A/N- First things first, thank you all so much for your reviews since my last update. I know it must be hard waiting for me to get my shit together long enough to post a new chapter every once in a while, but you guys do it and I could never thank you enough for that. This is the second to last chapter of this fic (hence the chapter title Penultimatum) and although it's not exactly everything I hoped it would be when I started, I hope you guys enjoy it. The final, epilogue sort of chapter is up next and to be completely honest I'm only sure about half of the stuff that happens there, but I promise that it's coming. I WILL FINISH THIS STORY. That's a promise.
Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever, own Saints row or any of its characters. The content of this story was not meant to insult anyone in any way, shape, or form. Rated T for violence and coarse language.
Chapter Twenty: Penultimatum
"Hey, Shaundi-urgh!"
The Boss's awakening is rather short-lived as Shaundi interrupts by throwing herself at the taller girl, wrapping her arms so tightly around her that for a moment she struggles to breathe. I exchange a glance with Kinzie and stifle my laughter, but the redheaded tech-expert is significantly braver than I and snickers quite unabashedly. After another couple greetings, during which Pierce cries, Asha rolls her eyes, and Johnny high-fives the Boss, Benjamin King clears his throat and nods towards a figure standing in a shadowed corner of sim-pod central. He looks rather cleaner than I remember, more himself definitely despite the dark bags beneath his eyes, and I find that I still can't help the fury that bubbles up in my stomach at the sight of him.
"President…" Keith David begins uncertainly, and I note that this is the first time I've heard him speak without confidence, "I don't-"
The Queen is across the room before he can finish the thought and she punches him hard across the face, effectively cutting him off. The sound of that punch reverberates around the room, a crack so loud that Pierce flinches visibly in response.
"You betrayed me!" she shouts, grabbing him by the collar, "What the hell was that?! What the hell was that?!"
Keith David just looks at her, waits until she's calm enough to not slap him every time he opens his mouth before he deems it safe enough for him to answer. Smart move.
"A mistake. Loyalty is the most important thing to you, I'm know that, but it's my job to do what I believe is right-even if it means endangering someone I care about."
"Endangering." Kinzie repeats, scowling, "Zinyak would have killed her! And the rest of us!"
"I say we kick him out of the airlock," Johnny suggests, and Shaundi nods fervently.
"Seems a little harsh." Pierce mutters. The Boss looks at her friends and then at Keith David, and then at me. I shake my head. As much as I'd like to never see this bastard again, it seems like a bad idea to get rid of one of the few good fighters we have.
"I was wrong and I can't undo what I did, but I want to fix this." Keith David says as the Boss loosens her grip on his collar, "I'm not asking you to trust me, but I'll do whatever it takes to defeat Zinyak."
"He was never going to keep his end of the bargain." I remind the man.
He frowns. "I know. Maybe on some level I always knew, but I felt I had to take the chance."
The Boss screws her eyes shut and presses her hands to her face before taking a step away from the man in front of her.
"You can stay. Just get out of my sight."
Keith David lets out a quiet sigh, but turns and leaves the room just as the Boss asked him to. King and Johnny trail after him, presumably to keep an eye on him in case he changes his mind again, and I make an attempt at prying the Boss's palms away from her eyes.
"You did the right thing." I assure her as I pull her hands down. She purses her lips and scowls, purposely not meeting my gaze.
"No, I did the easy thing. It's not the same."
"Damn, that was deep." Pierce speaks up, "Are we all gonna sit around writin' poetry now or are we gonna go find Zinyak and kick his ass?"
Shaundi glowers at him, "We literally just got the Boss back, don't you think she deserves a break before we send her back out there?"
"I didn't mean-"
"Actually," Kinzie interrupts, moving towards the Boss, "We might not really have the time for a break. Zinyak's bound to be working harder to find us now that we stole the Boss back."
"She needs rest before we force her back into the simulation." I support Shaundi's earlier statement. The Saints Queen shoots me a sneer and wrenches her hands out of my own, but the entire gesture seems half-hearted.
"Don't you tell me what I need, Matt Miller." she turns to Kinzie, "I can fight. What's our next move?"
"No, Matt's right." Kinzie says, and everyone looks surprised by her change in opinion. She merely shakes her head and continues, "I said we might not have much time left, but that doesn't necessarily mean it has to be you who goes out and finds the parts for me and Matt's key."
"Key?" Shaundi asks, her eyebrows raised, and Kinzie nods happily.
"It's genius really. Mostly my idea, but Matt would throw a fit if I didn't give him some credit."
"Yeah, that really doesn't tell us shit about what it is." Pierce points out. I can see that Kinzie is gearing up to launch into a long-winded explanation of our "Plan B" and latch onto the Boss's arm once more, forcibly dragging her out of the room when she puts up a pitifully feeble fight.
"They can do this part without you." I tell her, ignoring her attempts to free herself, "You haven't physically eaten or slept for just over a full day. The last thing we need is for you to collapse in the middle of virtual reality."
"Right, because I'm really in danger of malnutrition inside a fucking simulation!"
"Who's the tech expert here?" I ask, and she begrudgingly admits that it's me, "Your mind can't function without rest and that means you won't function well in the simulation either. I'm not saying this to make you angry, I'm just trying to protect you."
We enter our makeshift kitchen and I force her into a seat around the ovular dining table before placing a tube of our usual space food-a Zin specialty apparently-in front of her. She glares at the plastic casing as if it's insulted her entire family on an extremely personal level.
"This shit's gross. I don't want it."
"You've eaten it plenty of times before."
"Well I'm sick of it. I'm sick of everything."
For one long moment I just look at her, contemplating everything we've been through in the past few hours. Common sense tells me that she needs to talk through whatever she's dealing with right now, but the Boss is terrifying when angered and dangerous in even the most peaceable of situations. If we'd been having this conversation a few days ago, I might have just let the subject drop. Today, however, something has changed. I'm braver, at least when it comes to her, and more certain of what I really mean to her.
"Talk to me."
She glances up at me, her eyes wide open in feigned innocence. "About what?"
"I'm not a moron." I say, frowning, "I've been in love with you for ages, I can tell when you're lying."
"Well, I'm not lying now."
Another few seconds pass between us during which each of us stare openly at the other, refusing to step down. Eventually, however, the Boss lets out a quiet huff, grits her teeth, and picks up the space food tube as if someone's physically forcing her to do it.
"You should have left me." she mutters abruptly before pressing the tube to her lips.
I take a seat across the table from her and rest my chin on my hands.
"What are you talking about?"
"Back in that sim-prison." she elaborates, and then places the space food back down, "You should have just left me. I didn't...I don't deserve to be here. Not after what happened." the Boss breaks off, staring down at her hands, "Maybe I never did."
"Don't be rid-"
"I'm so fucking selfish, Matt. Don't try to deny it, you know I am." she lowers her voice, "I let everyone die to save you. So many times. I made the wrong choice over and over again because the thought of losing them hurt less than losing you did."
"It's not that big of a deal." I lie.
"I'm not the kind of leader we need."
I roll my eyes, tiring of this dramatic exchange. "Look, you can keep repeating that as much as you want, but it doesn't change the fact that we wouldn't have gotten this far without you. You're fucked up. They know that. We are, all of us, completely batshit insane and that's why we get along so well."
Reluctantly, the Saints Queen lets out a giggle of laughter. "You're not wrong."
"And you're not going anywhere." I say firmly. "We'd be lost without you. I would-"
I stop myself from going on, but something about the way the Boss looks at me next tells me she knows what I meant to say. She reaches across the table and takes one of my hands in hers, winds our fingers together and squeezes gently. I gulp, nerve-wracking as it is to have her touch me again, and remind myself that I need to be braver before posing a question to her.
"Could we...do you mind if we talk about us?"
She smirks, her expression so familiar to me that it might have been my own. "Go ahead. It's your funeral."
I ignore the sarcastic comment tacked on to the end of her allowance and press on.
"Are we together again? I know you just went through something terrible and I don't at all mind waiting for you to make a decision if you need time, but I wanted to ask anyway."
"Honestly, Matt, I don't think we ever really broke up." she says, running her thumb across the back of my hand, "Well we did, but it didn't really feel like the end. Just like we were playing a game and we pressed pause so we could get our shit together."
My heart pounds in my chest as I lean across the table and kiss her soundly, tasting her mouth with mine. She seems surprised by my newfound sense of brazenness, but reciprocates quite happily.
"You used a video game metaphor to describe our relationship," I point out, and she laughs, "God, I love you so much."
She shakes her head, still smiling, and pulls me along with her as she leaves the table and turns towards her room.
"Before you get any ideas, this is me telling you that I don't have the energy to do anything even remotely sexual with you right now."
I grin. "Not even hand stuff?"
"Shut up," she says in a mocking tone, throwing me a forced glower, "We're sleeping. That's it."
"Fine, that's good. Great, even."
The Queen of the Saints looks at me as if she expected I'd say something else, but there truly is nothing else to say. I have her back. Things really are fine right now, good.
Great.
"It's our time now. Let's get this shit started."
Looking up at her, this woman we all admire so much, I'm suddenly struck by the realization that I-and no one else- am allowed to call her my own. The rest of the Saints burst into cheers and laughter all around me, but I can only beam at her and wait for that moment that always comes, a split-second pause during which she glances at me. It's heartwarming. It's adorable. She'd probably murder me if she ever caught me saying that, but still.
We break off and regather in pod central, where Kinzie explains the entirety of her three-part plan to get to Zinyak in words plain enough that even Pierce couldn't get something wrong. Eventually we come to the point where the Boss must choose her first two companions and, to everyone's surprise, she chooses Pierce and Shaundi.
"What?" she says in response to our questioning looks, "If Pierce is gonna fuck something up, it might as well be early on, right?"
"Wow. That's cold, Boss." Pierce deadpans as everyone else laughs. The Boss, still grinning, nods at me before she steps back into her usual simulation pod. We watch over the monitors as the trio drives through the city with me and Kinzie's key, flinching every time Pierce takes a sharp turn or the Boss blows up something she shouldn't have. Despite a number of setbacks, namely Zinyak attempting to stop them by destroying their truck, they eventually make it to the Syndicate Tower. CID helps them get inside and soon enough, Shaundi and Pierce awaken on the ship. The Boss, who has to assist CID as he forces the key into position within the tower, returns to us a little later, but really no worse for wear.
"Asha, King, you're next." she commands easily, but Asha glances over at me and begins to protest.
"I'd really feel more comfortable being paired with Matt."
The Boss gives my partner an apologetic look, but I know her well enough to guess what's going to follow that expression.
"I know, Asha, but I'm not gonna change my mind on this. Not this one." she pauses, and I can see that she's painfully aware of all the eyes watching her, "Can you accept that?"
Asha doesn't seem quite pleased with how things are turning out, but she, like the others, is clearly too alarmed by the Boss's suddenly even tone and serious expression to argue. She pats me on the shoulder and then steps forward to join the Queen of the Saints.
"If it helps you end Zinyak, I can accept nearly anything."
The Boss and Asha are both a force of nature, and their abilities, paired with the resourcefulness of Benjamin King, allow the three of them to defend the portals Kinzie is using to bring down the simulation just long enough for Paul to make his reappearance. While the Queen is simply ecstatic to see him, the strain he puts on the simulation turns out to be more than enough to bring the entire thing crashing down and it's suddenly a race against time to get her out of there. Kinzie is reasonably freaked by this turn of events, and Johnny even scuffles with Keith David in an attempt to go after her, but I, for once, feel irrationally calm. Something inside me is entirely too certain that this will not be the day the Queen of the Saints dies, and that something turns out to be right when she's back with us not moments later.
"She's a motherfucking robot," Pierce mutters to Gat as Kinzie repeats the last part of her plan to the Boss, "Saw her get shot like what, five times? Didn't even slow her down!"
"Those were virtual bullets you idiot." Shaundi remarks, rolling her eyes, and Gat lets out a low chuckle. Pierce looks like he's about ready to throw down with Shaundi, but luckily Kinzie interrupts before he can.
"We don't have time for this. Johnny, get over here."
Johnny Gat looks at Kinzie and then gestures to himself in a way that says 'me?'. Kinzie nods at him, frowning, and the Boss shoots me a small smile and uses a forefinger to order me to her. I do as she wants and step forward at the same time Gat does.
"You're in a good mood," I observe. Beside me Gat lets out this little huff that, with him, expresses an agreement.
"We're gonna win this, I know it." the Saints Queen says to both of us, "I just get this feeling sometimes-look, it's not important. I left the two of you for last because you're the ones I trust most to have my back when all hell breaks loose. Can you guys work together?"
I look over at Gat only to find him already staring at me (although it's hard to tell with those sunglasses of his), and although I feel a familiar bite of jealousy at the sight of him, that's all it is. A bite. He never had much staying power and I know that now.
"We'll be fine." I decide, and Gat nods right along. The Boss is beaming now as she brushes her hair out of her face and turns back to Kinzie. The redhead lets out a judgemental sort of sigh at the sight of our joyous leader but it's clear to all of us that the Boss's evident glee is reaching Kinzie as well, at least to some degree.
Kinzie and Shaundi work together to maneuver the ship back towards Zin central and we dock pretty close to where we had the last time we were here-when the Saints wanted to save Johnny Gat. As we rush through the hallways, chrome-colored and tinged by an ever-present red light, the Boss explains to us what exactly we're searching for inside the Zins' mothership. I already know what it is of course, I was half responsible for finding it after all, but Gat seems to know nothing about any of it.
"So this power suit-" he begins, but the Queen cuts him off.
"Power armor."
"Shut the fuck up," Gat says with a grin, "So this stupid suit is gonna give you powers? Actual ones, out here?"
"Yup. That Zinyak fucker won't know what hit him."
We come to an abrupt stop at this, and although I'm confused for about half a second I soon realize that we've come upon a large atrium filled to the brim with Zin warriors. The Boss grits her teeth and glances back at us just once before nodding reassuringly and charging forward, weapon raised and firing. Johnny Gat quickly follows suit and, after a split-second of hesitation, I follow him. Matt Miller the sixteen year-old hacking prodigy who was frightened of his own shadow doesn't live here anymore, I do. And I can't afford to be afraid.
It takes a long time to clear out the room, primarily because the Zin have superior technology and tougher skin on their side. Eventually, however, the Boss's superiority with all things that have to do with fighting overpower any advantages they have against us. She shoots one last Zin through the heart as he lies squirming on the floor and steps over him towards the exit on the far side of the atrium. We've all three come out of this battle with nothing more than a few cuts and bruises, and although I'm an atheist I'm tempted to thank some sort of God for this blessing.
"There's the armory," I say, pointing to a large set of doors on the opposite side of this hall. We run to it and the Boss immediately slams her shoulder against it as if she expects the entire world to bend to her will despite the rather obvious obstacle in our way.
"They're sealed, love," I tell her, fighting a smile, "We won't be able to open them with force."
The Boss throws me a burning glare and then nods towards an electronics panel behind me.
"Then get to hacking, Cybergod."
I narrow my eyes at her but do as she asks, turning towards the complicated panel and getting to work with ease. Perhaps this might have been difficult once but I've spent the last few months on an alien ship and I know my way around their technology now. Gat and the Boss work effortlessly together to keep further waves of Zin off my back for a few minutes, buying me the time I need to break through the network's firewall and force the armory door to open. With a happy smirk I move away from the panel and look around for the Boss. When my gaze catches hers, I'm slightly surprised by the fact that she doesn't seem to share in my pride.
"What's with the face?" Gat asks her before I can. The Saints Queen shakes her head and moves towards us.
"I thought it'd be easier to say goodbye," she admits. A moment passes during which all three of us are silent, but then Johnny Gat breaks the spell by pulling the Boss in for one of those weird chest-bump/handshake/hug things.
"We'll see you again in a few minutes." he reminds her. She chuckles and he steps back, leaving enough room for me to go to her and say my piece.
"I feel very strongly towards you."
The Boss raises a questioning eyebrow, prompting to me to explain myself better. I don't.
"Is that it?" she inquires, and I nod.
"I'll say more when we're done." I promise, grinning, "Just...come back alive, would you? For my sake."
For a brief moment she looks as if she's about to say something more, but then she merely shakes her head and pulls me down by my collar, pressing a firm but fleeting kiss on my lips.
"Promise." she mutters, and then turns towards the armory so quickly that I might have imagined our brief exchange. Johnny Gat bumps my shoulder blade with the butt of his rifle and nods towards the far side of the hallway when I give him a questioning look.
"We've gotta get back to the ship." he says, his expression softer than it usually is. I give the armory one last glance, a longing, lingering one, and then follow him back to the rest of the Saints.
Whatever Zinyak had been on the outside-pink, mottled skin; ugly, reptilian-like face- he was, as most beings are, flesh and bone within, and that is all I can think about in the lapse of time during which the Boss rips his head and part of his spine right from the rest of his body. This might seem like an unnecessary show of violence to the Zin onlookers, an audience of alien creatures, but I know that she'd once promised Zinyak that she would end him in just this way.
The Boss never goes back on her promises.
I stare openly, my heart racing with a mixture of shock and awe, as the Queen of the Saints tosses Zinyak's disembodied head aside and ascends the steps to his throne (a structure that extends from the floor as if it's sole purpose in life is to accommodate her every whim) and she sits upon it so readily that I have to wonder if it was meant for her all along. Holographic screens appear around her in a spherical formation and on them we can see the denizens of the Zin kingdom kneeling down to offer her their fealty. It's so easy. So simple. Kinzie had always postulated that they'd put up more of a fight when the time came, but it's now quite clear to everyone that she was very much in the wrong. We approach the throne as a group and Shaundi speaks first, her hands on her hips and an indignant expression on her persistently scowling face.
"You've gotta be kidding me." she says, but Kinzie shrugs and smiles at the taller girl.
"'Keep what you kill'. It's a classic."
"What are we supposed to do now?" Benjamin King inquires to the crowd at large, and the Boss glances around as if searching for an answer-although it's difficult to tell what exactly she's looking at with that helmet covering her face.
"Don't I get some sort of Zin servant or something?" she practically yells, and it's not even half a minute later that a relatively small and harried-looking alien rushes forward and bows before her.
"That would be me." he announces, sweeping his robes behind his back, "My name is Zinjai, and I will be your personal steward."
The Boss turns to face the newcomer and tilts her helmet-covered head to the side. I imagine that she's smirking underneath it.
"Be straight with me, ZJ, exactly how far ahead of humans are you? In terms of technology and whatever."
"In our experience we are the most advanced culture in the known universe." the Zin says sheepishly. The Boss nods, clearly pleased by his answer.
"Zinyak told this dick I know that he could bring the Earth back. Was that true?"
Her new steward seems uncertain of how to reply to this. "It was a half-truth, your excellency. Earth has been atomized, there is no undoing that-"
"Shit." Gat mumbles, and the other Saints express their displeasure as well. I bite my tongue as I alone seem to be smart enough to understand that the poor guy was going to say something more.
"However," Zinjai continues as if he hadn't been interrupted, "Time travel would allow you to see Earth again before its destruction."
Even with that giant metal suit of power armor, I can see that the Boss is as shocked by this as the rest of us.
"Are you fucking serious? Time travel?"
"Yes, your excellency. Zinyak was fascinated by Earth's culture. He made it a point to go back and build a menagerie of his favorite humans."
The Boss pauses, dumbstruck, and then slowly removes the helmet from her head. She turns to look at the rest of us with her mouth gaping and eyes wide open. I fight the urge to laugh.
"Don't tease me, your excellency." Pierce says her new title in a jocular tone of voice. The Boss shoots him an irritable sort of grimace before meeting Zinjai's gaze once more.
"Sounds like we can save Earth after all." she mutters mostly to herself. Zinjai wrings his hands and offers to guide us to said 'menagerie', but the Boss stops him before he can go on.
"I'll think about it tomorrow." she tells him, and it's very obvious just how much this day has tired her out, "One step at a time, right?"
"As you wish, your excellency."
She dismisses him and collapses on her new throne once more, but before she can do anything else the rest of us have converged on her. It's a struggle to break through the crowd around her and touch some part of her (her hand, to be precise) as I'm not the only Saint who wants to do so, and yet I manage it. She grins up at us all, the expression weary but joyful nonetheless.
"You know what this means." Pierce proclaims once we've all said our congratulations. The Boss looks confused for a brief moment but then a dark cloud crosses over her face and she presses her armored palms to her eyes.
"Oh God. Pierce, you can't be serious."
"I ain't never been more serious, your excellency."
"What's he going on about?" Asha questions from the back of the huddle, and Shaundi replies almost at once.
"He wants to throw a party."
"A party?" Kinzie repeats, "Are you kidding? How? It's not like we have any food or strippers or strobe lights; all that normal party stuff."
Pierce frowns at her for a second and then goes on with saying the rest of his piece. "Girl, we can have whatever we want now. She's the Queen."
"I was always the Queen." the Boss remarks indignantly, but Pierce shakes his head in disagreement.
"Before, you were just the queen of us. Now you're the queen of the entire fucking galaxy."
"Sounds about right."
"So, party?"
The Boss let's out this weird half-sigh, half-chuckle sort of noise, but she waves her hand in an idle 'go ahead' type of way. Pierce punches the air out of excitement and Benjamin King exchanges a knowing look with Johnny Gat. I, on the other hand, don't have any vested interest in this party at all. As the others begin to plan our next steps I pull closer to the Boss and give her hand a gentle squeeze.
"That was impressive." I say as she meets my gaze, her eyes sparkling. She's exhausted, but glad. This makes me glad too.
"You do what you have to for the people you care about, right?" she laughs, "You were right though, about all of us being fucked up. We go well together. It works."
"If we're having a heart-to-heart here, I should admit that I only said that to snap you out of your funk."
"My funk?" she says with a raised eyebrow, and I nod.
"I just realized how weird that sounded. Honestly though, I don't think it matters how insane you are or we are; we'd fit regardless. And you saved us, again, like always. That's enough."
The Boss scoffs, but I can tell that she believes me. She brings my hand closer to her face and presses a kiss to my knuckles, and then to my thumb, and I feel so warmly towards her in this moment that my heart is threatening to burst right open in my chest.
"I'm going back to the ship." she mutters, looking up at me again, "Are you coming with?"
"Of course."
"Great."
And once again, that's exactly the right word for our situation now. Fine. Good. Great.