You Know I'm No Good
Chapter 6
Leah's POV
11:35 AM
I sighed looking at the clock, I should probably wake Jaden up and get the day started. We had a couple things to do before the bonfire.
Turning onto my other side, I smiled as I slightly shook him awake.
"Jaden, it's time to wake up baby." I cooed as his little eyes fluttered open, and he smiled sleepily at me while rubbing at his eyes.
Running my hands through his dirty blonde hair, I attacked his face with kisses,blowing raspberries all over his chubby cheeks.
"Momma! Momma stop. It tickle. It tic- aaahhhhh! Mommy please!" He squealed as I continued tickling his sides.
"But mommy loves to tickle you." I said pouting, poking bottom lip out.
"I'm gonna pee!" He squealed once more knowing I'd stop.
"Alright okay. Go potty and I'll start the the bath. Bubbles?"
"Uhhhhhh." I smirked as I watched his little face scrunch up probably thinking the pros and cons of having a bubbles. Just like his father. "Yes pwease." He finally concluded, as he crawled out of my old bed.
I watched as he stood in the middle of my old room, in his spider man footie pajamas,looked over his surroundings, seeming confused.
"Momma where are we at?"
"We're in mommy's old house. In my old room. See." I said pointing at an old photo of me when I was about Jaden's age.
It was one of those pictures you take at school with the optional backdrop. I grinned taking in my dirty overalls and long brown curly pigtails with little fly away hairs all over my face. Bright hazel eyes and huge blushing cheeks.
I was fucking cute.
"Thas not momma." Jaden said disbelieving. He studied the picture more before turning back to me.
"It is." I said laughing. "I was a baby like you."
"But chu look diffwent." He said pinking up the photo and doing a side by side comparison.
"Your eyes the same." He said. "And mouth but thats it!" He exclaimed.
Laughing, I showed him to the bathroom, letting him go potty. Stripping his PJ's I couldn't help but pinch his little tan butt as I placed him in the tub.
It was just so cute and round.
"Mommy stop it!" He exclaimed hiding his butt from me.
Having taken a shower and washed my hair the night before, I performed my morning ritual. I washed my face, brushed my teeth, applied my eyeliner, mascara and lipgloss, then styled my hair.
My hair was naturally wavy, so I pretty much had to flat iron it everyday. After I finished flat ironing, I combed my straight bangs over and pulled my hair into a messy top bun.
Getting dressed was difficult. I always spend the most time trying to figure out what to wear.
Since society has deemed me a "thick" woman, there are only a few things I can wear without looking slutty or trashy.
Even though my profession requires as such, I'm a mother and I am fully dedicated to separating myself from who I am and what I do.
"Momma! I'm finished!" I heard Jaden shout from the bathroom. Smiling, I grabbed the towel from the rack and opened it up so he could step into it.
Wrapping him in the towel, I placed him on my hip to let the water out.
Walking him over to the bed, I plopped him down on the mattress, drying him off. After towel drying his hair, I walked over to our suitcase.
Dressing Jaden in a white polo and blue swim trunks for later, I decided to dress casual as well. Throwing on my favorite black jersey maxi dress and denim jacket. I had on my favorite
Just as I finished throwing on my clothes there was a light knock at my door.
"Leah, are you descent?" I heard Seth ask quietly from behind the door.
"Jaden go answer the door for Uncle Seth." I said watching as Jaden moved on two chubby little legs, reaching high to turn the door knob.
When the door opened, Seth looked utterly confused before looking down at Jaden who was looking up at Seth as if he was studying him.
"Momma this is Uncle Seff?" Jaden said looking perplexed. Seth just kinda stood there looking at Jaden with wide eyes.
Smiling I replied, "Yup. That's momma's brother. Uncle Seth."
"But chu said he was wittle." Jaden said eyeing Seth's 6'4 frame. Seth let out a loud laugh almost doubling over in hysterics.
"Silly boy. I said he was my little brother. Little is another word for younger." I said, explaining things to him the best I could. I watched as Jaden's confused expression turned to one of understanding.
"How much littler is Uncle Seff?" He asked in just plain curiosity.
I laughed before turning to Seth. "I don't know, ask Uncle Seff?" I said making Seth chuckle before he bent down to reach Jaden's level.
Tuning out of there conversation, my eyes began to water as I watched as Seth and Jaden interacted. I could see that Seth had fallen in love with Jaden, just as I had with him every single day of his life.
For about ten minutes, I just stared, silent tears falling from my cheeks.
Why had I kept my child from his family for so long?
"Leah?"
"Momma!" I heard Seth and Jaden say at the exact same time, snapping me out of my reverie.
"Huh?" I said, quickly wiping at my eyes, to remove any sign of tears.
"Sorry I was daydreaming. What's up?" I replied ignoring Seth's curious glances.
"Uncle Seff said we can go to eat pancakes! Can we go plllleeeeasse Momma! Please Momma! Say yes!"
"Oh sure. Yeah we can go definitely. Who's all going?" I asked directing the question to Seth, who slightly blanched at the words.
"Um well, you know, the usual." He said nervously, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Seth. I need to know who all is going to be there so I can prepare myself for it." I said sternly. Looking at him with a sideways glance.
"Okay it's just Paul, Rachel, Embry, Quil, Jared, Me, Bree, Sam and Emily." He said quickly thinking I 'd give a fuck about Sam and Emily.
"Seth, I can assure you that I could care less about Sam and Emily being there."
"Oh okay. So is that a ye-" Seth tried to ask but was interrupted my hungry and impatient 3 year old.
"YES!" Jaden said, face just glowing with excitement. He fucking loved pancakes.
Well this will be interesting.
Pulling up to the diner and parking right next to Seth's pickup, I couldn't help but think back on all the memories we had as a family here.
Dinners.
Dates.
Stopping myself before I took a painful trip down memory lane, I reminded myself that I should just enjoy myself now and forget about the past.
For now.
Letting out a deep breath, I collected myself before turning the rental car off. Getting out of the car, I opened the backseat door to unstrap a very anxious Jaden from his carseat. Placing him on my hip, I walked towards the entrance, smiling when I started to feel and smell the wonderful atmosphere I missed so much.
Opening the door, It was like I was in a fucking time capsule or something. Nothing had changed.
Like at all.
Standing in the threshold, I scanned the large room full of people before spotting the only table with huge overgrown men calling me over.
Walking over to the table, I quickly took roll.
Paul. Check.
Rachel. Check.
Quil. Check.
Embry. Check.
Seth. Check.
White gir- I mean Bree. Check.
Sam. Fuck.
Emily. Ugh.
Alright so basically everyone's here.
This should be fun.
"Uh hey guys. Sorry we're late." I said nervously because as soon as I walked up it seemed everyone's conversations had stopped and all eyes were on me.
Awkward.
Before sitting down, I got Jaden situated in the high chair that Seth had already taken the initiative to ask for. He looked so proud of himself when I placed Jaden inside of it.
Once I sat down, I tried avoiding all the eyes staring at me, but I knew I'd have to answer some of their questions sooner or later.
Most of the stares were coming from Sam, who I hadn't really gotten a good look at last night, but he looked good. Really good. Everything I'd imagine
When I looked at Sam now I didn't see the boy I fell in love with, but the man who broke my heart. Even though he looked different and had probably changed significantly as I had myself, we could never be those two kids in love again. But deep down we were the same 17 year old high school sweethearts.
Looking up to get another glance at him, I gasped lightly when I saw his dark brown almost black eyes were staring into my own hazel orbs. In that moment he opened his mouth to say something but thankfully, the waiter chose that moment to take our orders.
While the kind looking waitress took everyone else's order, I turned to Jaden who had a puzzled look on his face as if contemplating what to order.
"You ready to order yet,baby?" I whispered, leaning closer to him.
"No, not yet mommy." He said, scratching his head. Smiling, I kissed the side of his face. When the waitress came around, I ordered the Strawberry Cheesecake French Toast.
"What would you like little man?" The waitress, who looked about 18 said, crouching down to Jaden's level. I rolled my eyes as his eyes shined with happiness. Like his father, he had a weakness for blondes.
"Can I have this pwease?" Jaden asked pointing to the picture of the kids rainbow pancakes.
Smiling, the waitress nodded, before turning to me, "Your son is SO adorable." I laughed as Jaden blushed and hid his face in my hair. Once the waitress left our table, Seth and everyone else chuckled to themselves.
"Thank you." I said, pulling him out of his high chair to sit on my lap. I could feel his need to be closer to me and who am I to deny him comfort.
Clearing his throat, Seth caught my attention. "Leah this is my girlfriend, Brianna. Bree this is my older sister." Seth said introducing us.
Reaching over Seth, I shook her hand and smiled before speaking. "It's so nice to finally meet you. I feel like I know you already, the way Seth was going on and on and on about how much he-" Before I could say anymore a hand was clamped over my mouth.
"Now that's quite enough Big Sis. We've all heard enough. Soooo let's change the subject." Seth said all red from embarrassment, Bree hugged his waist, kissing his chest. I missed picking on my brother.
"Dude you're so pussy whipped, it's not even funny!" Paul said, causing the guys and I to throw our heads back in laughter. All the girlfriends looked offended.
Rachel gasped, and hit his chest ."Paul, there's a child here! You're so fucking stupid." She said referring to Jaden who was happily not paying attention. He was occupied watching videos on nowadays.
"You know you love me for it woman." He said, placing a big sloppy kiss on her lips. I cringed, it was weird seeing Paul so...affectionate. Ugh. Everybody makes me sick.
Saved by the waitress once more, I placed Jaden back in his high chair as she and another waiter helped lay all the food out for everyone.
It was a uncomfortable silence as we all ate. Well at least to me. I could still feel Sam's eyes on me as I cut into Jaden's pancakes and fed him. After a few bites, Embry took over, feeding him so I could start eating my french toast.
"Jaden, what do you say to Uncle Embry?" I asked expectantly. With his mouth full of pancake, he looked at Embry and smiled.
"Thank you Uncle Emmy!" He said happily as he smacked loudly. I rolled my eyes at my son. I don't what I'm gonna do with him.
"So Jaden, how old are you?" I heard Emily ask, looking at Jaden with this expression I just couldn't pinpoint. Jaden looked up to me as to say 'Is it okay if talk to her?'. Nodding at him, he looked back at her shyly before replying.
"I'm three."
"When's your birthday?" She asked, digging for more info. Something was up.
"Emily." Sam said, looking at her sternly as if he was scolding her. I was so confused.
"No, Sam I need to know!" Emily all but screeched, silencing the diner.
"Stop making a scene." Sam said more serious this time.
"NO! I need to know right now goddamnit!" She said again, staring daggers at me.
Fuck this.
With a loud clang, I dropped my fork on my plate, sitting up straight and taking a breath.
"Emily is there something you want to say to me." It came out a lot harsher than I intended but how dare she.
"Is he Sam's?" She yelled pointing at Jaden.
I felt like I was being slapped. Wow.
"Emily, please stop. This is really uncalled for." Seth said quietly, trying to calm everything down.
"Wow." I muttered to myself, not believing this shit for a second. Looking up at Sam, he was looking at me like he was waiting for me to say something.
"Leah,answer the fucking question." Sam said sounding irritated. I was somewhat calm before but that did it.
"You know Taha Aki must be one humorous motherfucker, because somehow he blessed Sam and me with this blonde haired, blue eyed child. I mean someone call the Vatican! It's a fucking miracle." I said hysterically, talking to no one in particular. I needed to leave. I was about to lose my mind.
"Leah, this is nothing to joke about." Sam said, comforting Emily.
"Your right. So stop fucking playing with me, Sam. You know damn well Jaden is not your son!" I yelled, getting really riled up. I could feel the tears threatening to show themselves, but I wouldn't allow it.
"Wow. This is a waste of my time."
Reaching into my purse, I threw down a fifty dollar bill before standing up, picking up Jaden and placing him on my hip, I walked towards the exit.
Ignoring Seth, as he tried to get me to stay, I just kept walking.
I need to get the fuck out of here. Like right the fuck now.