You Know I'm No Good
Chapter 3
Leah's POV
"It's so loud Inside my head
With words that I should have said!
As I drown in my regrets
I can't take back the words I never said."
"Mom." I managed to gasp out, choking up on my words. My throat felt tight like something was constricting it from the inside.
She just stood there and stared at me as if she didn't recognize me. It was eating me alive. I knew that I had been gone for years but any mother should recognize there own child.
In the moments she stared I took the time to examine her. She looked so much different. She had aged. Her once long black hair was now stained with strands of grey and her features were different. I mean they were the same but just...aged I guess. No matter what she was just as beautiful as before.
"Leah...sweetheart is that you?" She asked, finally saying something. She had one hand covering her mouth, while the other reached up to touch my cheek. I smiled slightly, with a tear rolling down the same cheek.
"Hey mom." I said turning to kiss the inside of her palm. She slowly took her palm and placed it back to her heart.
"Oh my, you're beautiful." She said, reaching up again to put a loose strand of hair behind my ear. She had bags under her hazel eyes. You could tell that she had been crying- and fuck me being wasn't helping.
Before I could say anything, mom bent down to about my knees level and smiled down at Jaden, who was clutching to my legs.
"And who is this handsome young man?" She asked, looking up at me questioningly. I smiled lightly and touched the top of Jaden's head.
"Mom this is my son, Jaden. Jaden this is Grandma Sue, my mommy." I said looking down at his curious blue eyes. We had discussed meeting mom and Seth on the plane.
"Hi Grandma Sue." He said quickly and shyly. You could barely hear him due to the fact that his face was buried in the fabric of my dress.
"Oh I see we have a shy one here, just like his mother." She said trying to cover up her shock with a smile. She sniffled, wiping her wet cheeks and stood up to her full height.
"Leah, why don't you come in and visit with everyone. I know they'll all be...shocked to see you again." She said smoothing the wrinkles from her black dress, before turning around and walking inside.
Before walking in, I wiped away my tears and picked up Jaden to place him on my hip. He had his head on my chest while he played with my hair a little. I smiled.
"I love you." I whispered, kissing his forehead.
"Lub you." He said back, making my heart flutter. He was my reason for living. I took a deep breath before entering my old house.
Everything seemed to be exactly the same, except a part of it felt empty. I walked over to the coat rack and put my trench and Jaden's jacket on one of the hooks. I could feel my stomach twist as I heard talking coming from the living room.
When I finished, I slowly walked into the living room only to be immersed into total and complete silence.
Everyone was looking at me. I felt so self conscious all of a sudden.
"Leah?" I heard a familiar voice call out. I tried hard but I just couldn't put a name or face to the voice. Well until she stepped out the crowd.
"Leah? Oh my god! It's been so long? How have you been? Where have you been?" Emily, my cousin asked running towards me full speed. She looked exactly the same except fuller in the face and boobs.
I let out a quiet 'oof' as her body collided with mine in a tight embrace. I quickly pulled away, smiling slightly.
"Hey Emily." I said awkwardly, looking around for someone to help me.
Emily must've that since it had been a few years, I'd forget what she did to me last time I was here. Emily stole the love of my life, Sam Uley me the day after I gave him my virginity. Her and Sam had been secretly 'meeting' up for two months. I had been severely depressed for some months after and the fact that she could just 'unknowingly' flaunt her happiness in my face did not help.
The fact that she could just stand right here in front of me and act as nothing had ever happened just pissed me off to no end.
"Emily sweetie, come help me in the kitchen." I heard my mom call out from the kitchen. I turned around too see my mom giving me a knowing look.
I mentally thanked her before, hurriedly walking through some people to get to the staircase. I walked up carefully , before reaching my room.
When I opened the door, I gasped. Everything was the same way I left so long ago. My bed was made neatly, the same purple comforter and pillows. I smiled too myself as I remembered every happy moment of my life that had happened here.
I slowly walked over to my old bed and sat down, remembering the feel of the soft mattress.
Hearing the soft snore of my baby, I had almost forgotten he was in my arms. I slowly lowered him to lay on the bed.
Once I put him down, I got up and walked into my bathroom. Looking in the mirror, I could remember a 16 year old me with braces, hating the sight of herself, wishing she'd never existed, wishing she could just die.
I sighed, sometimes I still feel that same.
Closing my eyes, I was completely startled when I heard a knock on the door.
"Lee-Lee? Can I come in?" I heard a very unfamiliar deep voice call out from behind the three inch thick wood. I sighed and opened the door, revealing a very muscular...man.
"Seth?" I asked quite unsure. He had changed so much from the scrawny little teenager I had left back home.
"Hey Lee-Lee." He said wrapping his arms around my waist, kissing my forehead. When he pulled away he smiled down at me, before remembering something.
"Oh yeah. Um...the lawyer is about to show us dad's will. He wants me you and mom there so yeah...We'll be in the dining room." He said quickly before, rushing back down the stairs.
I bit my lip in frustration. I had forgotten that I had to repair some of the broken relationships with people and not just act like nothing had ever happened.
I was about to walk out of the room when I heard my phone vibrate on top of the end table. I quickly walked over to table and grabbed the phone.
Looking at the ID, I sighed tiredly. It was Riley.
"Hello?" I said, rather irritated. Riley hasn't called in a over nine months to check up Jaden.
"Where the fuck are you?" He said, voice booming through the phone. I winced a bit at his tone.
"I'm visiting with family right now, I took Jaden with me."
"Did I say you could take my son anywhere?" He asked in a dangerous tone.
"No. But I didn't feel the need to ask for your permission seeing as you aren't there for him."
"You better watch your damn mouth, Leah."
"Really? Or what?"
"I'll close it for you, that's what." He said before hanging up. I looked down at Jaden and wondered how such a beautiful thing could come from something so evil.
After straightening my self back out, I walked back down the stairs, through the living room full of people to the dining room where Seth, Mom and the lawyer sat.
"Ah Leah, good too se you could join us, please take a seat so we could get started." He said, looking up from under his thick glasses.
I followed his instructions and took a seat across from mom and next to Seth.
The lawyer opened his laptop that was on the table, to display a black screen. "You all ready?" He asked. My mother nodded, covering her mouth with one hand, I placed one of hands on top of hers that was on the table.
After a few seconds, the lawyer, pressed play and the once dark screen showed a clear picture of my father.
"Hey everyone. Sue, Seth and Leah, if you're there." He said smiling and chuckling a bit. I couldn't help but smile. He sighed. "I know if you're watching this video, I didn't make it. I know I said I could beat a lot of things but Pancreatic Cancer is one of the things I can't."
"Alright so lets get this thing going." He said pulling out his glasses and placing them on his nose and pulling a piece of paper from his shirt pocket.
"Ahem. Sorry I'm not prepared." He said, unfolding the paper in his hands. "Alright, to my beautiful wife, Sue. I want you to know that I love you with all my heart and I will always be in your heart just as much as you are in mine." He said, smiling. I looked over at mom who was smiling, with tears rolling down her cheeks.\
"Sue I want you to go to the bank and place the house under your name, along with anything else under my name. Whats mine is now yours. I love you." He flipped the page of his paper.
"To my son, Seth. Hang in there, son. You need to be strong for your mother. It's going to be a tough time for you all but it's your turn to be the rock." He said sternly, looking at the camera lens. So it was as he was looking directly into your eyes. Seth just sat there, no certain emotion on his face
" So Seth, I leave you me and Billy's old garage over down by third beach. I understand you and Jacob have been looking for a place to rent. Well here's a place you own as men. I love you Seth, you're a man now and you sure have made me so proud."
The tape went blank for a few seconds, making me think it was over but before I could say anything it came back on. It looked as if he was in my room, sitting on my bed. I could tell he had recorded it a few week after he did the others.
Seeing as his once full form was now sickly and unhealthy looking.
"My sweet,sweet Leah. If you're there I want you to know how much I love you. You are my baby girl and always will be. I've been spending days now trying to figure out what to say to you.
So here it is. Leah I love you. You may not think so but I do. You will always be my little girl. And no matter how far you go, I'll never let you go Peanut." He said sweetly, bringing more tears to my eyes. Mom squeezed my hand gently as Seth soothingly, rubbed up and down my back.
"Leah, for the past few years now I've been telling you're mother that me and Charlie have been fishing but we haven't." He said, somewhat laughing. I heard my mother mutter an 'I knew it.'
"I think she knew though." He said chuckling. "Anyway, All those nights I spent 'fishing' I actually was building this." He said pulling out a picture of a small house. I gasped. It was my dream house. It was an abandoned house, that just sat perfectly on first beach. "I bought it and remodeled for you. It's in that clearing right off the shore of first beach. I remember how you used to talk about loving it so much. I was going to give it to you as a 18th birthday present but I never got the chance." He said tearing up a bit." I felt terrible.
"So basically here it is, as my last wish I want you to move back to LaPush and be here with you're family. You've been away too long and they need you now. So yeah, I'm pretty much finished. I love you all."
What? REVIEW PLEASE! TELL ME HOW YOU FEEL? AND WHAT YOU WANT NEXT? BECAUSE HONESTLY...I DON'T KNOW!
P.S. PEOPLE HAVE BEEN ASKING ME WHAT PORN STAR I IMAGINED LEAH AS AND NEVER REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT IT. BUT AFTER WATCHING SOME ENTOURAGE I DECIDED SAHSA GREY. THE ONLY PORN STAR I ACTUALLY KNOW ABOUT.
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