You Know I'm No Good

Chapter 2

Leah's POV

Flashback: 10 Years Ago

"Daddy please don't let go..." I said panicking as he slowly began to push the back of my bicycle to help me move forward. It was Christmas morning and my parents had gotten me a bike without training wheels. As soon as I saw it I wanted to try. Dad took me outside in the cold driveway while Mom and Seth watched from inside.

I was so afraid of him letting go of me, letting me fall.

"Sweetheart...I'll never let you go." He said with pure assurance in his voice. I immediately calmed down and looked behind me to see if he was still standing there behind me. He was.

I was terrified, but knowing he would always be behind me t push me forward made me fearless.

"Look Leah...you're doing it!" He yelled, happily. When I looked down at my feet to see all the rushing pavement moving past, I turned around smiling, looking back at my dad who was a few steps behind me.

It was in that exact moment where things started getting out of control and I started to lose control of my bike. You see, In this story life is sort of like the bike.

To keep your balance you have to keep on moving. If you stop...you fall. And I've fallen. I've fallen a few times actually.

I've never gotten back up. Metaphorically or Realistically.

Present Time:

A Week Later

"Mommy where we going?" Jaden asked curiously, looking outside the window. We had just gotten off the plane and were heading over to the house now. I wanted to skip the church part for Jaden's sake. He's not like most little boys. He's sensitive, scared and insecure. He'd cry through the whole service after seeing Dad's body. I figured I'd go to the funeral home and say goodbye by myself.

He'd been all types of questions ever since we left the house back in L.A. I wanted to answer them trust, I do, but what do I say.

'Oh we're just going to see a bunch of random people who haven't seen me in four years and have never even known about your existence. Oh and by the way your grandpa died.' That seems kid of harsh don't you think?

"Mommy?" He asked, looking at me suspiciously. "What's wong?" I pulled over from the highway to the curb and turned off the car, turning down the radio.

"Jaden, we're going to a funeral." I said turning. I could already feel the tears well up in my eyes. I quickly wiped them away, before he noticed. He gave me a confused look.

"What's that?"

"It's when a lot of people say goodbye to someone they love."

"Why?"

"Because that person is gone to be with God...up in heaven."

"So they went to sleep in the sky?" He asked, with some expression of understanding on his little features.

"Yeah." I said, smiling sadly down at him.

"Who went to heaven, Mommy?" He asked so innocently, with his big blue eyes pouring into my soul. A tear fell from my eye.

"My daddy." I said, breaking down. During the past week I hadn't really mourned much. I just...felt nothing until now. I was wiping my face when I heard the seat belt un-click. When I turned to the side, Jaden climbed over to me and hugged me, petting my hair, putting his cheek against my wet one.

"It's ok mommy…No cry." He said sweetly. I hugged him tighter to me before kissing his lips and sitting him back in his seat.

"Thank you Jaden...I love you so much."

I ran my hands over his crisp black suit and kissed his cheek, before putting his seat belt back on him.

"I love you more Momma." He said making me smile. If it wasn't for him I'd still be on the ground.

I pulled out and got back on he road. We were only a few minutes away, thank god. I still needed to get my shit together. I needed to figure how I was going to handle everything. I mean I was going to introduce Jaden to everyone. Were they going to accept him?

After about an hour more of strenuous driving we arrived. There were about twenty different cars lined up outside, and that made me fucking nervous. All these people.

"Is this your house Mommy?" Jaden asked.

"It was when I was little…"

"Like me?" He asked.

"Yeah…like you. You ready?" I asked un-buckling my seat belt, then his after he nodded. I got out and grabbed my black trench coat. I was wearing a simple black sheath dress with black heels and the pearl earrings my mom gave me when I was fifteen. My hair was up high off my shoulders in a neat up-do.

"Yeah."

"Alright…here goes nothing." I said grabbing his hand and leading him to the door. When we got to white oak door I remember so well, I took a deep breath and knocked.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

My heart raced as I heard the footsteps coming towards the door. I was so fucking nervous. I picked up Jaden and put him on my hip. When I heard the knob turn my heart skipped a beat.

The door opened.

"Mom."

REVIEW PLEASE! TELL ME HOW YOU FEEL? AND WHAT YOU WANT NEXT? BECAUSE HONESTLY...I DON'T KNOW!

CLICK THAT BUTTON

l l l

V V V