Chapter 16

Tucking the hair behind her ears and straightening her clothes, Eve took a moment to collect herself. Raising a hand to her face, she touched the spot where Lee's cast had contacted with her mouth, and winced. Her arms were also sore, and there would be bruises there, too. It had all been worth it, to gauge his reactions.

I have to be firm with Crane. Give him rules and orders at first. He is used to responding to this.Show him I'm confident he can easily handle being in public. Let him figure out there are no voices from the CD here. Once I can establish a safe harbor we can start on the deprogramming.

She did not want to put her silent thoughts into words just yet, but studying the two people on the loveseat, she realized the need to explain her actions to the blond man. Based on the looks he was sending her, he was obviously blaming the doctor for his friend's outburst.

Rick soon showed up with the wheelchair. She instructed him to leave it, put a hold on lunch, and instead bring something cold to drink. Chip was now trying to entice Lee to take a sip of the iced tea with no success. The patient had barely moved since being led to the sofa. Eyes closed and head resting against the back of the couch, Lee appeared to be sleeping except his body was too rigidly held to be napping.

Did I move too fast? Should I have been gentler? No, after reading Doctor Jamieson's report on Crane's behavior from the time of the rescue, I asked the right questions about his past behavior when injured, especially how he responded to the aftermath of capture and interrogation. I saw Doctor Walker's notes from the prior brainwashing. This man has lived by rules and orders for his entire adult life. He understands authority when he sees it, and that'sthe way I'm going to play it.

Chip was quietly talking to Lee, trying to get a response. He shot her a questioning look and a quick jerk of his head towards the door. Eve nodded her response.

"Lee, I'll let you relax for now and I'll be back later this afternoon. Remember you are free to go anywhere on the grounds. The wheelchair is here if you want to have the grand tour." Eve spoke to Lee as if nothing had happened, showing no disapproval or anger towards his earlier behavior. "I can prescribe something to take the edge off if you want. It's your choice."

Lee's eyes popped open at the mention of drugs and emphatically shook his head to the question, watching the doctor closely.

"Fine, I'll see you at three." She left the room and let her high heels echo down the hallway, and then stopped and stood still.

Chip got up and stretched.

"If you're going to sit there and rest, I'm going to do a little scouting." He sat down in the wheelchair and released the brake. "Maybe I better check it out. Seeing how your Cobra breaks down all the time, I had better test drive this thing. If you're okay by yourself, I'll take a quick spin."

His friend waved him off, already having closed his eyes after Doctor Anderson's exit.

"I won't be long," Chip promised as he wheeled through the door and spotted the Doctor waiting for him. He joined her, remaining seated but positioning the chair facing towards the door to be able to see if Lee appeared.

"You're upset with me."

"Look, you're the psychiatrist. I guess you know what you're doing but how is sending Lee into a panic going to help?" Chip tried to keep his tone respectful but he was upset.

"Dr. Jamieson has given me a very detailed report of what transpired during the voyage home. You did a great job helping Lee the five days on Seaview. You were his doctor, friend, and brother. I know men, especially those in the military, don't like to show or talk about emotions. You comforted Lee when he cried; you took him into your arms as a mother would, chasing away the bogeyman who terrified a young child. You showed him tenderness, compassion and love. He needed that. Even after he came out of his catatonic state, he was still suffering from psychological shock.

"You were Lee's," the Doctor's briefly stopped to consider her words, "well, I guess you could say you were his security blanket. Now, don't become embarrassed, because it's the truth," she said, watching the flush appear on Chip's face. She placed her hand on his shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "You did all the right things at the right time. The drugs were still in his system at a high concentration. Those first few days he was incapable of having rational thoughts. You saw how he was slowly improving.

"Now it's my turn to take over, time to expect more out of him. Lee needs to know he can control his life. According to the blood work Doctor Kennedy ordered, the drug's strength has lessened but it will still be a while until they are completely out of his system. Until that happens, I need for him to realize this place is safe and to accept the fact of being here until he recovers."

"What about the recording, are you planning on playing them?"

"Not for a while. I'm plotting on building up his trust, talking about his past, the Academy, and good times aboard Seaview. Before you leave, if you can write down some events that you and others shared with Lee it will be helpful. They don't have to be necessarily happy, but times where he was helped out of a bad situation. I want to start reestablishing the true feelings of the men surrounding him, and negate the lies on the tapes."

After promising to give her some stories, Chip returned to the room. He felt considerable relief upon hearing the doctor's plan of attack. Lee was in almost the same position he was when Chip left except his head was tilted to the side, sound asleep. Chip carefully repositioned his friend so he was lying down and then returned to the corridor to use his cell.

"Nelson Institute, Admiral Nelson's office."

"Angie, it's Chip. Is he in?"

"Oh Chip, how is Lee? The Admiral just stepped out, but should back in a minute."

"Well, he hasn't broken out," Chip applied with a chuckle. "I just had a short talk with Doctor Anderson and I think she has the right approach. That's why I'm calling the admiral for some help."

"Is there anything I can do? You know everyone here will do anything for Lee."

"I need pictures. Casual pictures of Lee and us. Also get hold of Kowalski and Patterson. I know they've been involved in some hairy diving experiences with the skipper. Have them send me an email about some of them, not the official report, just stories you tell at the bar."

"Okay, I'll spread the word for the pictures. I know I have a couple from last Fourth of July."

Chip heard her speak to someone who just entered, then another voice came on the phone.

"Chip, it's Nelson. How is he doing?"

Chip brought the admiral up to speed on everything that had occurred since Lee awakened, including the anxiety attack. Nelson was upset about that but calmed down considerably after Chip explained the doctor's theory.

"Okay Chip, I'll take your word for it. Will swears by her and she is extremely well thought of by her peers. Angie is contacting Kowalski right now and I have a couple tales I can send you about the camping trip Lee and I took last fall. Just keep me informed. Remember anything Lee needs he's got." Chip heard the crack in the voice. He knew the admiral wished he could do more to help Lee escape the nightmare he was trapped in.

Chip ended the call with a promise of an update later in the evening. He was wondering if it was safe to return to his guest room when Rick showed up to set up the computer. He was quite impressed when he saw the arrangement. Across the room from Lee's laptop was a separate monitor for seeing anything that Lee typed. This way no one was peering over Lee's shoulder, crowding him.

Leaving the orderly to finish setting up, Chip went to retrieve his laptop to work on the doctor's request. Rick was gone by the time he returned, but had thoughtfully placed a blanket over the still sleeping Lee and had freshly made the bed. Chip ordered lunch, opened his laptop and proceeded to type.

It was nearly an hour later when Lee sat up, pushed off the blanket and then stood up, too quickly. Chip was at his side in a second to steady him. Lee grinned sheepishly then pulled away from his friend, settling on his feet. Chip stood close by knowing how much his friend craved his independence even if it was unwise to do so. Chip wanted to proceed cautiously remembering what Doctor Anderson has said.

"Now that you're up, do you want to try to take a stroll around the campus?"

Lee shook his head glancing around the room. Chip tried again. "How about a trip up and down the corridor, not much traffic there."

Lee headed towards the door, stopping at the entrance. He looked out both ways then took a step out and turned. Chip quickly followed but didn't say anything. Lee took a couple more steps then did an about face and headed for the laptop.

FREE TO LEAVE

"Yes, Lee, whenever and wherever you want."

NOT YET NOT SAFE

"Trust me, the clinic is a safe place. You need to decide but that shouldn't be too long."

WHO SAID SAFE

Chip voice was firm, "Everyone says so, including me. You can trust me or not, it's up to you."

U CHANGED R U MAD AT ME

"No, Lee, not mad or upset. It's time for you to decide on your own."

R U SURE

"Yes. I'm not mad, disappointed, angry, freaked or ticked off. But I will be if you keep asking."

Lee let out an exaggerated sigh and rolled his eyes before typing, ALL RIGHT I GET IT

Changing tactics a little, Chip inserted a CD with a visual tour of the campus since he was unable to get Lee to leave the room. Thankfully, it didn't show the guard or locked security gate.

Promptly arriving at three o'clock, Dr. Anderson politely asked Chip to leave, asking him to return in two hours. With a grin and a 'see you later,' Chip left.

"Where would you like to sit, Lee?"

He left the bed and sat on the love seat, choosing a position closest to the door. The doctor moved the laptop within reach of him and then settled down on the desk chair.

"Maybe it's best if I tell you a little something about my background so you get to know me. I served ten years at Walter Reed and then Bethesda. The last couple of years I have dealt closely with PTSD patients and some POW cases. When I left the Army, I was offered a position here at the clinic. I treat a wide range of patients, including CEOs, politicians and military officers. You know as well as I do dramatic stress doesn't just come from serving under battle conditions."

U GOT OUT Y

Anderson smiled. "I suppose I needed a break plus all of the government red tape was a pain. I thought of going into private practice but I like the fit here." The doctor was ready to move on but added one more thing. "Anytime you want, you can check my degrees on my office's walls. Is there anything you want to tell me about you?"

NO

"Lee, you need to cooperate. Let's try something simple. How long have you known Chip Morton?"

FIRST DAY AT NA

"He was your roommate at Annapolis?"

YES he paused then added CRAZY

"Mmmm, got into some scrapes together, I presume."

Lee didn't need to type the answer, the big grin on his face told the story.

"Did you serve with him before you joined NIMR?"

JG HURT TOOK HIS PLACE

"You kept in touch, maybe visiting during holidays?"

BIG FAMILY

"It's must be nice to share the holidays with friends and their family. I understand there's only

you and your mother."

YES

"What about Admiral Nelson? Isn't your relationship almost like father and son?"

NO WANT ME GONE DEAD

He moved the pencil so fast over the keys that it dropped from his fingers. Without comment, Dr. Anderson returned the pencil to Lee's hand and laid a comforting hand on his arm. She switched tracks, trying for a happier thought.

"You and Chip made the Academy proud, graduating first and second. I bet you really celebrated before leaving for Groton. What was the first boat you were assigned to?"

It took a minute before Lee was composed enough to comment. Then he replied SSBN GRANT

"Did you make many friends on your first cruise? Maybe some friends that you are still in contact with?"

FEW GOOD CREW

"I'm sure with the tight quarters you live in, you all become closer on submarines."

YES

"Do you trust those friends; feel you can depend on them?"

Lee jumped up, the questioning apparently not to his liking. To show his disapproval he turned his back on the doctor, not wanting to continue the session.

"Sit down."

When there was no movement, Dr. Anderson repeated the command, this time using a more authoritative voice. "I said, sit down!" She kept silent and waited. Lee heard the order in her voice and reluctantly obeyed, but obstinately refused to look at her or the laptop.

"I realize you can't express yourself very well right now but getting up and walking away is not acceptable. Therefore, here's the deal. If a question upsets you or you don't want to answer, type the word NEXT and I won't push the matter. Okay?"

Do I have a choice? What will happen if I don't answer any of her questions? Lee shook his head in disgust. They won't let me out of here, this prison just has more room to wander about in than Seaview. I'll play her game, bide my time until I can escape.

TRY

"I'll accept that for now. Our time is almost up so I'll give you your homework for tomorrow."

HOMEWORK

"You didn't think I was going to do all the hard stuff? Now I want you to think of two crewmates you trust from any boats previously served on, and why. Chip doesn't count. We'll discuss it during tomorrow's session. I also want you to take five steps up or down the corridor and then return to your room. Try to do it without Chip at your side. Remember, I expect you eating in the dining room by week's end. You are capable of doing this." Eve challenged Lee. "How do you intend to escape if you don't even have the courage to leave your room?"

ASK JAMIESON HOW I AM AT ESCAPING

"Very funny. I'll see you in the morning, Commander."

"Good morning gentlemen, I hope you had a nice breakfast."

Chip raised his mug in response. "Yes, thank you. We were just enjoying a second cup of coffee."

The doctor rested a hand on the back of his chair while smiling reassuredly at Lee. "Chip, why don't you take a trip into town or something? Lee's going to be busy until around noon."

Dr. Anderson had looked through her notes prior to the 9 AM session. Rick had reported Lee accomplished four steps on his own. The first one out of the room was hesitant, but the others were confident, if rapid, full stride and then a sharp about-face with an even quicker return.

The orderly had set up the reversible whiteboard in her office and hopefully she would be able to use it in the afternoon session. Thanks to Chip's quick work, there were already some items to display. He promised to be able to get more after she talked with Lee.

How much resistance would Lee put up this morning? His comments at the end of the previous day's session had been feisty, even a little belligerent. It was a good start.

Lee's face had fallen when Chip left the room, and she hastened to add, "Don't worry, he'll be back to have lunch with you. In the meantime, when our time is up, Dr. Kennedy will be stopping by to check the bandages on your feet. I've also set up an appointment with a physical therapist to show you a few exercises you can do that will not strain your injuries."

Lee didn't look convinced. "If it makes you feel more secure, Rick can stay with you. Would that be better?"

Lee was already at the laptop, and he quickly typed, THANKS

"I'm encouraged by how well you have accepted Rick's helping you. I'm trying to encourage him to become a PA. Maybe during your stay here you can encourage him. From what I've read in your file, you know a lot about medical procedures." The laughter in her eyes softened her tone.

WILL TALK TO HIM

"Good, now I have the report from the nurse that you had a restless night and were troubled by a nightmare. Why don't you tell me about it?"

NO

With a slight shake of her head, she rebuked him. "We had this discussion yesterday. I realize it's difficult for you to explore your feelings but I can't help you if you don't talk to me. You know everything you say is confidential and won't go any further."

With little enthusiasm Lee typed, WAS A KID

Dr. Anderson tapped her notebook. So - the dream had nothing to do with whatever had happened in Germany. Or was it just a way to keep him from reliving that nightmare?

"The dream was about your childhood. Did something frightening happen?"

MY FATHER

The doctor waited, letting Lee continue at his own pace.

DISAPPOINTED IN ME

Lee looked at the doctor as if expecting her to say something, but met only silence. He reluctantly elaborated.

PUNISHED ME

When he made no move to continue, the doctor asked her questions in a non-judgmental manner.

"Did he hurt you in your nightmare?"

YES BURNED ME

"Do you have many bad dreams from your childhood?"

NOT IN SOME TIME

"In your nightmare your father hurts you, was he abusive to you as you grew up?"

HIT ME

"I see. Was it normal for him to burn you?"

NO HIT PUNCH

This could mean that part of his torture involved burning, yet there was certainly no evidence of that on his body. That was something that needed an explanation. As she paused to consider the next question, Lee quickly wrote NEXT.

She would leave this for now. After taking a sip of her coffee she asked, "How did your homework go? Were you able to come up with the two crewmen you still trust?"

TOM FRANKLIN CPO ON THE GRANT

"You told me yesterday, that was your first boat. I've heard stories about chiefs keeping bull ensigns in line. Is he still serving?"

COB ON THE JULES VERNE RETIRE SOON

"You must think very highly of him, I'm glad you chose him. Who else?"

BOB STARR ON THE NAUTILUS

"Your second sea duty, I believe."

SAVED MY LIFE

There was a relaxed sense about Lee now, as he recalled enjoyable events from his early time at sea.

"So now we have two people you feel you can rely on. Why do you think that is?"

DON'T KNOW JUST DO

"Have you ever heard them say anything to make you feel uneasy, unsafe around them?"

Lee's face froze.

She decided to press a bit. "So, there were many good times with Tom and Bob. And from what Chip has told me, you've got many pleasant memories from times with your crew. Don't you believe that anymore?"

Fear appeared on Lee's face, completely erasing the relaxed emotions he'd displayed a few moments earlier. He clutched at his stomach, rubbing it as if he was in pain.

I can't go back to that prison room where the voices are. I'll be okay if I can stay away from that room.

His hand started to tremble, and it was apparent he was having trouble typing out his answer.

"Lee, did you hear me? Why do you not trust the men on Seaview?"

It is too dangerous to discuss. I must stop her or pain will start up again.

Clinching his jaw, Lee got his hand to obey and typed, NEXT

Realizing he was in a greatly agitated state, Anderson made some notes while permitting her patient to compose himself. "I won't press you but we will return to this later. It will be easier once you are speaking again. For now, let us discuss the other part of your assignment. I'm very pleased and encouraged you completed it without your crutch. That's good. Chip will be gone by tomorrow morning. It's time for you to fly solo."

NOT READY

"I think you are. Chip needs to get back to work. He will return for dinner and spend a couple hours visiting. It won't be cold turkey."

I WILL TRY

She didn't give him a chance to think about the consequences of that. "Splendid. For your next assignment, I want you to leave this room, turn left and walk to the fire door. You will pass two rooms. The one on the left is vacant and the one on the right is Dr. Carter's room but don't worry, she'll be immersed in her research and won't notice you."

BY MYSELF

"Yes, all by your lonesome. You're up for it. There's nothing to fear, no one will be around except one 70-year-old woman and I think you can take her," she joked, wanting to diminish his anxiety.

He gave her a pathetic smile in return. They continue to talk casually about unimportant things until their time was over. Lee stood as Dr. Anderson left. She couldn't hide her surprise and delight, first, at his remembering the courtesy and second, that he was capable of simple, uncomplicated acts.

Rick showed up soon afterwards with Dr. Kennedy. After a quick exam, he discussed Lee's progress and restrictions, indicating he should not stand or walk for any length of time until the sores were completely healed. The physical therapist arrived next, showing Lee and Rick exercises that would not aggravate the ribs. He left a schedule, cautioning Lee not to overdo.

"Is there anything I can do for you, sir? Mr. Morton's not due for another thirty minutes."

Taking Dr. Anderson's encouragement to heart, he made up his mind. STAY BY

DOORWAY

"Aye, aye, sir! After you, sir!" Rick grinned as he motioned with his arm towards the door.

SMART ALECK

He faltered at the opening. After taking a deep breath and putting one foot out the door, Lee turned left as ordered. Walking down the hallway at a normal pace, he touched the fire door with his hand as proof to himself of the goal. Executing a smart turn Lee started back, uncertain when he came abreast of Dr. Carter's room. Nothing has happened so far so go for it, Lee. Leaning towards the entrance, he experienced his first view of his neighbor. The room was vastly different from his. A long banquet table took the place of the love seat, and the room's occupant was too engrossed in the four computers on top to pay him any attention. A couple more confident steps and he was safely home.

"Congrats sir, knew you could do it. Are you ready for another go?"

MAYBE LATER

After Rick left, Lee wandered around his room for a couple minutes thinking. Finally, shrugging his shoulders, he stepped into the hallway and stood there looking up and down but nobody was around to pay him any attention. He leaned against the door jam, waiting with a satisfying smirk on his face.

Chip glanced at his watch as he grabbed his laptop out of the car. He wasn't due back for half an hour but he was anxious to get back to Lee. Dr. Anderson had called immediately after the session with the two names which he passed on to Angie. She, in turn, would send pictures and any information she obtained to the doctor. Told he would be leaving late tonight or early morning he had questioned the doctor's plan and worried about Lee's reaction, questioning whether she was pushing Lee too fast. She had not seen him, curled up and not responding to anything.

Chip hurried his steps only to stop short at the sight of his smiling friend relaxing in the hallway.

"Lee! What in the world?"

Holding up a hand, Lee gave a devilish grin as he strolled down the corridor, once more tapping the security door and making his way back to his astonished looking friend. He ended his performance by taking an exaggerated swipe with his hand across his forehead.

Maybe I've misjudged the doctor. She warned me I was letting my concern for Lee get in the way of his recovery. Okay Morton, she's a doc, you need to follow her lead.

"Fantastic job! Next stop, the dining room."

They reentered Lee's room where he went to his laptop. SOON NOT YET

"I'll give you a couple more days, but that's it. Now, you want a progress report on the sub or are you going to show off some more?"

For an answer, Lee sat on the loveseat and crossed his legs, giving his complete attention to his executive officer.

The afternoon meeting between Dr. Anderson and her patient got off to a good start but went downhill fast. The doctor had wheeled in the whiteboard with pictures of Seaview, Chip, Tom and Bob. Lee enjoyed "talking" about them, even swore when he read Chip's account of their embarrassing trip last winter. However, when she attempted to bring up the time Kowalski saved Lee's life during a dive, he shut her down, refusing to hear about it or look at Ski's picture placed on the board. He even went as far as to make a clumsy attempt removing it, in the process, knocking off most of the other items.

This was unacceptable. She seized Lee by the upper arms and commanded, "Commander Crane, stop that this instant. I will not tolerate temper tantrums. Now sit down and act like a naval officer!"

Shocked, Lee dropped onto the couch.

Dr. Anderson straightened the board and placed Ski's photo and short story on the reverse side, temporarily out of view. "If you can't discuss your current crew in a civilized manner we will talk about someone else you have confidence in." She had spoken in an authoritative tone, never raising the volume of her voice; now she softened it a degree. "I noticed both of your first choices were from early in your career. Is there someone more recent? Not all of your time has been at sea, how about a name from your shore duty?"

As Lee settled down, he thought over the request. BRUCE MADISON IN ADM POLK'S OFFICE

"What did he do so special that you trust him over other people? Did he save your life like Bob Starr?"

I DISCOVERED CRIME BACKED ME RISK CAREER

"I see. Madison had integrity, someone you would give your loyal to in return."

YES

Dr. Anderson pulled a photo from her notebook and laid it down on the table in front of Lee. It was a picture of approximately 20 sailors standing alongside Seaview.

"But these men, who have served with you for more than two years; not a single one of them is worth your respect and allegiance?"

I CAN'T TALK ABOUT THEM

"Why not? What have they done?"

PLEASE DON'T

Lee tightly shut his eyes, unable to bear to look at the photo of people he had once thought of as family.

Dr. Anderson returned it to her file and intensely studied her patient. He's terrified they want him dead but why, what caused the radical change? This was obviously the key to everything. In time, he would tell her the reason. It was best not to push the matter, keeping him calm and approachable was more important. Perhaps another angle, another nudge towards socializing was in order. Lee had been handling one-on-one situations with the professionals but it was time to get him with another patient, and she had just the one.

"Lee, do you like hot chocolate?"

Still a little withdrawn, he just nodded his head.

"I think it's time for you to meet your neighbor. She always has a cup about now. I'll call and add our order to hers, and then I'll walk over with you."

After the call to the kitchen, the two made their way across the hallway.

"Hello K.C., is it all right if we intrude?"

The older woman smiled and looked up from the screen she'd been studying.

"Of course, Eve, any time. Let me guess, you've already phoned in your request to the kitchen."

She looked briefly at Lee then returned to her laptops. Satisfied there were no new messages, she turned back to her company.

The 70-year-old was petite, barely over five feet. Her long and thick silver hair was pulled back and held in place with a seashell-shaped hair clip at the nape of her neck. Her open smile reached her amazing violet colored eyes.

"Are you going to tell me who this handsome young man is, Eve?"

"If I can have your undivided attention for five minutes, K. C."

With a quick check of her computers, she faced her visitors.

"Five minutes is pushing, but I'll try. Now, introduce me."

With great formality Dr. Anderson proceeded. "Dr. Carter, let me introduce Commander Lee Crane, captain of the submarine Seaview. Commander, this demanding lady is Dr. Katharina Carter, winner of this year's Nobel Prize plus numerous other distinguished awards."

"Pieces of paper, but helpful at raising money," the scientist modestly protested. "My friends call me K.C. May I call you Lee?"

At the mention of her full name, Lee's eyes widened. He awkwardly shook her hand with both of his.

"I think he knows your reputation," the younger doctor lightheartedly commented. Lee enthusiastically nodded.

"I'm flattered, but serving on Seaview with Nelson, I'm not surprised you recognize the name. Our interests overlap at times. Have a seat, I'm afraid one of you will have to make use of the bed. I needed all the space I could get for my computers." Dr. Carter cast an eye at her e-mail program once again, then apologized to her doctor. "Sorry, I only made it for three and a half minutes." Looking at Lee she commented, "You're a very quiet man."

"Lee is having a little problem with his voice right now, but we expect that will change very shortly, don't we, Lee?" Dr. Anderson couldn't help the little mental push. "The two of us have been using a keyboard to communicate for now."

Dr. Carter nodded and smiled. "Don't worry Lee, Dr. Anderson is an excellent psychiatrist. She usually has me back to work in two or three weeks when my OCD flares up. Oh good, here are our drinks. Thank you, Rick," she addressed the orderly as she accepted her warm drink.

Lee sat with great attention as Dr. Carter spoke of her latest research. Perhaps the presence of the Seaview's captain spurred her to explain about her work with a special species of coral and her belief it would help inthe fight against bone cancer.

"In fact, I hope Nelson will read the study as he had done experiments with the same class of coral. I would appreciate his feedback on my research."

Lee picked up his cup and took a sip of the now tepid liquid. He looked forward to the next visit.