A/N- Hey guys! Sorry I took so long updating, I've been doing some important real life stuff and had to take a short break from writing. I'm back now, hopefully for a while, and I'm here today with another Boss POV chapter for you all! Enjoy! IllusionsStars: Thank you so much for your encouraging review! I wrote a Matt Miller fanfic I guess because I really enjoyed Matt's chemistry with the Boss in game and when I tried to look up fanfiction about that I enjoyed involving them, I only found one or two. If you ever want to read another MattxBoss fanfic, I highly recommend La Théorie Triangulaire De L'Amour and its sequel. It's very good. Mondlichtvogel: I'm sorry I took so long! and, as always, thank you. Remi: thanks, I was hoping that would come across well. Ace: read and find out ;) FeistyGreenSnake: I'm not sure if I've said this already, but I play on the PS3 ^^ I will make the game more violent and emotional from here on out, haha. Please stick with me! Taserqueen: thank you! your support means so much to me! Guest: that really is wow! Not exactly what I was aiming for but I'm glad I could make that happen.
Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever own Saints Row or any of its characters. The content of this story was not meant to insult anyone in any way, shape or form. Rated T for violence, coarse language, and mild sexual content.
Chapter Thirteen: Priorities
The first time I kissed Matt Miller, I knew it would lead to one of two things: either a) I would end up regretting it, or b) he would. After he left me to join that stupid British version of the CIA, I figured that the former had turned out to be true. I regretted kissing him. I regretted getting attached to him. I'd never allowed myself to fall in love with him, but it still hurt when I found out that he was leaving. His departure only solidified my opinion of relationships and just how pointless they really are. I had the Saints and I had my dignity, what more did I need? Not Matt fucking Miller, I can guarantee that.
I thought that I was seeing him for the last time when he walked out the door that day, but I ended up being proven wrong barely more than a year later. Matt was one of the handlers on that Cyrus Temple-gone-terrorist mission we got put on with this woman named Asha Odekar and, unfortunately, the mic in my bullet-proof suit was malfunctioning too much for me to curse him out the way I wanted to. Kinzie gave him an earful in my place and I was thankful. After I'd kicked Temple's ass (is anyone even surprised by how awesome I am anymore?) he somehow had enough time to set off that detonator anyway. I ended up hopping onto a nuclear missile without thinking the whole thing through. Was I ready to give my life for my country? Probably not, but something in me told me that I couldn't live with myself if I let D.C. get blown up on my watch. The most surprising moment of that day came when Matt begged me not to give up my life to save my country. That was when I realized that he'd never actually stopped loving me at all. In fact, his feelings for me were strong enough to justify an entire country going to shit and him losing both his job and his MI6 ranking. To anyone else this might not have seemed very impressive, but I know Matt. I knew the only thing that rivaled his obsession with himself was his love for me. That hadn't changed and so I forgave him.
Our relationship was repaired to an extent and we began talking on a regular basis again. It wasn't long before I was feeling that same possessive tug I used to feel around him with every email he sent me. I didn't like that. He left me, although I had realized since then that he had understandable reasons for doing so, and I wanted to hate him for it, but I couldn't. Hating him is something I am incapable of.
It's unfair how strongly I feel that Matt belongs to me, and I know it; I have just about as much claim over him now as anyone else. I can admit this to myself fairly easily, but there's no denying that my hatred of Zinyak hadn't fully solidified until the moment I realized that his alien hoards had taken Matt Miller from me. Watching him being abducted was, without a doubt, the fourth most terrible event of my life. It was that moment that convinced me I would do anything to destroy his captor and rescue him, along with the rest of my friends, whether I lived through it or not.
I hadn't thought that one of the biggest obstacles to this notion would be my press secretary. As soon as CID told me he could help me get my friends out of the simulation, I'd known who I would go after first. Besides the obvious reasons (I'm talking about my overly possessive nature), it was clear that Kinzie needed his help. There was no way she could destroy Zinyak's world without the help of the one and only master hacker we knew for certain had been taken onto his ship. Kinzie Kensington isn't the sort of girl who likes to admit when she needs help, though, and she's positively stellar at holding grudges. It occurred to me later on that I should have expected her negativity towards the order of my priorities.
"No way." she says firmly, "No way in hell."
"Kinzie…" my voice is a warning and one she knows well, even though I've never really used it on her before. My press secretary goes pink and answers me stiffly.
"You can't ask me to help out the person who ruined my life before we've even tried to find any of our other friends!" she snaps, "It's not fair!"
I sigh and run a hand through my slightly overgrown hair. I'd really like to get a haircut, but unfortunately neither Kinzie nor Keith know how to give one. It was my belief that upon the destruction of the Earth, though, we'd grow up a bit and forgive our enemies for their past misdeeds and whatnot. We should all be on the same side now. Clearly, Kinzie hasn't gotten the memo.
"I can and I have." I am adamant, but as Kinzie continues to glower at me I start to remember all that she has done for us until now. Maybe she's being childish, but I can forgive it. She's worth that much.
"Look, Kinzie," I soften my tone, "I know you don't like him and you don't really have a reason to, but we need him, okay? What if something happened and we were stuck out here without you? We'd be screwed."
She looks like she's about to argue, but seems to change her mind halfway through. I'm not sure what it was exactly that brought about her change of heart, but she reluctantly agrees to let CID help me break into whatever simulated prison Zinyak's stored Matt's mind away in. I'm going to get him back.
When I enter the Broken Shilelagh I expect that I'll find nothing more than the pool tables, stupid arcade games, and terrible booze that I'm so used to seeing there. Before I know it, though, the room starts to shimmer and then fray at the edges until I'm standing in what looks like the inside of a lightbulb. The brightness engulfs me and I end up in an entirely different place altogether.
Reality returns to me in the form of something that reminds me of Matt's Nyte Blayde-based cyber world. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that Zinyak trapped him in his own creation. Kinzie verbally directs me through the simulation with a forceful hand, spawning me a tank when I need to blow up a barrier and bringing back the three dimensional world when the Zin overlord forces me into a 2D one. I eventually come to a stop beside a familiar looking motorcycle and the tank dissolves around me.
"This is the bike Matt gave me." I state as I climb onto the X-2 Phantom. Kinzie lets out a sigh and explains the indulgence.
"I know. I'm not trying to say I support your relationship with him or anything, but this was custom-made for you. You're better with it than with any other motorcycle."
I grin wryly and rev the Phantom, pleased that being on it feels familiar despite the fact that I haven't ridden it for months. Kinzie and I are lulled into a false sense of security as I race down the path she'd pointed out to me until Zinyak begins blathering on about something or another.
"...is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury signifying nothing." he eventually takes a long enough pause to allow me to break in.
"You stole that from Macbeth."
The alien fuck snickers and the sound echoes annoyingly in my mind.
"I'm surprised you know that."
When I get to the end of the road, he dumps me unceremoniously into a wide room bordered by walls in varying shades of gray. Images of events from my life are flashing on the walls and two exits to the room are spread out in front of me. One of the doorways is lit up red and the other blue. As I look around and voice my confusion, I realize that I've lost contact with Kinzie.
"Before you, I place a choice." Zinyak's voice reverberates through the room, "Walk through the blue door and continue to face more failures at saving those closest to you. Your race will live on borrowed time and will, through your violent arrogance, wind up extinct."
I step further into the room and examine the images on the walls more closely. I spot Johnny in a few of them and my elder brother's bloodied corpse in another, but my heart doesn't constrict painfully until I see Carlos with his face mangled beyond recognition. It's been more than eight years and remembering that still hurts more than anything else.
"Walk through the red door, however, and I will release the humans whom I have collected." my enemy continues, "I will give them amnesty and even a ship from my fleet to do with as they see fit. However, in choosing this door you will willingly submit yourself to execution. This is the moment where you can prove to be the savior of humanity or its absolute destroyer."
It immediately crosses my mind that Zinyak could be lying, but I don't speak as I consider my options. I'm the president of the United States and it would be my civic duty to give my life for the people of the world, but in doing so I'd give up so much else. For starters, I'd never get to say goodbye to Matt.
"What the fuck is this?" I growl, buying myself time to decide. I didn't specify but I know Zinyak understands that I'm talking about the images on the walls.
"This is your life as it led you to this point. All your past violence, crimes, and losses on display to remind you of one simple fact: Regardless of what I have done to your world, you were its greatest threat."
"Bullshit."
"The evidence is irrefutable! How many have died because you decide driving on the sidewalk is faster than the road, because you used a rocket in place of a bullet, because you wouldn't submit to my rule? In the end you were more of a danger than I ever was."
"Shut up, I get it."
I lower myself to the floor and tuck my legs under me. I'm so tired. It's difficult to keep up a facade of strength around Kinzie and Keith, and I'm basically alone now for the first time since the Zin arrived to take us over. I press a palm to my forehead and bite my lower lip in an effort to hold back my tears.
"Dying would be the noble thing to do."
I ignore him. He's right, of course, but my decision can't be made based solely on what is noble or what is selfish. Zinyak might be lying, but he also might be telling the truth. What is one life compared to the lives of thousands? My life, even with the possibility of this being a lie, isn't much to give up.
...but if I do give it up, I'm giving Matt up, and Shaundi, and Pierce. God knows what Zinyak will do to them without me there to stop him. Kinzie and Keith, too, may not make it too far without me. Are the thousands of lives stored away here worth the lives of me and my friends? I'm not sure. I push myself up and take another step forward.
I glance at the red door and I know that I can't take it. It may not be noble, and it sure as hell is selfish, but I can't die before I see Matt again. I have to save him.
"I'm sorry," I whisper to the thousands of lives I'm betraying.
I take five steps and burst through a barrier of blue.
When I rematerialize, I see that I'm in one of those vintage text adventure games and I have to click my way through outer space, some Edgar Allan Poe style dungeon, a tropical island, and an encounter with a dominatrix to get anywhere close to the man I need to find.
"So, why are you here?" the text reads. The dominatrix waits as I read through the answers.
I WANT TO DESTROY ZINYAK.
I WANT TO RESCUE MATT MILLER.
I don't even hesitate before clicking on the second option
"Sad, I wasn't done with him yet." she sighs. "Then you will have to fight Matt Miller's most feared opponent."
I roll my eyes at these words and pick "AND WHO'S THAT?".
Killbane appears on the screen and I skim over a sentence that includes him vaguely threatening me and insulting Matt. When I virtually ask him where Matt is, he finally appears before me. He's just a collection of pixels on a screen right now, but I'm still ridiculously thrilled to see him. I click on the "LET'S DO THIS." option.
Killbane laughs. "Do you really think a wimp like Matty here can defeat me?" Matt Miller cowers a bit. "I don't think I can do this."
"I KNOW YOU CAN BEAT HIM, MATT."
The cursor blinks for a few seconds longer than usual before Matt answers me.
Matt Miller weakly nods. "Alright then."
Through a process of trial and error, I manage to encourage Matt to the point where he punches Killbane three times in a row. The pixel figure of Killbane appears unconscious on the floor and Matt hovers over him, his arms raised in triumph.
Matt Miller shouts, "I did it! I won!"
I smile as the text appears on the screen, already kicking myself for the warmth I feel towards him. I'm so close to having him back and so close to seeing him in person, but I can't get carried away. Even when Matt's back we can't ever again be what we were before. With the world being the way it is now, getting that attached again to anyone will definitely be a mistake.
"TIME TO GO, MATT." I choose this over praising him to put some distance between us.
A large, ringing device appears before Matt Miller. A coiled wire connects two pieces, and a massive dial, not unlike the chamber of a revolver, rests in it's center. What should Matt do?
PICK UP THE PHONE is the only option I have to choose from. I click it and close my eyes as the world disappears around me.