You Know I'm No Good
Chapter 7
Jacob's POV
Laying Harry Clearwater to rest was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my entire life. Not only was he the most respected elder in the tribe, he was like a father to me and it was an honor to call him a mentor and a friend.
I'm no stranger to loss, I actually know it well. My mother Sarah was killed in a head on collision with a drunk driver when I was eleven. After her death, my family completely fell apart. My father William never recovered and soon found his happiness in the bottom of every bottle of rum, tequila, gin and his personal favorite Quileute moonshine. My older twin sisters Rachel and Rebecca, who were only sixteen at the time, tried there best to keep things together but they could only do so much at that age.
So two years later when the time came for them to move on and start a life of their own, they did. Rachel left first, the day after her graduation actually. She had been accepted into the nursing program at the University of Washington in Seattle. And while Seattle was only four hours away, Rachel made it clear she was never coming home.
Rebecca on the other hand was more hesitant to leave me alone with my father. She had always been the more nurturing one of the two anyways. She took after our mother in that way. Our mother had been a kindergarten teacher at the elementary school on the reservation for 22 years before she passed and Rebecca had always dreamed of following in her footsteps.
Out of the three of us Rebecca took Mom's death the hardest. The night Mom was killed she was on her way to pick a drunken Rebecca up from a party that had been busted by the police. She had called Dad first but he was in a meeting with the elders discussing budgets. So she called Mom.
Flashback: 12 years ago
Mom was more than distraught when she got the call. She had put us all to bed two hours before and had no idea that Rebecca had snuck out of the back window while Mom was downstairs grading papers that night. I had woken up hearing her scream at Rebecca through the phone for being so reckless and irresponsible. Rushing out of bed, I ran to my door and opened it a crack to stick my face through and eavesdrop.
"Rebecca where are you?" She said in a panic with the phone between her shoulder and ear. I watched as she ran out of her room, down the hallway to the laundry room to put on some boots. It was winter so she was wearing dads baggy old black thermal pajamas. Placing the phone on the floor as she laced her boots, I could hear Rebecca crying through the phone begging Mom not to be mad at her. It was too late for that though.
"Mom please come get me! I'm so sorry. I'll promise I'll never do it again. I'm so scared. I'm at Tyler Crowley's and everyone is drinking and I'm so dr-drunk I don't know what to do. All my friends ditched me. I don't know anyone I'm so- I'm so scared. Oh my god, Mom the cops ar-" Suddenly all you could hear was screams and police sirens through the phone before the call dropped. My mother grabbed the phone off the floor and slapped it back to her ear.
"Rebecca?!" She yelled at the phone, frustration taking over her beautiful features. I watched as she desperately redialed Rebecca's phone number over and over only to hear it go directly to voicemail. The phone must have died.
"Shit. Shit. Shit. Fuck." She muttered to herself, eyes welling up with desperate tears. I watched for what felt like hours but was probably more like a few moments as my beautiful mother lost and collected herself.
I guess I made a noise or something because she suddenly looked at me with a startled look on her face. Sniffling and wiping her tears she motioned me to come towards her. Stepping out of my room, I ran towards her.
"Mommy are you ok-" I rushed out in a panic but she interrupted me.
"Jake honey…Everything is going to be fine. I just have to go handle something really fast. I need you to do me a favor, okay?" She said in a sweet, soothing tone, stroking my cheek with her warm hand. Eyes wide I nodded in agreement. She smiled.
"I need you to wake up your sister and t-"
She was interrupted by Rachel's door creaking open. She looked startled when she saw us in the hallway. It was midnight so she didn't expect to see anyone "Mom? What's going on? Where's Beck?" She said, voice filled with sleep and confusion.
Smiling at us reassuringly, Mom grabbed my hand and walked us the few steps it took to stand in front of Rachel.
"Rachel baby I need you to watch Jake until Dad gets home, okay? I'm going to Forks. Beck called and needs me to pick her up." She said pushing me into Rachel. Bending down she grabbed both my cheeks and kissed me on the lips. "Love you." She whispered. She did the same to Rachel. Rachel was so confused.
"Mom what the hell-" She started to complain but Mom was gathering her things again getting ready to head downstairs to get in the car. Before she went down the stairs, she stopped at the top, turned and faced us and simply smiled. "I'll be back." She said before running down the stairs.
Rachel and I stood in silence for a moment, just staring at the space she once was before looking at one another and giggling a bit.
"What the fuck? All I wanted was some damn nutter butters." Rachel said under her breath making us both bust out laughing. Shaking her head she looked down at me and said. "Come on chief. Let's go make a snack then we're going back to bed." Giggling, we both went down stairs and made ourselves snacks unaware of what life had in store for us just moments later.
Present Day:
Fuck. Everything changed after that day. Unbeknownst to my mother, on her way to Tyler Crowley's house to pick up Rebecca she would be hit head on by a drunk teen leaving that same party. It was a two way street and the young man swerved into my mother's lane, ending the both of their lives within minutes. It was horrible.
Rebecca had managed to charge her phone just enough to call Mom but she managed to get a hold of her seconds before the crash. She heard everything.
The collision. Moms screams. Flames erupting. Everything. She was never the same after that. She blamed herself for Mom's death. And hell I'm not going to lie, we all did. Dad could barely look at her. Rachel couldn't stand her. I was in a catatonic state for months so I avoided everyone like the plague.
So two years later when it was time for her to go to college, I told her to go. I knew dad was unfit to care for me and things would be better if she stayed but I felt like she'd be miserable , I knew she'd be miserable here so I told her to go. She cried for hours and hours while she packed her things.
Fuck I wish I would've made her stay.
And like Rachel, Rebecca left days later to go to Tennessee to start her teaching program at Vanderbilt University.
Rachel would call every now and then but Rebecca never did. I used to fantasize at night that maybe she was too happy to call but…I knew deep down in my spirit something was up.
But it was months later when we got the call that confirmed my fears. It was a call from the Vanderbilt University Police Department saying they had found Rebecca in her on campus apartment…dead. Of a heroin overdose.
Everyone had their way of dealing with Mom's death, I guess. Dad drank. Rachel ran away from her problems. I stopped speaking. And Rebecca turned to drugs. She was only 19. The day she overdosed would've been Mom's 45th birthday. I guess it was all too much. Her family hated her. She hated herself. So fuck it right?
After that, you could say the family completely went to shit. Rachel never came home. Dad was always at the bar. And I was left all alone, fending for myself. No food. No family. Just me.
While Rebecca had blamed herself for Mom's death, I knew we all blamed ourselves for hers.
One day, Harry Clearwater knocked on the door.
Him, his wife Sue and his son Seth were carrying mass amounts of groceries and cleaning products.
"Jacob son, we're here for you. I know your family has dealt with such tragedy in the last year but pl-" He simply said but I interrupted. Eyes wide, I fell to my knees and sobbed into my hands. Harry calmly told his wife and son to take the groceries inside.
Walking to me, Harry picked me up off the ground and wrapped his strong arms around me. Whispering "I'm here son…Shh, son. It's all going to be okay."
"Fuck." I muttered under my breath, coming out of my memories. I was standing in front of Harry's freshly dug grave. I had been here for hours. Every morning I come to the burial grounds and place fresh flowers amongst my loved ones graves. I looked down at my hand and saw that I had a death grip on a white rose. Placing it on the dirt, I wiped my sweating palms on my sweatpants before turning around and walking back to my pick up truck.
Sitting in my truck, I started it up and slowly rolled out of the driveway of the cemetery.
Getting on the main road, I started on my way towards the pancake house. It was the same thing every morning.
Morning run. Cemetery. Breakfast. Work. Home. Sleep. Nothing more, nothing less.
As I was pulling into the pancake house parking lot, I saw her. Leah Clearwater.
I hit the breaks.
Holy shit.
Leah's POV
Eyes blind with tears, I damn near ripped the door off the hinges as I left. Fuck this. I don't know how I'm getting home but I'm leaving. This was a bad idea.
I was a mess. I could barely see anything, I was crying so hard.
"Shit." I muttered under my breath as I realized I was standing in the middle of the parking lot. I could hear the door open and Seth scream "Leah! wait!" But that only made me walk a little faster.
I hadn't noticed that I had stepped in front of a truck until, I heard somebody hit there breaks extremely hard. Jaden screamed, bursting into tears. "Momma!"
I stopped dead in my tracks. Not even eight inches away from us was the grill of an all black lifted Dodge Ram. Slowly looking up, I saw the shocked face of the driver though the windshield.
Fuck.
It was him.
Chief Black.
We locked eyes for what felt like hours but was probably just seconds. After he broke eye contact, he put the car in park and got out.
"Are you okay? I'm so sorry. Jesus Christ." Jacob said running towards me with concern written all over his gorgeous features. The closer he got, Jaden trembled in my arms, whimpering. Holding closer to me, I looked up at Jacob.
"Yes…I'm fine." I whispered. In that moment , the door to the restaurant opened and Sam ran out with Emily and Seth behind them, turning back to Jacob I grabbed his hand looked at him.
"Pl-please get me out of here." I begged.
A/N: So hey guys. Long time no see :) How are you all? -HL 3
Thoughts? Questions? I know it's been awhile.
Review and lemme know! Muah!
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