sunlight attempted to permeate the tent. I lightly patted my bedside before my hand tapping on the ground turned frantic.

Where was the goat?

I jumped up out of my sleeping bag. "Austin!"

"Hmm," he moaned groggily from behind the divider.

"The goat! He's gone." A rush of panic tore through me. "He's gone!"

I zipped the divider down without a second thought.

"Relax. He's here with me."

"Baa." The goat let out that single sound as if to confirm that I had overreacted. My pulse immediately slowed down as I held my hand over my pounding heart. "Oh, thank God."

Austin sat up and ran his hands through his messy hair. Blinking when he looked up, he seemed to freeze. "Jesus Christ. Are you trying to kill me?"

I looked down at myself and crossed my arms over my chest. I'd run over so fast that I hadn't thought about the fact that I'd only slept in my bra and panties. "Shit. Sorry. I was so panicked. I wasn't thinking straight and didn't put anything on."

Utterly embarrassed, I returned to my side and spoke through the closed divider as I started to get dressed. "So, how did he end up over there with you?"

"You were out like a light. He started rustling around, trying to break through to my side. The bugger wouldn't calm down until I let him over here. Slept next to me the rest of the night. Worst fucking breath I've ever smelled in my life."

I couldn't help but crack up at that.

"You think that's funny, eh, Princess?"

"I really do." After throwing my last item of clothing on, I unzipped the barrier again.

Austin was standing before me half-naked only wearing his tight boxer briefs. He glared at me. "Privacy much? What if I'd just walked in on you like that a few seconds ago?"

He'd never looked so sexy, with his bed head and that almost angry look. My eyes unapologetically trailed down the length of his torso, down the thin line of hair leading into his underwear and stopped on his… massive erection.

Oh, God. Now, it made sense why he was suddenly modest.

Clearing my throat, I said, "You… you're…"

"Hard."

"Yes."

"It's called morning wood. I can't be responsible for how I wake up… especially under these conditions."

"Sleeping next to a goat. Did it turn you on?" I laughed.

"I was referring to your impromptu striptease a few seconds ago. And now, you barged over here again before I had a chance to calm the fuck down from it."

"Oh."

"I can only take so much." Austin slipped his pants on.

His stare was burning into mine. He looked even sexier with his arousal straining through his jeans.

As much as I'd felt awkward for putting him in this situation, I loved the idea of being the one responsible for his hard on. In fact, my ability to handle my attraction to him was dwindling pretty fast. With each second that passed, the muscles between my legs were tightening from just the way he was looking at me. These were times I was grateful to be a woman because at least my excitement could be hidden. Still, this wasn't a good predicament. I needed to break the ice.

Clearing my throat, "What are the plans for today?"

He slipped a shirt on. "We need to eat."

"So, we'll get breakfast out?" I stupidly asked.

"Yes, breakfast. What else would I be eating out?"

Uh.

Choking over my words, I said, "No. Breakfast is good. I'm hungry. You?"

"Starving." The look in his eyes implied that he wasn't necessarily referring to food.

I was starving, too.

"Okay, then," I said as I retreated to my side of the tent to cool off.

It took us about an hour to break down our campsite and pack everything back into my car.

We opted to stop for takeout breakfast at a fast food place that was just before the on ramp to the highway. Austin had gone inside to order our huevos rancheros breakfast burritos and coffee. I used the opportunity to take my phone out and typed into Google: Austin Moon.

There he was. A plethora of pictures popped up. There was one in particular where he was shirtless, wearing nothing but a white t-shirt draped around his neck, and you could see just a tease of the top of his juicy ass. The picture showcased his signature sexy smirk that made me squirm in my seat. That cocky smile. Goddammit, he was handsome.

That same image seemed to be the one that came up the most. It was also the one that was being sold as a poster for a cool $19.99 plus shipping and handling. There was even a picture of some girl standing next to the poster on her wall pretending to bite his ass. I suspected there were other people out there playing their own twisted versions of pin the tail on the Austin.

Knowing he'd be back any minute, I was reading through old articles and message boards so fast that my eyes hurt. It was definitely evident that Austin was more well-known for his voice and his looks than anything else. I couldn't help but feel a sense of pride for how he'd turned lemons into lemonade, though. Scrolling down, I came across some pictures of him at various events with the same attractive brunette model. Brooke Ramsey. A twinge—well, maybe a boatload—of jealousy developed in the pit of my stomach.

A knock on the window startled me. I tossed the phone aside, and it fell into the driver's seat. Well, more like I threw it over there.

"Open up for your coffee," I heard him say through the window. I took my cup from him as he walked around and got into the driver's seat. "What were you looking at?"

"Um, nothing. I was just…"

Shit.

Before I had a chance to explain myself, he lifted the phone, scrolling through the pictures with his thumb. He then threw it down onto the center console. "Well, now you've seen it all, haven't you?"

"Yes… and it's… pretty amazing."

He let out a single angry laugh. "Amazing, eh?"

"Yes!"

"And tell me, Ally, what exactly is so amazing about working practically your entire life for one single moment and seeing it all go up in flames on the very first try? What is so amazing about being more famous for your failure than your success? You know what was so nice about this trip with you up until now? You didn't see me as that guy that everyone thinks they know, and now you do."

Shit. I'd really upset him.

"I'm sorry, but I wasn't thinking those things at all."

"What were you thinking then?"

"I was thinking about how wonderful it was that you could stand up proudly in the face of adversity and still make a name for yourself on your image alone. I was also thinking about how striking you are, if you really want to know. And I was wondering who that girl Brooke was. I was curious about everything, yes, but not in a bad way. Not once did I think anything negative."

Austin let out a long, deep breath and muttered, "Let's just go."

I felt so horrible for upsetting him and even though the internet was public, it somehow felt like I had invaded his privacy. More than anything, I felt like I had hurt him, and that hurt me, because whether or not I wanted to admit it, there was an unwanted ache in my chest. I could feel myself falling for him, and that scared me.

An uncomfortable silence clouded the air for the better part of an hour. The only time he'd move his hands from the wheel was to feed Esmerelda Snowflake pieces of hash brown patty dipped in cock sauce. Even the goat liked cock sauce.

At one point, he finally looked over at me. "I'm sorry I snapped at you."

"It's okay. I'm sorry that I made you uncomfortable."

"I probably would have done the same thing if I were you. It's just… all the stuff online, it's all bullshit. That's not the way to get to know me. If you want to know something, just ask me. Those people that post shit don't really know me."

"I do feel like I know the real you."

"You probably know more than most people. I've been nothing but myself with you from the moment we met. Even though I give you shit, I feel comfortable around you, and that's rare for me."

There was that feeling in my chest again.

"I feel the same about you, and I don't really understand it. I just know I'm really glad that we crossed paths."

He tapped the bobblehead. "Just think…if you'd never picked up Mr. Obama here, who knows where we'd both be right now?" He pointed to the backseat. "Where would this beast be right now?"

"Probably passed out on the side of the road."

Austin glanced back at the goat. "Instead, he's eating our food and sleeping with both of us. No thanks to me. It was all you." He flashed a sexy side glance and startled me when he put his hand on my knee, triggering a sudden rush of desire. "You're sweet. You have a good heart. That prick, Dallas, is gonna be sorry someday." When he took his hand away, I longed for its return. What he'd said also sent shivers throughout my body. An indescribable feeling overwhelmed me. I didn't know how to respond, so I turned on the radio. Good Vibrations by the Beach Boys happened to be on.

Austin turned up the volume. "Look at that! They're singing about you and your magic wand, Princess."

I covered my mouth in laughter, and we both cracked up. We'd finally broken through the earlier tension, and that gave me a sense of relief.

After we stopped for lunch and had driven for several more hours, Austin turned to me. "Are you in a rush to get to California by a certain time?"

"I don't start my new position for another week, and the house I'm renting is fully furnished, so not really. Why?"

"Care to take a little detour before darkness falls?"

"Sure. I'd be up for that. What do you have in mind?"

"Somewhere rock hard and deep." He winked.

Well, that piqued my curiosity.

We parked the car near the perfect spot overlooking the steep rocky walls of the Grand Canyon. Its beauty was overwhelming.

"Oh my God, Austin. I can't believe I hadn't thought of stopping here myself. I've always wanted to see it in person. It hadn't dawned on me that it was right on our way. It's so breathtaking."

I looked over at him and saw that he'd been staring at me instead of out toward the majestic peaks.

"Yeah. It's very beautiful," he said in a low voice.

"Let's take a picture."

With the Canyon as the backdrop, Austin snapped a selfie of us with his phone. He then texted it to me so I'd have it. The snapshot came out so good. The sun was shining into the brown of his eyes, and we both looked so happy and at peace. It made me wish this moment could go on forever, that we never had to leave this place.

As we sat looking out into a blaze of red colors while the sun set over the panoramic scenery, Austin suddenly said, "Tell me about your family."

"My mother lives back in New York. She wasn't happy about me moving at all. I'm her only child. But ever since she remarried, I've felt like she hasn't needed me as much. My father died a year after I graduated from law school, so at least he got to see me live out his dream, which was that I become a lawyer like him."

"It was his dream, but not yours…" he said in understanding.

"No. It's really not what I wanted."

"What is your dream?"

"I just want to be happy and fulfilled, but I have no clue what that even means anymore or how to get there. So much is up in the air right now for me. I feel like I'm at a crossroads in my life."

"That's not the worst thing in the world. Sounds like a good time to find yourself, especially since no one is tying you down."

"Yeah, I suppose."

"Speaking of which, I think we definitely scared off Dallas The Ass for good."

Our laughter at his comment caused an echo.

I stretched my arms and stared up at the sky. "You know what? I'm definitely happy right now. This—our little adventure—has been good for my soul."

He flashed a sincere smile. "You have a good soul. I could see that about you straight away despite your little bitch façade. You know why you're happy?"

"Why?"

"Because you're finally loosening up."

"I guess you took the stick out of my ass while I was sleeping in the tent last night then?"

"Yup. Burned it in the campfire." He nudged me with his shoulder.

I smiled and changed the subject off of me. "What about your family? Where are they?"

Austin paused and scratched his chin. "My dad died of pancreatic cancer a few years after moved to California."

"I'm so sorry."

"I don't have a sibling but my best friend, Dez, is kinda close to it. He's two years older than me. He was with me through all of the bullshit that happened and he was my first friend when I first arrived in California. His sister got into a load of shit a few months ago and she needed us, so I've been pretty busy ever since the band broke up."

"What happened?"

"It's a long story, but basically, she took up with a drug dealer and started using as well. It was a fucking nightmare."

"God, that's awful."

"I felt a lot of guilt because she's like my sister, too. Dez and I were supposed to be looking out for her. I had my head stuck so far up my ass with the band that I didn't know how bad things were with Didi."

"Where is she now?"

"She shares our house at the moment."

"Is she okay?"

"She's straightened up a lot, although she's still a work in progress. She's not with that motherfucker anymore. That's the main thing."

"And your Mom?"

"I was coming back from visiting her when I ran into you, actually. She's living in Miami temporarily now to be closer to my grandma. My Gram is dying. But my mother was also living in California near us before Gram got sick."

"I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother."

"Thanks."

"I think it was really cool of you to be there for Didi."

"Well, my life had been nothing but selfish up until then. Nothing should ever come before family. I learned that the hard way. They mean everything to me."

"They're lucky to have you. I wish I had a bigger family."

"You'll have one of your own someday."

"I'd like to, but I'm not sure it's in the cards for me. I haven't had the best luck with men."

"Don't tell me there were bigger douchebags than Dallas?"

I chuckled. "Along the same lines."

"Let me guess. After you broke up, I bet they all came running back. Am I right?"

Pausing, I said, "Now that I think about it… yeah. I've only had a few serious boyfriends, but they all did come back at one point or another asking for a second chance. How did you figure that?"

"Wild guess."

"I don't understand."

"Girls like you are hard to find."

"Girls like me? Explain."

"Okay. It's not hard to find a beautiful woman, right? Definitely not hard to find a smart woman. And there are definitely some women with good hearts. But in my experience, it's extremely rare to find the whole package."

"Don't even try to say you have trouble finding women, Austin. You could have anyone you wanted."

He squinted his eyes at me. "Is that what you think?"

"Am I wrong? You're not a chick magnet?"

"Crazy psycho bitch magnet, maybe."

"You've never found the whole package?"

"The one time I thought I had, it turned out I was dead wrong. I thought it was love, but in retrospect, it was merely infatuation."

"Was that Brooke?"

His expression turned sullen as he looked down. "Yeah."

"What happened?"

"Brooke was my fiancé."

"Wow. You were going to marry her?"

"Yeah. Proposed to her three months into the relationship. Not too smart."

"She's gorgeous."

"You're prettier," he said without hesitation.

"And you're a fucking liar."

"I have no reason to lie. I've seen her without makeup. I've seen you without makeup. I'm telling you that you're prettier."

From the pictures I'd seen, Brooke was brunette, thin and conventionally beautiful. With my unruly auburn waves and curvy frame, I looked nothing like her.

"How can you say that? She's a friggin supermodel. How can I possibly compete with that?"

"Your beauty is more natural. Your hair is out of place and wild and I always want to play with those curls at the end. It's sexy. I mentally play connect the dots with those small freckles that you can barely see around your nose. Your ass is pretty great too."

Feeling suddenly shy, I grinned nervously and briefly looked away before asking, "What happened with her?"

"Well, as you know from your stalking me, Brooke's a small celebrity in her own right. I'd met her at a nightclub right around the time we were first signed to the record label. She stuck by me for a while after the band broke up. She really enjoyed the limelight that came along with my sudden and odd fame. But as the months went on, her excitement started to wear off. I wasn't enough for her anymore. When I'd gone through a bit of a depression, I stopped wanting to go out. She kept on with it and eventually took up with one of my bandmates behind my back. She's married to him now with two kids."

"Wow. What a cunt."

Austin bent his head back in laughter. "Princess, did you just use the C word?"

"Yup. First time in my life, but it was worth it."

"I didn't know you had such a dirty mouth."

"Neither did I, but damn, it felt good to say it."

"I liked hearing you say it. I think you should shout it out into the vast wide open canyon in fact."

"You think so?"

"Yeah. Do it. Do it! Shout it out."

"Cunt!"

"Say it again louder!"

"Cunt!" my voice echoed.

"Again."

"CUNT!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

We heard a thump against the window coming from the car parked just behind us. Austin hopped up to check on things. "Ah, crap. You scared the shit out of Mutton. He just dropped down."

"Oh no."

"That's not all."

"What is it?" I got up and ran toward him.

"When I say scared the shit out of him… I now mean literally. Bugger took a dump all over your backseat."

"What?"

After Austin did his best to clean the mess with some Wet Ones wipes, the mood of our Grand Canyon excursion had officially been ruined. It was getting too dark to enjoy it anyway.

"Do you mind if we don't camp tonight?" I asked. "I'd like to shower and sleep in a bed."

"What do you say we go find a hotel near here, have a nice dinner, hot showers and call it a night? I'd like to sleep in your bed, too."

"What did you say?"

"I said I'd like to sleep in a bed, too."

"Oh."

"What if we can't find a hotel that will let us take him in?"

"We definitely won't. So, we're gonna have to sneak him in."

Austin stopped at a drugstore on the way to the hotel while I waited in the car. When he returned, he handed me a plastic bag containing bottles of water, snacks, duct tape and… diapers.

"You bought diapers?"

"Yes. Huggies Pull Ups. We're figuring out how to put one on him, especially if he's got the runs, and we're taking him into a nice hotel."

"I can't believe I hadn't thought about this problem before. Had he not gone to the bathroom all this time?"

Austin pointed back behind us. "Did you see how much he shit just now? He was backed up for days!"

We both broke out into hysterical laughter, wiping tears from our eyes. When we finally calmed down, Austin started the car and drove toward the highway.

Somewhere in the middle of Arizona, Austin pulled into the parking lot of a pretty high end hotel about ten minutes off the interstate. After I got our room keys, we came up with a plan where I would distract the front desk clerk while Austin snuck the goat in. He'd wrapped him in one of my comforters and sped past the desk and into the elevator.

Austin had the door adjoining our separate rooms open when I got upstairs.

He'd already managed to put two Pull Ups on Esmerelda Snowflake, wrapping some tape around the top to secure them. Austin hadn't noticed me, and I watched as the goat jumped into his arms and licked his face.

"Alright, buddy. Calm down. You're a good buddy, you know that? A good buddy."

"You're being so sweet with him."

Austin turned his head toward me suddenly, surprised to see me standing there. "Bugger's growing on me."

"I know the feeling."

Because you're growing on me.

"I was thinking I'd go out and get us something nice to eat. Do you like wine?"

"I do. I've actually been dying for a glass."

"What kind do you like?"

"Any kind of white."

"I like red. I'll get both."

"That sounds great." I smiled. "Do you know where you're going?"

"This map here says there's a strip of restaurants and a liquor store about two miles down the road."

"Alright. I think I'll take a shower while you're gone."

"Okay. Any special requests for dinner?"

"Surprise me."

He left, and I retreated to the luxurious bathroom. As the hot water poured down on me, all of the emotions I'd been struggling with the past few days seemed to pummel me all at once. It hit me that we were on the final leg of this trip now. I still had no clue if Austin and I would simply go our separate ways once we got to his stop or if he was interested in more. Based on that phone call I'd overheard, clearly, there was something he was keeping from me. I never flat out asked him if there was currently someone else when he admitted to a "complicated" situation. Even knowing that was a possibility, I couldn't help my feelings for him. Austin was the only thing that felt right about my life right now—the only thing that felt like home for as long as I could remember.

I threw a t-shirt on along with some cotton shorts and tried to watch a little HBO while I waited for Austin. Esmerelda Snowflake hopped on the bed next to me. An hour went by, but Austin hadn't returned. With each passing minute, an uneasy feeling grew in my gut.

What if he never came back?

It was a foolish thought. He'd given me no reason to believe that. Still, my reaction was one of slight panic suddenly. Maybe I was just exhausted from the trip, a little delusional. When another half-hour passed, I called his phone. There was no answer.

With each minute, the panic grew, and my eyes started to swell. I couldn't help it. I knew it was probably an overreaction, but I'd already lost control of my emotions in the shower, and his not returning was adding fuel to the fire.

The door suddenly opened, and I rushed to wipe my tears.

"My God, that was a cluster fuck," he groaned.

Austin was holding two bags and dropped them down on the desk in my room when he noticed me frantically wiping my eyes.

"Ally, are you crying? Did something happen?"

"No. No, I'm fine. It's nothing."

He walked toward me. "It doesn't look like nothing. What the hell is going on?"

"You were gone so long. I called your phone, and there was no answer. I started to think maybe…"

Shit.

He blinked repeatedly. "You thought I wasn't coming back?"

"It was just a fleeting thought. Deep down, I knew it was ridiculous but couldn't seem to help it. It's been a long trip, and I think I'm just tired."

Austin gently wiped the tears from my eyes with his thumb. "I'm sorry you got scared." He took my chin in his hands and turned my face to meet his eyes. "I wouldn't do that to you."

My heart raced as he pulled me into him. My body seemed to melt into his solid, warm frame. His heart thundered against mine as he hugged me tightly. I never wanted him to let me go.

When he pulled back, cold air replaced the warmth of his body. "Can we please erase this from memory? I asked. "It was a lapse in sanity." I wiped the last of my tears and sniffled. "What took you so long, though?"

He didn't answer. He was still just looking at me with a serious expression as he examined my face. He seemed to be contemplating something. I couldn't recall him ever looking that serious before. Finally, he said, "I had to go to two different restaurants. The first one told me it would be an hour wait, and the second was no better." He lifted his phone out of his pocket and connected it to a charger. "My phone died. That's why you couldn't reach me."

I shook my head, muttering to myself, feeling so stupid for overreacting.

He handed me a cup. "Let's forget this and have a nice dinner, eh?"

Trying my best attempt at a genuine smile, I said, "That sounds good."

We sat across from each other at the small table in my room as we ate in silence. Austin had ordered three entrees from an Italian restaurant: eggplant lasagna, chicken parmesan and pasta primavera.

He poured wine into the two paper cups. "I know it's a lot of food, but I figured he'd want to eat as well," he said, placing a plate of food on the ground for Esmerelda Snowflake.

The tension in the air never let up all throughout dinner. I just kept pouring more Chardonnay to numb my feelings.

Austin went straight back to his room after we cleaned up. That left me feeling empty and confused, like maybe I'd freaked him out with my crying episode. Having had too much wine, I lay on my bed and stared up at the ceiling, which seemed to be slightly spinning. With my buzz granting me false courage, I got up and opened the adjoining door.

The shower was running while the goat waited outside the closed bathroom door. Lying down on Austin's bed, I curled into the thick down-feathered pillow. When he emerged from the bathroom, he stopped short of the bed. He was wrapped in nothing but a white towel. His thick hair was wet and slicked back. Droplets of water slowly ran down his chest. So overcome with pent up desire, I licked my lips. My heart was beating out of my chest.

"What are you doing in here, Ally?"

I sat up suddenly. "Do you not want me here?"

He closed his eyes briefly then said, "It's late. I think it's better if you go back to your room."

That was not like him.

My stomach dropped. Humiliated couldn't even begin to describe how I felt as I said, "Oh. Yeah. You're right. I didn't realize how late it was."

He just stood there, towering over me with his large hands gripping his sides as I walked past him.

I returned to my room alone, tossing and turning as I ruminated over why all of a sudden he'd turned cold. Austin had sent me so many signals today that he wanted me. We'd opened up to each other. We'd laughed. He'd told me I was pretty. Maybe I misread everything. Maybe he was just being nice. Maybe he was attracted to me but didn't really want me for himself. Maybe the crying freaked him out. I was more confused than ever. The only thing that seemed certain: by the end of this trip, I was going to end up hurt.

for those wondering: this story will be 8 chapters long, but there'll be a second part to it. i just don't know if i should post it in here (it might be confusing for other people) or starting a new story (in a sequel kind of format).

thank you very much for your reviews! :)